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Amira

How far away from your mom do you live?

  

309 members have voted

  1. 1. How far from your mother do you live?

    • 0-5 miles (0-8 km)
      48
    • 5-10 miles (8-15 km
      13
    • 10-20 miles (15-30 km)
      15
    • 20-40 miles (30-65 km)
      17
    • 40-80 miles (65-130 km)
      17
    • 80-160 miles (130-250 km)
      21
    • 160-400 miles (250-600 km)
      34
    • 400-1000 miles (600-1600 km)
      45
    • 1000-2000 miles (1600-3200 km)
      44
    • 2000-3000 miles (3200-4800 km)
      27
    • More than 3000 miles (4800 km)
      28


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I thought this story was interesting about how half of all Americans live no further than 18 miles from their mom, and how that reflects wealth and opportunity.

 

How about you?  I live a lot further than 18 miles from my parents, but I am from the intermountain west where the average is at least twice as high as most of the US (and I think that's partly because there are more opportunities in other parts of the country and we have mobility in our genes).

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Just over 4 miles from my mom. Under 2 miles from MIL. Being close to family is one thing that's kept us from seriously considering moving away even though there's a lot I don't like about where we live.

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I now live 1.5 miles from my mom but for the 20 years prior I lived 1000+ miles from her or any family .

 

We're still 1000 miles away from dh's family and lot of mine.

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My mom has passed away, but she lived about 7.5 miles from us.  We're less than 10 miles from MIL.

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My mother is no longer alive, but when I was first married I lived about 2 streets over.  I moved to another state after that.  My dad moved, but within the same city.  At this point we are about a 3 hour drive apart.

 

My husband's mother lives in another country.  Sometimes I wish it were another planet though.

 

 

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My mom is no longer living, but since I've moved out I have lived 100+ miles from her or any other family on that side.  In fact, it was a condition of our marriage that we'd never move anywhere that was within an hour's drive of my family...lol.

Dh lives less than a mile from his mom though, and our house is on the property she grew up on.

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I thought it was much more, but after Googling found out it is only 1,500 miles.  We always lived within a 2 hour drive from all parents (with multiple divorces, there are several sets) and were devastated when she decided to move a couple of weeks after dd#2 was born.  Though it has given us the opportunity for pretty spectacular vacations.  

 

Surprisingly, it has helped our relationship.  We both have to intentionally keep our relationship strong through emails, calls, and when possible, visits.  My dad "only" lives about 45 minutes away.  Close enough to drop by, but far enough away it doesn't happen much.

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I live about 60 miles from my parents, but I live only a few miles from where I was born, and from where both of my parents were born.  My parents moved "away" to a rural town when I was 12.  There were multiple factors, including a growing family and urban blight/flight.  My mom would say it was also to get away from my grandmothers, but I don't know about that.

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She used to live on the opposite side of the continent but moved back the other year and now lives on the other side of town, about 5 mins away.

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Opposite side of country. We do better with distance. It irked me that her social life was more important than visiting us. But our activities could be skipped in her opinion to visit her. Now she has to plan a visit and she is coming once a year. We are hoping for every 3 years to go back.

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Currently less than a mile but in previous times we've lived on the opposite end of the country.

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I live about 20 miles from my mom.  My parents still live in the same house I grew up in.  My ILs are about 5 miles away.

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8 hours by car for mine and 4 hours by car for hubby's.

 

My mom is currently about 3 feet from me though.  I love our visits together and both hubby and I have been trying to get her to move into a bedroom upstairs, but alas, she loves her own place.  She didn't grow up there, but it's where she's been since she graduated from college (more or less).  We have gotten her to travel with us a bit these past few years.

 

Hubby's mom has Alzheimers/dementia.  There's no way she could live with us.

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Currently I live almost 5,500 miles from my mother. The place we'll most likely live when we return to the U.S. is still over 400 miles from her.

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My mum lives in another state, a good 12 hour drive I'd guess. Before this year she lived within 20 mins, but I hadn't seen or spoken to her in 3 years.

My in-laws are about 90mins away and we see them regularly. Before we moved we were about 20-30 mins away, we have moved further away than any other siblings.

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About 4500 miles. My sister is fortunate to live only about 10 miles from my mom.

 

The closest I've lived (as an independent adult) is 3600 miles.

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Interesting.

 

I live right at about 1000 miles from my grandparents (parents, for all intents and purposes).  

 

 

We live about 10 miles from DH's parents, but we're not against living further.  We just knew we wanted to move away from the middle of the country, and moving here was the easiest since it's where he grew up.  Now, though, we would live just about anywhere.  :lol:

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30 minutes, about 35 miles. She really is one of ds and my best friends. I'll have to move further for grad school, but once I get a job I can see us living together or maybe splitting a duplex, if I come back to this area.

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I live 40 miles but tends to be more like 60-90 minutes much of the time for driving. And that's only in the summer. She heads south in the winter.

 

I live in a major metro and feel like we'd need to live in a major metro no matter where our parents are. DH is less than 18, but we maybe average seeing them once a month and they head south for the winter most of the time too

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My parents moved away shortly after I got married. It's all very strange but instead of saying, "Let's spend more time together," my mom was upset that we didn't spend more time together, so she left in a huff. (2000 miles away that time.) Later it turned out there were anxiety issues and when she started taking medicines, she was back to normal.

 

I didn't really know all that until later and I mostly had to piece it together.

 

They moved back when they found out I was pregnant with their first grandchild.

 

Two and a half years later, 2 days after the 2nd grandchild was born, they announced they were leaving again. (2500 miles this time.) I really wasn't sure what the heck was going on and begged them to stay, but they'd already signed papers to buy a house with a friend of theirs.

 

Turns out the "friend" was narcisstic. She had moved close to my parents when they lived 2000 miles away, thinking they meant to stay there to be with her. They hadn't meant that at all. She was furious when they left to be with me and their new grandchild. So, somehow or other she wooed them to come back out west. But once they were there and living together she was just viciously mean--playing all sorts of head games with them, etc. The stories my mom finally told me (years afterwards) are just disturbing. They had to move away from her after about 2 years of misery. But they could move only across town because they couldn't do another trans-continental move. My mom asked her friend, "If you hated us so much, why did you want to live with us?" She said, "Because I wanted to make you move away from your daughter so you wouldn't be able to be with her."

 

It makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. I don't like to hate people, but I pretty much hate their friend. I'll only ever see my parents a handful of times in our lives (because none of us can afford another move) because of her.

 

What an ugly little story. I get very lonely for my parents They're the only blood family that I know. The rest are strangers to me. Blech. I wish with all my heart we only lived 18 miles away from each other.

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I don't know the exact mileage, but we live a little less than 2 hours away from my parents' farm and a bit over 7 hours from my IL's house.

 

My parents were high school sweethearts. I grew up living a short walk away from my dad's parents and 12 miles from my mom's. It was nice having them close by.

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We live about 3000 miles from my mom, DH's mom lives in another country (I've never met her).  I haven't lived close to my mom since high school, and haven't lived in the same state since I graduated from college.

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My parents moved away shortly after I got married. It's all very strange but instead of saying, "Let's spend more time together," she was upset that we didn't spend more time together, so she left in a huff. (2000 miles away that time.)

 

I didn't really know all that until later and I mostly had to piece it together.

 

They moved back when the found out I was pregnant with their first grandchild.

 

Two and a half years later, 2 days after the 2nd grandchild was born, they announced they were leaving again. (2500 miles this time.) I really wasn't sure what the heck was going on and begged them to stay, but they'd already signed papers to buy a house with a friend of theirs.

 

Turns out the "friend" was narcistic. She had moved close to my parents when they lived 2000 miles away, thinking they meant to stay there to be with her. They hadn't meant that at all. She was furious when they left. So, somehow or other she wooed them to come back out west. But once they were there and living together she was just viciously mean. They had to move away from her after about 2 years of misery. My mom said, "If you hated us so much, why did you want to live with us?" She said, "Because I wanted to make you move away from your daughter so you wouldn't be able to be with her."

 

It makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. I don't like to hate people, but I pretty much hate their friend. I'll only ever see my parents a handful of times (because none of us can afford another move) because of her.

 

What an ugly little story. I get very lonely for my parents They're the only blood family that I know. The rest are strangers to me. Blech. I wish with all my heart we only lived 18 miles away from each other.

:(

What a terrible person!  :glare:

 

This is going to sound really terrible in light of your story, but when DH and I first got married, my grandparents were about to retire and move to the same city we lived in.  I always knew they were going to move there when they retired, it wasn't anything new.  But then DH and I ended up deciding to move 2 months before they did, because - honestly - I didn't want to live in the same city as them as a newlywed.  

Now I think we could do it just fine.  But at the time, I was 18, they weren't used to me being independent yet.  I felt like they tried too hard to take care of me still, and they lived 3 hours away!  I just figured it would be a nightmare with them in the same city (even though it's a pretty sizable city).  

 

Sometimes it crosses my mind to move back there.  Cost of living was cheaper.  Family is there (mine, anyway).  There are more opportunities, it's bigger, more things to do.  DH could go to school and it not be an hour commute each way.  

 

But then I think about the life we've built here and the friends we have and stuff and I can't really imagine leaving just to leave.  If there was an incentive - a job or whatever - that'd be one thing.  But yeah.  And while my family is there, his is here, so....

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My mom lives about 3/4 of a mile, my son can walk over there, which is so nice.  He's actually there right now.  We're moving about 5 miles away after the break, and I'm looking forward to lots of things about the new place, but I'll miss having her so close.

 

 

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My mom has passed away, but she lived (and my dad still does live) about 200 miles away.

 

Losing her at age 72 made me wish it had not been so far.

 

 

 

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More than 3700 miles from my parents (putting me in >95th percentile), less than 1200 miles from my in-laws (putting my wife in >90th percentile).

 

Back when we were living in TX, more than 4900 miles from my parents and over 600 miles from my in-laws (only 450 miles from in-laws before they moved to Alabama).

 

The only time I've lived within 18 miles of either my in-laws or my parents was when I was living in their house.

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800 miles from my parents, 500 miles from MIL and 45 miles or so from FIL.

 

I would like it best if I could flip some of those around. We're working towards moving my parents out here (hopefully next year) but this distance is really becoming harder and harder as they age.

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4000+ miles. The trip takes 23 hour door-to-door.

I live in the Midwest of the USA. My entire extended family is in Germany. Ever.single.person. except DH and our kids.

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Opposite coasts. Not on purpose, though I definitely wouldn't want to move back west. She would move out here if she had the opportunity, though.

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My parents have 6 kids, and this is how they break down:

 

About 1.5 hour drive:  2 kids

About 30 minute drive:  1 kid

Bike riding distance:  2 kids

Walking distance:  1 kid

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I'm from WV. MOST of the educated kids HAVE to move away to find work. There just aren't many white collar jobs there. I actually landed very close to two of my cousins who moved to find work. We're 5 hours from my mom and 4 from DHs.

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2500

 

 

4000+ miles. The trip takes 23 hour door-to-door.

I live in the Midwest of the USA. My entire extended family is in Germany. Ever.single.person. except DH and our kids.

 

It would be a 40 hour drive for us for 2500, although we've only flown before.  I'm not sure you could do 4000 miles in 23 hours?

 

We did drive 1600 miles this summer to meet half way or so for a family reunion, and it took us about 26 hours of drive time (2.5-3 days one way total), which is about the time Map Quest said it would take.

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2500

 

It would be a 40 hour drive for us for 2500, although we've only flown before.  I'm not sure you could do 4000 miles in 23 hours?

 

We did drive 1600 miles this summer to meet half way or so for a family reunion, and it took us about 26 hours of drive time (3 days one way total), which is about the time Map Quest said it would take.

 

She's obviously flying... you cannot drive from the US to Europe last I checked.

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5-10 miles away.

We've chosen to stay here because of family. We've had 4 generations on both sides (now we're down to 3 generations) within an hour drive for our entire marriage.  We've helped care for dying grandparents. My in-laws have provided full time day care for my husband's sister and they're caring for her now that she has stage 4 cancer (her kids are 10 and 13.) My husband has no other siblings, so we'll take care of the in-laws.  My parents are divorced-they can't live together.  My in-laws, parents and step-dad are all in their early 70s and of the 5 of them, 2 are in poor health. I have 1 biological brother and 2 step-brothers locally.

 

The decrease in number of children affects elder care whether or not you think it's the family's job or the government's.  Fewer children growing up to pay into government funded programs for the elderly or fewer children caring for elderly parents directly out of their own resources will mean society is going to feel the burn as life expectancy continues to increase.  Add in the high divorce rate and you have to also account for caring for parents who cannot live together which is even more strain.  

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