PrincessMommy Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 The bell ringers are back at the grocery stores. Our bell ringer takes her job seriously. She kind of hops and dances around (more vibrant hopping than actual dancing) while ringing her bell. Makes eye contact and merrily greets *everyone* in a way that says, "respond back to me." I just want to go to the store and get my stuff and leave. I don't want to talk with strangers, and I don't want to greet a happy, clappy cheerleader. Yeah, I know... it's terrible.....I'm a Christian. I'm supposed to be jolly and joyous for this season - right? Instead I'm grumpy because i want to be left alone and I don't want to be forced to say "hi". I feel like a scrooge. Ba Humbug. 38 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I'm glad to find out I'm not the only one who feels that way. I've been known to go in another door. This is the time of year I go into hermit mode. Family gatherings are enough. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Why must Christianity and extroversion go hand in hand? Is hat necessary? 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I am an extrovert in many ways. I, too, get uncomfortable with feeling pressured to respond every time I go to the store. I appreciate what they are doing. I do try to be friendly and I do donate when I can. I just don't want the pressure. I want to get in and get out. I realize it is a silly reaction. I still have it, though. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted December 2, 2015 Author Share Posted December 2, 2015 Why must Christianity and extroversion go hand in hand? Is hat necessary? no, it's not the extrovert part... it's the not being grumpy part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted December 2, 2015 Author Share Posted December 2, 2015 I'm glad to find out I'm not the only one who feels that way. I've been known to go in another door. This is the time of year I go into hermit mode. Family gatherings are enough. Thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 The bell ringers are back at the grocery stores. Our bell ringer takes her job seriously. She kind of hops and dances around (more vibrant hopping than actual dancing) while ringing her bell. Makes eye contact and merrily greets *everyone* in a way that says, "respond back to me." I just want to go to the store and get my stuff and leave. I don't want to talk with strangers, and I don't want to greet a happy, clappy cheerleader. Yeah, I know... it's terrible.....I'm a Christian. I'm supposed to be jolly and joyous for this season - right? Instead I'm grumpy because i want to be left alone and I don't want to be forced to say "hi". I feel like a scrooge. Ba Humbug. I think you can be joyous without being jolly. Nobody HAS to be jolly. I don't think that's a virtue, that's a personality type. Maybe you're not grumpy, you're just in your shell. Our bell ringer looks pathetically dignified. It's very difficult so I wish him a Merry Christmas anyways just to assuage the guilt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waa510 Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I'm so glad you said it b/c I've been feeling particularly thrilled with the fact that I don't have to deal with the bell ringers this year! They aren't on base and definitely not off-base where Christmastime charity-giving isn't too big of a thing. This time of year is stressful enough without a bouncy bell ringer getting all in my face!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 If you're talking about the Salvation Army bell-ringers, the ones in our area all seem to be pleasant and not at all pushy or "bouncy." I do donate money to them, but they don't try to pressure anyone to contribute. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I am glad we don't have such a thing. I would ignore or go in a different door 4 times out of 5. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 One thing I started doing that helps me is to make an effort to have a donation ready to go - one extra dollar bill, a handful of change in a designated pocket of my purse - not a large amount, just a little something to drop in the red bucket. I realized a couple of years ago that the main reason I got annoyed was because I felt the pressure to give was unavoidable. Now I just suit up for it. It's much easier to get past them that way. OP I imagine you really just wanted to vent, and I understand how you feel. Just wanted to share what made it easier for me. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopskipjump Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 AGREED!! I used to always drop money in the pails, but that sometimes gets a BIG, loud, (happy) reaction from the bell-ringer, which sends me scurrying away in a hurry. So now I just put my head down and charge through the front door like a bul, without acknowledging the bell-ringers. My kids usually follow behind me and put money in the pail. :p They aren't quite the introverts their mother is! I'm not opposed to the bell-ringers having fun with it at all. I just wish I could enter through the back door and avoid all the chaos. :ph34r: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Is it sad that I'm happy our store has 2 doors and only one bell ringer? I like to give, but I'm at the store several times a week 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Just today I passed one and did not have any cash on me. I will take Seasider's suggestion and keep a little cash aside for them. The one's I have seen don't really bounce but they do wish you a "Merry Christmas." :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I agree. It's particularly bad when there's one at every escape route door. And if you have to do multiple errands . . . there they are. Again! Arrrrgh!! 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 My supermarket has a ringer at the entrance vestibule and one at the exit. The entrance is long and tall with a row of glass garage-like doors to make it a sort of open air farmers market in good weather. Those bells are OBNOXIOUS in that room!!! The sound goes right through me. It's bumped my people skills down to issue number 2 in that category. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monica_in_Switzerland Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I hate this too. It helps me to pretend they are not asking me for money, and are just an ehtusiastic and friendly stranger. I can give them a cheerful hello and keep right on walking, pretending they are not asking for money. I feel like the avoidance/no eye contact thing is a strategy I use to say "I'm not going to give you money" but saying hi and not slowing down send the same message and don't make me feel so mean. lol. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 The bell ringers are back at the grocery stores. Our bell ringer takes her job seriously. She kind of hops and dances around (more vibrant hopping than actual dancing) while ringing her bell. Makes eye contact and merrily greets *everyone* in a way that says, "respond back to me." I just want to go to the store and get my stuff and leave. I don't want to talk with strangers, and I don't want to greet a happy, clappy cheerleader. Yeah, I know... it's terrible.....I'm a Christian. I'm supposed to be jolly and joyous for this season - right? Instead I'm grumpy because i want to be left alone and I don't want to be forced to say "hi". I feel like a scrooge. Ba Humbug. I feel the same. Oftentimes, I'm so grouchy that I even need to go get groceries, which is a task I don't enjoy, and I don't want to be Chatty Patty with anyone. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted December 2, 2015 Author Share Posted December 2, 2015 I don't mind giving money... i just don't want to deal with a super friendly, bouncy bell ringer who insists on an interaction every time you pass her. And the bell sounds starts to bother me too. There's only one entrance at this store- which I also frequent several times a week. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Most of the time I mumble a thank you and keep on walking. I've only seen one in front of Walmart though. They make me feel uncomfortable, as if I'm being judged for not dropping money in every time I see them. I like the idea of keeping a pocket of change. I'll just drop in a quarter and be on my way. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I love all of the things that the Salvation Army does for people. But honestly, those bell ringers. I'm sorry, but it feels like harrassment. It feels like they are being AGGRESSIVE with the bell. It feels like I'm being bullied into giving, which ticks me off and makes me not give. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hwin Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I wear a big sticker that says "social anxiety" and it really helps. Just kidding. I say "hi!" and walk past. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 The bell ringers are back at the grocery stores. Our bell ringer takes her job seriously. She kind of hops and dances around (more vibrant hopping than actual dancing) while ringing her bell. Makes eye contact and merrily greets *everyone* in a way that says, "respond back to me." I just want to go to the store and get my stuff and leave. I don't want to talk with strangers, and I don't want to greet a happy, clappy cheerleader. Having been the bell-ringer, I want to let everyone know that they aren't bouncing because they are exuberant, they are bouncing because they are freezing. Ringing bells for the salvation army with my kids is one of my favorite holiday activities, but it is also one of the most painful. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeacherZee Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I'll be grumpy with you...but I choose to be it in a room by myself because I really don't want to spend more time with people right now. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edithcrawley Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I feel the same way---I've had several of them get up in my face and demand to know why I'm not donating----so I explain my stance on why I'd never ever give to the Salvation Army and then that specific bell ringer leaves me alone whenever I see them after that, but there are always others who keep bugging me. I don't mind the ones that just stand quietly off to the side and ring (though the noise is annoying when they're at Kroger since they're in the front entryway with all the carts and it echoes a ton. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 (edited) I feel the same way. I'm much more likely to make the effort to make a donation if nobody is going to notice. ETA: There are some ringers who are very festive, but don't seem so intimidating. We have one at our Trader Joe's who sings the whole time he rings. Since he is singing, he isn't making small talk. I think he is one of the most successful ringers they have. Edited December 2, 2015 by dirty ethel rackham 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 You know what else I don't like? When they set up all those sampling stations. And they yell out if I want to try this or that. No really I just want to do my grocery shopping and get on with my life. Sometimes I go out of my way not to walk past them so they don't ask me. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I don't like the bell-ringing, but it is better than the Girl Scouts expecting me to buy cookies that cost four times as much as the cookies in the store that I just came out of. I really don't like the guilt-tripping of people asking for donations at the door, no matter how "worthy" the cause is. And I especially don't like the bucket-toting people walking up and down the medians near traffic lights. I often don't feel safe. Vent over. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I send my kids to run interference. A couple of coins in their hands...they run ahead of me and drop it in/engage the bell-ringer. Then I wait by the door for them to join me, and we duck inside. Kids feel happy that they've helped others, their extrovert-buckets get filled, and I don't have to interact with a stranger. Win-win. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Having been the bell-ringer, I want to let everyone know that they aren't bouncing because they are exuberant, they are bouncing because they are freezing. I have noticed this--that some bell ringers bounce a bit when it's cold. I always figured they were just trying to stay warm. I've never been approached or asked for a donation by a bell ringer. Some just smile at everyone who makes eye contact. Others give everyone a greeting. But though I've never felt intimidated or pressured there's still a part of my introverted self that gets uncomfortable walking by bell ringers or Scouts selling stuff in front of the store. Publix* and Target don't allow these activities outside their stores. *The Publixes in my area have this policy posted outside the store but I can't find a corporate policy so possibly this varies by store/region. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 The last bell ringer was also smoking. Yuck. And it's not allowed. But yuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I would probably say something to a smoking bell ringer, and then complain about it to the store's management. I won't donate money to Salvation Army. They are a church, not a charity, they discriminate against people like me, and I have no patience for the noise. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Like others have said, it isn't about giving money. It's about being an introvert and feeling attacked on all sides during the holiday season. Noise, noise, noise. I'm really not a grinch, but I find myself getting grinchy after going to the stores. It's me, not them. My glass of wine in the evening turns into two after shopping during the holiday season. And don't get me started on the people that approach cars at intersections. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Like others have said, it isn't about giving money. It's about being an introvert and feeling attacked on all sides during the holiday season. Noise, noise, noise. I'm really not a grinch, but I find myself getting grinchy after going to the stores. It's me, not them. My glass of wine in the evening turns into two after shopping during the holiday season. And don't get me started on the people that approach cars at intersections. Yes! The extra noise, the larger crowds, the decorations meant to draw the eye. All of those "extras" to me equal a sensory assault that makes me tired and want to get back home as quickly as possible. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 (edited) they don't just greet you expecting you to greet them back - they have the EXPECTATION that you will be guilted into throwing money in their pot that I find most objectionable. the one who is "dancing around" - is doing so to get attention. it also can intimidate people into feelings of guilt to donate money. eta: this is at many stores. they dont' care if you donate elsewhere - they want you to donate to *them*. if they were just offering cheery merry christmases, I could return them. (and many do, but some . . . . ) Edited December 2, 2015 by gardenmom5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I'm with you! I try not to be a grouch about it, but besides being an introvert, I also have a hearing condition that amplifies high-pitched sounds in a distorted, painful way, so things like that bell are really grating. Especially when it's non-stop for a month and in several places I go. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Maybe we have better bell ringers in my neck of the woods? I was just thinking the other day how they are the only non-annoying group that asks for money in public. I give them a large bill every year that I can, and Merry Christmas the other ones I see. I've never seen dancing or smoking or anything except ringing the bell and saying Merry Christmas. The ones that get me are those that wait at intersections. I don't care how wonderful the charity is, how wonderful the people are, and how polite and non-confrontational they are. Don't approach my car! My private bubble is really large in a car. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Yes! The extra noise, the larger crowds, the decorations meant to draw the eye. All of those "extras" to me equal a sensory assault that makes me tired and want to get back home as quickly as possible. This is me!!! And it gets worse the older I get. I remember marathon shopping with my mom, grandma, aunts, and cousins when I was a kid and it was such a blast. Now, ONE STORE and I am so completely overloaded by the music that's so loud you can't carry on a conversation without yelling, the jostling crowd, the gazillion things to see (all of which my well-meaning daughter has to point out to me!) that I'm just ready to home and pour a glass of wine. In a *silent* room. Alone. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 At least bell ringers are seasonal. If you feel bad about being the grumpy Christian at the grocery store, imagine how much worse it is being the grumpy Christian trying to get into church without having to shake hands. We've always had greeters, but now we have someone who has decided to open the door for everyone and shake their hands on their way into the building. I'm sure he's just a friendly, well-intentioned extrovert who can't imagine anyone doesn't like shaking hands. But I don't want to shake hands. I just want to get into the building. If we can get there early enough, I don't have to shake anybody's hand, but my kids tend to prevent "getting there early enough". (I don't like passing the peace either. Can't we just say "and also with you"?) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 The piercing sound of that bell makes me feel all stabby. I like the idea of keeping a pocket of change. I'll just drop in a quarter and be on my way. I won't do this because the last thing I want to do is encourage them! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Maybe we have better bell ringers in my neck of the woods? I was just thinking the other day how they are the only non-annoying group that asks for money in public. I give them a large bill every year that I can, and Merry Christmas the other ones I see. I've never seen dancing or smoking or anything except ringing the bell and saying Merry Christmas. The ones that get me are those that wait at intersections. I don't care how wonderful the charity is, how wonderful the people are, and how polite and non-confrontational they are. Don't approach my car! My private bubble is really large in a car. :iagree: I'm surprised at how many people feel like they are being intimidated by the bell ringers. If you don't want to donate, just walk past them and forget about them. It's what most people do so I'm sure they are used to it -- and if they're not, it's not your problem. I find it far more uncomfortable to walk past the scouting troops selling cookies and popcorn because the kids are always so cute... but I manage to say no to them without guilt, too, if I'm not interested in buying anything. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 (edited) You know what else I don't like? When they set up all those sampling stations. And they yell out if I want to try this or that. No really I just want to do my grocery shopping and get on with my life. Sometimes I go out of my way not to walk past them so they don't ask me. I like the sampling stations, but my wallet doesn't. I always seem to end up buying stuff I don't need (and probably won't even eat) at places like Sam's and Costco because the little samples lure me in. Apparently, I am their target market. I am so weak. Edited December 2, 2015 by Catwoman 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I don't mind giving money... i just don't want to deal with a super friendly, bouncy bell ringer who insists on an interaction every time you pass her. And the bell sounds starts to bother me too. There's only one entrance at this store- which I also frequent several times a week. If she is that pushy, it might be worth approaching the store manager and letting him or her know what is happening and that it may be keeping customers out of the store. If it was my store, I'd want to know if the bell ringer was that aggressive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam in CT Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 The bell ringers are back at the grocery stores. Our bell ringer takes her job seriously. She kind of hops and dances around (more vibrant hopping than actual dancing) while ringing her bell. Makes eye contact and merrily greets *everyone* in a way that says, "respond back to me." I just want to go to the store and get my stuff and leave. I don't want to talk with strangers, and I don't want to greet a happy, clappy cheerleader. Yeah, I know... it's terrible.....I'm a Christian. I'm supposed to be jolly and joyous for this season - right? Instead I'm grumpy because i want to be left alone and I don't want to be forced to say "hi". I feel like a scrooge. Ba Humbug. ... no advice, just sympathy, but, "more vibrant hopping than actual dancing" has pretty much made MY day, so, thanks for that. :lol: from, fellow introvert 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 This is me!!! And it gets worse the older I get. I remember marathon shopping with my mom, grandma, aunts, and cousins when I was a kid and it was such a blast. Now, ONE STORE and I am so completely overloaded by the music that's so loud you can't carry on a conversation without yelling, the jostling crowd, the gazillion things to see (all of which my well-meaning daughter has to point out to me!) that I'm just ready to home and pour a glass of wine. In a *silent* room. Alone. My mom and I used to do Christmas shopping marathons: we would start early and end late. I thought it was fun and exciting. Now online shopping suits me. I'd rather stay home, watch Christmas movies, and bake. With my family. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 :iagree: I'm surprised at how many people feel like they are being intimidated by the bell ringers. If you don't want to donate, just walk past them and forget about them. It's what most people do so I'm sure they are used to it -- and if they're not, it's not your problem. I find it far more uncomfortable to walk past the scouting troops selling cookies and popcorn because the kids are always so cute... but I manage to say no to them without guilt, too, if I'm not interested in buying anything. The scouts outside of a grocery store bring out my inner Old Fart. I went door-to-door to collect orders and door-to-door to deliver, why can't they? Door-to-door, I always sold enough to earn free two weeks of summer camp. Yeah, I've heard that the group doesn't allow it anymore, but still .... Get Off My Lawn! I'd probably be less grumpy if it wasn't in front of a store that sells what they are trying to sell me. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Like others have said, it isn't about giving money. It's about being an introvert and feeling attacked on all sides during the holiday season. Noise, noise, noise. I'm really not a grinch, but I find myself getting grinchy after going to the stores. It's me, not them. My glass of wine in the evening turns into two after shopping during the holiday season. And don't get me started on the people that approach cars at intersections. Ha Ha! I said just yesterday, while my family was watching The Grinch, "Noise!Noise!Noise!Noise! Yes, I commiserate with you, Mr. grinch! That is also what I hate about Christmas!" :D 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I like the sampling stations, but my wallet doesn't. I always seem to end up buying stuff I don't need (and probably won't even eat) at places like Sam's and Costco because the little samples lure me in. Apparently, I am their target market. I am so weak. The warehouse clubs seem to give out better samples. The regular store often gives out samples for very common items. So nothing special. Although once my usual store was giving out beer samples. I didn't, but that was tempting. LOL 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam in CT Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 The scouts outside of a grocery store bring out my inner Old Fart. I went door-to-door to collect orders and door-to-door to deliver, why can't they? Door-to-door, I always sold enough to earn free two weeks of summer camp. Yeah, I've heard that the group doesn't allow it anymore, but still .... Get Off My Lawn! I'd probably be less grumpy if it wasn't in front of a store that sells what they are trying to sell me. Egads, I would rather hawkers hang in a public space like in front of the grocery store, whatever they're selling, than have people come.to.my.door by a margin of about 15000 to 1. Do.Not.Ring.My.Bell. :cursing: 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted December 2, 2015 Author Share Posted December 2, 2015 Egads, I would rather hawkers hang in a public space like in front of the grocery store, whatever they're selling, than have people come.to.my.door by a margin of about 15000 to 1. Do.Not.Ring.My.Bell. :cursing: Yes, I agree. I'll take them in a public space over ringing my door bell... I hate that. In fact I had the meat truck guy ring my doorbell today - just when my granddaughter had amost fallen asleep. :mad: I was not happy. And no, I didn't buy. I have a friend who sells me 1/2 a steer- and you guys have taught me well. :D 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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