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Should we dog sit for our friends?


MamaHappy
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We have some friends who have asked us to dog sit for them. The dog would be coming to our house and it would be for 5-6 days.  They have not offered to pay us and I'm assuming they won't.  I'm kinda torn about it because we d like to help them out, but I know it will be a huge inconvenience. We don't have dogs, but we do have a cat who I'm sure will not be thrilled about having a dog in the house. We also don't have a fenced yard, so the dog would require lots of daily walks. 

 

What would you do?  I guess I don't really want to, but I feel bad saying no.  If we don't do it, they will probably have to pay to have the dog boarded.

Edited by MamaHappy
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Do they live close by and have a fenced in yard themselves?  I'm just wondering if you could offer to stop by their house twice/day to let the dog out, feed it, and give it a little attention.  If it's a good friend and you really want to help out, perhaps that'd be doable?

 

Otherwise, it sounds like it may not be workable, and I think you could tell her that.  Blame it on the cat and the no fence. 

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That's a lot of responsibility and a big time commitment. If you don't have a fenced yard it will be a pain.  It's not bad to say no and the dog will be okay for a week in a kennel. They can look around for a good place. What if your cat flips out? If you are going to do it I would take the dog for a couple of days as a trial. Really, you don't want to do it. Just say no. 

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It would depend on the dog. We did dog sitting twice. We didn't have a yard. The first time was for a youngish toy poodle who didn't quite understand what she was supposed to do when we took her outside to go to the bathroom, could jump over any gate or obstacle that we used to keep her in the kitchen so she wouldn't pee on the carpet, and was a shrill yapper. Awful experience. The second, we helped them out last minute. The dog was a dream—older, perfect behavior, unfazed by our cat and didn't bother her, knew tricks that she would do for treats (the kids loved doing this). Wonderful experience. So I'd want to know and see the dog before answering.

 

Erica in OR

 

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Would you rather have an awkward conversation or be put out for a week? I'd choose quick and painful over drawn out and painful. Don't feel bad that they have to take responsibility for their own dog. People who choose to own pets KNOW that there are expenses and inconveniences involved. You choose a pet with the level of responsibility you can handle. You chose a cat for a reason.

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Um, no! 

 

You don't have a fence, you do have a cat, it's very inconvenient - why would you even think about saying yes? In addition to the standard inconveniences, think about how prepared you are to have a strange dog in your household for that length of time. What if the dog gets ill? Runs out of the house? Attacks your cat? Bites your children? If they haven't donated a kidney to you, say no. 

 

If they don't feel bad about asking you, why should you feel bad about saying no? 

 

What is wrong with them paying to have the dog boarded? That is a standard for pet owners, not some weird and unexpected expense. 

 

Know that, if you say yes, they will ask you to do it again. 

 

No. 

 

No. 

 

No. 

 

 

 

 

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Thank you for all of the responses!  I love this board. :thumbup:

 

Do they live close by and have a fenced in yard themselves?  I'm just wondering if you could offer to stop by their house twice/day to let the dog out, feed it, and give it a little attention.  If it's a good friend and you really want to help out, perhaps that'd be doable?

 

Otherwise, it sounds like it may not be workable, and I think you could tell her that.  Blame it on the cat and the no fence. 

 

We live about 45 mins. away so this really isn't doable.  But a great idea though!!

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No. You have a cat that isn't used to dogs. S/he will be traumatized. You don't have a fence. You don't really want to do this. I would say sorry, we can't do it. And again - your cat. It doesn't seem fair to your cat.

 

We board our dogs when we travel. Or sometimes we use a dog sitting service, and they come several times a day - it's a bit less than boarding.

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It never occurred to me, when I lived in the USA, to ask someone to take care of my Old English Sheepdog, when I was out of town. She always went to a Boarding Kennel recommended by my vet. The fact that you have a cat, that you do not have a fenced yard, etc., would probably *not* make this a good experience for your family.      As the post #17 suggests, possibly a Dog Sitting service in their own home. 

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We have some friends who have asked us to dog sit for them. The dog would be coming to our house and it would be for 5-6 days.  They have not offered to pay us and I'm assuming they won't.  I'm kinda torn about it because we d like to help them out, but I know it will be a huge inconvenience. We don't have dogs, but we do have a cat who I'm sure will not be thrilled about having a dog in the house. We also don't have a fenced yard, so the dog would require lots of daily walks. 

 

What would you do?  I guess I don't really want to, but I feel bad saying no.  If we don't do it, they will probably have to pay to have the dog boarded.

 

Just tell the truth.  "I'd really like to help you out (which is true), but dog sitting doesn't work at our house (also true)."  The end.

 

You seem to feel the need to justify - and that's where your problem lies.  It's making you consider doing things you don't want to do and trying to find a good reason not to.  Don't do that.  You'll either end up saying yes to something you don't want to do, or you'll make up a half-lie (the cat doesn't like dogs...which might or might not be true, but you aren't willing to try), and it can really blow up in your face if they start problem solving for you (oh, how about we bring the dog over and see if it gets along with your cat?).  Just tell them the truth, it doesn't work for you.

 

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Another issue is what happens if the dog gets sick. I remember on at least one occasion, the lady who owns the Boarding Kennel my dog was in took my dog to the vet, when I was out of state or out of the country on a trip.  Being a dog sitter is like being a baby sitter, there is a lot of responsibility that goes along with the job. 

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Just Say No.  You obviously do not want to have a dog to care for in your house.  Offer to take in the mail, etc.  As responsible dog owners, they need to be prepared to pay for boarding their dog, not foist it on friends who are not dog-people. And I agree with Tammy S. - do NOT offer any reasons beyond "It wouldn't work for us".  Repeat as needed.

 

Some folks, their dog is so much a part of their family, they can not imagine other people not being as enamored of little Fifi (I am looking at you, Aunt Marge - our aunt Marge, not Harry Potter's...although she brought her dang mutt to the Dursley's house, too, didn't she!  ) as they are.

Edited by JFSinIL
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Just tell the truth.  "I'd really like to help you out (which is true), but dog sitting doesn't work at our house (also true)."  The end.

 

You seem to feel the need to justify - and that's where your problem lies.  It's making you consider doing things you don't want to do and trying to find a good reason not to.  Don't do that.  You'll either end up saying yes to something you don't want to do, or you'll make up a half-lie (the cat doesn't like dogs...which might or might not be true, but you aren't willing to try), and it can really blow up in your face if they start problem solving for you (oh, how about we bring the dog over and see if it gets along with your cat?).  Just tell them the truth, it doesn't work for you.

 

 

This.   But I'd leave out "at our house" or they may ask you to move into their house for the days.  :lol:

 

Just tell her it's not feasible for you to do it.  That's all you have to say.  'Cause it's just not. If you do it, it is going to be the longest 5 days of your life. 

 

(I have a dog.  I have had a dog stay here.  It was horrible.)

 

 

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Are your friends traveling because of a family emergency?  If so, I would be much more willing to help especially if they don't have the money to board the dog.  Otherwise in your situation, I would say no.  Dog sitting in your home would be really hard.  I have two cats and wouldn't think of bringing in a dog unless it was an emergency situation.  

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I am on the other end of this right now. I have been calling around everywhere asking people to watch my dogs. I'ts obnoxiously rude I feel like to ask someone to watch your pet. It's your dog you need to be responsible for it. I can't possibly afford my trip and board my dogs. It's a very a special occasion for a family member why I want to go.  It's very possibly this will be the  last time our whole family will ever be together.  Many of my  close friends who know all this have still not had a problem telling me no. And it's ok.  I'm not upset Its  totally  fine that they won't watch my dogs for me.   So all this to say it is fine and you shouldn't feel bad for saying no.

 

 

As a side note it's possible that they are planning on paying you and to her its a given and that's why they didn't say anything.

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I would say No..more-so b/c I'd be a little miffed that there was no offer of payment. Who thinks it's OK to ask someone to watch your dog for free for a week?! 

 

I might ask it of a good friend, though I would also expect to do favors for them, too.

 

Of course, I live by adult rules: it's ok to ask and it's ok to say no.

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A lot would depend on the dog.  We dog sat for friends of ours whose dog was the same age and size and basic temperment as ours was.  We had a room that was fairly empty and had laminate flooring that we kept both of the in for the week.  They were pretty playful and it kept us busy, but it worked out pretty well.  I dog sat for my IL's little dog for a couple of days and she was much more spoiled than what we spoil our dogs.  She wined a lot when I wouldn't let her sleep in the bed with me and she barked a lot more than our dog does.  That was much more of a head ache and yes I would do it for them again if the need arose.  Assuming the dog is house broken and isn't destructive and can get along with your cat or you an keep them separate and they were pretty good friends I would do it.

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Do they live far away? I help a friend with her dog but since I'm allergic the dog can't come to my home. I go over to my friend's house 2-3 times a day to let the dog out. We live about a 5-10 minute drive away. My kids love spending time with the dog and I am happy to help my friend (who takes care of our guinea pigs when we go away). It does make for a busier week but if you decide you want to help maybe that could be a solution?

Edited by jelbe5
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It's fine for you to say no.......but I'd take in the dog in a heart beat as I know how stressed our dog gets if kenneled. I'm always looking to trade favors with a friend without any pay. But I won't be upset if a friend said no when asked to pet sit.  A few times I have actually just "moved" into friend's house for the time along with my kids - sort of a vacation for us, too!

 

 

Myra 

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I am on the other end of this right now. I have been calling around everywhere asking people to watch my dogs. I'ts obnoxiously rude I feel like to ask someone to watch your pet. It's your dog you need to be responsible for it. I can't possibly afford my trip and board my dogs. It's a very a special occasion for a family member why I want to go. It's very possibly this will be the last time our whole family will ever be together. Many of my close friends who know all this have still not had a problem telling me no. And it's ok. I'm not upset Its totally fine that they won't watch my dogs for me. So all this to say it is fine and you shouldn't feel bad for saying no.

 

 

As a side note it's possible that they are planning on paying you and to her its a given and that's why they didn't say anything.

Moonsong, I'm sorry for your situation. Do you know any older teens or college students who might like to house sit for you? We used to have college age kids do it - they were happy to have their own space to watch movies and hang out for a week. And Google dog sitting - or call your vet and ask for house/dog sitting leads. That cost can be half of boarding.

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I would also tell them no as soon as possible. If I were to ask a friend and they came right back with, "Oh, sorry, we can't," I would just move on to the next person (or kennel). But when you let it go on without being definitive, it becomes harder for them to make other arrangements. And then the it's much more last minute for the next people on the list.

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No, and tell them quickly so they can make other arrangements.  It is a big deal to take on a dog if you are not already a dog household.  Also, both visiting pet sitters and boarding cost a lot of money.  IMO it's a big deal to ask someone to provide this for free.  The expenses of vacation care are part of the responsibilities of having a pet. 

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I would ask her to find someone else, but let her know you're willing to if she can't.

 

In my experience "I'll do it if nobody else can" pretty much means "yes".

 

 

 

The expenses of vacation care are part of the responsibilities of having a pet. 

 

Yeah, I kind of don't blame them for asking (sort of...) but I'd have offered to pay. We pay kids to feed our animals even, not even boarding them.

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In my experience "I'll do it if nobody else can" pretty much means "yes".

 

 

<snip>

 

Yeah.  I've learned the hard way not to say this, ever.  In my experience, people stop looking at that point because they know they don't have to.  Maybe they don't even mean to stop looking, but I don't think I've ever said "if you can't find anyone else..." and not ended up doing whatever it was they asked me to do.

 

Tell them no, tell them now so they can make other plans.

 

I do feel for people who have pets and can't afford to board them.  It is a stretch for us and has made us forgo experiences we would have liked to have had.  That's what we get for bringing an animal into our family. 

 

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I am a dog owner, so very pro-dog. I have also done dogsitting for friends.

 

However, if I were you, I would say no because you are not equipped to dog sit. You have a cat who you don't want to upset and you don't have a fenced yard. So no, it just won't work.

 

If I asked someone to dogsit for me and she was really reluctant for whatever reason, I would want her to tell me that it wouldn't work for her. I would not want her to try to do it anyway. 

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I can't imagine an adult friend expecting that I'd pay her to dog-sit. I pay neighbor kids to do this quite regularly, but another adult? That's kind of weird, imo, and nobody I know has ever done that.

 

I'd say yes if the friend was a close one and was in a pickle. It's also possible she thinks this may be fun for you and your kids? You know, take care of a dog for several days without dealing with owning a dog. If it would be too inconvenient, then say no. She could probably find a young person nearby who would do it for pay.

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I feel bad saying no.

 

Why? Seriously, why? Is this some crisis where if they don't go visit Grandpa now, they'll never be able to before he dies? Or are these friends so close that they literally donated a kidney to you?

 

Or do you just feel vague guilt for no real reason? Because if it's the latter - don't worry about it. You do not have an obligation to greatly inconvenience yourself and upset your family pet with no compensation, even if they are friends. And you don't need to explain yourself either. "Sorry, that just won't be possible for us" is all the explanation you need.

 

I can't imagine an adult friend expecting that I'd pay her to dog-sit. I pay neighbor kids to do this quite regularly, but another adult? That's kind of weird, imo, and nobody I know has ever done that.

 

If I asked my next door neighbor to poke her head in every day and feed and water my cats, I probably wouldn't pay her.

 

If I asked my neighbor to take my cats into her home, despite the fact that her dog doesn't like cats very much, then I certainly would pay her, because that's a much bigger inconvenience. Or at least I'd reciprocate in some other way, like an extravagant gift or a nice dinner out.

 

I think it's weird that you'd pay a kid to do this, but not a grown-up.

 

Edited by Tanaqui
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The more I think about this, the more I believe it might be a very bad experience for you. It would also depend a lot on the particular dog. I am thinking about which of our 7 dogs you would do the best with, if we sent one for you to dog sit for us.  The Rottweiler is our largest dog, and he has  not been to Obedience School, but he is the sweetest dog we have. You would like him. The other candidate was a Stray Dog, who was rescued, but he obviously belonged to someone who trained him.    He pays attention to my wife's commands, when he goes over the line, when he is in the house and she is in the Kitchen or we are eating in the Dining Room.

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You feel bad saying "no."

 

You will feel worse when the dog gets out off leash accidentally and you can't locate him or he is hit by a car.

 

You aren't set up for this and it's not a project for you to find out if your family can handle adopting a dog ( or some other purpose). And importantly, you don't want to.

 

Say No.

Edited by Diana P.
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No way. We did that once and the dog had explosive diarrhea overnight all over our laundry room. It took hours to scrub and sanitize. When we told the owner when she got home, she giggled and said, "oh yeah, he does that sometimes." We are not that close of friends anymore!

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Why? Seriously, why? Is this some crisis where if they don't go visit Grandpa now, they'll never be able to before he dies? Or are these friends so close that they literally donated a kidney to you?

 

Or do you just feel vague guilt for no real reason? Because if it's the latter - don't worry about it. You do not have an obligation to greatly inconvenience yourself and upset your family pet with no compensation, even if they are friends. And you don't need to explain yourself either. "Sorry, that just won't be possible for us" is all the explanation you need.

 

 

If I asked my next door neighbor to poke her head in every day and feed and water my cats, I probably wouldn't pay her.

 

If I asked my neighbor to take my cats into her home, despite the fact that her dog doesn't like cats very much, then I certainly would pay her, because that's a much bigger inconvenience. Or at least I'd reciprocate in some other way, like an extravagant gift or a nice dinner out.

 

I think it's weird that you'd pay a kid to do this, but not a grown-up.

 

 

Huh. I guess in my experience there are jobs for kids that you would expect to pay for, and then there are just neighborly/friendly things you ask adults to help you out with and for which you would neither expect to give nor receive payment.

 

If I ask the neighbor boy to collect my mail for a week, I'll pay him $10. If I ask an adult neighbor, then clearly I won't pay her anything...that's kind of silly. I mean, we're adults, so we help each other. It's not a "job", unlike for a kid who may have no other means of making a little pocket money.

 

Dog-sitting is a bigger responsibility, of course. I still wouldn't offer to pay a friend to do this, and I've never had anyone offer to pay me to watch their pet. I have given and received small gifts or souvenirs, if the vacation was a special place. If my child is being asked to watch the dog as a job, then of course there is the expectation of payment. But a friend asking another friend to help them out? Not so much.

 

And anyway, I don't think the OP had told her friend that her cat doesn't like dogs, so how would the friend know?

 

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And anyway, I don't think the OP had told her friend that her cat doesn't like dogs, so how would the friend know?

 

Many animals don't like a strange animal coming into the house, and it's a cultural trope that cats and dogs hate each other. (In my experience, cats and dogs that know each other are no more likely to be enemies than any pair of cats or dogs, but ymmv.) If her friend knows she has a pet, she has to know that this is an imposition on the pet's turf and that this is probably going to be a problem for the OP.

 

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Many animals don't like a strange animal coming into the house, and it's a cultural trope that cats and dogs hate each other. (In my experience, cats and dogs that know each other are no more likely to be enemies than any pair of cats or dogs, but ymmv.) If her friend knows she has a pet, she has to know that this is an imposition on the pet's turf and that this is probably going to be a problem for the OP.

Yeah, it would be a no for us even if we only had dogs. An only cat? No way. Not worth your couch getting peed on for the next 6 months.

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