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Kinsa

UPDATED -- *sigh* I have to write a very difficult email to my father.

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No response.  I'm 99.99% sure he'd have read it by now.

 

That might be a good sign, in that it could mean he's actually thinking through it all rather than automatically reacting defensively. Here's hoping that's the case, at least.

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Still nothing.

Has he done/said anything to your sister though that he was planning on that prompted you to write the email in the first place? Maybe he is taking your email into consideration if he hasn't.

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Has he done/said anything to your sister though that he was planning on that prompted you to write the email in the first place? Maybe he is taking your email into consideration if he hasn't.

I sincerely doubt he's talked to her. They've always had a tenuous relationship to begin with. I hope the silence is that he's just mulling over what I've said to him.

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How are you holding up, Karen? Are you okay? :grouphug:

Oh, you know me. I'm made of tuff stuff. (LOL)

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Update:

 

First of all, I just want to say that I'm blown away by how many people responded to my whiny post! Thank you for the support!

 

I finally got an email response from my father. I was unable to persuade him to change his mind, so things are going to proceed as he planned. Which means, soon my sister will find out, and she will be heartbroken and mad at him. They've never had a great relationship, so I'm pretty sure this will push her further away. I wouldn't be surprised if it becomes the final nail in the coffin of their relationship.

 

I did respond to my dad, told him I was sorry to hear of his decision, and encouraged him to contact my sister soon and tell her himself. I think he will do that. I'm staying out of it. No one in the family knows that I know anything about it, so I'm going to feign ignorance and be an emotional support to my sister when it all blows up. I know it might seem unfair for me not to warn her, but you'll just have to trust me on this, that it's completely between them and it's not my place to speak for my father in this instance.

 

So I'm sad that I wasn't able to persuade him, but I'm relieved that he took my email in good spirits and isn't holding anything against me.

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I am very sorry to hear this. Was really hoping that he was taking these days to reconsider. Yes, glad he isn't mad at you and responded, but feel sorry he insists on hurting her. I will pray you can make her feel better once it all blows up :(

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You did the right thing and it looks like even your father realized you meant well, because he's not angry with you.

 

I'm sorry he couldn't see the error of his ways, but maybe your email will make him think about trying to be a bit more sensitive when he talks to your sister.

 

I wish he would have listened to you. :(

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Which means, soon my sister will find out, and she will be heartbroken and mad at him. They've never had a great relationship, so I'm pretty sure this will push her further away. I wouldn't be surprised if it becomes the final nail in the coffin of their relationship.

 

That may be for the best. Of course, I don't know your family, but if they're already at a breaking point it may be healthier for both of them to go no contact with each other. We always think it's unfortunate when families have a hard time sticking together, but sometimes there's no point trying to maintain the relationship.

 

Of course you had to try, and if your father didn't listen, well, that's on him.

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I'm sorry. You tried, and did what you thought was best. All you can do now, as you said, is be there for your sister.  :grouphug:

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You did the right thing; there's nothing more  you can do (well, as far as I know, at least).

 

Good on you for trying, and good on you for resolving to support your sister when the chips fall.

 

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:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

There was only so much you could have done. I'm sorry he didn't listen to you.

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So I'm sad that I wasn't able to persuade him, but I'm relieved that he took my email in good spirits and isn't holding anything against me

 

You had the courage to do what you felt you needed to do. He received it, considered it and decided differently. You did what was in your power, what he is doing is outside of your power. I think you are doing the right thing by focusing on how to support your sister now. I wish I more often had the courage to do what I should do. Well done.

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