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Need Some Good Energy Today


mommybee
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Three years ago today I got a text from my husband of 18 years that was meant for the girlfriend I didn't know he had. He used terms of endearment to her that I thought were special to me. It broke my heart and changed my life. I haven't healed from it. He moved out and has never wanted to come back even when I was weak and willing to try again.

 

I'm heading to work now but I could really just use some prayers and good energy sent my way today. I can't talk to anyone about it and especially my mom who is very dismissive of my pain. She loves to say I need to get over it and that hurts me.

 

I hate being alone.

 

TIA

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Thanks :)

 

A previous poster mentioned an online therapy option so I think I will try that so I can get some help to move forward.

 

One of the hardest things is that I have had to work and homeschool and in two years my youngest will have to be enrolled in public high school so I can work full time. It's just so new for me cause I have home schooled the other two the whole way. I'm really bad with change.

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((HUGS))  It takes time to heal wounds like that.  I know.  And it sounds like you haven't really embraced the fact he is gone.  You didn't force him to marry you.  You can't force him to stay.  And you need to be able to process that hurt, grieve through it, and then move on.  I hope you can get someone to talk to.  I don't think anyone who hasn't experienced betrayal in your marriage can really understand exactly what you are feeling.  It's a circle of emotions and every day can be different.  Try to seek out a good friend or therapist to talk to. ((hugs))

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((HUGS))  It takes time to heal wounds like that.  I know.  And it sounds like you haven't really embraced the fact he is gone.  You didn't force him to marry you.  You can't force him to stay.  And you need to be able to process that hurt, grieve through it, and then move on.  I hope you can get someone to talk to.  I don't think anyone who hasn't experienced betrayal in your marriage can really understand exactly what you are feeling.  It's a circle of emotions and every day can be different.  Try to seek out a good friend or therapist to talk to. ((hugs))

 

Yeah in a weird way I haven't come to peace with it. We have a really weird relationship right now in that we aren't divorced and he lives pretty close to me. He sees the kids pretty often and that's good. I wish I could explain more but then I would be very identifiable.

 

I really am much better than I was in the beginning. I know that one day I will develop a new life of my own. It's just so slow going. I haven't had one date. I don't have close friends to hang out with. I kind of sound pathetic but on the outside I look like things are great. 

 

A therapist is my next move if I can make myself do it.

 

Thanks for all the good thought and hugs and prayers! Today was a good day. I think that next year I need to take this day back and plan something nice instead of going into my head like I do.

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OP, if you are Christian, the free group Divorce Care which is offered at many churches would likely be a great support to you.

Tried it....I had the unfortunate luck to get a group that wanted hugs all the time even the men and it was held in someone's home and it just made me uncomfortable. It's hard for me to try these things so it took a lot that I did but I couldn't make myself try another group.

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Tried it....I had the unfortunate luck to get a group that wanted hugs all the time even the men and it was held in someone's home and it just made me uncomfortable. It's hard for me to try these things so it took a lot that I did but I couldn't make myself try another group.

I'm really sorry to hear this. I had a great experience with no hugging involved. It was held at a church.
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