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MedicMom

CPS just showed up...

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That is horrible!

 

It sickens me that the teachers didn't even bother to ask you about the bruise before jumping to a ridiculous conclusion and calling CPS.

 

I am so sorry this is happening to you!!! :(

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Hugs to you. Could her pediatrician exam it and verify the origination is a bug bite? Not sure if that's possible but maybe?

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Oh, I'm so sorry :( that is terribly stressful, kids mark and bruise so easily.

 

My three year old went to preschool about a month ago with what looked like a horrible black eye. I told the teachers that I wasn't sure what had happened but thought he might have hit it on something the day before; he had just woken up with it swollen. I was worried they would call CPS on me.

 

It was even worse the next day so I took him to the dr., who diagnosed a mosquito bite. Fortunately the folks at preschool had already seen something similar before because they told me they had thought it was a bite when I told them what the dr. said.

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Wait. She had a BRUISE on her arm, and the preschool teachers called CPS???

 

What the hell?

It's on her upper thigh. It's clearly got a small insect bite mark and the bruising is around it.

 

I am a mandated reporter and make a hotline call once a week. I would never hotline this.

 

Plus I am really pissed because the reporter stated I spanked her. They had to put that into her mind while questioning her because she has never been spanked and wouldn't know to say that.

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And yet there are kids out there who are beaten so badly for a prolonged time & they 'get' to stay with their guardians....and sometimes they die at the hands of them too.

 

This is ridiculous.  Don't all kids have a bruise now & then???  I would be pulling her out of that preschool - that is a horrible accusation.  I am so sorry!!

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WHAT?!?!

 

Far out. I'm so sorry. That is, just, the last thing you guys need!

 

Cps would live here if someone called for every bruise!

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I was trepidatious a few weeks ago because my son had  two black eyes. When I asked him about them, it turns out he was playing a game called "close your eyes and run straight ahead as fast as you can." So, his face got acquainted with the reefer handles :smash:  Then later that day both kids were riding their bikes with their eyes closed. 

 

Kids are hard enough! CPS calls like this? man. Plumb ridiculous. I can't imagine that every kid in that preschool doesn't get bruises all the time!

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If you know that your dd bruises easily and there is a file started, it would be useful to get a letter from your doctor showing your dd's bruising (this time and in general) being caused by bug bites. Also, inform dd's teachers and other activity leaders that she bruises easily. Your dd may sustain bruising outside the home in different activities, but potentially have it blamed on something you've done in your home.

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My daughter banged her head somehow on her bed last night. I saw the start of bruising on the edge of her eye then and forgot to tell her preK teacher this morning. Now I'm concerned!

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I would take her to the doctor today to get documentation for the bite. I would also send them a copy of your son's diagnosis before they observe him. I think (obviously it's just my opinion) that it would be easier for them to watch him with an open mind if they see the diagnosis.

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That is ridiculous.  They didn't ask you first?  They just assumed you spanked her too hard?  What the heck?!?!  My now 7 year old started (public) kindergarten with a black eye.  The Saturday before school started we were at a friend's house and they had a trampoline.  My husband was out there with the kids and absolutely no one had any idea when or how Adrian fell and got that black eye.  He didn't cry or anything.  When he got off the trampoline his eye was swelling up and just underneath was a little cut.  Adrian didn't know how it happened either.  He had been having lots of fun.  When I picked him up from his first day I told his teacher what happened.  She said he was certainly an active little guy.  One day of school had taught her that.  She wasn't even fazed by it.  A few months later the school nurse told me they quickly understood why Adrian started school with a black eye.  In September he fell off a chair in his classroom and hit his head hard enough to go to the doctor.  In October he fell off something and got a huge bruise on his arm.  In November he fell (see a pattern here?) and hit the corner of a desk and got another black eye.  There were other incidents, too.  Every time he fell and hit his head they had to send the "things to watch for" paper home in his folder.  One month I got one a week.  But I was so worried they would call CPS over that first black eye.  There had been many people at my friend's house so we had a whole bunch of witnesses just in case.  Luckily his teacher had been teaching almost 3 decades and had already seen it all.

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Oh goodness... I saw your thread and thought did that awful neighbor make a complaint again? But no, just an awful daycare worker.

 

I agree, get a letter from her pediatrician, give a copy to the daycare, and frankly I would complain to the owner or manager.  They are not trained to interview children and should not be putting words like spanking into their mouths.  THAT can be abusive.

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I called her pediatrician who laughed and said she'd deal with it. I also gave them two state troopers and one county sheriff as references. The sheriff is DD's best friend's dad who is very familiar with DD and how easily she bruises. I am sure it will be unfounded but now we are under scrutiny for 60 days.

 

I honestly just need this year to end.

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So sorry! A dear friend had to deal with similar recently. She also had a newborn and it seemed they were trying to convince her she had ppd and "didn't remember" hurting her child. Thankfully, it all worked out, and I'm sure your situation will also. But I know that doesn't help the terrified feeling in the meantime.

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I called her pediatrician who laughed and said she'd deal with it. I also gave them two state troopers and one county sheriff as references. The sheriff is DD's best friend's dad who is very familiar with DD and how easily she bruises. I am sure it will be unfounded but now we are under scrutiny for 60 days.

 

I honestly just need this year to end.

What a nightmare! I'm so sorry. I'm glad to hear you contacted the ped and she's going to follow up. My younger kids always have a lot of leg bruises when I take them in for Summer dr appointments (lots of bike riding, playground playing, etc), and their ped always says it's a good sign they're getting lots of active play. I hope this is over with fast and they dismiss it without even having to do all that follow up. That's ridiculous for a leg bruise in a kid with no other red flags.

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I would go on the warpath about that.  I would contact media outlets and get the word out there that false and ridiculous investigations occur, explaining your side of the story.  

 

Sounds like you are actively gathering people to help you.  I'm glad they will help. 

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I am so glad you are being helped. I'd definitely go to the school's principal, that's messed up!

ETA: we had CPS involved years ago when our son broke his leg and we were blamed. It's very stressful. I hope it's over with sooner than 60 days :(

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It's on her upper thigh. It's clearly got a small insect bite mark and the bruising is around it.

 

I am a mandated reporter and make a hotline call once a week. I would never hotline this.

 

Plus I am really pissed because the reporter stated I spanked her. They had to put that into her mind while questioning her because she has never been spanked and wouldn't know to say that.

 

 

Ugh.  I'm really sorry you're going through this.  I'm sure it will end well - CPS sees so many truly abused kids that they can tell the difference, kwim?  But I know this has to be incredibly stressful to you right now... Not to mention that I would be fairly angry with the lack of communication of concerns before going to CPS.  :(   I'm so sorry.

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I'm so so sorry. This is beyond wrong. I have no words. Yeah, I know that there are kids who need adults to intervene in order for them to be safe. But come on!!!!    

 

:grouphug:

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So sorry! I can't imagine the stress that you are feeling.

 

Everything happens for a reason, though, so I am sure it will work out for the best. (just kidding! ....from another thread!!!)

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I am so sorry.  This is just ridiculous. 

 

One more example of why we need to overhaul the whole reporting business.  On the one hand you get people using it to settle scores (and otherwise cause trouble for people), on the other you get people who call for every bruise because they are too lazy to do a little thinking about whether or not something looks like abuse or like just a bruise, and then you get people who are stupid -which is what this is.  The person who called is STUPID.  A bug bite is round.  How does spanking a kid, with a hand or other instrument, result in a small, round bruise?  It doesn't. 

 

All of this to say, you need a new daycare.  Whoever called is either out to get you for some reason, or far too stupid to live, much less be in charge of children.  Either way, not a safe space for your children.

 

FWIW, I would consider not further cooperating with their investigation. They can keep their file open until the end of time if they want to.  That doesn't obligate you.  You've given references, allowed them to view and interview the child in question, and are sending a doctor's note.  That's more than enough and I would tell them so.  You are under no obligation to submit to surveillance "just in case".

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I honestly just need this year to end.

 

I'm so sorry. I don't blame you. I'd be looking for new daycare in 65 days. Anyone who thinks I beat my kids and would say something like that isn't someone I'd ever be able to visit twice a day at pick up and drop off for my dog, much less my kid. How scary.

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It's a three day a week preschool. It's the only private preschool locally and she loves it but we may have to pull her.

 

I strongly suspect it is just overzealous reporting. I've sat through the state child abuse classes and they aren't that good. It's a young the her who probably freaked out at the sight of a bruise. It is an odd shape, like oblong, but even the CPS worker said it looks nothing like a spanking bruise and is in a strange spot.

 

Now that the shock has worn off a bit I am totally humiliated. A teacher at the same daycare but a different class was buying my couch and supposed to pick it up tonight. She just messaged me and said she didn't want it anymore. And two other friends at the daycare unfriended me. It's a small town and word will get around.

 

Honesty.

I can't even kill a spider much less put my hands on my kids.

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Please PM me if you want. Try not to panic. When my twins were 17 days old CPS in the form of two police officers showed up. Long story short: my mom had been complaining to friends about my "vicious" dogs and her friend must have made the call.

 

It was so horrible for a new mom with tiny babies -- and three super friendly dogs (but I digress). Within three minutes the police figured out that this was an overly worried person who made the call and politely left. They couldn't have been nicer.

 

I'm not saying that your situation will go as smoothly, but I didn't want you to feel embarrassed or ashamed. This nonsense has happened to plenty of good, decent people. (The three dogs died in their elderly years never having hurt anybody.)

 

If things don't correct fairly quickly, I personally would consult a lawyer. But again PM me if you'd like to "talk." Hang in there. This isn't you. It's people who completely misread the situation. Not cool on their part.

 

Alley

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It's on her upper thigh. It's clearly got a small insect bite mark and the bruising is around it.

 

I am a mandated reporter and make a hotline call once a week. I would never hotline this.

 

Plus I am really pissed because the reporter stated I spanked her. They had to put that into her mind while questioning her because she has never been spanked and wouldn't know to say that.

 

Take close up photographs immediately while the bite mark is still showing.

 

 

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Don't feel humiliated! It's not your fault other people are stupid. And if it really is a small town you know they'll be gossiping about someone else next month. This *will* blow over. It really will.

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Now that the shock has worn off a bit I am totally humiliated. A teacher at the same daycare but a different class was buying my couch and supposed to pick it up tonight. She just messaged me and said she didn't want it anymore. And two other friends at the daycare unfriended me. It's a small town and word will get around.

 

 

This is exactly what happened to me. I went into shock and then into horrendous shame (partially because my ditzy mom was so involved). Guilt and shame are in place if you've done something wrong.

 

You haven't done anything wrong.

 

I hope you can replace shame with getting through this situation. And, then, yes, I would get a new daycare. (I know this sounds silly, but pick a song to hum when you're feeling down like I Will Survive.)

 

Alley

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Oh no. How awful. The actions of the teacher confirm I'd pull my kid as soon as I could. The teacher and those supposed friends on FB are butt nuggets you don't need in your life and your little one needs even less.

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So not only is someone an overzealous reporter, they are gossiping about all of this??? Disgusting.

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Now that the shock has worn off a bit I am totally humiliated. A teacher at the same daycare but a different class was buying my couch and supposed to pick it up tonight. She just messaged me and said she didn't want it anymore. And two other friends at the daycare unfriended me. It's a small town and word will get around.

 

 

 

First off, don't be ashamed.  That's how this whole system works to abuse people with nutty investigations.  The shame people into silence and so they keep getting away with it.  You want to know something?  This has happened to about 80% of the people I know, myself included.  I bet it's happened to a lot of people you know, too.  We just don't talk about it, because we're all shamed into silence.  And so they get away with it.

 

The teacher messaging you and the two friends unfriending you that quickly suggests to me that there is more to this than overzealous reporting.  If they reported "just in case", they wouldn't tell people, because they would be hoping they were wrong.  Instead, someone is spreading rumors about you.  The question is...why?  Answer..don't care, but now you know it's not a safe place for your family.  You should just not take the kids back there, at all, and lodge a complaint with the owner of the place and let them know that you will be telling everyone what has happened and that this place is not safe. 

 

Do not be ashamed.  Be pissed.  Time for offense.

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And yet there are kids out there who are beaten so badly for a prolonged time & they 'get' to stay with their guardians....and sometimes they die at the hands of them too.

 

This is ridiculous.  Don't all kids have a bruise now & then???  I would be pulling her out of that preschool - that is a horrible accusation.  I am so sorry!!

 

Yes, seriously.   It's a constant state of affairs with multiple kids...esp. when they're learning how to walk or have older sibs who like the "help" mommy.

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So not only is someone an overzealous reporter, they are gossiping about all of this??? Disgusting.

I agree... that is awful.

 

I'm so sorry MedicMom. 

 

Don't' be humilitated... speak up.   This is a time when social media might be your friend.

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