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What a difference a year makes--teenage boys

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I've shared some in other threads about the bumpy start ds had to high school. Reading posts from moms whose sons had had bumpy starts and had "gotten it together" really encouraged me.I just wanted to post my own encouragement to other moms who are now going through the throes of early adolescents with their dss (and perhaps dds).


My ds is very bright, and early on in my homeschooling journey I had dreams of what high school would look like--full of deep learning and ds--who had always been a very self directed learner--eagerly pursuing his subjects and excelling all over the place. LOL


Well==BAM== can we say that his ninth grade year did not even begin to approach my vision. And he didn't even care. Not about learning. Not about grades. He hated it all. Failure became a reason to give up, not to perservere. It was SO hard to watch and live.


I had to do a lot of work myself seperating myself from his work. I had to learn not to take on the emotional work of his failures. I had to give him space and love him.


But, wow, what a different year we are having. We were able to outsource 4 classes so I could be just mom in some areas. One that we kept is one we do with a group of kids so, even though I'm the teacher, there is outside accountability.


He is having a great year. He has had ups and downs, but is working hard. His favorite class is one he's getting a B in and he's learning (slowly--but learning) to stop making the stupid mistakes that are causing lower grade. Most of all-he cares about his work! He may never be an overachiever like his mom and dad--but that's probably healthier. I wish I could be more laid back.


So moms out there who are struggling with teenaged underachievers--keep keeping on. Try not to helicopter. Give your child space to fail and pick him/herself up. They can and do mature!


(personal caveat--one thing that made this tough on me is the history of depression in my family-so do rule that out. )

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What an awesome, inspiring post! Thank you for sharing and giving me hope!

Thanks. I'm glad I've give you hope. I read posts last year from moms whose boys got it together at 15 and 16 and I just held on to that hoping it would happen here and I'd begin to see some maturity. I wanted to pass it on. I
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