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ereks mom

Can I post another prayer request (very personal & I'm hesitant to post it)...

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... because I'm afraid there will be some out there who just won't understand and will tell me to just get over it. But I am asking for your understanding and your prayers. Here's the thing: ER is my firstborn, and he went away to college just 3 weeks ago. And I am REALLY having a hard time with this! I expected to have to make a major adjustment, and I tried to prepare myself, but I am really struggling. I'm almost ashamed to admit this, but I feel almost the same way I felt right after my dad died! Please pray for me. And if you have any words of encouragement, please post them. NO "horror stories" please!

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That's got to be hard. My Ds is wanting to go away to school (instead of stay here and go to the State U) and it makes me very depressed to think about. The time goes too fast! I can't keep up with it!

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

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... because I'm afraid there will be some out there who just won't understand and will tell me to just get over it. But I am asking for your understanding and your prayers. Here's the thing: ER is my firstborn, and he went away to college just 3 weeks ago. And I am REALLY having a hard time with this! I expected to have to make a major adjustment, and I tried to prepare myself, but I am really struggling. I'm almost ashamed to admit this, but I feel almost the same way I felt right after my dad died! Please pray for me. And if you have any words of encouragement, please post them. NO "horror stories" please!

 

Huge hugs to you, and I will pray. I choke up just *thinking* about my oldest going off to college, and that's still at least 5 years away. How far away is he and will you get to see him anytime soon?

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Right now my oldest is 16 so I don't know what it is like having my 1st go to college but I can imagine if she decides to go away to college I will feel the same way as you do. Quite honestly I even had a hard time sending her to her first day of high school. (Dh wouldn't let me homeschool her). I felt like it was her first day of kindergarten. I missed her so much and so did her two younger siblings.

 

I wish I could offer you some advice but I'm hoping it will get better for you as time passes. My mom told me that she cried for several weeks after I left for college.

 

I guess I would just advise that you focus on what a wonderful job you did as a mom and the closeless that you obviously feel with your son. I know a lot of people who can't wait for their kids to go to college. They think their job is finally done.

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:grouphug:

 

I'll be praying for you. I can imagine this is hard! My oldest is 14 and is already talking about going to Paris to do her discipleship training school (DTS) with our mission organization. I hope by then we are closer because Guatemala is a long way from Paris.

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Guest Virginia Dawn

(((ereks mom)))

 

I know exactly how you feel.

 

My oldest son has been gone for 3 weeks too. I cried the day we dropped him off, but he is only 15 miles away!

Dh looked at me like I was crazy. I felt like a piece of me had been ripped out.

 

We still see him at least twice a week for church, and he is within walking distance of dh's work, so dh is thrilled when he stops in for a visit. I'm jealous.

 

Having 3 kids still at home, especially little ones, helps keep my mind off of worrying about him. It is nice that my 15yo has stepped up and become the one I have semi-adult conversations with.

 

I hope you are able to find peace even with that small ache that never really goes away.

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I almost asked how he was doing today when I read another one of your posts. :grouphug: I'll pray for you and him.

 

He's doing well. He calls every few days & sends a few text messages just about every day. He really likes his roommate and is meeting people and getting involved in campus activities. He even likes the cafeteria food -- for the most part, anyway. Classes are going well so far. He especially likes his Old Testament class. The professor begins class each morning with prayer requests & a prayer time. He hasn't had any major tests yet, but he has done well on quizzes. Fortunately, as far as I know, he isn't homesick at all.

 

Thank you for your prayers.

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My 18 went away to a charter/boarding school his Junior year of high school. He had to live there even though the school was only @ 4 miles from our house and he came home every weekend. I cried for days and for weeks everytime he left, I'd cry again. I can SO understand!!! :grouphug: I will be praying for you.

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How far away is he and will you get to see him anytime soon?

 

He's only a couple of hours away, but he doesn't get to come home very often because, since he's a music major, he often has to attend concerts on weekends.

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My daughter is a senior this year and my head thinks it would be good for her to go away to college but my heart screams that she must stay here! I can totally relate.

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... because I'm afraid there will be some out there who just won't understand and will tell me to just get over it. But I am asking for your understanding and your prayers. Here's the thing: ER is my firstborn, and he went away to college just 3 weeks ago. And I am REALLY having a hard time with this! I expected to have to make a major adjustment, and I tried to prepare myself, but I am really struggling. I'm almost ashamed to admit this, but I feel almost the same way I felt right after my dad died! Please pray for me. And if you have any words of encouragement, please post them. NO "horror stories" please!

 

I am praying right now for you. We have gone through this twice and it is gut-wrenching but it will get better with time. Keep busy. Treat yourself well. It will get better.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Dana

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You have my heart--I am missing my dd, and I get to see her every day after school!

You are grieving a loss, and that's ok. Totally normal. It hurts.

You will be ok. Don't medicate the hurt feelings, just feel them. They will get better with time.

Be gentle with yourself, and know we really do understand.

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I'll pray for you also. :grouphug: My daughter is at home still, but is now gone at work several days a week and I miss her a lot! So I can only imagine how hard it must be to have your son away at school. One of the neat things about homeschooling is how our adult kids become such good friends...but then it's harder to let them go.

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... because I'm afraid there will be some out there who just won't understand and will tell me to just get over it. But I am asking for your understanding and your prayers. Here's the thing: ER is my firstborn, and he went away to college just 3 weeks ago. And I am REALLY having a hard time with this! I expected to have to make a major adjustment, and I tried to prepare myself, but I am really struggling. I'm almost ashamed to admit this, but I feel almost the same way I felt right after my dad died! Please pray for me. And if you have any words of encouragement, please post them. NO "horror stories" please!

 

Oh wow, here is a :grouphug:!

 

I have seen many of your posts about your kids, and have always thought how wonderful it is that you seem so close to them, and how proud you are of them - your love of them really shines through your writing!! Of course you desperately miss him!

 

Last summer my kids spent 3 nights away from us, and I missed them like crazy, cried and the whole bit. We both missed them a lot, and were so relieved when they came home. We had a nice long chat and cuddle with them when they came home.

 

The daughter of a friend of mine went far away to university a few years ago, and my friend was SOO sad - she cried a lot, too, and cleared out her schedule every time her daughter had a chance to go home. That girl is living back at home now and going to school closer by, and my friend is quite happy to have her back.

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with how you are feeling - they are our KIDS and we pour so much into them - I believe that's the way God meant relationships to be - close - it's comforting to have relationships like that, and if we can make relationships like that with our kids, they will last forever.

 

:grouphug: May God show His kindness to you during this time. :)

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:grouphug:

My oldest is a freshman in high school this year and I'm already crying thinking of him leaving in a few years.

 

You're a great mom!

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Hi, ereks mom....

 

Praying for you! And I SO understand your grief...I'm right there with you this year. We just took our oldest daughter to college on the opposite side of the country. She started at a Christian university in California, and we live in New Jersey! It's awful...I miss her every day. I couldn't even go into her room until just a few days ago, and she's been gone for over three weeks now. She misses us too. She calls us at least three times a day, texts, Facebooks, and e-mails. She sends us all her papers to edit before she hands them in too....so in a way we're still homeschooling, I guess!

 

None of us wanted her to go so far away, but she really wanted this particular school. And we are all convinced it's the right place for her. She's very happy (except for missing us) and already making great friends. Still... I can't believe I won't see her until CHRISTMAS! It's such an incredibly hard adjustment.

 

When she IS home, and the weather is so nice and warm like it has been, her favorite spot is reading on the couch out on our porch. I was looking at the empty couch the other day (:crying:), missing her being there, and then thought - I can't believe none of the other kids have taken over her spot yet...it's the best spot in the house in warm weather! But then I also thought...I'm actually glad she ISN'T there right now. It's not the right place for her anymore. If she were lying on that cozy couch on my porch right now, she wouldn't be out there in the world, at that wonderful university, fulfilling God's plan for her life. So, as much as I'm missing her....I'm beginning to get through it a little and see a bit of the bigger picture for her life.

 

I miss my bright sparkling girl every single day though....and I have to admit I'm jealous of everybody else that gets to spend time with her instead of me!

 

We'll make it, won't we! And we'll have great vacations with our kids, and we'll be amazed at how they have grown and matured!

 

Thanks so much for sharing with all of us....

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Oh, of course you do!!!! I can't imagine feeling any way other than devistated when my kids move out. I know my mom went through some depression symptoms when I moved out (and she still had my brother at home). She napped a lot, etc. I will pray for you and I don't think you should feel like this is abnormal.

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Bless your poor mama's heart. My oldest is over 24 hours drive away. It's awful. The last time he left I refused to go to the airport. I hate saying goodbye there.

 

This is his third year, and he's the only one old enough so far. I imagine when the girls leave I'll be in pieces. When the trips leave all together (God willing) I'll be in pieces.

 

It will get easier. That's all I can tell you. As much as we don't want to, we have to let them go. I think the thing that really helps me is that he is in a wonderful Christian community that really takes care of "their" students. And he's made some lifetime friends. You have to concentrate on that.

Another thing that helps me is that I made friends with some of the other moms that have kids there. We blog together and facebook together. I "talk" a lot with one of son's roomie's mom. And a lot of his friends there have "friended" me on FB, so I get to see lots of pics of ds. He always wonders how I know what he's up too. I have spies everywhere.

 

Hang in there, you can do it. You have to think about how cool it is that he's starting a lifetime of experiences.

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No advice, just :grouphug: and prayers - I'll be there in a few years - quicker than I can imagine, I'm sure.

 

May you draw closer to the Lord during these days.

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Praying. Please try to remember that you are mourning a certain season of your life now being over. It is a change in your family structure. Give yourself a chance to grieve. I am sure you will adjust in time but be sure to give yourself that time. My sister is going through this right now as her last child just left home. We grieve losses not just deaths.

Hugs

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:grouphug: I completely understand your feelings. We are living in Japan for the next 3 years, and my oldest ds is stateside in college. I miss his hugs.

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I will pray for you. I totally understand what you are saying as my 18 yo dd will be going away to college next year and I'm already panicy about it. It is so hard having your precious babies grow up and having to let them go out on their own but I'm sure our mamas felt the same way.;) I'm sure he will be fine and so will you. What I do when I start feeling that way is to just pray the blood of Jesus over dc and then I know there's someone who loves them even more than me watching over them and I can relax.:grouphug:

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I completely understand your feelings. My ds is 19 and left for boot camp a little over a month ago. The first couple of weeks, I was pretty okay. By Labor Day, I was a mess. I miss him so much! I miss how loud and noisy he is when he is home. I miss him asking me what is for dinner at 10am. I miss the overpowering smell of AXE. I just miss him! I can't wait to go see him graduate in October. I am going to be one crying momma. You are perfectly normal to miss your child. I will say a prayer for you!

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I know just how you feel too! My two oldest have gone off to college too in the past 5 years and I cried for weeks when it happened. Sometimes I still do, especially when I see younger families who homeeschool and think...10 years ago that was us....But it does get better and you will get used to him away in college. How wonderful to hear that he is in a Christian college...mine too. My oldest graduated in 2006 and my middle dd is a senior this year. When I am feeling sad about them being away and that they are changing without me there every day I just remember what wonderful grown up people they are becoming as each day passes. I will pray for you.

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I will pray. Changes are hard. If it helps at all, I think what you are experiencing is fairly common. Unfortunantly, prayer is all I can contribute. Wish I had words of wisdom. I'm sure I'll be coming to you in a couple of years to look for advice.

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Oh, honey. I haven't been there yet, but I look at my baby boy and already feel a little sad, knowing that he will go away from me someday. I can only imagine how you're feeling. I will pray. :grouphug:

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Awww, I think it's lovely that you have that kind of relationship that would cause such strong feelings. Not lovely to feel so rotten, but very special that you feel as you do.

 

I cannot imagine when that day will come here. I am 99% certain that I'll be right where you are. I love my kids. We all do. But I can't imagine them going off into life. I will most certainly be very sad and take it very hard.

 

You should not be hesitant to post your needs. It is wonderful that you have such a special son that you would miss him so much. I pray that time will lessen the sharpness of the feelings and you will come to a place of peace. Hang in there. There are plenty here to lift you up and support you. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

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Every other list I'm on has had moms describing what you're going through. When dd went away to a letters-only camp this summer, dh and I both found ourselves sitting on the front porch waiting for the mail carrier every afternoon. I'm dreading the college break, too, but I remind myself that I have made all my efforts so that she will be independent and competent.

 

Sounds like your son is both able to manage on his own and still in a close relationship with you. Way to go, Mom! My prayers are with you.

Danielle

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I completely understand how you feel. Amber left home in April for her first real job. She went to Kuwait to work...talk about adjustments. You hang in there..I'll pray for you!:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

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:grouphug: Praying for you. My dd is wanting to attend Berry next year and I am already trying to prepare myself for it. :grouphug:

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:grouphug:Big, big hug and prayers.

 

What you are feeling is true and a testament to the young man you raised. My mom and I cried for weeks when I moved out. Love is a big thing especially for moms.:grouphug:

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... because I'm afraid there will be some out there who just won't understand and will tell me to just get over it. But I am asking for your understanding and your prayers. Here's the thing: ER is my firstborn, and he went away to college just 3 weeks ago. And I am REALLY having a hard time with this! I expected to have to make a major adjustment, and I tried to prepare myself, but I am really struggling. I'm almost ashamed to admit this, but I feel almost the same way I felt right after my dad died! Please pray for me. And if you have any words of encouragement, please post them. NO "horror stories" please!

 

I may not fully "understand" because I have not been where you are (yet) but it is very easy for me to imagine how hard it will be when my children begin to move on.

 

:grouphug:

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