Career, future plans guidance? feeling discouraged, need direction

[Janeway]

My 14 yr old has no clue of the direction he wants to go in the future. In fact, I am feeling a little down on my home schooling. He is very smart, but quite bored with school. He rushes through everything and has little interest in anything. I can't help but feel like if he were at school, he would have to slow down and spend more time on any given subject, and he might enjoy it more as a result. At home, there are tons of distractions of life going on. At school, even though all the other kids and such are quite distracting, when he is in math class, he has to do math. He does not have the option of whining and complaining that he would rather be in art and then wandering off. 

 

He is in an outsourced class and loving it. He never complains about the home work. He just does it. 

 

I ask him what he is thinking he would like to do in his future, as in, college, and such. I see a lot of people posting that their child is STEM bound so needs this or that, or another person, their child is music bound, or business, etc. I have no idea where my child is headed! I only assume STEM because most people in my family do that. He is pretty well good at all his academic subjects, but gets bored now. 

 

What can I do to help him find his direction? And can one really plan much for high school with no idea on this?

[DebbS]

Of course he doesn't know what he wants to do in the future. He's only 14! If he did know, he'd probably change his mind by next year anyway. Very few adults end up doing what they thought they wanted to do at age 14.

 

High school is a good time to get a well-rounded education before moving on to focusing in one subject area. In 9th and 10th grade the standard curriculum that includes English with Composition and Literature, Math, Science, and History or some other Social Science and a Foreign Language seems to do the trick and are also the courses that would be expected in any other public or private school.

 

It is even quite normal to start college without a definite direction. Even those students who think they know what they want to do end up changing their major in the first few years. My son had no idea what he wanted to major in and took a gap year to get a little more work experience. From that, he developed some ideas of what he wants and does not want to do, and is now pursuing his career goal in college. He's doing great!

[Sunshine State Sue]

Let me encourage you.  I used to call ds bright, but unmotivated.  He really had no idea about a major or career, but we had a sneaking suspicion that he would go STEM.  He plays basketball and had many coaches calling him from small liberal arts schools during recruiting time.  I suggested it would be best to go to a school that had a college of arts and sciences and a college of engineering because he was undecided, and it would be best to not shut the door on engineering.

 

He is now a sophomore at a STEM school.  I have been amazed and relieved and humbled (how could I have ever doubted?) by his attitude and maturity.  I don't know if it has to do with being surrounded by peers who are just as bright or having peers that are motivated or peer competition or what.  I don't care, I'm just thrilled to witness the transformation.  And, I'm proud of him.

 

What can I do to help him find his direction? And can one really plan much for high school with no idea on this?

The ACT makes suggestions on careers and there are career tests, but I never found them very helpful.  When we visited colleges, I would ask what resources the school had to help students determine what they wanted to major in.  Honestly, I figured it wasn't my job to figure out his major.  It was going to be his job.  Not that I didn't throw in my 2c about the pros/cons of various majors.  We have lots of STEM folks in our extended family as well.

 

You can make sure that he has at least 4 credits of english, math, science.  A couple of credits of history, foreign language.  Some computer programming.  Then, you can expose him to a variety of subjects.  Community college is great for this.  Is it available to you?

 

One funny conversation I remember was at the end of an Honors Western Humanities class that focused on the Baroque period.  He told me that he had a terrific teacher, nice classmates, easy A grade, but it was NOTHING he was remotely interested in pursuing any further.

 

Good luck!

[JanetC]

He knows he's bored. You know he's bored. Why can't you crank up the challenge?

 

Honestly, 9th grade courses can be pretty much the same regardless of career path. English, math, history, science, foreign language. Sometimes a kid asks for something out of the ordinary, and as homeschoolers we can oblige, but there is nothing wrong with doing typical subjects.

[Sunshine State Sue]

You may want to search for 'career' in this pinned thread.

[Sunshine State Sue]

He knows he's bored. You know he's bored. Why can't you crank up the challenge?

 

:iagree: Meant to mention that he needs to be challenged.  Another reason I'd suggest CC as soon as it's available.

 

[Janeway]

He knows he's bored. You know he's bored. Why can't you crank up the challenge?

 

Honestly, 9th grade courses can be pretty much the same regardless of career path. English, math, history, science, foreign language. Sometimes a kid asks for something out of the ordinary, and as homeschoolers we can oblige, but there is nothing wrong with doing typical subjects.

I don't really know how to. I don't know many home schoolers of high school. All I am getting is what is on this board really. I know some people who are nice, have high schoolers, but are quite different from us. For one, we do not have all the money for outside courses like some. I know we will do community college eventually. 

[regentrude]

I don't really know how to. I don't know many home schoolers of high school. All I am getting is what is on this board really. I know some people who are nice, have high schoolers, but are quite different from us. For one, we do not have all the money for outside courses like some. I know we will do community college eventually. 

 

You can challenge a bright teen without outsourcing:

Use a challenging math curriculum that makes him think.

Assign, or let him choose, interesting and challenging literature.

Use college texts for non majors for his science.

Use college level lectures from the Great Courses for his history and lit studies.

Give him time to freely explore and work on independent projects.

 

14 year old boys are typically not excited about school. I don't see why we should expect them to be excited about homeschool.

They don't need to know what they want - the parent's job is to give a high school education that leaves all doors open.

Give him a broad college prep education, with four years of English, math, science, history and if possible foreign language. Then he can figure out later what he wants to do with his life, without doors having been closed by too narrow schooling.

 

ETA: I do not see why a label "STEM" kid or "Humanities" kid would make any difference.  First of all, I strongly dislike putting kids into boxes that often become self fulfilling prophesies. Second, a kid can very well be both and have broad talents. Third, if high school is the last chance of exposing a STEM kid to history, history deserves special attention because of that - just like a humanities inclined kid would need especially strong high school science because he won't have that much exposure in college.

So, there need not be any difference - you might as well stop thinking about labeling.

[klmama]

As you've already seen, outsourced classes can be a great move.  Knowing that someone outside the family will see their work tends to make them put in more effort. 

 

Do you require him to do research?  I've found that one of my dc NEEDS to do research in order to enjoy learning. 

 

Do you schedule discussion time with him, or does he do everything independently?  While it's easier on the parent to let a student do it all alone, requiring students to discuss the material helps them develop a deeper understanding of it, which tends to lead to greater interest.

 

Does he have any electives?  It may be that some of his boredom stems from only studying the same subjects he always has. 

[Janeway]

As you've already seen, outsourced classes can be a great move.  Knowing that someone outside the family will see their work tends to make them put in more effort. 

 

Do you require him to do research?  I've found that one of my dc NEEDS to do research in order to enjoy learning. 

 

Do you schedule discussion time with him, or does he do everything independently?  While it's easier on the parent to let a student do it all alone, requiring students to discuss the material helps them develop a deeper understanding of it, which tends to lead to greater interest.

 

Does he have any electives?  It may be that some of his boredom stems from only studying the same subjects he always has. 

He does art and karate. I can see he is getting bored with karate. He says he is happy with it. He would really like a classic club or competition type thing. But I think he would prefer one at a club over just going online and taking tests. He would like people to interact with.

[G5052]

14 year old boys are typically not excited about school. I don't see why we should expect them to be excited about homeschool.

They don't need to know what they want - the parent's job is to give a high school education that leaves all doors open.

Give him a broad college prep education, with four years of English, math, science, history and if possible foreign language. Then he can figure out later what he wants to do with his life, without doors having been closed by too narrow schooling.

 

ETA: I do not see why a label "STEM" kid or "Humanities" kid would make any difference.  First of all, I strongly dislike putting kids into boxes that often become self fulfilling prophesies. Second, a kid can very well be both and have broad talents. Third, if high school is the last chance of exposing a STEM kid to history, history deserves special attention because of that - just like a humanities inclined kid would need especially strong high school science because he won't have that much exposure in college.

So, there need not be any difference - you might as well stop thinking about labeling.

 

Same here. Don't label a teen; give them a broad, solid education that will give them the foundation to go multiple ways.

 

I have STEM degrees and teach at the college level, but the majority of my paid work is in the humanities. Being well-balanced is important for any field, but you really don't know what they'll be doing in 20 years. 

 

And frankly it's OK if they don't know. My son was just like that at 14, and we really struggled with figuring out which direction to go in college applications a year ago. He finally decided just to go locally at the community college and explore even though he got into some selective schools. Just before high school graduation he got a little interested in accounting and business, so we put that into his schedule for the first semester. And he's happy with that  :hurray: . He's doing particularly well with accounting and is planning on that or a business analytics focus when he transfers to a 4-year school. One of his "buds" is at the same community college and has a similar story. He could have gone anywhere, but just didn't know what he wanted to do. He's going to take an extra year at the community college because he started out in criminal justice, but he's settled on engineering now and is doing great. He and my son are planning together on 4-year schools. So it can work out!

[angela in ohio]

My middle dd was like that. She really preferred learning in a classroom environment instead of on her own. People have different personalities, so I decided to honor that.  I put her in more outside classes, mostly dual enrollment. She is thriving. 

 

As to knowing what they want to do... I gave mine a broad education from K-10 or so, then about 10th grade they hit a point where they started choosing a path. At that point, I tailored things, though not totally. I wanted them to have a broad education. I think you still have plenty of time. He might also not figure it out until college. If he is good at school across the board, there are a LOT of choices.

[MarkT]

1)  I can't help but feel like if he were at school, he would have to slow down and spend more time on any given subject, and he might enjoy it more as a result. At home, there are tons of distractions of life going on. At school, even though all the other kids and such are quite distracting, when he is in math class, he has to do math. He does not have the option of whining and complaining that he would rather be in art and then wandering off. 

 

2) He is in an outsourced class and loving it. He never complains about the home work. He just does it. 

 

 

1) What are your school options? ( a lot depends on your residence state) such as charter schools or virtual schools.  Is he a "Freshman" now?

 

2) Outsource more classes - Mathand science for example are good subjects to outsource - there are some cheaper options if money is an issue.

 

Personally I don't think Community College for a 14 y.o. boy is a good fit. IMHO.

[J-rap]

That's the age where you just expose them to as much as possible, without worrying that they need to choose their path.

 

Are there some community ed activities you can get him involved in?  Ours offers quite a variety:  art, weather, the solar system, theater, biking, etc.  Things like that would help him feel less bored, while at the same time, allow him to explore different interests.