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Moxie

How do you feel about aging?

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I'll admit, I'm terrified. The last thought in my head every night is "Sh!t, I'm going to be 40 next year". I see the older women around me struggle so much with weight and health issues. Plus, I'm so vain! I don't want wrinkles and gray hair! Ugh. Anyone else looking for the Fountain of Youth??

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Aging in the next few decades I'm not too worried about, but old age--past 80 or so--really looks like not a lot of fun.

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Overall, I love aging. I enjoy fairly decent health. I dress to make myself happy. I don't obsess about my lost youth. There are perks to being in the autumn of life.

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My perspective may not be as helpful as I hope it is....

 

My dad died at 47 and my mom at 55. For me, to rack up birthdays is a HUGE accomplishment. I'm 58--WooHoo!

 

So I'll take the gray hair--mine didn't turn gray until coming back after chemo. Thankfully I can color the hair.

I have skin that looks it's age--I've spent a majority of my life outside--but I can use good makeup to lessen the blow.

 

Weight gain--If I could tell my younger self a few things, one would be to get in shape in my 30s and stay in shape. I did a lot in my early 50s which helped me survived cancer treatments at 54-55. It's never too late to start being healthier.

 

One nice thing is we have a couple of nickels to rub together these days--I can spend on nicer clothes, hair color, and eye shadow.

 

I love who I am these days. I'm smarter and stronger (mentally, emotionally) than ever. I have a great marriage, good friends, and a challenging career. My sons are reasonably responsible adults. Life is good.

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I'm fine with aging. I'm not vain.  I'm embracing my gray hair and added wrinkles.  Really, what's the alternative?  Why be unhappy about a natural progress that is coming whether you fight it or not?

 

Aging does not have to come with weight and health issues.  Since turning 45 (almost 47 now), I've lost weight and gained health.

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I am 45.  I am vain.  It stinks.  I feel lousy compared to what I did 5, 10 years ago.

 

I color my hair.

 

I get filler injections in my laugh lines. 

 

Get your weight under control now because while I could easily lose at 40 I cannot seem to make the scale budge in a downward way at all now.

 

So yes, I get it.

 

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well, I'm in my 50's.  have lots of gray hair. (my dad was gray at 25) have a great stylist and do regular foils to hide/blend the gray.  I'm mostly comfortable with who I am as a person - I wouldn't want to redo my 30's.

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Turning 40 is awesome, there is a freedom that comes with it that is hard to explain. The physical aging? I colored my hair until last year (I'm 48). I took care of my complexion when I was young and I don't have too many wrinkles, but am treating some age spots. I still dress the way I want, I have not converted to grandma clothing (whatever you think that is) just because I'm in my 40s. 

 

I will admit 47+ has been harder with feeling like I'm moving slower, but I'm around younger college students most days and keep up. 

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I am OK with looking my age (now 49).  I am not so sure about losing my abilities.  I know it's inevitable, but I'm not ready to accept not being able to read, hear, move, or maybe even think the way I used to.

 

I worry some about getting old and not being able to take care of myself or manage my money etc.

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My 35th birthday was super hard for me. After that,it really isn't a big deal. I wouldn't want to go back, but I would like time to stand still for a while. I love the ages of my kids. I love that I am almost 40 in a weird sort of way. I don't stress what people think about me, but I don't like the bags under my eyes, lol

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I am 47 and feel fine about it. I don't see what the big deal is about 40 or 50 or even 60. Most of the people in my circle of friends are fit and healthy and have no weight problems. Grey hair is no big deal. My mom greyed gracefully, and I am in the process of  doing the same. I have a dear colleague who is 78 or 79 and still teaching and researching and mentoring a sorority.

 

As for really old age, I hope I dodge the bullet and avoid dementia or crippling long drawn out illness.

My grandmothers both lived healthy productive lives well into their nineties. One grandma did all the household chores and shopping, on foot, for our family until she was 93; my other grandma worked in her home business giving pedicures into her mid-eighties. My mom is in her mid seventies, travels, is fit, reads widely and attends cultural events.

So, I feel that I have a decent chance for a good old age. If I develop the aformentioned issues, I hope I will have a timely mountaineering accident.

Edited by regentrude
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I'm fine with aging. I'm not vain.  I'm embracing my gray hair and added wrinkles.  Really, what's the alternative?  Why be unhappy about a natural progress that is coming whether you fight it or not?

 

Aging does not have to come with weight and health issues.  Since turning 45 (almost 47 now), I've lost weight and gained health.

 

^^^ This right here. ^^^ Well, except for the gray hair. I still get it colored and highlighted, but have been thinking about stopping that.

 

I turned 60 in October. Sometimes, when I think of that number I'm shocked at how old I actually am. That once seemed so old to me, and now it doesn't feel old. Oh yes, I have more aches and pains than I once did, but I've had chronic back pain since I was in my 40's so I'm used to it. I move a bit slower in the morning but I'm still relatively healthy. 

 

I hope I have at least 20 more years of life left. 

 

Barring serious health issues, aging is only a problem if you think it is. 

Edited by Lady Florida
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I have similar thoughts.  My mother died at 49.  My sister is younger than me and is in very poor health. 

 

 

My perspective may not be as helpful as I hope it is....

 

My dad died at 47 and my mom at 55. For me, to rack up birthdays is a HUGE accomplishment. I'm 58--WooHoo!

 

So I'll take the gray hair--mine didn't turn gray until coming back after chemo. Thankfully I can color the hair.

I have skin that looks it's age--I've spent a majority of my life outside--but I can use good makeup to lessen the blow.

 

Weight gain--If I could tell my younger self a few things, one would be to get in shape in my 30s and stay in shape. I did a lot in my early 50s which helped me survived cancer treatments at 54-55. It's never too late to start being healthier.

 

One nice thing is we have a couple of nickels to rub together these days--I can spend on nicer clothes, hair color, and eye shadow.

 

I love who I am these days. I'm smarter and stronger (mentally, emotionally) than ever. I have a great marriage, good friends, and a challenging career. My sons are reasonably responsible adults. Life is good.

 

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I seemed to start going downhill with my health at 41.  It's been a rough 4 years and I just ended up with a hysterectomy last week (got to keep my ovaries, so we'll see how that goes).  I got my first pair of glasses last week, too.  Sigh.  I don't think aging is for sissies.

The women who seem to age best are those who exercise and eat well.  I am going to focus on doing those 2 things in the new year.  I'm 45- closer to 50 now than I am to 40.  I do think we have some control over some of the things that happen to our bodies.   

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I'm 44 and the physical side of aging doesn't bother me...much. The inability to lose weight the way I did even 4 years ago sucks. What really concerns me is knowing I don't have a career in place for when my kids are grown, and I WILL need one after taking all this time off work to educate them. With that, the understanding that I don't necessarily have time to completely "start over" and become whatever I want to become.

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I'm 52.  My weight is fine, my health/energy is fine, I've never colored the grey (I do consider it sometimes, can't quite sign on to the time commitment), only wear makeup a few times a year for special events.  I don't particularly feel like I'm Fighting The War That Cannot Be Won as some people -- well, some women -- I know do feel.

 

I'm a lot wiser, a lot less self-conscious, and a lot... softer? more flexible? less rigid in my thinking?...  than I was when I was younger, so I put all that in the PLUS column.  And we have more financial resources, and flexibility viz. older kids, to do fun/interesting things.

 

 

But I do think American society values youth over wisdom, and it's disconcerting to be on the downhill side of that dynamic.

 

And I definitely concur with maize and SKL that thinking of "aging" at 40 or 50 is different than thinking of it at 80+, or whenever significant disability / death of peers / financial concerns kick in.  Those concerns loom large.

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 What really concerns me is knowing I don't have a career in place for when my kids are grown, and I WILL need one after taking all this time off work to educate them. 

 

This may make you feel better. I've continued to work full-time since my DC were born (DH became a SAHD) and I'm trying to plan for what I'm going to do once the DC are grown and I'm able to stop working.  The happiest retirees have a strong network of friends and purposeful activities.  These are things that I've let slide during the hectic work and raise family years and will require time and attention to build.  

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The only time I really think about it is when I get carded for buying beer at the store. By college students. Who are the same age or younger than my kids would be if we'd had kids right after getting married. I find that embarrassing.

 

I do color my gray. I have long hair and I love the natural color. I intend to keep that for a long time yet, though I don't obsess about it. I'm 43, a bit of gray looks right I guess.

 

I have noticed recently that I'm terrible about guessing other people's ages. Sometimes I'll see a picture in a magazine, say, and think, " huh, she looks pretty good for late 40s", and then the article will state she's 23. That freaks me out. I don't identify with "middle age" or any of that nonsense, I still feel really young.

 

(I think I get that from my parents. My dad is turning 80 and talks about "the elderly" like the term could never apply to himself. He's right though, he's anything but. Age really is just a number. And a mindset)

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The gray hair wouldn't bother me so much if it were just the color changing. I didn't expect the texture of my hair to change too—I don't like the fuzzy little wisps. I don't have much gray yet but am not looking forward to whatever is going to happen to my hair as more comes in gray.

 

 

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DH and I find humor in our "growing old together"   However, I make efforts to exercise, eat good, read and learn.   Aging does not bother me.   

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I don't really feel anything about aging. I think I'll worry about that later, when I'm old or something. Right now, I've got better things to do, like teasing my wife who'll turn 40 next year and is oversensitive about it. ;) (She was also oversensitive about turning 30 - and I think we can probably keep this going indefinitely - she tried to tease me when I turned 30, and I was like, so what? - Being 8 years younger seems to be really useful in not caring about getting older, lol).

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I'm okay with aging.  I'll be 53 in a few weeks.

 

I'm not vain at all, but I do get my hair colored because it makes me happy to have shiny, healthy looking hair.  Wrinkles don't really bother me.

 

After a few years of not-so-good (but not horrible) health, I'm now leaner and stronger than I have been in decades.  I weigh less than I did when I got pregnant with DS20.

 

I think I'm a lot wiser now than even just a few years ago.  I know what's worthy of stressing over and what's not, and I can let go of what's not.  Which is most things. ;)

 

We're financially stable.  There's enough to spend a bit here and there on whatever we want w/o worrying about a budget.

 

For the first time in many years I have time for me.  And I really like that.

 

I certainly don't look forward to health issues (physical or especially mental) and frailty and things like that.  But I exercise and eat right to do what I can to stave those things off as long as possible.  Beyond that -- I'm not going to waste any of what is turning out to be a very good phase of life right now fretting over what I can't control.

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I hate it. It is depressing. I never really thought much about it until I had ovarian cancer in my mid 40s and had everything removed. Seems I have aged 20 years in the last 4. I am still pretty healthy and in good shape fitness-wise. But I know now that everything there was to look forward to is in the past. I am too old to dream and actually expect them to come true. I have already raised my kids, basically (the best years of my life!); I will never be skinny and beautiful, I will only get older and uglier; I will never live on a farm, or in the country with a stream and woods on my property; I will never travel and see the U.S., let alone the world; I will never be rich, or even very comfortable money-wise; I will never be a singer or a writer or an artist. Yes. It is depressing. That is why I try not to think about it. 

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I think I'm a lot wiser now than even just a few years ago.  I know what's worthy of stressing over and what's not, and I can let go of what's not.  Which is most things. ;)

 

We're financially stable.  There's enough to spend a bit here and there on whatever we want w/o worrying about a budget.

 

For the first time in many years I have time for me.  And I really like that.

 

 

 

Oh my, yes. All of this. 

 

Few things are worth stressing over. Few things are worth drama.

 

When dh's company dissolved, then a new company got the contract we weren't sure if he'd be forced into early retirement. Fortunately he wasn't but we had to work with a financial planner to get things in order. I feel good now about what our retirement years will look like when he does retire.

 

I'm trying to decide what to do with my time now that I'm no longer homeschooling. Dh hopes to retire in 2 years so I don't want to go back to work just as he's coming home, but I don't want to sit around and do nothing either. Right now I'm enjoying time to read long books and classics I never read. It's great to have time for such things.

Edited by Lady Florida
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Honestly, at 56 yo, I embrace my age. I take advantage of the senior discount whenever I can. 

 

I have never been one to care much about physical appearance, but I do wish that I had some gray hair, because I feel like I've earned it. 

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I like youth as much as the next person and am not looking forward to my health going downhill someday (I've had w preview and it sucks) but age, itself, doesn't really bother me. I am looking forward to the perspective and wisdom and working to keep my body in good shape to enjoy it. I have had a few grays sprout up the last few years and am getting some laugh lines around my eyes, and more of that isn't going to kill me.

 

It's tough to say now because I still look young. I feel older than I am but a fair number of my friends are only *just* marrying or settling into careers. So it skews my perspective somewhat. I feel older but I'm not old yet :)

Edited by Arctic Mama

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We all age!   As the old line goes, what's the alternative?  We can do the best we can to stay as healthy and fit as possible, but we can't stop the aging process.  I should be doing more myself.

 

I'll be 60 in a few months so my perspective a little different from that of a person who is dreading 40.  LOL.  If that sounded snippy, I didn't mean it to.  I don't feel as old as I think 60 should feel, if that makes sense.  I think having had my kids late in life makes a difference.  Sometimes it seems like my birth certificate was wrong and it should say 1966 instead of 1956.  OK it doesn't really seem that way, but I just don't feel that old.

 

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I'll be 60 in a few months so my perspective a little different from that of a person who is dreading 40.  LOL.  If that sounded snippy, I didn't mean it to.  I don't feel as old as I think 60 should feel, if that makes sense.  I think having had my kids late in life makes a difference.  Sometimes it seems like my birth certificate was wrong and it should say 1966 instead of 1956.  OK it doesn't really seem that way, but I just don't feel that old.

 

Yes to this too. I could have written it all, including the late in life baby. Change the years to 1965 vs.1955 and it's my post. I really do sometimes find it weird to realize how old I am because 1. I don't feel like I always thought 60 should feel. 2. I continued to think 60 was old all the way up until I reached my mid-50s.

 

As others said, what's the alternative? Don't put value on wrinkle-free looks or hair that isn't gray. Don't let youth culture take away your value, but don't romanticize the past either and give in to "kids today" or "back when I was your age" thinking. Embrace the wisdom you've acquired that only comes with age and experience. Yes, there really is some wisdom that only comes with age. Enjoy reminiscing but don't think that because some life events are over that all the good times were in the past. Look forward to new things that are privileges of being older, and to having fewer responsibilities. Don't ignore the fact that we're all mortal but don't dwell on it either.

 

If you can do all of the above, aging will not seem so bad and might even bring new joys.

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Fine.  I'm slimmer and fitter than I was ten years ago.  Nothing wrong with grey and wrinkles - it's who I am and how long I have lived.

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Guest

I wasn't afraid of it and looked forward to being like Maud in Harold and Maud.

 

Now that it's here, I'm more like Beezie Maddox ("Mom" O'Keefe) in Madeleiene L'Engle's Time Quintet.

 

'sokay; it beats the alternatives and I've got a late life baby I don't want to leave all alone in 2016.

 

My health is relatively good even though my appearance makes people show their ugly, rude, bigoted side. It's not exactly a bad thing to know better than to waste my time, money, and energy on ugly, rude, bigoted people, though.

 

I guess I can live with being a grumpy old curmudgeon; even if Dennys is right about her heart, remember that it was herself she placed between us and the powers of darkness.

 

*edited, as all of my posts are, because that fixes the formatting that doesn't work the first time without executing the javascript I don't particularly want to execute; thanks for letting me use the forum without having to, SWB.

Edited by Guest

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I don't mind how I look as I get older but I don't like seeing my age go up in numbers, and I'm really afraid of health issues. I'll  be 48 next month and all I can think of is how close I am to a new decade. I stopped enjoying birthdays at age 21.

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I'm fine with aging other than the health issues. There's heart disease and dementia on my side of the family, so that's a concern.

 

I had my last baby at 40, so she keeps me young (now an 11th grader).

 

I dye my hair because my gray is too wirey and wild. Although I'm not exactly "slim and fit," I go to the gym 5x a week for weights/cardio/Pilates and eat well. The wrinkles don't bother me at all.

 

I don't want to be a grumpy old lady who gives people a hard time.

 

My goal is to keep working and stay active as long as possible!

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I'm older than most of the moms in our homeschool support group. I started going gray early (thanks, Mom!). 

 

Gravity is stronger as you age. It takes longer to recover when you get sick.

 

But ....

 

I don't care so much about what people think. I say, kindly, what I mean or think. Seriously, I care much less about what people think. 

 

I've always been frank. I'm more so now. I find people coming and asking me for advice. I find that people are asking me to lead things because they know I will stand up for what I believe in and not crumble. And I will keep people on the path and not be distracted. If you want to know something straight up, ask me. If you don't want to know, don't ask. 

 

I've had older (think 70s) ladies ask me if I am my children's grandmother (I had my kids later in life). I cheerfully tell them I am their mother. Age adds some freedom.

 

I'm actually looking forward to getting older. At my first job I worked with this super cool older lady. She was interested in people and would ask the nosy questions, and because she was a nice white-haired lady, people answered her questions and talked frankly and openly with her. I want to be that old lady!

 

Getting old is a fact of life. You can't hide from it. It happens. You can't lose weight as easily. You aren't as physically attractive as you were when you were younger. You probably don't have the physical stamina you used to. You may have aches and pains. Things sag.

 

Whatever. Do what you can to stay healthy and in shape. But embrace the change for there is naught you can do to stop it. 

 

Live for today. Plan for tomorrow. Remember yesterday with joy, but look forward to tomorrow. 

 

Getting old is not evil. 

 

Yes, I sound like a fortune cookie!

Edited by Bambam
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I am fine so far with aging...but I'm (only?) mid-30s. I have lots (lots!) of gray hair. I got a huge gray stripe in high school, so I've already had plenty of time to embrace that. I did color for a while. I lost enthusiasm for the time/money commitment to that though, especially after I met (future) DH and he admitted he preferred me not doing it.

I threw my back out after our second kiddo and have had back pain off and on since. I don't love that, but it is what it is and I expect it will only get worse as years go by.

My aging worries have more to do with things that pop up later. Alzheimer's run in my family and in DH's. That's a scary thought. We have a lot of family with cancer. 

At any rate, like others said, growing old sure beats the alternative.

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I have mixed feelings.  The wrinkles and gray hair don't bother me much.  (actually, I LIKE my gray...the dry wrinkly skin, not so much).  However, I don't like the feeling that I'm in the middle of my lifespan, especially when the first half seems to have gone by so quickly.  I don't like the aches and pains either.  

I DO like feeling more sure of myself and that I don't have all the angst of my youth..lol.

A big issue I'm having right now, is that I'm quickly approaching the age that my mother was when she died.  She was diagnosed with cancer shortly before her 41st birthday.  I'm turning 40 in April.  My hypochondria is kicking in.  

Edited by The Girls' Mom

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Oh bring it on, I say. I'll probably like it better than being young.

 

You'll probably like some aspects of it better than being young. 

 

The physical decline is tricky. 

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Guest

I wanted to share my best friend's dementia blog with those of you who have Alzheimer's in the family:

 

https://stilllifewithdementia.wordpress.com/

 

She is (still) someone who has always had wise advice about hard situations and I hope that her words will help you understand what your relatives are going through and make it easier to communicate with them and enjoy the time you have together.

 

/threadjack

Edited by Guest
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I LOVE getting older. I am nearly 46. I feel better mentally and emotionally than ever before. Physically I feel almost exactly the same as I ever have - I get a tiny bit of joint pain occasionally. I took up running 10 years ago and I ran a 12K on Sunday with one of my best friends. On Monday I took the GRE - I'm planning to go to grad school next year when my last homeschooler enters PS. I love life. Every year is a gift. When I talk to much younger people, I can see how much knowledge and wisdom the extra years have given me.

 

I'm not a huge fan of Cher's music per se, but I love her attitude! I want to be the grandma living an adventurous life: http://www.9news.com/story/entertainment/2014/05/29/cher-in-denver-dressed-to-kill/9742893/

 

"What's your grandma doing tonight?" :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Edited by NorthwestMom
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For the most part I would say, I embrace today and don't fear tomorrow.

 

My husband has been disabled by chronic Lyme disease for 15 years. A lot of dreams died at first, and a lot of fears crept in. We felt the weight of "aging" punch us in the gut. Some years I felt I aged a decade in a single year. Some days I felt hopeless about the future. It's made me realize several things:

 

We don't have tomorrow. We only have today. Enjoy and make the most of today.

 

Worry and fear steal our joy, and most of our worries and fears are based only on imagined things, not reality. Many never come to pass, or don't come to pass in the way we feared. I love how Matthew 6:34 puts it: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

 

Early in our marriage, my husband and I decided to make a commitment to ending strong when faced with a challenge. To not give up early or say, "well, it's almost over so it doesn't really matter." Endings matter.

 

There are new dreams to enjoy together, and new hopes that may or may not be fulfilled. We can hope and dream together.

 

Each day is precious--don't let little things get in the way.

 

I hope to have grandchildren! I dream about reading to them. 

 

I believe everything happens for a reason, and that God can bring good out of terrible circumstances. I've seen him do that time and again. My life is in his hands. If I get to live a long life, or if I have years of trouble, I hope my life will honor Christ. My family has the whole gambit--my father died at age 36 with kidney disease, after years of dialysis. One grandma had heart disease and died reading her Bible--it was open to, "prepare yourselves for the last days." If I could choose, that's how I'd die some day! None of us knows the future though, whether we have long life or short, a life of pain or a life of relative ease, I hope to live it well. 

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I'm down with it.

 

Aging doesn't really worry or concern me at all.  Granted... I'm 33.  So I've got a lot of years left, hopefully.  

 

I think being raised by my grandparents made me not see aging as something scary.  My grandma was 43 when I was born and she had salt and pepper hair.  Now her hair is pure white.  She's never worn makeup, she's always been a little on the 'fluffier' side, but she's always been active and healthy and beautiful.  Now she's 76 and she and my grandpa still do a lot of stuff; Grandpa can't walk as far as he used to, but they have season passes to Silver Dollar City and they are out and about a lot.  He still works part time, not because he needs to, but because he's from the era where you started working on the farm when you were a kid and you kept working your whole life, so he gets super bored if he doesn't have anything.   :)

 

So I guess I see them, and my great-grandmother who was still living independently and whose mind was sharp as a tack until the day she died in 2002, and  aging doesn't look bad to me.  I know that not everyone ages so well, but my guess is that I come from good stock.   :D

 

 

 

eta: I left out my mom, who was more frail at 45 than either of my grandparents are now, but it was a result of her lifestyle.  She died at age 51 from it.  So I also am a firm believer that in some cases (not all), how you live your life greatly affects how you age.

Edited by PeacefulChaos

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I'll admit, I'm terrified. The last thought in my head every night is "Sh!t, I'm going to be 40 next year". I see the older women around me struggle so much with weight and health issues. Plus, I'm so vain! I don't want wrinkles and gray hair! Ugh. Anyone else looking for the Fountain of Youth??

But 40 is still so young!!! (Hey, somebody had to say it. :D)

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But ....

 

I don't care so much about what people think. I say, kindly, what I mean or think. Seriously, I care much less about what people think.

 

I've always been frank. I'm more so now. I find people coming and asking me for advice. I find that people are asking me to lead things because they know I will stand up for what I believe in and not crumble. And I will keep people on the path and not be distracted. If you want to know something straight up, ask me. If you don't want to know, don't ask.

 

I've had older (think 70s) ladies ask me if I am my children's grandmother (I had my kids later in life). I cheerfully tell them I am their mother. Age adds some freedom.

 

I'm actually looking forward to getting older. At my first job I worked with this super cool older lady. She was interested in people and would ask the nosy questions, and because she was a nice white-haired lady, people answered her questions and talked frankly and openly with her. I want to be that old lady!

 

Getting old is a fact of life. You can't hide from it. It happens. You can't lose weight as easily. You aren't as physically attractive as you were when you were younger. You probably don't have the physical stamina you used to. You may have aches and pains. Things sag.

 

Whatever. Do what you can to stay healthy and in shape. But embrace the change for there is naught you can do to stop it.

 

Live for today. Plan for tomorrow. Remember yesterday with joy, but look forward to tomorrow.

 

Getting old is not evil.

 

Yes, I sound like a fortune cookie!

YAAAASSSS! Lol. I am so looking forward to being old enough to vent my spleen with impunity. 😂 . My grandma is in her 90s. My great grandparents lived that long too. My aunts/uncles are in their 70s. Even my dad turned 70 this year, so it'll be a while before it's my turn. Still, I remember being in awe of my senior citizen grandmother using her golf clubs to hit piles of poop back into the yard of an offending neighbor, daring them to complain. She'd get this look on her face like, who did what? me?!? I want hutzpah like that. Man, it was impressive! Nobody messes with little old ladies and playing stupid is a breeze!

Edited by Sneezyone
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If I look back at family members, I am most like my great-grandmother, and she died suddenly of a heart attack at age 62.  And she looks really old in her pictures.  That's only 4 years away for me!

 

I don't look as old as she did but I can easily imagine a death like hers, and it was a good one.  She was happy.  She had her own house.  Her daughter lived in the flat upstairs with her BIL and two grandchildren.  Her friends and church were within walking distance.  When she died, she was writing a letter to a German friend, and as she wrote "Man proposes but God disposes" she fell over dead.  (That's a Northern European saying that she was writing in German at the time.)  What a great way to go!

 

But I'm not ready to go just yet.

 

I don't have grandchildren.  Have to wait for those!

 

How I feel about aging is, I want to prepare financially and also emotionally.  I want to have and maintain ties with friends and family.  I want to be able to pay my own way without being terrified.  I want to live in a decent place that is not hard on the elderly.

 

What I fear is becoming frail and living that way for years and years.  I think my frailty tolerance is about 3-4 years (I know I can't control that, but to the extent that I can, I will.)  So what really really scares me is the idea that I could suffer a major health downturn much earlier than necessary, like a few years back when I had crippling PF for several years and thought I was going to be stuck with it forever, maybe for 40 years more.  So those are the things I pay the most attention to--the debilitating health downturns that I would have to live with for a long time.  So far, by the grace of God, I have turned around 3 of them, and I'm working on the obesity one now. 

 

Next year is my year to get healthy.  Not just better, but WELL.

 

I have changed to better medical insurance and set up a HCRA, and ordered stretching DVDs.  I'm going for it!

Edited by Carol in Cal.
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I turn 29 tomorrow, and I'm definitely having a whole lot of angst about the whole aging thing. I'm not sure it's as much of an appearance issue, though that definitely plays a factor, as much as watching my twenties close and not having achieved what I thought I would by now.

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