putting a middle school student in ps

[48820592]

My daughter is in 7th grade and is thinking she is missing out by being homeschooled.  We are involved in many things so it is not because she is stuck home everyday never seeing friends.  I don't think starting in ps in middle school is the wisest thing to do because of girl drama, hormones, and the non-strenuous curriculum.  I don't know what to do.  Our relationship is being challenged because of her attitude toward getting her work done at home.  Part of me wants to send her so that she can see that getting up at 6 AM everyday, riding the bus, sitting through classes that she will probably be bored in (ie math, history, science), and then having to do homework and practice piano at night is not the greener grass that she thought. 

 

Just wondering for those who have been in this boat and have sent your kids to school how it has played out for you, your family, and your child.

 

FYI--I am not against ps.  I loved school--cried my eyes out on the last day of my senior year.  I just know that she has more opportunities at home and is not tied to a certain curriculum mandated by the state.

 

Thanks for your help.

[HomeAgain]

We put our oldest in for 10th grade.  He is honestly baffled by the school system, how it's a lot of crowd control and going over basics before hitting the meaty stuff.  He complains that he *has* to go (and yes, he does). The social part made it worth it to put him back in, the ease of dual enrollment added the cherry on top.  We still have to remind him to do stuff like taking his pocket knife out of his bag after a weekend camping, :rolleyes:  or stop him when he announces that classes are not scheduled to teach anything new today so he's going to stay home.  Yeah...doesn't work like that.

 

It's been two years, and it has been a good decision for us.  A better decision would have been to have a co-op once a week, classes at the community college, and online accredited classes for high school to finish up his time, but that combination was not available here.

[Ravin]

BTDT, it didn't work. DD was in B&M school last year and it did nothing to improve her attitude, and made her physical health worse. This year she's in an online school, and that's not working out so great, either.

[foxbridgeacademy]

A friend of mine enrolled her DD this year in 8th grade.  The thought was that her DD should get some exposure to school to see how well it fit.  If there were problems (socially, academically) then she could return home to work on those before going back in 9th.  Keep in mind that in many states you can't start H.S. at any grade other than 9th.  So the friend's DD who had never attended P.S. and had always been HSed in a eclectic environment (little of this, little of that, no real worry about benchmarks or keeping up) is doing great. She was a bit behind but has caught up quickly and loves going. This kid had serious issues with stamina and lot's of complaining but is thriving in the P.S. environment.

 

My DD has tried P.S. twice and is determined to never do it again.  It caused her to become more and more fatigued the amount of work and early mornings did exactly what you would think it would.  

 

So not much actual advice, except that it would be better to find out in 8th grade that she hates it/loves it than wait until H.S. so that if she fails it goes on her permanent transcript that future Colleges will want to see.

[wintermom]

Yes, that was our family last year with ds 13. He really wanted to experience school, and he had really thought out all the potential pros and cons. We enrolled him and the PS was very warm and welcoming, as were the teachers and administration.  It took several months for ds to learn that most of the pros he was looking forward to just weren't happening and not likely to, and the cons were getting tough to live with. He came back home after 7 months, and took up his homeschooling routine again very quickly and easily - and with a MUCH more positive and thankful attitude and motivation. Yay!

 

I just asked him now what he would recommend to another person in a similar situation, and he said that he wished he would have spent a week in a classroom to see what it was all about, then get out fast. He regrets the time he felt he wasted. I think, as a parent, that it was great to him to experience exactly what he "thought" he was missing out on. The reality was that he had to drop several of our homeschool activities that year and wasn't able to participate in similar things at school. Either there wasn't space because of too many students, the level was far below his level, or there wasn't time in the timetable. 

 

There are so many factors to consider, though, and for some people the PS works just fine. Hopefully things will work out well for your family whichever decision you choose.

[Momling]

I have one daughter at public middle school and she *loves* it all (except maybe not the girl drama). I have another who refuses to go but wants to go to the high school next year. I like that both my kids are invested in their school experiences. Perhaps give it a try and see how it goes? You can always switch later if it's not a good fit.

[Mimm]

I put my daughter in last year in 8th grade. It was the right decision. It helps to be in the last grade in public school. She was a little surprised at how Freshmen are treated (looked down on, dismissed, nothing serious, but a little mean at times) in high school because she'd never experienced that. I laughed and said, yeah, because you started public school in 8th. :) Junior highs in my town are a lot smaller (there are a few middle schools for each high school) so starting in 8th made it so she knew people and was adjusted to public school expectations before she started high school.

 

Our relationship was suffering greatly by homeschooling. Honestly, I feel that in spite of how difficult middle school can be, I should have put her in public school a few years before I did. She was happy and upbeat every day I picked her up from school.

 

My middle child has decided to enter eighth grade next year. I won't be a homeschooling mom next September. :( I'm very sad about it but I hope she has a wonderful time there as well.

[linders]

My DS15  and DS12 started school last year (8th and 6th), at a smallish private Episcopal school. Overall good experience. They were both accepted quite easily, they did exceptionally well in academics (thank you, homeschool), and liked their teachers for the most part. Downside - they were exhausted, especially the first few months, and younger DS was quite bored by the work, although he loved the projects and joint learning. It really forced older DS to step up his game - he was a major dawdler at home, didn't complete assignments, etc. But he cares a great deal about what others think, so he put in the effort needed to be top of his class.

 

Funny on the drama - older DS's class of about 25 is drama-free. Nothing major from either boys or girls. The girls in younger DS's class are great, no drama. The boys, though? Oh, vey! Friends, not friends, choosing sides, secrets, blah, blah, blah. As DS said, "Why can't we all just be friends?"

[wintermom]

My DS15  and DS12 started school last year (8th and 6th), at a smallish private Episcopal school. Overall good experience. They were both accepted quite easily, they did exceptionally well in academics (thank you, homeschool), and liked their teachers for the most part. Downside - they were exhausted, especially the first few months, and younger DS was quite bored by the work, although he loved the projects and joint learning. It really forced older DS to step up his game - he was a major dawdler at home, didn't complete assignments, etc. But he cares a great deal about what others think, so he put in the effort needed to be top of his class.

 

Funny on the drama - older DS's class of about 25 is drama-free. Nothing major from either boys or girls. The girls in younger DS's class are great, no drama. The boys, though? Oh, vey! Friends, not friends, choosing sides, secrets, blah, blah, blah. As DS said, "Why can't we all just be friends?"

 

My ds was exhausted, too. He also got sick very frequently, which wasn't the case when he's being homeschooled. That really began to wear him down, so that dealing with the bullies, boredom and busywork was tougher to manage.

[Kiara.I]

You know what I want?  I want a school to run a summer camp for homeschoolers where they can "go to school" for a week, or two weeks, or something.  The full classroom experience.  Of course you probably couldn't get the size of student body that would be typical, but at least the classes, the schedule, the homework, the expectations...

I think it would be super helpful.

[HSmomof2]

My daughter is in 7th grade and is thinking she is missing out by being homeschooled. We are involved in many things so it is not because she is stuck home everyday never seeing friends. I don't think starting in ps in middle school is the wisest thing to do because of girl drama, hormones, and the non-strenuous curriculum. I don't know what to do. Our relationship is being challenged because of her attitude toward getting her work done at home. Part of me wants to send her so that she can see that getting up at 6 AM everyday, riding the bus, sitting through classes that she will probably be bored in (ie math, history, science), and then having to do homework and practice piano at night is not the greener grass that she thought.

 

Just wondering for those who have been in this boat and have sent your kids to school how it has played out for you, your family, and your child.

 

FYI--I am not against ps. I loved school--cried my eyes out on the last day of my senior year. I just know that she has more opportunities at home and is not tied to a certain curriculum mandated by the state.

 

Thanks for your help.

Edited September 30, 2017 by Bethany Grace

[Matryoshka]

Dd asked to go in 6th, when her older sisters started high school.  She had an overall okay experience, but ended up coming home by April vacation.  She said she just wanted to prove to me that school wasn't as much work as I said, and I was actually giving her more. :glare:

 

Halfway through 8th she was really giving me attitude and not wanting to do work, so she went back.  Again, it was okay.  She started getting sick by the end of the year.  In 6th, for some reason she was able to switch to going to bed earlier to get enough sleep to get up earlier, but in 8th the shift didn't happen.  Then she started 9th this year - within a few months she was exhausted and getting sick.  She's back home for good (can't go in and out of high school...)

 

Depends on the kid and the school.  My older two (twins) went in 9th.  One came home after two years to finish up as a homeschooler, and the other is still there and graduating this spring.   None of my kids had any social issues or drama.  Issues here seem to be the intense pace of the high school schedule (4 min between classes, 20 min for lunch, no study periods or breaks during the day, at least for the first couple of years).  The middle school schedule wasn't so intense...