Parking ticket, 2 teenage friends in car, who pays?

[Tap]

Two teenage friends are in a car.  

#1 is not used to the city.  #1 is the driver and owner of the car.  

#2 is a bit more used to visiting the city.

Both live in another city, which is across the state line, so parking rules may a bit different, but both states laws/rules are still logical and laws/rules are posted clearly. 

 

 

They are looking for parking in a city at 11pm on a Saturday night.  #2 sees a parking lot with a 'monthly parking' sign and sees other people parking there.  #2 says something like 'lets park there, the sign doesn't say you have to pay to park at night'. Other parking lots' signs list  hourly daytime and hourly night time rates, so this makes sense to both #1&2.  #1 doesn't question the logic and parks in the monthly lot. They get a $45 parking ticket.  Who pays?

 

They are both from a city where parking is free after 6pm, but this is a different city where they have parking enforcement at night too.  #2 (who is more used to the city) has always been with an adult who paid the parking, so while they have been in the city, they haven't had to deal with parking decisions before. #1 has very little/no city parking experience. 

 

 

 

#1 because they are the driver/owner of the car

#2 because they said "park here" 

#1&2 because they are both at fault.

#3 the parent of #2 who let them go to a city at 11pm, but didn't discuss paying for parking  

#1,2&3 each accepting part of the blame

 

The ticket is $45 and neither teen has a job.  It will come out of chore money and will take both a bit of time to save up but they can realistically have it in less than a month. 

 

 

[clementine]

That's tough - you're probably going to get lots of varying responses.  

 

If my daughter was one of them, I'd suggest that the girls split it.  I feel as if that would cause fewer hard feelings between them.  

[regentrude]

I would feel partly at fault because, as a parent, I failed to teach my teen about this before letting her travel independently. So, since neither have a job, I would chip in.

In order to send the right message, I would not pay for the entire ticket, but make the teens pay a share.

I'd consider it fair for them to split their share. Normally it would be the driver's responsibility to choose parking, but since the driver was too inexperienced and relied on the friend who gave bad advice, they should do what friends do and share the punishment.

 

 

[bluemongoose]

I vote #1 has the responsibility as the driver of the car. I voted other as well because if I were the passenger that helped make the decision I would chip in just because I would feel I should. It would be nice of #2 to help pitch in, but I wouldn't see it as required that they do.

[Word Nerd]

It seems fair for both to split the cost of the ticket. No one was really at fault—it was a simple mistake.

[Miss Peregrine]

Driver. I would call it an experience tax.

[Guest]

The driver.

 

My now-husband caused me to get a GRIP of parking tickets before I cottoned to the system at his school when we were dating. I paid them. It was my car and I was driving and I took his stupid parking advice.

 

We did work together to get it out of the impound when it got towed **three times** though LOL. We have extremely thick heads :laugh: :lol: 

[Suzanne in ABQ]

That's a tough call, as neither of them did anything deviant.  They both misunderstood the sign (yet, "Ignorance of the law is no excuse").  Then again, neither of them picked up their phones to ask their parents or other adult for assistance.  

 

Technically, #1 is the only one who parked the car, so #2 is under no obligation to pay.  But, if my kid were #2, I would make them pay half.  

 

If my kid were #1, I'd remind him that, as driver of the car, he is the responsible party, and I'd remind him not to follow his friend off a cliff.

 

 

[FaithManor]

I would feel partly at fault because, as a parent, I failed to teach my teen about this before letting her travel independently. So, since neither have a job, I would chip in.

In order to send the right message, I would not pay for the entire ticket, but make the teens pay a share.

I'd consider it fair for them to split their share. Normally it would be the driver's responsibility to choose parking, but since the driver was too inexperienced and relied on the friend who gave bad advice, they should do what friends do and share the punishment.

I agree with this.

[Shellydon]

It would be nice for kid 2 to pay half, but it is the driver's responsibility

[Lolly]

Of course, #1 is the responsible party. But, if my kid were kid 2; I would insist that they shoulder half of the responsibility. Because they are friends and they made the decision together. However, kid1 needs to realize that as the driver it is ultimately their responsibility to park legally and follow all traffic rules, and that kid2 is being very nice to pay half.

[catz]

I think it would be nice if kid #2 would pitch in, but I do think it's the driver's actual responsibility.  If I were parent of kid #1, I'd probably help if kid didn't have a job and do a teen workshop with kid #1 on parking and being responsible.

[Ausmumof3]

The driver is fully responsible. If no 2 values the friendship he will acknowledge that it was his mess up and pay half. But there's no obligation. Depending on the attitude of the kid I might chip in as the parent.

[KathyBC]

#1 & #3

[AmandaVT]

The driver is fully responsible. If no 2 values the friendship he will acknowledge that it was his mess up and pay half. But there's no obligation. Depending on the attitude of the kid I might chip in as the parent.

 

Yup - I agree with this. Driver is responsible, but if my kid were #2, I'd suggest she split the ticket.

[abba12]

Drivers responsibility, but I would want to see #1 and #2 split it evenly, ideally. 

[zoobie]

The driver. It's his responsibility. Sucky experience tax, but he has to own that's what happens when you drive a car.

[Tess in the Burbs]

I think #2 should offer to split the cost.  But ultimately #1 is responsible.  

 

I had that happen once....a friend drove, we agreed to park somewhere knowing we were low on quarters.  We rushed back a few min late to pay the fee, but already had a ticket. I offered to pay, but since they had LOTS of other unpaid tickets she declined.  Apparently paying that one would cause more trouble on the others.  

 

Kid #1 has to go with their gut.  If the car had been towed it's their responsibility to know not to park there.  Even if they are a pain, they have to feel ok about it all.   

[dollhouse]

Driver's responsibility. This is just one of those life lessons, unfortunately! It would be classy if the friend chipped in, but I certainly would not expect it.

[Farrar]

The driver is fully responsible. If no 2 values the friendship he will acknowledge that it was his mess up and pay half. But there's no obligation. Depending on the attitude of the kid I might chip in as the parent.

 

This, totally. I'd chip in as the parent but also make them pay. Live and learn, but it's okay to cushion the blow sometimes.

[DesertBlossom]

That's a tough call, as neither of them did anything deviant.  They both misunderstood the sign (yet, "Ignorance of the law is no excuse").  Then again, neither of them picked up their phones to ask their parents or other adult for assistance.  

 

Technically, #1 is the only one who parked the car, so #2 is under no obligation to pay.  But, if my kid were #2, I would make them pay half.  

 

If my kid were #1, I'd remind him that, as driver of the car, he is the responsible party, and I'd remind him not to follow his friend off a cliff.

 

Exactly this. 

[Garga]

Oh my goodness. When I was 17, which was 25 years ago, my friend was driving. We pulled into a lot that was free after 6:30.

 

I always had trouble reading analog clocks and she asked me what time it was. I read my watch and saw that it was just past 6:30. I told her so. She parked.

 

We came back to the car about 30 minutes later to find a cop writing a ticket. That's when we realized I read my watch wrong and it was only 5:30. We told him we misread the watch and he made us feel like utter fools at our "lie". I felt so horrible to have him believe we broke the law on purpose. I offered to pay but my friend said, in a really crabby tone, "No. I'll pay it." I insisted. "NO. Let it go."

 

So I let it go. But it's bugged me for twenty-five stinkin' years. We're still friends. I think I'll mail her $30 tonight just so I can stop regretting that I didn't help pay.

 

I vote that it really is the driver's responsibility, but the passenger should pay half, for her own peace of mind for the next quarter century.

 

P.S. At that age, I would never have expected my parents to chip in and pay. But I was a very independent-minded kid at 17. I was engaged at 18 and married by 19. I didn't expect much from my parents at that point. I never even told them about the incident. Not to be sneaky but because I wouldn't have been able to see why it was their concern. With that kind of upbringing, I probably would not offer to pay a kid's parking ticket. I would figure that if you're old enough to drive, you're old enough to figure out the laws of the road.

[KungFuPanda]

If my kid was either teen, I'd pay it. If it happened again I'd expect the kids to split it.

[unsinkable]

Oh my goodness. When I was 17, which was 25 years ago, my friend was driving. We pulled into a lot that was free after 6:30.

 

I always had trouble reading analog clocks and she asked me what time it was. I read my watch and saw that it was just past 6:30. I told her so. She parked.

 

We came back to the car about 30 minutes later to find a cop writing a ticket. That's when we realized I read my watch wrong and it was only 5:30. We told him we misread the watch and he made us feel like utter fools at our "lie". I felt so horrible to have him believe we broke the law on purpose. I offered to pay but my friend said, in a really crabby tone, "No. I'll pay it." I insisted. "NO. Let it go."

 

So I let it go. But it's bugged me for twenty-five stinkin' years. We're still friends. I think I'll mail her $30 tonight just so I can stop regretting that I didn't help pay.

 

I vote that it really is the driver's responsibility, but the passenger should pay half, for her own peace of mind for the next quarter century.

 

P.S. At that age, I would never have expected my parents to chip in and pay. But I was a very independent-minded kid at 17. I was engaged at 18 and married by 19. I didn't expect much from my parents at that point. I never even told them about the incident. Not to be sneaky but because I wouldn't have been able to see why it was their concern. With that kind of upbringing, I probably would not offer to pay a kid's parking ticket. I would figure that if you're old enough to drive, you're old enough to figure out the laws of the road.

According to the inflation calculator, that $30 is worth over $55 today...

[mamakelly]

Definitely #1. It would be nice if person 2 chipped in, but it's the drivers fault.

[Hikin' Mama]

The driver. One of the responsibilities of driving a car is figuring things like this out. I got a parking ticket a few years ago in a city. I had to pay it whether I knew the city or not. I did by the way, but thought I could be faster than the person giving out parking tickets. I was wrong. Ha ha!

[Excelsior! Academy]

In this *particular* situation, split it equally.  In almost every possible other scenario

the driver is obligated.

[Tap]

I will answer my own question here and give a few details.

 

DD is #2 and is paying half.

 

Driver #1 thinks I should pay the whole thing.  My husband is the one who let them go, so I don't really understand why I should be the one to pay it all  :confused1: , but no matter what she thinks, that isn't going to happen.  LOL  #1 thinks that #2 is completely at fault, and doesn't think she should have to pay at all. 

 

 

DD (friend #2) has already given me the money and I wrote a check for her to pay for half.  She is generous almost to a fault, offered to pay half from the beginning. If her friend presses the issue, she could probably be swayed to pay it all.  She knows that she isn't legally responsible. If the situation was reversed, she wouldn't accept help paying it.   

 

 

I told dd, that if it looks like this is going to cause serious harm to the friendship, I will just pay the remaining half, but she really needs to consider her friendship if it comes to this. I don't want dd to lose a friend over $23.  I am a natural consequences type parent and I feel that my dd is learning her lesson offering to pay half of the ticket.The only reason I would do this is because dh let them go without discussing parking in an area that is hard to find parking in on a weekend night.  The other girl may not have the money to pay it and her dad is going to be really mad if she has to ask him for it, as I doubt he even knows about it. (They went to get Voodoo Donuts in Portland Oregon, and I doubt he knows they were in the city at 11pm but that is a whole nuther discussion about my dh letting them go. LOL)

[regentrude]

 

DD is #2 and is paying half.

 

Driver #1 thinks I should pay the whole thing.  My husband is the one who let them go, so I don't really understand why I should be the one to pay it all  :confused1: , but no matter what she thinks, that isn't going to happen.  LOL  #1 thinks that #2 is completely at fault, and doesn't think she should have to pay at all.

 

That is ridiculous. Why YOU?

[ErinE]

Driver. I would call it an experience tax.

This. Lesson learned: the driver is responsible for the car.

[Guest]

I think it's really weird that parents have ANYthing to do with this at all. From discussing where to park, to paying, it's really (truly) all on the driver. And anything anyone offers her above and beyond her complete responsibility here is just gravy.

[Guest]

Let me also say that ime (a decade ago!) that's a really cheap ticket. She's a lucky one. Pony up that doughnut money!

[ErinE]

Should have read the update.

 

If I were the teen and I knew my friend would get in trouble, I would pay, but only because i valued my friendship.

 

As an adult, I would still think it's the driver's responsibility. I would also encourage my child to refuse city trips with the friend if it will get the friend in trouble.

[momma2three]

Honestly, I don't know how invested I'd be in encouraging my kid to do whatever it takes to maintain the friendship of someone who refuses to take personal responsibility for a pretty minor mistake.

[Tap]

Should have read the update.

 

If I were the teen and I knew my friend would get in trouble, I would pay, but only because i valued my friendship.

 

As an adult, I would still think it's the driver's responsibility. I would also encourage my child to refuse city trips with the friend if it will get the friend in trouble.

LOL that is why I put my response away from the original question.  I didn't want that to skew the results.  

 

To me, if I was a teen who knew their parent would get really mad about something, then you either

1. don't do it or

2. be prepared to face the consequences . 

[Tap]

Honestly, I don't know how invested I'd be in encouraging my kid to do whatever it takes to maintain the friendship of someone who refuses to take personal responsibility for a pretty minor mistake.

I agree.  But there is a much more complex reason why I would do this, than I can put on here.  

[Hikin' Mama]

I will answer my own question here and give a few details.

 

DD is #2 and is paying half.

 

Driver #1 thinks I should pay the whole thing. My husband is the one who let them go, so I don't really understand why I should be the one to pay it all :confused1: , but no matter what she thinks, that isn't going to happen. LOL #1 thinks that #2 is completely at fault, and doesn't think she should have to pay at all.

 

 

DD (friend #2) has already given me the money and I wrote a check for her to pay for half. She is generous almost to a fault, offered to pay half from the beginning. If her friend presses the issue, she could probably be swayed to pay it all. She knows that she isn't legally responsible. If the situation was reversed, she wouldn't accept help paying it.

 

 

I told dd, that if it looks like this is going to cause serious harm to the friendship, I will just pay the remaining half, but she really needs to consider her friendship if it comes to this. I don't want dd to lose a friend over $23. I am a natural consequences type parent and I feel that my dd is learning her lesson offering to pay half of the ticket.The only reason I would do this is because dh let them go without discussing parking in an area that is hard to find parking in on a weekend night. The other girl may not have the money to pay it and her dad is going to be really mad if she has to ask him for it, as I doubt he even knows about it. (They went to get Voodoo Donuts in Portland Oregon, and I doubt he knows they were in the city at 11pm but that is a whole nuther discussion about my dh letting them go. LOL)

Well, I think you are definitely going the extra mile. Sounds like your daughter is very responsible. :)

[bolt.]

I think driver #1 is responsible for making the decision (even though passenger #2 provided bad advice). If mine was #1, wouldn't lead her to expect anyone to help. It's important to learn that decisions rest on 'you' -- regardless of what info you get or trust.

 

However, if mine was #2, I'd encourage her to offer half as an apology for giving bad advice that led to a bad result. It's important to learn that advice has consiquences and honourable people help defray the consiquences if their advice goes wrong. It teaches her to use her advice responsibly, and be sure before she speaks, especially if she is encouraging someone to take a risk.

 

I don't think this is a parent thing. Whether it's chore money, or family allowance, teens who have independent lives should have enough generally-ongoing income to cover snafus -- without the sense that they are being rescued from responsibility on a case-by-case basis. The lesson should be that 'their money' (that could have been spent on anything) is sadly drained away by this mistake.

 

(If the case is that these teens have very little cash, if $22.50 is a massive issue... it might be time to change the cash scheme. They need finances to learn from if they are expected to learn anything about finances in real life.)

[momma2three]

I agree.  But there is a much more complex reason why I would do this, than I can put on here.  

 

That makes sense.

 

Reading between the lines, it sounds like you feel you have good reason to protect this other teen from her parents finding out.  But I also don't think that it does her any favors, in the long run, to completely let her refuse to take any responsibility.  Can you say "Hey, I understand why you don't want your parents to know, but you guys made this decision together, and I can't allow my daughter to pay the full amount for something that was a mutual decision.  It's not a big deal, and everyone gets a ticket for something they didn't know about or understand at some point, and it sucks, but you just have to chalk it up to a life lesson.  I know that you don't have the money right now, but I was going to hire a someone to (do some sort of small chore).  How about I pay you $25 to do it, and you can put that towards your share of the ticket?"

[Danestress]

Honestly, I don't know how invested I'd be in encouraging my kid to do whatever it takes to maintain the friendship of someone who refuses to take personal responsibility for a pretty minor mistake.

On the other hand, if I going to lose a friend, I sure hope it's about anything other than cash. I would pay as child #1 or child #1's parent. I might feel a bit resentful, but I would never let a friendship suffer over this - there was no scam, no con, no greed ... Just a different perspective. If I were the parent of child #2 I would also pay or help my kid figure out how to pay (though I would think it was really odd for someone to think I should). I don't know the backstory here, but as a one time issue, I would rather be pinched than risk hard feeling about less than $50.

[goldberry]

I vote #1 has the responsibility as the driver of the car. I voted other as well because if I were the passenger that helped make the decision I would chip in just because I would feel I should. It would be nice of #2 to help pitch in, but I wouldn't see it as required that they do.

 

:iagree:

 

Ultimately a teen needs to learn that as the driver they are responsible for everything that happens in/with that car, no matter who else is involved.  Friend #2 should pony up, but the responsibility is still on friend #1.

 

ETA, Whoa, just read your update.  Friend #1 is way out of line and needs a lesson in personal responsibility.

[momto10blessings]

Driver. Always the driver.

If the passenger told her to speed up and she did, should the passenger pay for the ticket? No!!!

Passenger would be more than generous to offer to pay for half.

[Word Nerd]

You aren't 1, 2, or 3. How in the world could the driver think *you* should be the one to pay?

[Annie G]

I'm a weirdo. If my kid was driving I'd say she was totally responsible. But if mine was #2 in your scenario, I'd tell her she should pay half. But I don't understand why the other mom would be mad- it was an honest mistake. Stuff like that happens.  

[Petrichor]

If #1 doesn't have the money, and it's important that the friendship isn't hurt, I'd suggest just paying the amount, and letting #2 pay half, and #1 can pay #3 back through chores. 

 

(ETA: That said, I do think the driver is responsible, and voted such. My response was based on the extra info OP provided)

[Haiku]

The driver is responsible. If you're old enough/responsible enough to drive the car to a neighboring city, you're old enough/responsible enough to handle the ticket you get for not obeying the parking laws. 

[Kathryn]

Just guessing here, but is #1 not supposed to have gone in the first place, so she's deflecting blame to try to not get in trouble? It sounds like she was under the care of your family when your husband (#3) said they could go, she drove your daughter (#2) in her own car, but she knew her own father wouldn't have allowed it. Is that correct?

 

I think #1 is legally responsible. I think it's a nice gesture for #2 to offer to pay half. The only thing that would change my answer that I can think of is if #3, #2's parent, knew that #1 was not supposed to go and allowed it. Then I'd think #3 should pay even though legally #1 is responsible.

[Haiku]

I told dd, that if it looks like this is going to cause serious harm to the friendship, I will just pay the remaining half, but she really needs to consider her friendship if it comes to this. I don't want dd to lose a friend over $23.  I am a natural consequences type parent and I feel that my dd is learning her lesson offering to pay half of the ticket.The only reason I would do this is because dh let them go without discussing parking in an area that is hard to find parking in on a weekend night.  The other girl may not have the money to pay it and her dad is going to be really mad if she has to ask him for it, as I doubt he even knows about it. (They went to get Voodoo Donuts in Portland Oregon, and I doubt he knows they were in the city at 11pm but that is a whole nuther discussion about my dh letting them go. LOL)

 

Good grief. Given this quoted portion and the the rest of the update, there is no way I would allow my kid (#2) to pay any portion of this. First, the driver seems utterly ignorant of the fact that her car = her responsibility. Having your dd pay any portion just reinforces the driver's belief that she did nothing wrong, despite the fact that she is responsible for what happens with her car. She has to learn this lesson; she is a dangerous driver if she doesn't. Second, any kid who is willing to dump a friend over a parking ticket isn't much of a friend. Third, no way would I wade into a situation where my kid's friend was out doing things late at night that her parents didn't know about/might not have approved of. I'd stay far out of that. That's between the girl and her father, and if the girl has no money to pay the ticket, that's her problem.

[Caclcoca]

I think that it is admirable that your dd is footing half of the bill.  I voted for the parent to pay, but I thought that the parent was the parent of the driver.  If my child got that parking ticket, I would help pay it, and then spend some time teaching them about parking in the city. I would not ask the non driving child to pay any of it. The next parking ticket would be on my child (the driver).  I don't live in a city, so I hate trying to find parking when I am in one.

[SparklyUnicorn]

The driver hands down.

 

If the signs were confusing, then possibly she could dispute the ticket.