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What things do some homeschoolers do to give us a bad name?


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I understand the point of this thread, but if we are getting things off our chest about homeschoolers, I would like to contribute the following:

 

Complaining constantly about public school teachers, policies, common core, etc.  I know we all homeschool for our own reasons, and whatever that is, there is probably no need to constantly berate public school kids and their situations to anyone who will listen.  I was reading my MIL some of the charming posts off of the "What does your DC want to be when they grow up" thread and she was surprised.  She thought the only thing homeschoolers talked about on homeschool forums was about how terrible public schools are because that had been her experience in real life (and she's a retired PS teacher).  I tried to explain to her that the forums are not filled with angst about public school but she didn't seem convinced.

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Well my 4yo twins are often out with things on wrong, mismatched, rainboots with shorts on a sunny day or even a pirate costume. I've always allowed them to dress themselves. I bath them daily and wash their hands before we eat but they like to play in the dirt and one twin seems to always be dirty. It has nothing to do with homeschooling though because I waslike this before we homeschooled. I have bigger things to worry about than if a sweater, shorts and rainboots is an appropriate outfit. I want my kids to play in the dirt. They are kids and playing in the dirt meets sensory needs, imaginative play and I think exposure to germs is good to boost immune systems but like I said this is me and has nothing to do with being a home schooler. My kids are on target for their age level education wise, 2 are average and 2 advanced.

Edited by Momto4inSoCal
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FWIW, very few professors use Scantrons at the local community college. My oldest hasn't used them at all, and when they were talking about getting ride of the machine a few years ago, I think that only a handful said they still needed it. I never have.

 

A popular homeschool program with paid classes has advertised itself as "using blue book tests like colleges do." Well, I did at the liberal arts school I began with 35 years ago, but not at all after that. For some time I was curious about that statement, so I'd look in college bookstores when I was at professional meetings and when we were visiting colleges with the oldest. NOT ONE even carried them. So even that is old school IMHO.

Edited by G5052
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People who are contemptuous of those who send their kids to school, talking about school as if the kid has been sold to a child sex-slave trader. They don't need to know the whys and wherefores, because they already decided that if my kids are in school, I'm either neglectful or downright evil.

 

And the corollary, people who think home education is a panacea to the point where not helping your kids learn anything at all is viewed as 'still better than [gasp - the horror!] school'.

 

Where these two things overlap, is the realm of scarily cult-like home schoolers who just might be putting others off the idea of home education.

Edited by IsabelC
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DS11 learnt about scantron from state testing in 2nd grade and 3rd grade when it was still color the bubble. His 4th grade state testing was the computer based common core one.

 

DS9 learnt about scantron when he did Math Kangaroo.

 

Knowing how to color the bubbles does come in useful for ACT and SAT. DS11 was already used to coloring bubbles for name and test id when he took ACT.

 

Wow. I've never heard of blue books. I had to look that up. It apparently wasn't a thing when I want to college (state flagship university, Math major in the College of Liberal Arts & Sciences.)

Students were buying them at my local community college bookstore while I was visiting. It is also sold at the bookstore online.

http://books.deanza.edu/MerchDetail.aspx?MerchID=441475

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FWIW, very few professors use Scantrons at the local community college. My oldest hasn't used them at all, and when they were talking about getting ride of the machine a few years ago, I think that only a handful said they still needed it. I never have.

 

A popular homeschool program with paid classes has advertised itself as "using blue book tests like colleges do." Well, I did at the liberal arts school I began with 35 years ago, but not at all after that. For some time I was curious about that statement, so I'd look in college bookstores when I was at professional meetings and when we were visiting colleges with the oldest. NOT ONE even carried them. So even that is old school IMHO.

My daughter's college uses the little blue books for exams! I had forgotten all about them until she showed me one from her mid-terms.

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As far as the OP's question, I would say that, realistically, we can't eliminate every gap in knowledge.  However, one thing that I've noticed a bit in hsed kids is that, when they don't know something, they make it rather obvious and awkward.  Maybe they don't know how to appear cool or how to hide their ignorance at any cost?  Or maybe they just need to experience a bit more of the world before they can confidently navigate such situations.  

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My oldest is a Sophmore at SDSU and they use scantrons all the time. They also use this electronic device called a "clicker". I'm sure it has a more fancy name than that, LOL. It costs about $45 and you buy it at the bookstore, and type in a special code that the professor gives you, and that connects the clicker to the professor's class. When there is a quiz or a test, you answer the questions by pushing the correct button on your clicker and it automatically scores and records your grade. Some profs use them to take roll by asking a question to be answered with the clicker, within the first 5-10 min of class.

 

Homeschoolers in my area are most often known by either been very late to the fieldtrips, or not showing up at all. It was so bad that one of my homeschooling groups, started requiring a deposit for the free field trips. If you showed up, you got your check back. If not, your money was donated to the group.

Edited by mamakelly
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Wow. I've never heard of blue books. I had to look that up. It apparently wasn't a thing when I want to college (state flagship university, Math major in the College of Liberal Arts & Sciences.)

I never used them in math classes, or science. Only philosophy. And I had certainly never heard of them until college, nor used them since.

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I teach at our homeschool co-op, and have also taught in public school/college. So, some teacher perspective from both sides:

 

- writing names on papers for submission, and heading papers in general;

- regulating body such that restroom visits are well timed - snacks and water, too

- (not sure how to word this, but...) remembering that classroom experiences are *group* experiences, and, as such, aren't necessarily open to a student's personal preferences or interests 

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I teach at our homeschool co-op, and have also taught in public school/college. So, some teacher perspective from both sides:

 

- writing names on papers for submission, and heading papers in general;

- regulating body such that restroom visits are well timed - snacks and water, too

- (not sure how to word this, but...) remembering that classroom experiences are *group* experiences, and, as such, aren't necessarily open to a student's personal preferences or interests 

I am part of a co-op and this stood out to me. Why do you need to disrupt class to get water when break is 15 minutes away? You won't die of thirst in 15 minutes... and learning to ignore it for 15 minutes would probably do you good, too. (Going to bring this up with some moms in the coming few days...)

 

Emily

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Love the "regulating body" suggestion.

 

I would add:

Expressing disagreement with respect.  Understanding the time and place to express that disagreement and when to let a topic drop.

 

Standing in front of a group of people without picking nose, pulling at clothes.  How to project voice and slow down so people can hear and understand you.  (Most people have trouble with this, homeschooled or not).

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I'm another person of the mind that nothing *some* homeschoolers do can be made to make all homeschoolers look bad. And anyone who judges groups that way isn't worth my time.

 

Most of the things being discussed here are truly nitpicking and take very little time to explain. Even Power Point barely takes a couple hours to learn. And, as I used to argue with all the annoying parents back when I was teaching school, doing tons of PP presentations instead of writing actual papers is a huge waste of time for kids and a total dumbing down of expectations.

 

ETA: Or, they're things that, really, classroom kids struggle with too. Trust me, I've taught school. There are plenty of classroom kids who also struggle with the need to ask for a break, argue at inappropriate times, hog the conversation, etc.

Edited by Farrar
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I teach at our homeschool co-op, and have also taught in public school/college. So, some teacher perspective from both sides:

 

- writing names on papers for submission, and heading papers in general;

- regulating body such that restroom visits are well timed - snacks and water, too

- (not sure how to word this, but...) remembering that classroom experiences are *group* experiences, and, as such, aren't necessarily open to a student's personal preferences or interests 

 

Oh, yeah.  I'm making note of all of the suggestions made, but these are going into my head in bold font.  I remember some high school teachers counting 20 points off if you wrote your name on the wrong side of the paper.  The teachers didn't agree where the info needed to go, so sometimes we all got confused.  I can see that being a big problem.  STEM professors didn't care where stuff went as long as it was somewhere.  But, some of the other professors did care. 

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To teach Power Point shouldn't I understand Power Point? I really need to take some classes at the library.

LOL, no to both questions. Most kids can figure out PP on their own. You do not need to teach it. You can learn it on your owm too, just at a bits slower pace than your dc, lol.

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Telling me, to my public-schooled face, in front of my public-schooled kids, that they are so glad their kids don't have to deal with public school kids and all the bad stuff that goes on in their minds and comes out of their mouths.

This would be limited to ultra-religious homeschoolers but still.

Telling me that it's a good thing their kids won't learn to be automotons like they teach kids in public school.

Telling me, to my face, in front of my kids, "we homeschool because I actually care about my kids and what they learn." Particularly in an area where everyone is after schooling and striving and paying top dollar for a good school district, that's just plain rude.

In other words, putting others down to justify our own choices. Always a bad idea. Always.

This.

 

Homeschoolers can be irritating when they say, 'Reason #5478 why I homeschool,' followed by a diatribe about ps.

 

Assuming that kids in ps are out of control, never read a classic, spend most of the day standing in line,,etc.

 

Assuming that ps parents have little interest in what their kids are learning, assuming that ps parents never afterschool or read aloud to kids, take nature walks or educational field trips, and so on.

 

Imo, that is just as bad as assuming that all homeschoolers beat their kids and use Bible based curricula exclusively.

Edited by Alessandra
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My boys showed up at the college not knowing things. But so did a lot of the public school teens and older adults.

 

Teaching teens HOW to ask for help is a good life skill.

 

If your religion teaches humbleness, that can pay off for some teens being faced with an onslaught of new things. People often respond well to humble requests for assistance.

 

But on the other hand, if your kid is naturally assertive, he can just barrel his way through anything. Maybe others will find him annoying, and maybe they won't, but he will be okay. And maybe after awhile he will grow on even those who were initially repelled.

 

I didn't raise my boys to think they should have all the answers. I just raised them to be willing to learn.

 

I taught them as well as any any teen mom, low-income DV victim could, and then they did whatever they wanted.

 

They succeeded and they failed. They kept moving. They did it THEIR way.

 

When they are little it is hard to imagine how much of their future is going to be determined by THEM and not you.

 

Most of my older son's successes have nothing to do with me worrying about lists. He used the basics I taught him as a foundation, but then he told me to get out of the way, and since he was more than twice my size at just 14, I had no choice but to let him do it his way. And you know what, he was more right than I was. Those lists didn't matter, at least they didn't for HIM.

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People who are contemptuous of those who send their kids to school, talking about school as if the kid has been sold to a child sex-slave trader. They don't need to know the whys and wherefores, because they already decided that if my kids are in school, I'm either neglectful or downright evil.

 

And the corollary, people who think home education is a panacea to the point where not helping your kids learn anything at all is viewed as 'still better than [gasp - the horror!] school'.

 

Where these two things overlap, is the realm of scarily cult-like home schoolers who just might be putting others off the idea of home education.

Yeah, as someone whose kids go to public school, I feel this sometimes. Really, I'm a good mom. Or at least, a decent one.

 

However, I've never really thought of it as something homeschoolers do to give homeschoolers a bad name, more just something humans do that gives humans a bad name. It's an unfortunate aspect of our species that people will often bolster their own self-esteem by thinking more poorly of other groups than is actually true.

Edited by tm919
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This thread has encouraged me to give my boys a haircut today. :lol:

 

Oh, and to the poster with 4yo twins...4yo's are cute in the pirate costumes.  12yo's are not cute when they've gone 5 days without a shower and are still wearing the same dirty clothes.  Big difference.

 

 

 

Flaking out on things committed to outside the family is probably #1.  I have been guilty, but I have learned to simply not commit to stuff and ask people to get in touch with me closer to the date if they are wanting me to do something outside of my weekly routine.  If they need a sure commitment 3mo in advance, then I am not their person.  I am honest about that.

 

 

One of my children was very upset with me for a long while b/c I didn't teach them cuss words. :mellow:   They had an unpleasant experience of hearing them and repeating them, and not knowing what they meant.  I did explain that if they hear a word they don't know, do not repeat it until you ASK MOM what it means.  They will never get in trouble for saying a bad word if they are asking me what it means.  

 

 

Being a know-it-all can be a big negative. HSers do often cover broad and wide content, and then the kids are bored in group settings where that info is new to the other kids. Correcting adults soon follows....ouch!

 

 

Snobbery, especially involving academics and lifestyle choices not possible for B&M students.  "That book is twaddle!" and so on...

 

 

I will say, I have a child with dyslexia and am overly-aware of the judgement from other people. I've always been open about his struggles with adults who might need to know (Sunday School teachers, co-op teachers, etc...).  If you didn't know, and only saw a small snippet in time, you might think it was educational neglect.  Look at my other kids, look through his portfolios from years back, and you'll see he's the child who has had the most face-time instruction even if his reading and spelling skills come along at a snail's pace. So - I am careful not to judge when I see a child struggle, but I am also very open just in case I am meeting another dyslexia momma who needs some support.

 

Deadlines!  and "Do at home and bring back!"  Those aren't only homeschooler issues, but ugh!!!  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Regarding blue books (I can't let this drop):  

 

In a fit of nostalgia, I did an image search for them, and I had forgotten that they actually say, "Blue Book" on the cover, as if to make it absolutely clear (1) what it is and (2) what color it is.  I imagine getting into my car with the words "White Minivan" painted on the side.  

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Ditto committing to things and not showing up. We had 40 people RSVP for a tour of the US Capitol and 15 showed up.  This has been my experience for most field trips. And some take it to the extreme - one mom (of one) was so committed to her son's desires and to their flexibility as a family that when she realized co-op was impinging on these she quit immediately - even though she was a teacher and it was mid semester. It left the assistant teacher, who was really just wanting to assist and not teach, to finish out the class.  

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I’ve homeschooled since 2000 and intensively researched it and interviewed homeschoolers for a couple of years before that. I live in a county that has had just under 10,000 legally registered homeschoolers for a long time.  I’ve met just about every kind of homeschooler out there.

Granted not all of these are unique to homeschoolers, but that's the context, so here is a sampling of some:

 

1. Group Situations

 

Being unable to switch to a group mindset from an individual mindset when appropriate.

Arriving late to and leaving early from group events.

Signing up without being fully committed to attend and fully contribute unless a dire emergency happens.

Expecting the group to make exceptions and significant adjustments for  them or their children.

Not completing all of the assignments according to directions by the deadlines.

Not fully contributing to assigned work in a co-op.
Not familiarizing themselves with the details of the activity, it's requirements and the group policy before signing up.
Not bothering to write things down, look up something at the website or reading the handouts and instead contacting someone for information that could easily be found on their own time with their own effort.
Not bothering to google answers to frequently asked questions or something in particular before asking another person to tell them the answer or look it up for them or trying to participate in an in-depth discussion without basic, foundational knowledge.
Wanting a different focus for a group (academic vs. social) than the person running the group has-and complaining about it or derailing the focus.

 

2. Academics

Having unjustified low standards for teaching, content and output in one or more core subjects.

Having unjustified high standards for any subject. 

Inadequate review or practice for essential skills. 

Gaps in essential academic skills.

Ignoring developmental appropriateness or a learning disability. 

Starting a subject too early or way too late.

Making a lesson too long.

Not adapting to a known disability. 

Assuming the home is a magical, mystical place where learning happens in every core subject without any explicit instruction at all at any time.

Expecting all academics to be taught in a fun, game like way.
Expecting children to enjoy every academic subject.

Expecting children to be self-motivated in learning all core subjects at all times.
Assuming their personal educational convictions are the only way a child could possibly learn anything ever.

Micromanaging so much that a child doesn't learn to work independently.

Not preparing kids to adapt to the inefficient, illogical, cumbersome bureaucratic structure and policies of institutions outside the home. 

 

3. Socialization

 

Assuming home is a magical, mystical place where children learn good character, manners, social norms and self-regulation without any effort from a parent.

Ignoring personality differences.

Ignoring the importance of conforming to the most basic grooming standards and social norms.

Displaying a superior attitude about their personal convictions, religious/philosophical views, and educational choice.
Keeping themselves and their children ignorant of the wider world around them in subcultures, religions/philosophies, lifestyles, etc.

Comparing their children to others.

Speaking out of turn in a discussion or on a tour.

Engaging in education discussions and pointing out problems in institutional school settings then being offended with someone points out problems in homeschooling.

Assuming all questions about homeschooling are attacks or criticisms as opposed to a genuine inquiry.

Turning every conversation into their pet topic(s.)

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In my area I'd say things that give home educators a bad name are people always being late, not turning up at all and expecting people to waive normal requirements for things like courses, oh and the defensiveness isn't always great. My friend works in admissions for a small local  university that also does some lower level courses. The home educators she has told me about tend to be really unprepared and just expect her to waive admissions requirements and also can be quite defensive about their child and home ed from the minute she meets them, they just come in with the wrong attitude.

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This discussion is fascinating. I must live in a bubble, because I've never encountered any of these things. Of course, we don't spend tons of time with homeschooling friends since I find my kids have more in common with their academically-minded public/private school friends.

 

We do live in an area with lots of homeschoolers and belong to the big, secular, inclusive homeschooling group, but we only do the occasional academic activity (spelling bee, geography bee, etc) with the homeschool group. But almost everyone we have encountered over our 7 years homeschooling has been very nice and normal, and they are generally very serious about homeschooling and academics. We have very well-regarded, high-achieving schools here, and most homeschoolers have either come from the public schools or are planning to go back into the public schools at some point, so I have never heard any bragging about homeschool superiority or trashing of b&m schools.

 

Maybe these quirks are more common among religious homeschoolers or in unschooling circles?

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Okay, here is my number one pet peeve.

 

Children who have no respect for any adult authority besides their father.  Not their mom.  Not any woman.  Maybe, maybe, I don't know, they act better for generic men.

 

I used to go to church with a family like this.  You know how kids mill about, and an adult casually keeps an eye on them?  One family's kids would not listen to anybody except their dad. 

 

So saying things like, "hey, I would rather you guys not play over there," or "that is not okay when there are so many kids" or "while the little kids are playing with you, x and y are not okay" etc etc etc would just be ignored. 

 

It really ruined it for all the kids to have these kids who did not think they needed to listen to anybody but their dad. 

 

I was not friends with them (my kids were younger, and we were younger than that couple, so we just naturally were not together much), but I was friends with a couple more in their group (her older kids were the age of the younger kids in that family) and it made it hard for her. 

 

Like, you don't want to exclude those kids, but the dad has this attitude like it is everybody else's problem, b/c his kids listen to him, so he doesn't see it.  Apparently it was fine with him that the didn't listen to their mother. 

 

My number two pet peeve is defensive homeschoolers.  I see this with people who spend a lot of time talking about how bad the public schools are, but it is all gossip, and either inaccurate or extremely one-sided and heard from the side of someone with an axe to grind.  There are plenty of good reasons to homeschool.  You can homeschool without trashing the public schools.  (My kids are in public school.)  I heard a lot of things like this just going to the park and chit-chatting, while my little kids played.  Once I heard that the children at my older son's school were "locked down" and they were going on and on about horrible it was that he was scared and locked in his room.  In fact, we had gotten a note saying that b/c a custody dispute, side doors of the building would be locked, so enter through the office.  It was hardly a "lock down" like a prison like people were saying. 

 

Pet peeve three, is that in going to the public library, I have seen homeschoolers snub each other.  I saw a woman telling another woman about a Lego club her kids are in.  This woman asked if they might be able to join.  The first woman looked her up and down and said "I don't think so."  It was one of the rudest things I have ever seen between two adults.  I think that is rare, but I see some women like this at the library who come across like they have a little clique. 

 

I do not see that at parks.  Never.

 

Okay, another pet peeve, is when I am at the park, and see a bored-looking child 5 years older than all the other children.  And, they are there for hours (as I would be with my little kids).  And the child is just bored the whole time, b/c there are no kids that child's age, and there are some attempts to play with the little kids, but the older child clearly wants to play at a higher level of imagination, planning, and language, and it is like ----- too bad, kid. 

 

This is not my pet peeve, b/c this I assume happens only for an hour here and there in a person's life.  But, I know others with this pet peeve.  You go in the grocery store in the day.  There is a woman with a ton of kids.  She looks like she would not be able to handle it without snapping a bunch of orders to the oldes two kids, to tell them to do this and that with the younger kids.  I assume this is just happening an hour here and there, that it is not the full story.

 

But it gives some people an impression that the mom keeps the older kids home just to help with babysitting, and that at home they are probably just being bossed around like little servants.  I have seen people at the store that come across like they could be this way at the store, but honeslty I don't think it reflects what the rest of thier life is like.  We are not at our best in the store, either, that is not representative of us, really. 

 

And, I have met awesome, lovely homeschooler at the park and through team sports, that I have wonderful impressions of, and think are doing great things!  But those are the bad examples.

 

One woman I met at the park, who seemed extremely nice, whose kids were lovely, etc, told me she did not do any of the homeschool groups that met at the library.  So I think that is not just me -- there is something with the people who meet at the library in my town.  People I have seen who are just with their own kids at the library to check out books and look at books ----- good impression.  I just mean, people who chit chat at the library.  They can seem clique-y to my eyes.  Or, I have seen it a few times. I have seen it more than the one example I gave, but that was the first one where I was like,"Okay, I am not imagining things here." 

 

I don't mean it is anytime people are chatting at the library.... it is just, something that I *have* seen.  I don't think that is representative of "homeschoolers who chat at the library."  But I do think there are some clicquey people there on occassion!  They do come across that way, at least.  They don't come across like "friends who are meeting at the library."  Like -- they just don't.  I don't know how to explain it, exactly. 

Edited by Lecka
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I went to college for the first time at age 32.  That was back in 2005.  I'd never heard of a blue book either.  :)  I figured it out pretty quickly.

 

Um...I have a Bachelor of Science from a large state university and I've never heard of a Blue Book (what the heck?)...

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Arriving late to and leaving early from group events.

Expecting the group to make exceptions and significant adjustments for  them or their children.

Having unjustified low standards for teaching, content and output in one or more core subjects.

Micromanaging so much that a child doesn't learn to work independently. 

Displaying a superior attitude about their personal convictions, religious/philosophical views, and educational choice.

 

Ack...  I see a lot of this, but it's usually with newer homeschoolers (sorry, guys).  In my most nonjudgmental tone...I see a lot of families not getting to their schoolwork for long periods of time, because they have scheduled so many outside activities (for socialization).  I notice some homeschoolers have a tendency to really over schedule their kids - I'm guessing it's to help with the socialization argument.  I feel like we're over scheduled, too - but, we homeschoolers don't have to put them in so much stuff!  (I know easier said than done)      

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The jokey answer comes from when I was a public schooled teen and a quiver-full family attended our church for some time. The kids wore matching clothes and called it their school uniform. (Think weird sailor-suits on a group of 2-12 year olds). Looking back, their mom probably got cloth whole sale and made the clothes to economize and the uniform idea made it more appealing to the kids, but I'm very glad that was not my first exposure to homeschooling.

The more serious is to be careful what your kids repeat to others. A friend of mine doesn't mean to knock on those who public school, but her little ones say things like " I know that because I'm homeschooled. Too bad you were public schooled," to adult Sunday School teachers and the like. They are under 8, so no one expects perfect social skills, but it does sour the name of homeschooler somewhat.

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This thread has encouraged me to give my boys a haircut today. :lol:

 

Oh, and to the poster with 4yo twins...4yo's are cute in the pirate costumes.  12yo's are not cute when they've gone 5 days without a shower and are still wearing the same dirty clothes.  Big difference.

 

 

 

 

Or going without a shower for weeks, as with the family I was referencing. And, yes, when you are one of just a few homeschooling families in a small town, how you present yourself reflects on homeschooling whether it ought to or not. When you are attending a meeting for an organization and you are giving a presentation in dirty clothes with your shirt on inside out and backwards and your fly down, and you can barely read the note cards, people are going to notice. Especially if you are 13 years old. That is nothing like 4 year olds playing in the dirt.

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I understand the point of this thread, but if we are getting things off our chest about homeschoolers, I would like to contribute the following:

 

Complaining constantly about public school teachers, policies, common core, etc. I know we all homeschool for our own reasons, and whatever that is, there is probably no need to constantly berate public school kids and their situations to anyone who will listen. I was reading my MIL some of the charming posts off of the "What does your DC want to be when they grow up" thread and she was surprised. She thought the only thing homeschoolers talked about on homeschool forums was about how terrible public schools are because that had been her experience in real life (and she's a retired PS teacher). I tried to explain to her that the forums are not filled with angst about public school but she didn't seem convinced.

Probably has seen too many sarcastic and sassy memes posted on Facebook. Many, especially young, homeschool mistake being happy with their choice to homeschool with putdowns of the public school system. Eventually they realize ALL our kids will make up future society together and we have a vested interest in the public schools succeeding too. :) But finding the valve between being an advocate for personal choices while not knocking others is a life long lesson.... Eyes on your own paper, best advice ever.

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Being on their high-horse about what they eat, wear, play with, do, live in, drive, grow, etc. It's the little snide comments and one-up-man-ship that drives me batty with homeschoolers. Ex. Girl Scout troop at a karaoke party. Homeschooled kids (minus mine who knows who Taylor Swift is) sitting in the corner b/c they don't know the pop songs to sing them with the other girls. The hsed moms just sat there bragging on how 'counter-culture' their kids were b/c they 'aren't allowed to listen to inappropriate music' and only know 'church hymns.' And you'd think they wouldn't come, right? Oh no, can't give up an opportunity to sit there and be "better" than the ps-ed moms!!! It's the judging that makes me inwardly groan. 

 

Kids wearing no shirt and no shoes to park day b/c 10 yr old Snowflake Susie can't be bothered with footwear and a t-shirt in the winter. 11 yr olds who can't read b/c mom insists on not "directly teaching" the kids. 

 

Snubbing those who aren't unschoolers and accusing them of abusing their kids by teaching them. Kids not brushing their hair, just looking like a hot mess walking around. Saying ignorant things, letting their kids be rude or disrespectful to others b/c they're so "independent-minded". No, your kid is being a jerk, be a parent!!

 

 

Expecting special treatment b/c you're a homeschooler. Thinking your kids don't have to follow the rules of a traditional classroom setting (church, co-op) b/c you're a radical unschooler. Great, then don't come here and participate if you don't want me to say "no" to your kid!! Being non-normal so you can brag on it. 

 

Suffice to say, I have no homeschool friends ;)

 

Edited by waa510
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One complain I've heard quite a bit, not sure if it's true or not...to put their name on their papers? I've heard homeschooled kids are not used to doing that, and makes it harder for teachers when they go somewhere else

DS11 who went to public school is used to writing his name on their assignments. The class teacher would tell them to write their names while handing out the assignments. The teacher would also tend to check when collecting homework assignments.

 

DS9 just expect me to recognise which paper is his and which is DS11's so he rarely remembers to write his name. They have very similar handwriting though so they have to figure which is theirs.

 

I have public school teachers who are great at recognising handwriting.

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Confession: I have one homeschooled K-12 child who forgot to put his name on a paper in college. I forget what his professor did about it, but he learned his lesson and it never happened again. He graduated with a high GPA and is in his third year of dental school. Kids survive these kinds of things.

 

Dh sees a lot of homeschooled and public schooled kids in his family practice. Some homeschooled kids do things that give homeschooling a bad name; an equal number of public schooled kids do things that give public schools a bad name. Often they're the same things. They're kids. Kids are in process. (So are parents, for that matter.) 

 

Over the years I've learned that we as homeschool moms tend to take too much blame for their failures and too much credit for their successes.

 

 

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I worked for insurance company for years - blue book is one of the state reporting requirements that we can do complete and send to insurance commissioners of every state.  So, that's what I think about when I hear "blue book".

 

I never went through US K-12.  I can assure you that I didn't need any kind of special education to figure out how to color the bubbles on the Scantron and I am pretty sure any kid could figure that out

 

 

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I guess I was one of those homeschoolers that made other homeschoolers look bad. It never occurred to me that it was my responsibility to make more affluent and comfortable families look good. I'm glad I was too ignorant to know I was supposed to shoulder that burden on top of the too heavy ones I was already bearing.

 

Another homeschooler did report me to the school board while they were investigating her so perfect family. She was pretty peeved that she was being bothered with while my kids were running wild. The school board basically told her to mind her own business. I was compliant; she was not. That was all they cared about.

 

My 2E kid walked around with mismatched clothes with holes in them and hair half way down his back. He grunted at people instead of talking to them. But if someone's computer was broken, they knew who to call.

 

My older kid was out on the docks during school hours breaking every child labor law written.

 

I just thought me and my family were all about us. I cried myself to sleep some nights worrying that I was failing my boys and that doors were slamming shut. I wasn't crying about not making my "betters" look better. Good grief! :lol:

Edited by Hunter
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I am part of a co-op and this stood out to me. Why do you need to disrupt class to get water when break is 15 minutes away? You won't die of thirst in 15 minutes... and learning to ignore it for 15 minutes would probably do you good, too. (Going to bring this up with some moms in the coming few days...)

 

Emily

I was going to post the same thing. If you've enrolled your child in a class, please take them to the restroom and get water before coming to class. No, I just can't send your young child to the restroom alone in our large building which is often open to the public. Yes, I do have a helper but that helper is usually busy with class activities.

 

Lest anyone think I'm cruel and deny the restroom to young children, it's inevitable that a child has to go potty just as class is beginning.

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One complain I've heard quite a bit, not sure if it's true or not...to put their name on their papers? I've heard homeschooled kids are not used to doing that, and makes it harder for teachers when they go somewhere else

 

Plenty of ps students - even in high school - need to be reminded of this too.  Plenty.

 

Bathroom breaks during class also aren't just a homeschool deal.  Ditto eating in class (or wanting to if not allowed).  I only work at the high school level, so those are my experiences with that age.

 

I agree with the pp who said that kids are kids - period.

 

Teach reading, writing, math, lab reports, presentations (Power Point and in general), science, history, a language & some other electives, and test situations while giving them ample opportunities to socialize in society both with their age group and various ages and kids should be prepared for life, college or otherwise.

 

Every student will have some sort of gap in their education.  Every adult does too.  Gaps often can be easily filled in when needed - esp small gaps.

 

My youngest found one of those gaps when he didn't know what a Tic Tac was when he went to ps.  He survived - and it gives us something to put in his stocking every Christmas.

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This last weekend I was with a group of people not family but long-standing friends I see once a year. I mentioned homeschooling. At one point later on I walked into the room and I heard a woman who works at a community college complaining about homeschooled kids saying "What is a Scantron?", and then she has to teach them how to fill one out.

 

This was something I plan on covering, but it made me wonder, Are there other things that aren't on my radar?

I started college as a freshman in 2004 so it might have changed but I attended public school and never took a scantron test until I started taking college class at a local CC my junior year in high school through concurrent enrollment.

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