Unbelievable Grandparent Comment

[MomOfABunch]

Background: The grandparents don't get homeschooling at all, especially for high school. The biggest concern? Team sports. They, well grandpa mostly, wants Twin 2 to play team sports. 1. He has no interest 2. I would let him if he wanted to and he can as a homeschooler. Twin 2 is starting DE at the local CC. He's going to take 1 class in the spring to ease him into it. Something fun, not a core class. We had lunch with the grandparents today and he was talking about what he was going to take.

 

The comment? "You're not sending him to public school because you're worried about the social influences (true, but not the only reason for homeschooling), but you're going to send him to CC with older kids who couldn't get into real colleges? He doesn't have the social experience to go there without going to high school. What about all the sexual predators?"

 

OMG! I need some one liners to shut them down the next time this comes up.

[Jean in Newcastle]

You could use the tried and true, "Bye, Dad.  Let us know when you are ready to see us again without rude comments."  

[Julie Smith]

I once got a totally out there comment from Dh's friend. 

 

When talking about homeschooling my kids when they were older he wondering if I was worried about them going postal since I would be forcing them to go to the library often. 

 

 

[Roadrunner]

When talking about homeschooling my kids when they were older he wondering if I was worried about them going postal since I would be forcing them to go to the library often.

 

You just made my evening! I can't stop laughing!

 

 

Yes, my family keeps telling me that I am socially crippling them. I would love dome one liners as well.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Yeah it is amazing the anti homeschool reasoning by some out there.  I always pretend they are daring me.  It's very motivational to me.  : )

 

 

[amsunshine]

Sexual predators!?!  Unbelievable.  Oh my word.  I just had one of our friends ask us when we felt we should have our kids go to school so they can learn how to deal with "bad people".  Now, I know.  I'll just send them to cc so they can learn how to deal with sexual predators. Problem solved.  

[mamiof5]

Oh my!! I'd probably say something like "There are sexual predators everywhere, we just chose to have him hang out with those with an education level a bit higher than highschool" :). Ok, honestly I would never say that (I might think it), I'd probably just say "thanks for your concern, I'll pray all goes well for him" and switch the conversation towards the weather or "Can you believe Christmas is almost here?? This year flew by!". You could also say " because I love you and respect you very much I'm just going to pretend I did not hear that'. Honestly I'm not much of a "come back" gal, I kind of bite my tongue and change topics...

[Tsuga]

Our CC had a homeschooler as one of the keynote speakers this year.

 

That said, I do wonder about this. Obviously CC is hardly Harvard. We take everyone and anyone. We are the land of second chances. We treat everyone like adults. It never ceases to amaze me that homeschoolers who reject our well-funded public schools, or at least, better funded, with typical children, and instead send their children to CC where they have the opportunity to hobnob with single mothers, dyslexics in their fifth year, ex cons, international students fromSaudi, and all manner of random people.

 

While it makes sense for many, I cannot wrap my head around the fact that the high school's IB program, no, too socially harsh, but our classes.. Yes. That's the socialization you want. With the veterans and their PTSD support animals.

 

Don't get me wrong. I went to CC. I work at one. But it IS hard to understand the social homeschoolers' motivations when they send their kids here. I wish someone could explain it.

[December]

Our CC had a homeschooler as one of the keynote speakers this year.

 

That said, I do wonder about this. Obviously CC is hardly Harvard. We take everyone and anyone. We are the land of second chances. We treat everyone like adults. It never ceases to amaze me that homeschoolers who reject our well-funded public schools, or at least, better funded, with typical children, and instead send their children to CC where they have the opportunity to hobnob with single mothers, dyslexics in their fifth year, ex cons, international students fromSaudi, and all manner of random people.

 

While it makes sense for many, I cannot wrap my head around the fact that the high school's IB program, no, too socially harsh, but our classes.. Yes. That's the socialization you want. With the veterans and their PTSD support animals.

 

Don't get me wrong. I went to CC. I work at one. But it IS hard to understand the social homeschoolers' motivations when they send their kids here. I wish someone could explain it.

 

I think one difference would be that people who are CC are there because they want to be there.  While with high school, you have students who don't want to be there and are forced to be there, leading them to take out their frustrations on everyone else.  I mean, do you have problems with students bullying each other at CC?  Maybe it happens and I don't hear about it, but I have a hard time imagining that bullying could occur at CC anywhere at the level it does in public schools.

[mamiof5]

Our CC had a homeschooler as one of the keynote speakers this year.

 

That said, I do wonder about this. Obviously CC is hardly Harvard. We take everyone and anyone. We are the land of second chances. We treat everyone like adults. It never ceases to amaze me that homeschoolers who reject our well-funded public schools, or at least, better funded, with typical children, and instead send their children to CC where they have the opportunity to hobnob with single mothers, dyslexics in their fifth year, ex cons, international students fromSaudi, and all manner of random people.

 

While it makes sense for many, I cannot wrap my head around the fact that the high school's IB program, no, too socially harsh, but our classes.. Yes. That's the socialization you want. With the veterans and their PTSD support animals.

 

Don't get me wrong. I went to CC. I work at one. But it IS hard to understand the social homeschoolers' motivations when they send their kids here. I wish someone could explain it.

I don't know? Haven't crossed that bridge yet. However, at least in our case I think that the reasons why we homeschool just play a big role in this. Yes, socializing with "typical" children as you mentioned, is one of our concerns. But let me add that if what is going on in a lot of public schools is "typical child behavior" then we are doomed. But it's not only that. We homeschool because we want to have our faith as the center of their education, because life us too short and we want to be their primary educators, and just because, it's the lifestyle we have chosen and works for us. If we wanted to homeschool the kids to eternally alienate them from the world then we'd have to move to our own island, where only us are allowed to be. They will find all sorts of people in their lives, in a CC, at a grocery store, at work etc, can't avoid that, not trying to avoid that. Also, CC is more flexible, they can take one class or three, we decide. That doesn't compare with sticking them all day in a highschool. I don't know what the future will bring for us, but if I was in that stage in our lives I can think of many, many reasons why CC would work for us and not high school.

[Roadrunner]

Our CC had a homeschooler as one of the keynote speakers this year.

 

That said, I do wonder about this. Obviously CC is hardly Harvard. We take everyone and anyone. We are the land of second chances. We treat everyone like adults. It never ceases to amaze me that homeschoolers who reject our well-funded public schools, or at least, better funded, with typical children, and instead send their children to CC where they have the opportunity to hobnob with single mothers, dyslexics in their fifth year, ex cons, international students fromSaudi, and all manner of random people.

 

While it makes sense for many, I cannot wrap my head around the fact that the high school's IB program, no, too socially harsh, but our classes.. Yes. That's the socialization you want. With the veterans and their PTSD support animals.

 

Don't get me wrong. I went to CC. I work at one. But it IS hard to understand the social homeschoolers' motivations when they send their kids here. I wish someone could explain it.

Because you can get all UC general ed classes completed at CC for virtually nothing in CA and then transfer into UC. Our local CC is well regarded.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Many dual enrollment classes in CC's are filled with kids full of intelligence and ambition.  

[The Girls' Mom]

Well, personally, our CC is pretty decent.  I attend classes there myself, as does one of my dds.  Another DD started to this semester but our schedules became overwhelming so she dropped.  

The difference between public high school and CC is quite large.  You can actually have complete control over which classes you take.  You are generally going to learn something instead of learning how to take a test, or prepping for a test, or taking yet another test.  The environment, I have found, is much more tame than any of the three high schools I attended 20 years ago.  Yes, you occasionally hear about someone's late night partying, and the teachers sometimes swear, but it isn't that bad.  I heard/saw/participated in worse when I was in high school.  According to my niece that is currently in the high school my girls would attend, things have not improved in 20 years.  

Anyway, there are many reasons.  

As to the OP...that is a rather hilarious reason.  

[73349]

Don't sexual predators go to high school??

[NCMom]

Our CC had a homeschooler as one of the keynote speakers this year.

 

That said, I do wonder about this. Obviously CC is hardly Harvard. We take everyone and anyone. We are the land of second chances. We treat everyone like adults. It never ceases to amaze me that homeschoolers who reject our well-funded public schools, or at least, better funded, with typical children, and instead send their children to CC where they have the opportunity to hobnob with single mothers, dyslexics in their fifth year, ex cons, international students fromSaudi, and all manner of random people.

 

While it makes sense for many, I cannot wrap my head around the fact that the high school's IB program, no, too socially harsh, but our classes.. Yes. That's the socialization you want. With the veterans and their PTSD support animals.

 

Don't get me wrong. I went to CC. I work at one. But it IS hard to understand the social homeschoolers' motivations when they send their kids here. I wish someone could explain it.

 

Because it gives you something besides mommy grades. And it's free. And you can get pre-reqs done. And you can take the classes YOU want, not the same ones everybody is forced to take (and then take a lovely EOC test at the end of the year that counts more than any amount of work you put into the class previously). Our CC is not great, but it isn't horrible.

 

For the record, I didn't/don't "send" my kids anywhere. They make that call. Two of the three chose to take classes at the CC. Middle dd did pre-reqs and a certification that will get her a great job if she drops out of her 4 year college today.  The youngest is trying out different things, trying to find what she wants to do after graduation. She does have some rather interesting people in one of her classes this semester, but it is what it is, and she has seen what some very different life choices may bring you to, lol. 

 

Another difference here is that my kids, and 2 have been to public schools, have not expected school to be their main source of socialization (until 4 yr college :laugh: ) so it was never an issue.

 

Georgia

[Garga]

Well, I sort of see his point.

 

If he believes you homeschool to keep bad influences from your kids, then of course he would be shocked that you're sending them straight to CC where there are much older people and the subject matter is much more mature in many classes.  We just had a thread about how in college, you expect the teachers to talk about sex and disturbing things in the news or in real life. If he thinks you're homeschooling to protect your child, then no wonder he's surprised you'd send them to college where mature topics will be discussed. 

 

Now, the line about sexual predators is out there.  And the comment about how the students can't get into "real" college.  That's just silly and stereotypical.  I'd imagine a person who believes that would also fear that you run into sexual predators and people who can't get into "real" college at a low level first time job.  So, if your son works in fast food (where according to another thread, the managers will make you a drug mule), then I suppose Grandpa would object to that as well.

[shawthorne44]

Socially, there is a huge difference between high school and CC.  I did some CC classes while getting my 4-year degree at a major University, because it was dirt cheap in comparison.  I didn't socialize with anyone there.  I am not a snob.  It is just that the setup was such that you weren't forced to socialize.  You saw them in class, then you left.  If you wanted to study with someone you could, or not.  You didn't have to find one of them to eat lunch with.  You didn't have to walk by anyone leering at you every single day on your way to the locker.  If someone did assault you in some way, you could call the police and they would take care of things.   Rather than the admin punishing you equally.   So, there might have been miscreants in my CC classes, but I didn't know and didn't care.  

 

[Tsuga]

I think one difference would be that people who are CC are there because they want to be there. While with high school, you have students who don't want to be there and are forced to be there, leading them to take out their frustrations on everyone else. I mean, do you have problems with students bullying each other at CC? Maybe it happens and I don't hear about it, but I have a hard time imagining that bullying could occur at CC anywhere at the level it does in public schools.

Hm. I guess... We don't have many non-motivated IB students in the high school, or all-AP students.

 

For a child that cannot manage high school content or is only at HS level, CC is generally not an option.

 

For children who are at college level, there are many options.

 

We have way more drugs than the high schools and that is saying a lot.

 

Our local high schools do have bullying but not every single one is this horrible place where nobody cares. There ARE loving, caring teeachers in our high schools and people do have friends. I know that people get bullied but it's not like that happens all the time to everyone. Even in the worst case scenarios it's only a few kids. That's unacceptable but considering how hard it is to homeschool and how expensive to go to college if you have to pay--is every homeschooled child actually getting bullied or facing bullying at every school?

Is there really such a low chance of being in a school without bullying?

[Tsuga]

Socially, there is a huge difference between high school and CC. I did some CC classes while getting my 4-year degree at a major University, because it was dirt cheap in comparison. I didn't socialize with anyone there. I am not a snob. It is just that the setup was such that you weren't forced to socialize. You saw them in class, then you left. If you wanted to study with someone you could, or not. You didn't have to find one of them to eat lunch with. You didn't have to walk by anyone leering at you every single day on your way to the locker. If someone did assault you in some way, you could call the police and they would take care of things. Rather than the admin punishing you equally. So, there might have been miscreants in my CC classes, but I didn't know and didn't care.

I feel like you are comparing worst case scenario High School with best case scenario CC.

 

I agree that both could happen, but I don't understand why the chances are being assessed that way. Sexual assault on college campuses is very real and we have way more men teaching.

[shawthorne44]

Wasn't that everyone's high school experience?  It was mine except I am old enough that the victim wasn't punished equally.  But, that is SOP now.  I went to what was considered an excellent school which was also largely without poverty.  The kids on the school lunch program were those who had escaped Communist Asia.    

 

My description of CC is just based on the nature of it.  You go to class, you leave.  If you are hanging out on campus it is because you are waiting for a class to start.  You don't live on campus, you don't go to frat parties, because there aren't any.  You aren't taking upper-level classes in a major, so you aren't likely to see the same people in every class.  

[EmseB]

Our CC had a homeschooler as one of the keynote speakers this year.

 

That said, I do wonder about this. Obviously CC is hardly Harvard. We take everyone and anyone. We are the land of second chances. We treat everyone like adults. It never ceases to amaze me that homeschoolers who reject our well-funded public schools, or at least, better funded, with typical children, and instead send their children to CC where they have the opportunity to hobnob with single mothers, dyslexics in their fifth year, ex cons, international students fromSaudi, and all manner of random people.

 

While it makes sense for many, I cannot wrap my head around the fact that the high school's IB program, no, too socially harsh, but our classes.. Yes. That's the socialization you want. With the veterans and their PTSD support animals.

 

Don't get me wrong. I went to CC. I work at one. But it IS hard to understand the social homeschoolers' motivations when they send their kids here. I wish someone could explain it.

 

Most homeschoolers I know reject the idea of socialization as 30 same-age peers hanging out in a classroom all day, especially at the elementary and middle school ages.  They don't reject socialization out of hand.

 

They don't reject socialization because it's "too harsh", and actually tend towards a more diverse crowd in general.

 

At high school age, I personally would rather my kids be talking to or learning about the veteran with PTSD and international students than hanging out with a bunch of other 15 or 16 year olds with first world problems and drama.  Also, my experience at CC is that people in general were much kinder and easier to get along with than any of my high school experiences with the "popular" crowd.

 

Honestly, your post reads as a thinly veiled, "but what about socialization", just from a different angle.

[lea_lpz]

I took classes at my local CC in high school and loved it! It helped me gets feel for what was expected in college.

[Tsuga]

Many dual enrollment classes in CC's are filled with kids full of intelligence and ambition.

But IB classes aren't? But AP classes aren't? Drama, band, engineering clubs aren't?

 

Yeah, CC can be great!

 

But... So can public school. I know bullying exists but as the sole person of color in a public HS I was never bullied. Even the gay boy was not relentlessly bullied.

 

I get that CC can be great.

 

What I do not get is why people assume it's going to be better than HS.

 

I mean... My partner and I were both shy, in accelerated classes, we were band / chess geeks. Nobody hurt us.

 

The assumption that all high school kids are so awful but that CC magically transforms them into these great people... It's all people. All humanity. Good and bad.

 

I get homeschooling for tailored education, but as the parent of PS kids no, I don't get the need to keep your kids from mine while at the same time putting them in CC.

 

What I am hearing is that people in CC are older and therefore less threatening but I am also hearing very little hope for high school.

 

I find that odd. I think good and bad things can happen in any school, including homeschool.

 

CC might be the right curricular choice for a kid but so might an IB program.

 

Why is CC acceptable for homeschoolers but not high school?

[Plink]

instead send their children to CC where they have the opportunity to hobnob with single mothers, dyslexics in their fifth year, ex cons, international students fromSaudi, and all manner of random people.

Did you really just lump single mothers, dyslexics, and international students in with ex-cons?  

 

Yikes!  Anyone one else you'd care to insult today?

[lea_lpz]

Socially, there is a huge difference between high school and CC. I did some CC classes while getting my 4-year degree at a major University, because it was dirt cheap in comparison. I didn't socialize with anyone there. I am not a snob. It is just that the setup was such that you weren't forced to socialize. You saw them in class, then you left. If you wanted to study with someone you could, or not. You didn't have to find one of them to eat lunch with. You didn't have to walk by anyone leering at you every single day on your way to the locker. If someone did assault you in some way, you could call the police and they would take care of things. Rather than the admin punishing you equally. So, there might have been miscreants in my CC classes, but I didn't know and didn't care.

I did some classes at CC in high school, then started their after high school with the goal of transfer. Because I had taken college prep classes in college and taken some classes at the CC in high school, I graduated in 3 semesters and transferred to UC Berkeley.

 

My experience was much the same. I went to class. I knew some acquaintances from class I would talk to but for the most part I went to class, studied at the library, went to math and Lang labs, and left. I worked part time so I stayed pretty busy between my friends, boyfriend, job and school. I thought getting to know non traditional students was a neat experience. I liked the one on one attention you got in CC and it was a bargain! I transferred into my UC with junior standing and did just fine!

[Tsuga]

Most homeschoolers I know reject the idea of socialization as 30 same-age peers hanging out in a classroom all day, especially at the elementary and middle school ages. They don't reject socialization out of hand.

 

They don't reject socialization because it's "too harsh", and actually tend towards a more diverse crowd in general.

 

 

At high school age, I personally would rather my kids be talking to or learning about the veteran with PTSD and international students than hanging out with a bunch of other 15 or 16 year olds with first world problems and drama. Also, my experience at CC is that people in general were much kinder and easier to get along with than any of my high school experiences with the "popular" crowd.

 

Honestly, your post reads as a thinly veiled, "but what about socialization", just from a different angle.

I think you are reading me wrong.

 

I work at a CC and have a kid in a HS and middle and primary school. I see people at different life stages all the time and what I am saying is that it seems strange to avoid one group for fear or concern about its... Banality? Unkindness? Whatever reason someone thinks their kid should not be in public school.

 

But community college, that is not at all the exact same people and problems as in high school only spread out over different life stages. Noooo. Community college, that is a nice crowd and you don't worry about a kid there.

 

I don't get the inconsistency. As someone who sees these people every day, I don't get it.

 

I do get why people avoid public school and I get community college but I don't get avoiding ps HS for social reasons then sending a kid off to CC. In both cases there are pros and cons.

 

Is it a time thing? They spend fewer hours?

 

What makes CC people okay but not HS people?

 

Also... You don't have to try to be popular in HS. You can just let it go.

[EmseB]

 

Why is CC acceptable for homeschoolers but not high school?

 

 

Some homeschoolers do send their kids to high school.  I don't understand the straw man you've set up here that homeschoolers send their kids to CC but not to high school.  Some homeschoolers transition to public high school, some to DE, some to CC...there's a wide variety. 

[Clear Creek]

Our CC had a homeschooler as one of the keynote speakers this year.

 

That said, I do wonder about this. Obviously CC is hardly Harvard. We take everyone and anyone. We are the land of second chances. We treat everyone like adults. It never ceases to amaze me that homeschoolers who reject our well-funded public schools, or at least, better funded, with typical children, and instead send their children to CC where they have the opportunity to hobnob with single mothers, dyslexics in their fifth year, ex cons, international students fromSaudi, and all manner of random people.

 

While it makes sense for many, I cannot wrap my head around the fact that the high school's IB program, no, too socially harsh, but our classes.. Yes. That's the socialization you want. With the veterans and their PTSD support animals.

 

Don't get me wrong. I went to CC. I work at one. But it IS hard to understand the social homeschoolers' motivations when they send their kids here. I wish someone could explain it.

 

Excuse me? Are you saying that it is undesirable for children to socialize with veterans of our armed forces? Are you for real?

 

I am a veteran. My husband is a veteran. Should our children not be spending their time with us?? My husband works part-time for a veteran (who has severe PTSD). Should he not be taking our children in to work with him? His boss has kids; should my kids not go over to his house and spend time with them? His wife is a veteran as well, so I suppose your answer would be no. I am throwing a baby shower this weekend for a good friend whose husband is a veteran (who has severe PTSD), should I not bring my kids along? What about the baby his wife is having?? The little guy has no choice but to be raised in a home with a veteran for a father. My grandfather was a veteran with severe PTSD; should I not have let my children get to know him before he passed away? The majority of the adults in my church are either active duty soldiers or veterans...and at least half of them (soldiers and veterans combined) have PTSD. Should we not be letting children into our church?

 

Veterans are actually good, kind people, not the dregs of society that you make them out to be. And having a mental disorder as a result of serving their country does not make them into a lower class of people with whom we should not let our children associate.

 

I recommend that you find the nearest VA hospital and spend some time there getting to know veterans of all ages and with varying disabilities. Perhaps you will come to see them as the decent human beings that they are. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

But IB classes aren't? But AP classes aren't? Drama, band, engineering clubs aren't?

 

Yeah, CC can be great!

 

But... So can public school. I know bullying exists but as the sole person of color in a public HS I was never bullied. Even the gay boy was not relentlessly bullied.

 

I get that CC can be great.

 

What I do not get is why people assume it's going to be better than HS.

 

I mean... My partner and I were both shy, in accelerated classes, we were band / chess geeks. Nobody hurt us.

 

The assumption that all high school kids are so awful but that CC magically transforms them into these great people... It's all people. All humanity. Good and bad.

 

I get homeschooling for tailored education, but as the parent of PS kids no, I don't get the need to keep your kids from mine while at the same time putting them in CC.

 

What I am hearing is that people in CC are older and therefore less threatening but I am also hearing very little hope for high school.

 

I find that odd. I think good and bad things can happen in any school, including homeschool.

 

CC might be the right curricular choice for a kid but so might an IB program.

 

Why is CC acceptable for homeschoolers but not high school?

You are assuming a dichotomy that I never stated.  The OP was about rude comments that were intended to bully her and her child into doing things the Grandpa's way instead of opening a thoughtful dialog.  

 

To answer your genuine question.  I choose homeschool over high school because my teens choose homeschool over high school.  They know and socialize with many public school high school kids.  They like them.  But they do not like what is described as the school environment.  And they love having a tailored education that allows them to study things in depth and to mastery while they also get to socialize with a wide range of people.  

 

I have taught in local high schools.  High school is great if you are in the "in crowd".  Not so great if you aren't.  It's also great if you learn easily in a linear textbook fashion.  It sucks if you don't.  CC's don't have the problem of the "in crowd".  I'm not sure about the teaching styles.  

[HS Mom in NC]

I'd say something like, "You do know there are sexual predators everywhere, right? You are aware that many people attend CC to reduce debt loads.  Are you aware of how much money is saved attending CC?  You do know that the social norms in CC are more adult than in high school, right?  And anyone ready for CC is less impressionable than the elementary and Jr. High set, don't you think? Lots of homeschoolers choose CC over high school for just those reasons. Most people in CC are there because they want to be or because they decided to do something constructive while they figure out what they want to do, which isn't always the norm in ps schools."

 

Yes, there are different groups of people in CC just like there are different groups of people in universities.  Some will be socially positive and some socially negative in each.  If someone doesn't know that, they're not living in the real world. I think the parent unwilling to send a child to K-12 ps for social reasons is probably more comfortable sending their young adult to CC because the kid is not an impressionable child anymore and the parent has had more time than a ps parent to influence the child directly in social matters. Yes, I know I'm being Captain Obvious.


 

[Tsuga]

Excuse me? Are you saying that it is undesirable for children to socialize with veterans of our armed forces? Are you for real?

 

I am a veteran. My husband is a veteran. Should our children not be spending their time with us?? My husband works part-time for a veteran (who has severe PTSD). Should he not be taking our children in to work with him? His boss has kids; should my kids not go over to his house and spend time with them? His wife is a veteran as well, so I suppose your answer would be no. I am throwing a baby shower this weekend for a good friend whose husband is a veteran (who has severe PTSD), should I not bring my kids along? What about the baby his wife is having?? The little guy has no choice but to be raised in a home with a veteran for a father. My grandfather was a veteran with severe PTSD; should I not have let my children get to know him before he passed away? The majority of the adults in my church are either active duty soldiers or veterans...and at least half of them (soldiers and veterans combined) have PTSD. Should we not be letting children into our church?

 

Veterans are actually good, kind people, not the dregs of society that you make them out to be. And having a mental disorder as a result of serving their country does not make them into a lower class of people with whom we should not let our children associate.

 

I recommend that you find the nearest VA hospital and spend some time there getting to know veterans of all ages and with varying disabilities. Perhaps you will come to see them as the decent human beings that they are.

I really think that this highlights the low opinion you have of public school students.

 

See, about half of my family are veterans.

 

But also, my neighbor teaches honors English at a high school.

 

I have a high opinion of vets and have the opportunity to serve them daily.

 

But you will see me and my kids in public schools all. Day. Long.

 

You guys don't get it.

 

I'm not the one having my children avoid anybody.

 

Not the kids in the IB program.

 

Not the kids in the alternative classes.

 

Not the vets.

 

Not the disabled.

 

Not the kids who've been moved from place to place with a military family and who are under stress--indeed that IS my family.

 

I'm not the one who is not in the CC and public primary schools every day because I'm concerned about what my kids will face. I'm here. I'm all in.

 

No, I'm here and I deal with people and see them (though I am too sensitive to work on student services).

 

What I hear from many homeschoolers regularly is how crappy our schools are, how crappy the society is.

 

But community college, this is where you can send your child at 14-18 and somehow, at the underfunded CC, that's okay. Where instructors earn less than the teachers in the primary schools. LOL!

 

THAT is the disconnect.

 

My whole life is serving these populations, rich and poor.

 

And I don't get why the same people who are worried about their kids being exposed to bad behavior in HS are so confident it cannot happen at CC.

 

Being a vet doesn't make you nice. Neither does being a single mom.

 

Sexual assault happens as do drugs.

 

People are so stuck on this idea that HS is the worst possible place for a kid because some people have negative experiences and all anyone can say is how community college is different.

 

I don't think everyone needs high school socialization but I also don't get the fear.

 

I'm not afraid of high school so yeah, it blows my mind that someone would fear high schoolers and not ex-cons.

 

You see... I don't get it because I don't get the fear. Period.

 

To me, it's like... Once you are afraid of one state institution, why not all of them?

 

Fear popular girls? Why not also hide from single moms? Neither of those groups bother me so to me I don't get what the distinguishing factor is.

 

Fear football bullies? Why not fear ex cons?

 

Fear rude hallway glances but not fear someone dealing drugs?

 

Fear anonymity in crowded hallways but not... Anonymity in crowded hallways?

 

It's not that vets are scary to me. Hah! No! It's that neither are cheerleaders or cliques or football players or goths or bad French teachers. To me, if a cheerleader making a snide remark is scary, why isn't a recovering addict scary? I don't get the distinction because I hang out with everyone.

 

What are you afraid of in high school, if not other people?

 

And if it is other people, why are CC students exempt?

 

And if you're not afraid... Well... Anxious? Uncomfortable? What is the social aspect of homeschooling, if not a worry that something could happen in HS?

 

I think the fear is so obvious to you all that you cannot imagine I don't share it. But I don't. I feel like people on this thread are basically saying, "well sure colleges have sexual assault and people with mental health issues and drugs but there are no popular kids!"

 

Because you know. A cheerleader with a snide remark is the worst thing that could happen to a kid. Much worse than (and yes this happens) someone walking down the hall flipping out over financial aid and upturning tables. How dare I compare a vet with PTSD to someone as horrible as a public schooler!

 

That vet was almost certainly a public schooler you know. It is the same person.

 

School or Unschool how you want. But if you tell me Ps is scary and CC is not then I'm going to try to figure out what is scary in one and not the other.

 

All those kids you want to avoid in PS. They don't disappear when they graduate. Do you have to deal with them? No. But you might of you come to CC.

[Plink]

Tsunga, I can feel the hurt in your posts. I am so sorry that you feel as if all homeschoolers judge and fear your high school students.

 

We are a diverse group. For every parent that homeschools to shelter their kids there are others who homeschool to accommodate disabilities, accelerate learning, allow for travel flexibility, increase opportunities for specialized work, or dozens of other reasons. We don't all dislike socializing with non-homeschoolers. I promise.

[Hobbes]

I really think that this highlights the low opinion you have of public school students.

I'm not sure why you think that HS parents send their kids to CC as a full-time alternative to public school, or that HS use CC because they think so much better of the students there than of high school students. 

 

I was homeschooled for my whole education, including high school, and am now deeply involved in my homeschool community with my own children. The only reason I've heard that people sent their kids for CC classes (or why my friends in highschool years took some courses)  is because they wanted to take certain credits which would advance their academic goals. None of them, that I know of, have enrolled their children full-time in CC as an alternative to a local high school.

 

My sister actually went to a local alternative school for two semesters - this is a branch of our public school board that helps adult or 'failed' students achieve individual courses that they need outside of the high school schedule. About 80% of those students are there because they 'failed' or dropped out of regular high schools, some are adults trying to get the credits they need to apply for a university later in life. Drugs and other issues are rampant. My sister went in for a couple of courses in order to complete them quickly and get the credits she needed for her university nursing application. She did her courses and left. This was not a 'replacement' for the high school environment and it was not her new social structure, it was a piece of the puzzle for completing her homeschool work in preparation for university. She was still a homeschooled student, spending the majority of her days in a homeschool environment. 

 

That is the way I see most people using CC courses - as selected pieces. A resource for credits and courses within the framework of a homeschool education. The CCs in our area encourage this. In Canada, it can be a very helpful addition to a homeschooler's university application. 

 

Where is this coming from, the idea that homeschoolers pull their kids from the 'foul' high school environment and immerse them in the 'somehow more sanitized but really not' CC environment? I just don't see that happening, at least in the region where I am homeschooling/have been homeschooled.

 

For personal context, my husband works very closely with and often inside the local public schools, particularly the high priority ones, and I have no personal hatred bias against public high schools. 

[MinivanMom]

Wasn't that everyone's high school experience?  It was mine except I am old enough that the victim wasn't punished equally.  But, that is SOP now.  I went to what was considered an excellent school which was also largely without poverty.  The kids on the school lunch program were those who had escaped Communist Asia.    

 

My description of CC is just based on the nature of it.  You go to class, you leave.  If you are hanging out on campus it is because you are waiting for a class to start.  You don't live on campus, you don't go to frat parties, because there aren't any.  You aren't taking upper-level classes in a major, so you aren't likely to see the same people in every class.  

 

No. I attended three high-poverty high schools in California, and I never encountered or witnessed bullying. I never saw or heard reference to drugs, crime, or sexual harassment. It simply didn't happen. I was surrounded by students who loved learning, worked hard, and wanted to be there everyday. Of course, I was on the honors/AP track, so my high school experience probably occurred in a bit of a bubble (despite the 3 high-poverty high schools).

 

So I am confused when the reason given for community college is a blanket disparagement of all high school students. And, knowing the caliber of students from my high school who went on to community college (most of them forced to attend by mommy & daddy), I'm baffled by comments that community college is always academically superior and all the students want to be there. I'm sure there are many good reasons to homeschool high school while supplementing with community college classes, but I'm just not sure the comparison can be such a black & white attack on the high school experience. The comparison is much more shades of gray, and I think we need to be respectful of the myriad of good choices that conscientious parents can make for their high school age children.

 

For the record, we homeschool and have always homeschooled. And grandpa was rude and out-of-line, especially with the crazy sexual predators comment. But if the underlying question is, "Why would you reject high school for social/academic reasons, but then send them to community college," I understand where grandpa is coming from. I don't think there's anything strange or "unbelievable" about him being initially surprised and confused about enrolling at the community college. I would simply explain why community college enrollment meets our academic needs and move along with my life. 

[December]

I wonder how you know the motivations of the homeschoolers that attend your CC?  When I was in high school I mostly took AP classes.  Some of my peers that would have otherwise chosen AP, chose to do Running Start at the CC instead.  I assume you would have no problems with public school students opting to go to CC instead of high school?  So why shouldn't homeschoolers get to make a similar choice, and decide that CC classes are more in line with their educational goals than completing their education entirely at home?  

Edited November 10, 2015 by December

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

 

For the record, we homeschool and have always homeschooled. And grandpa was rude and out-of-line, especially with the crazy sexual predators comment. But if the underlying question is, "Why would you reject high school for social/academic reasons, but then send them to community college," I understand where grandpa is coming from. I don't think there's anything strange or "unbelievable" about him being initially surprised and confused about enrolling at the community college. I would simply explain why community college enrollment meets our academic needs and move along with my life. 

Actually, the underlying quetion for the OP would be "Why would you reject high school for social/academic reasons, but send them to community college to take one class for fun."  

[Roadrunner]

I have friends with kids at local CC even though our high school is top ranking. Earning UC credit is a big reason they choose CC, but equally important is the flexibility. You can't go to the public school and decide you only want to take couple of classes there, but you can do that with CC. I have friends whose kids are taking some classes from MIT open courseware, some online (because they want a language that local high school doesn't offer, as one example), some at CC (because their kid is beyond standard calculus and is working on linear algebra), some at home (more customized versus generic class in English to cater to a child's interest). I think if our local public school would allow homeschoolers to take any class they wanted, some would do just that, but reality is CC is the only place you can actually have that flexibility. I know of a homeschooler who managed to take 3 semesters of physics and electric engineering classes at CC, an option unavailable in our PS. So, don't discount the flexibility. That's the only reason we might opt to go CC way instead of local HS. 

 

It's not the low opinion of high school students. It's an inflexibility of a current HS structure. 

[MinivanMom]

I have friends with kids at local CC even though our high school is top ranking. Earning UC credit is a big reason they choose CC, but equally important is the flexibility. You can't go to the public school and decide you only want to take couple of classes there, but you can do that with CC. I have friends whose kids are taking some classes from MIT open courseware, some online (because they want a language that local high school doesn't offer, as one example), some at CC (because their kid is beyond standard calculus and is working on linear algebra), some at home (more customized versus generic class in English to cater to a child's interest). I think if our local public school would allow homeschoolers to take any class they wanted, some would do just that, but reality is CC is the only place you can actually have that flexibility. I know of a homeschooler who managed to take 3 semesters of physics and electric engineering classes at CC, an option unavailable in our PS. So, don't discount the flexibility. That's the only reason we might opt to go CC way instead of local HS. 

 

It's not the low opinion of high school students. It's an inflexibility of a current HS structure. 

 

Oh, I agree that this is probably the reason most homeschoolers make this choice.

 

But threads like this tend bring out some pretty crazy comments about high schools and high school students in general. I don't think it's surprising that those comments and generalizations are going to be offensive. We have a diverse group of women on these boards and some of them have chosen to send their kids to public or private high school. If we want our choices as homeschoolers to be treated with respect, then I think we need to speak respectfully of those who make other choices.

[The Girls' Mom]

If my post led anyone to think that I think high school STUDENTS or TEACHERS are inferior, I in no way meant that.  I just find the blanket statement that CC is somehow more dangerous laughable.  I do think the PS system in general is broken, but I don't blame the people that attend there or the teachers that are trying to make it work.  I also realize that there are some awesome schools out there, but there are also a lot of really bad ones.  

[The Girls' Mom]

I should probably add that I gave my girls the choice to go back to public school this year, so obviously I don't think the schools are of the devil or anything.  They made the choice to stay home because of the flexibility it allows.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Oh, I agree that this is probably the reason most homeschoolers make this choice.

 

But threads like this tend bring out some pretty crazy comments about high schools and high school students in general. I don't think it's surprising that those comments and generalizations are going to be offensive. We have a diverse group of women on these boards and some of them have chosen to send their kids to public or private high school. If we want our choices as homeschoolers to be treated with respect, then I think we need to speak respectfully of those who make other choices.

The OP gave a personal example of someone who did not treat her or her son with respect.  All she asked for was for solutions to that social situation.  No crazy comments about high schools, high school students, community colleges or their students or homeschoolers in general necessary.  

[foxbridgeacademy]

Our CC had a homeschooler as one of the keynote speakers this year.

 

That said, I do wonder about this. Obviously CC is hardly Harvard. We take everyone and anyone. We are the land of second chances. We treat everyone like adults. It never ceases to amaze me that homeschoolers who reject our well-funded public schools, or at least, better funded, with typical children, and instead send their children to CC where they have the opportunity to hobnob with single mothers, dyslexics in their fifth year, ex cons, international students fromSaudi, and all manner of random people.

 

While it makes sense for many, I cannot wrap my head around the fact that the high school's IB program, no, too socially harsh, but our classes.. Yes. That's the socialization you want. With the veterans and their PTSD support animals.

 

Don't get me wrong. I went to CC. I work at one. But it IS hard to understand the social homeschoolers' motivations when they send their kids here. I wish someone could explain it.

Why would I send my child to CC over High School, in particular for socializing opportunities? First. I'd rather they spend time with the dyslexics (my son is dyslexic) single mothers, ex-cons, people from other countries, vets, even those with PTSD, also known as real people.  High School is a dangerous place for the developing mind.  Bullies, horrible teachers, being treated like a criminal and prisoner when you've committed no crime.  At least at CC you get treated like a human being and not watched suspiciously just in case you might do something wrong.  

 

The main reason though is that what they are learning actually counts for something and they won't have to spend 1/2 their day doing busy work or waiting for the teacher to get her/his stuff together.  Instead they'll be exposed to real people with real ideas and this will eventually lead to a degree from a University.

 

ETA: Not on topic I know.  What I would say to a fil who said those things doesn't bear repeating and would not be helpful.

[shawthorne44]

Actually, the underlying quetion for the OP would be "Why would you reject high school for social/academic reasons, but send them to community college to take one class for fun."  

 

Well, in the OP's case it was to ease into the college experience.  

[Clear Creek]

I really think that this highlights the low opinion you have of public school students.

 

See, about half of my family are veterans.

 

But also, my neighbor teaches honors English at a high school.

 

I have a high opinion of vets and have the opportunity to serve them daily.

 

But you will see me and my kids in public schools all. Day. Long.

 

You guys don't get it.

 

I'm not the one having my children avoid anybody.

 

Not the kids in the IB program.

 

Not the kids in the alternative classes.

 

Not the vets.

 

Not the disabled.

 

Not the kids who've been moved from place to place with a military family and who are under stress--indeed that IS my family.

 

I'm not the one who is not in the CC and public primary schools every day because I'm concerned about what my kids will face. I'm here. I'm all in.

 

No, I'm here and I deal with people and see them (though I am too sensitive to work on student services).

 

What I hear from many homeschoolers regularly is how crappy our schools are, how crappy the society is.

 

But community college, this is where you can send your child at 14-18 and somehow, at the underfunded CC, that's okay. Where instructors earn less than the teachers in the primary schools. LOL!

 

THAT is the disconnect.

 

My whole life is serving these populations, rich and poor.

 

And I don't get why the same people who are worried about their kids being exposed to bad behavior in HS are so confident it cannot happen at CC.

 

Being a vet doesn't make you nice. Neither does being a single mom.

 

Sexual assault happens as do drugs.

 

People are so stuck on this idea that HS is the worst possible place for a kid because some people have negative experiences and all anyone can say is how community college is different.

 

I don't think everyone needs high school socialization but I also don't get the fear.

 

I'm not afraid of high school so yeah, it blows my mind that someone would fear high schoolers and not ex-cons.

 

You see... I don't get it because I don't get the fear. Period.

 

To me, it's like... Once you are afraid of one state institution, why not all of them?

 

Fear popular girls? Why not also hide from single moms? Neither of those groups bother me so to me I don't get what the distinguishing factor is.

 

Fear football bullies? Why not fear ex cons?

 

Fear rude hallway glances but not fear someone dealing drugs?

 

Fear anonymity in crowded hallways but not... Anonymity in crowded hallways?

 

It's not that vets are scary to me. Hah! No! It's that neither are cheerleaders or cliques or football players or goths or bad French teachers. To me, if a cheerleader making a snide remark is scary, why isn't a recovering addict scary? I don't get the distinction because I hang out with everyone.

 

What are you afraid of in high school, if not other people?

 

And if it is other people, why are CC students exempt?

 

And if you're not afraid... Well... Anxious? Uncomfortable? What is the social aspect of homeschooling, if not a worry that something could happen in HS?

 

I think the fear is so obvious to you all that you cannot imagine I don't share it. But I don't. I feel like people on this thread are basically saying, "well sure colleges have sexual assault and people with mental health issues and drugs but there are no popular kids!"

 

Because you know. A cheerleader with a snide remark is the worst thing that could happen to a kid. Much worse than (and yes this happens) someone walking down the hall flipping out over financial aid and upturning tables. How dare I compare a vet with PTSD to someone as horrible as a public schooler!

 

That vet was almost certainly a public schooler you know. It is the same person.

 

School or Unschool how you want. But if you tell me Ps is scary and CC is not then I'm going to try to figure out what is scary in one and not the other.

 

All those kids you want to avoid in PS. They don't disappear when they graduate. Do you have to deal with them? No. But you might of you come to CC.

 

Calling you out on a demeaning statement you made about disabled veterans means I have a low opinion of public school students? Forgive me, but I don't follow your logic. I have no problem with public school students, and I never said I did. Choosing a different educational path does not mean I have a low opinion of any student in the other paths. I know and like plenty of public schoolers...heck, my oldest's BFF is public schooled.

 

None of the statements you made in your post apply to me. I am not afraid of anything except for spiders, rats, and scorpions. I am not afraid of students, public schools, or any of that. I have relatives and friends that work in the local high school, and I go there regularly (with my kids!) to attend plays and concerts. It is not a scary place, and I have not taught my kids to be afraid of it.

 

The local high school encourages students to dual enroll at the CC, so I am not sure why my kids would ever avoid it just because they are homeschooled. It is not uncommon for public school students to graduate with a year or two of college under their belt. I attended the local CC myself (as a veteran, lol), and it is not a scary place either. When my kids are old enough I will have no trouble sending my kids there.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Well, in the OP's case it was to ease into the college experience.  

Precisely!  

[Hunter]

Tsuga, wow! I don't know where to start. Just...

Wow!

 

I think you have a very narrow understanding of the whole of the homeschooling community. I certainly did NOT homeschool my boys to shelter them. :lol:

 

Yes, there were sheltered kids at the CC my boys attended. My older son didn't interact with them at all, because he really didn't know how; he had spent the past couple years working out on the docks with grown men. The younger son was a 2E kid and really didn't interact with people in general.

 

My boys told me about meeting the type of kids that I guess you are talking about. I never met them myself. None of the homeschoolers we knew well fit that description.

 

Both of my boys started at the CC underage, but as freshman. They were never there as a replacement to high school. When they were DONE homeschooling, able to drive themselves there, and were holding jobs that paid enough to put themselves through college, that was when they started. The older was 16 and the younger was 17.

 

Especially with the older son, the teachers usually did not know he was underage. The first week a teacher asked him to remove some porno from one of the computers to make sure the women didn't see it. You may have underage homeschoolers in your class and not know it.

 

My older was always the one leading the complaints to a teacher that the class wasn't getting their money's worth from that teacher. If you have a rude big mouth like that in your class, maybe that is one of your homeschoolers. :lol:

 

My boys were not sheltered. :lol: They just started college early. And since they were putting themselves through college, it was all they could afford.

 

Maybe the sheltered homeschoolers stand out to you. I don't believe they are the default, though. I'm not there. I don't know what is going on in your corner. But the world of homeschooled teens is whole lot bigger than sheltered kids.

[EmseB]

Is anyone else but me finding this thread really strange?  Like I must be missing something?  Did I miss a post where someone talked about being afraid of public schools?  I'm so confused.

[kalusignan]

 With the veterans and their PTSD support animals.

 

 

 

Woah.

 

I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to say with this statement. I'm trying not to take personal offense. What's wrong with a veteran with PTSD that trying to better themselves? (Going to a class at a CC is actually very difficult for somebody with PTSD) Sounds like a great example to me.....

 

My husband is a veteran with TBI and PTSD, and while he qualifies for a service dog, he has chosen against it for the time being. That may change in the future. I'm glad the option is there for him. I'm glad that my children can watch him persevere and support him through his struggles. What an awesome witness to show that things don't always go the way the you expect them to, but we can make the best of it. I hope my children have the opportunity to know more people in this world who have and are overcoming life's hardships.

[Tsuga]

Did you really just lump single mothers, dyslexics, and international students in with ex-cons?  

 

Yikes!  Anyone one else you'd care to insult today?

 

You know, I really think that I am not expressing myself well on this thread.

 

So let me state clearly that the reason I don't think that I've insulted anybody is that I don't think being compared to a public school student is an insult.

 

I don't think it's insulting to be compared to a single mom because I WAS A SINGLE MOM.

 

I don't think it's insulting to be compared to an ex-con because MY DAD WAS CONVICTED OF A FELONY AND SERVED TIME. And he reformed. And he has a great heart. And we have incredible students who are ex-cons.

 

I don't think it's insulting to be compared to public school kids because THOSE ARE MY KIDS.

 

I don't think it's insulting to be compared to a vet because THAT IS MY FAMILY.

 

It's people on this thread who are assuming negative things about all the groups I've mentioned. I haven't put value on it except to say, I don't see how someone can say that if you believe your child will be harmed in public school due to social factors, I cannot understand how being around the exact same population, but older and narrowed down to weed out everyone who is rich* and/or talented enough to go straight to a four-year college, would be any better.

 

Does that make sense?

 

*Let's just say first world rich--certainly, everyone who is paying anything for a four-year is working extremely hard and has more money than many people have. I realize we are not talking 1%ers who are scraping by to send their kid to Colorado State or something.

[kalusignan]

You know, I really think that I am not expressing myself well on this thread.

 

So let me state clearly that the reason I don't think that I've insulted anybody is that I don't think being compared to a public school student is an insult.

 

 

 

ummmm....I don't think it was that. It was assuming all homeschoolers are afraid of the people you mentioned.