Night Elf Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 My oldest dd bought me a new wallet, exactly what I asked for. I even showed her my old wallet so she would buy me something similar. Well, she did pick out a lovely wallet, but it's bigger than what I currently have. My purse is small and the only thing I carry in my purse is my wallet. My purse has a long strap so I can cross it over my body. The wallet she gave me has a strap. She was so excited when I opened it up that I didn't have the heart to tell her it wasn't what I wanted. I'm thinking of keeping it but just realizing it won't fit all the way in my purse. I can stand it up in the purse and it will stick out a little bit and I won't be able to zip my purse shut. I'm not worried about pick pockets so I don't think it's going to be a problem. But I'll admit I'm a little disappointed. What would you do? Keep it and make it work, or find a polite way to ask where she got it so I can go exchange it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawana Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Could you just carry the wallet by itself since it has a strap? 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Could you just carry the wallet by itself since it has a strap? That's what I'm wondering. If all you have in your purse is your wallet anyway, why not just carry the wallet? Is the strap long enough? If not, I'd probably be inclined to say "love the wallet, but it doesn't fit in my purse. Do you mind if I exchange it?" It depends on how you think your daughter would feel about it. I wouldn't walk around with my purse open and wallet sticking out. Even if you're not worried about it being stolen, it could fall out without you noticing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted December 26, 2015 Author Share Posted December 26, 2015 It does have a wrist strap but when I shop I don't like carrying anything in my hands. That's why I have a purse with a long enough strap to cross over my body. When I was younger and carried short-strapped purses, I'd just sit them in a grocery cart while I shopped. Now I don't like that idea. I'd have to lay the wallet in the child seat. Am I weird for being scared to do that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawana Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Yes, a wrist strap wouldn't function the same as a cross body strap. I would do as pp suggested and ask to exchange. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 I didn't get that it was just a wrist strap. I would find that inconvenient too. So, I'd take it back, or see if there was a way to attach a longer strap - though I don't know where one would find such a thing. Oh, well, I just googled. There are purse straps that can be purchased. Of course I don't know if that would work for the wallet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwg Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 lol, my first thought was it sounds like you need a new purse. :lol: 45 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 I don't think I could tell my child I wanted to exchange the wallet if they were excited for me to have what they picked. I would probably go buy myself a slightly larger purse. You know your child best and if she us able to understand that you love the wallet but it doesn't fit in your purse then take that route. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monica_in_Switzerland Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Can you show the situation to your dd and see if she'd rather... a. exchange it b. go purse shopping with you, or c. her own unique solution ? Obviously you'll explain how disappointed you are that it doesn't fit, because it was so perfect and blah blah blah. I don't like the idea of a wallet just hanging a bit out of your purse. That seems weird and a little tempting to pick pockets. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Try the wrist strap for a few outings. I got a new large wallet with one this summer and made the switch from purse across body to wrist only. I've been really surprised at how easy the wrist strap is to use. It just hangs there, hands free. I don't put it into the buggy and leave it. I'd try using it alone, and if it still didn't work for me, I would go buy a new purse to put it in. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Am I weird for being scared to do that? No, you are smart. Leaving a purse (or wallet) in the cart is foolish, regardless of where you live or where you shop. Your dd is old enough to understand your problem. Monica_in_Switzerland has it right. You love the wallet, but it doesn't fit your purse--what does your dd think you should do? I bought my mom a wallet this year for Christmas. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted December 26, 2015 Author Share Posted December 26, 2015 I like the idea of buying a new purse. I'm sure she would love to go shopping with me. I don't know how old my current purse is. It looks like macrame so it's held up really well. Yeah, I'll tell her the wallet doesn't fit and I need a new purse. That would be a win-win for us. Good idea. Thanks! 46 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 I like the idea of buying a new purse. I'm sure she would love to go shopping with me. I don't know how old my current purse is. It looks like macrame so it's held up really well. Yeah, I'll tell her the wallet doesn't fit and I need a new purse. That would be a win-win for us. Good idea. Thanks! :lol: is this is the mom version of if you give a mouse a cookie? Once you get a new purse, you'll need some great shoes to coordinate with the bag... 37 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted December 26, 2015 Author Share Posted December 26, 2015 :lol: is this is the mom version of if you give a mouse a cookie? Once you get a new purse, you'll need some great shoes to coordinate with the bag... And a new snazzy outfit! This could be a great shopping trip! 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 If my dd gave it to me I might go to Target and buy a slightly larger purse. If the wallet came from dh it would get returned. * If it came from my mom, I'd toss it aside because she doesn't keep receipts. My mom also thinks it's against present etiquette if you ask to return for any reason, including clothing the wrong size. Do I don't deal with my mom at all. Back to your dd, it sounds like your dd was really into the present. If her approach appeared to be "mom wants a wallet, this one looks good, done" then I might ask about receipts. Your description is she thought about it and really thought this particular wallet was right for you. When that happens, if it is at all possible I try to find a way to make it work. In this case that might mean going shopping for a new purse. It could be something inexpensive from Target or a consignment shop. * If dh had put a lot of thought an expense into a wallet, I'd also see if I could make it work rather than return it. Years ago, I was complaining about not having a watch for open water swim races. Watches I'd had that advertised they were made for that broke. Of course I was getting the cheapest available. Dh was so proud when he presented me with a waterproof watch. It was a SCUBA watch and the watch face was analog, not digital. My dh has such a hard time finding presents, no way was I going to tell him it was wrong--that analog is really hard to read while racing and can't be used easily to calculate pace. I where that watch all the time. It is quite useful when I am teaching swimming, just not race. I'm not fast and have no chance of winning so having that tool to pace myself is not a huge deal anyway. So, I guess the response I have depends on the sentiment the person put into the gift. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 I don't think I could tell my child I wanted to exchange the wallet if they were excited for me to have what they picked. I would probably go buy myself a slightly larger purse. You know your child best and if she us able to understand that you love the wallet but it doesn't fit in your purse then take that route. Meaning this gently. I agree with kewb. The thing is. . . it's probably not a good idea to encourage someone to pick out something for you like a wallet that's so personal. You know, it can't be too big, too small, too sparkly, must fit in purse etc. I'd get a new purse. Alley 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 lol, my first thought was it sounds like you need a new purse. :lol: Me too! Dang, a new purse, so sad. You might need two new ones, just in case! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 It does have a wrist strap but when I shop I don't like carrying anything in my hands. That's why I have a purse with a long enough strap to cross over my body. When I was younger and carried short-strapped purses, I'd just sit them in a grocery cart while I shopped. Now I don't like that idea. I'd have to lay the wallet in the child seat. Am I weird for being scared to do that? I, too, wear a cross-body strap purse to keep hands free. And I would never ever leave a purse or wallet on a table or shopping cart. If anyone asks why not, ask if they would leave their wallet with their credit card and money etc. on a table or shopping cart. You never see men leave their wallet out where it can be easily stolen. Why should we? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 It does have a wrist strap but when I shop I don't like carrying anything in my hands. That's why I have a purse with a long enough strap to cross over my body. When I was younger and carried short-strapped purses, I'd just sit them in a grocery cart while I shopped. Now I don't like that idea. I'd have to lay the wallet in the child seat. Am I weird for being scared to do that? No, you are smart. Leaving a purse (or wallet) in the cart is foolish, regardless of where you live or where you shop. Your dd is old enough to understand your problem. Monica_in_Switzerland has it right. You love the wallet, but it doesn't fit your purse--what does your dd think you should do? I bought my mom a wallet this year for Christmas. :) I like the idea of getting a new purse to accommodate your new wallet. :thumbup1: As to the bolded above, years ago when everyone used checks my co-worker thought it was ok to leave her purse in her cart at the commissary while she went one aisle over to grab some item she needed. In that short time someone had stolen a single check out of the checkbook in her purse. It wasn't the next one to be used so it took a couple days for her to realize one was missing. She showed me the cancelled check when she got it back. Totally different signature with annotation that the person's ID was "vouched for." Today's equivalent would be someone snapping a pic of your credit card instead of just taking it. Anyway, have fun purse shopping! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted December 26, 2015 Author Share Posted December 26, 2015 Well, I actually solved the problem without spending money. I forgot I had old purses sitting in the closet. I found a red one that still looks nice and the wallet fits perfectly in it. So I won't be going shopping after all. That's kind of a bummer, but I spent so much on Christmas that I kind of hate spending needlessly. 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 And a new snazzy outfit! This could be a great shopping trip! If you give a mom a new snazzy outfit, she'll need some cute little earrings to go with it... 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 If you give a mom a new snazzy outfit, she'll need some cute little earrings to go with it... Then she'll need a dinner date to wear it all... 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Definitely get a new purse. It's lovely that your daughter was excited to get you just what you wanted, that she put care into choosing it, that she was excited to see you open it. How wonderful! What a great relationship. Go ahead and feed that beautiful, loving energy. Treasure the wallet. Get a new purse. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSmomof2 Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 lol, my first thought was it sounds like you need a new purse. :lol: That was my first thought, too. 😊 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 (edited) I assume it's from the 17 year old? I'd show her how it didn't fit all the while telling her how much I love it but am afraid with the wrist strap I'd either lose it or bop someone with it when wearing it..... then ask her what does she think I should do? Most likely she will suggest you return it or that she return it to pick out something within the size limitations. If she doesn't suggest it you could gently steer her to the idea or sadly realize that returning it is the only option available. She'll be in on the decision and can see that you love it but through no fault of hers it just won't work..... Or get a new purse so you can carry more than a wallet if needed. Edited December 26, 2015 by foxbridgeacademy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted December 26, 2015 Share Posted December 26, 2015 Then she'll need a dinner date to wear it all... And probably a new car to enhance the special shininess of the whole outfit/event. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted December 27, 2015 Author Share Posted December 27, 2015 And probably a new car to enhance the special shininess of the whole outfit/event. I'm liking this! I wonder how to get my DH on board! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southern Ivy Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 I'd personally find this to be a perfect opportunity to buy a new purse. :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
38carrots Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 lol, my first thought was it sounds like you need a new purse. :lol: My thoughts exactly! Have fun purse shopping! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 My oldest dd bought me a new wallet, exactly what I asked for. I even showed her my old wallet so she would buy me something similar. Well, she did pick out a lovely wallet, but it's bigger than what I currently have. My purse is small and the only thing I carry in my purse is my wallet. My purse has a long strap so I can cross it over my body. The wallet she gave me has a strap. She was so excited when I opened it up that I didn't have the heart to tell her it wasn't what I wanted. I'm thinking of keeping it but just realizing it won't fit all the way in my purse. I can stand it up in the purse and it will stick out a little bit and I won't be able to zip my purse shut. I'm not worried about pick pockets so I don't think it's going to be a problem. But I'll admit I'm a little disappointed. What would you do? Keep it and make it work, or find a polite way to ask where she got it so I can go exchange it? Keep it, make it work, or get a new purse. I couldn't break DD's heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 In future, don't ask for something you are going to be that particular about. Now, get yourself a new purse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 (edited) I would tell her it's beautiful and you love, love, love it, but it doesn't fit in your purse and can she help you pick out one that fits in your purse. ETA: I just read the previous responses. I think getting a new purse is actually a great option also. Edited December 28, 2015 by reefgazer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 I see the problem has been solved, but I do want to add that in my family culture it's completely acceptable to say, "This gift won't work for me for X reason; I'd like to exchange it." I make sure to remind my kids of that as they are opening things. I think a 17 yo girl should be able to handle mom saying, "the new wallet is lovely, but doesn't fit in my purse. Can we go pick out another one and exchange it?" IMO, this is part of gracious gift giving--the recognition that your gift may not fit the needs/wants of the recipient and may need to be adjusted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 (edited) Glad you found a solution! Edited December 28, 2015 by Tap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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