When people behave badly

[OnTheBrink]

Boy, ain't that the truth!

 

 

It is, and I'm thankful that I'm exposed to missionaries all over the world who share stories of the real persecution they see in the countries they serve in. I don't think we in the US are truly persecuted at all. But, I've run into those who think they are and it irritates me.

[Michelle T]

Actually, I don't necessarily think people who behave badly are first identified as Christians, unless they have gone out of their way to present themselves as such.

 

BUT, I do see the attitude from Christians that they are better, more moral, higher standards, just generally "above" non-Christians, very frequently. I know Christians who will argue that non-Christians can't even HAVE morals.

 

I'm not AT ALL saying every Christian is like this, but it sure is a common enough attitude. I often think the speaker doesn't even realize their bias, such as when a person says something about "they are Christian kids", as if that alone would keep the kids from "bad behavior". I know loads of homeschoolers who won't allow their nice, Christian kids to even come near those "public schoolers", as if automatically kids who cannot be assumed to be Christian are trouble, non-moral, up to no good.

 

Once a group has set themselves up as being more moral than others, then they are also setting themselves up to being judged on a higher standard. Or, as I see it, they are getting called out on their hypocrisy.

 

Again, before anyone gets all huffy, I realize not all Christians are like this. But plenty are.

Michelle T

[Mekanamom]

Sure, but I am not so proud as to think I "have it all together" either ;)

 

The question I was really trying to ask is what picture non-Christians conjure in their minds when they hear a person is a Christian.

 

As a non-Christian (Agnostic), I kind of brace myself for various possibilities when people identify themselves as a Christian. A lot depends on how, (or in what context) they identify themselves as Christian. I don't jump to any particular conclusion right away because there are many different "kinds of Christians", in my experience- kwim?

 

For instance:

 

Some who are very pushy and exclusionary because of their faith.

 

Some who are very accepting and tolerant because of their faith.

 

LOL. :tongue_smilie:

 

Everyone is an individual... whatever their faith or philosophy. There is some element of choice in what we believe and how we interact with others, right?

[Jill- OK]

...and they happen to be Christians, why is it always the "Christian" part that gets identified first? Isn't bad behavior universal?

 

1) Many Christians come across as 'holier than thou'. Not "Christ in Me is Holier Than Thou", but just plain ol' 'holier than thou', lol. I know very few folks who don't enjoy pointing out the foibles/glaring hypocrises of someone who's truly doing that. (It just feels good, KWIM?)

 

2) The Christian faith, in and of itself, inspires a lot of bad feelings. Whether they're culturally based, or whether it's simply a "I really hate what they believe, in general" kind of thing. If you profess it, you open yourself up to the underlying distaste of many, many folks in this world. They're going to look for a chance to decry either Christianity, or Christians, and it may or may not be justified.

 

::Shrug::

 

Someone else already mentioned that God can absolutely use bad intent for good in the life of a believer. I have a pretty decent life, compared to other believers, elsewhere in the world, who are really, truly persecuted, so I'm not even going to compare being shocked when I see someone agree with what I consider hate-filled, prejudical statements against me, whether directly or through statements about my brothers and sisters, or my faith in general with outright, full-on 'persecution'...but I will say that the same potential exists for self-examination in these situations.

 

There also exists the potential to just get angry, and try to get some understanding, or 'protest' the (perceived or actual) inequity.

 

The short end of my point (and I do have one) is that sometimes folks jump wholeheartedly on those acting goofy with the "Christian" label because it feels good to be able to point out hypocrisy, when someone making a statement has a visible standard you can compare them with, that they publicly hold (it's hard to call someone on the carpet if they don't have any sort of affiliation with definable 'rules', isn't it?)...and sometimes it's simply a feeling about Christianity looking for a reason to voice itself.

 

I have to admit, I'm torn between finding it funny that folks also have a problem with Christians making similar statements ("I can't believe a Christian would do something like that!") about others who supposedly share their faith, and feeling really, really despondent that the "d@mned if you do, d@mned if you don't" sentiment behind this isn't obvious.

[lynn]

I am picking on you again, just because Parrothead quoted you, and I had the chance to reread your post. :001_smile:

 

If the bad behavior of Christians "shouldn't be", does that mean it is acceptable for other groups to misbehave? If your perception is that Christians should be better than everybody else, that could be the reason for your dissappointment.

 

 

You are making me think deeper....lol No, not acceptable to misbehave. I have been in a church where they have "care groups" then when a need arose there is no caring, life goes on as usual, or the gossiping etc the simple things is what I was referring to. I feel sometimes I am treated better in non christian circles than in the church but if I get hurt of disappointed it's not acceptable but easier to overcome because I won't get a profound, doctroninal response that makes me feel more alienated, when all I would like is an apology or work together overcome the wrong that was done. Are christians set to a higher standard, absolutely is there room for error, sure but then like anyone else they should be willing to accept responsibility for their actions and do what can be done and just respond with "I'm not perfect".

[Laura Corin]

I think this is fair. How has this experience influenced your perception of other Christians?

 

I have great respect for good, fallible people, whether they are following a particular philosophy, or just finding their own ways. I do understand that we are all liable to fail to meet ideals that we set for ourselves.

 

However, those who spend their time talking about their Christian faith, referring to those following other paths as less moral or worthy, leave themselves with less leeway in my eyes when they do fail. If you (general 'you') build yourself a pedestal, and tell me that others' footholds are just marshmallow, then I really am going to notice if you fall off.

 

My friend's father sat me down at his daughter's 21st birthday party, handed me a whisky, and asked about my lack of faith. He had a lot of intellectual curiosity, and I enjoyed talking to him. I just can't get the other scene out of my head though.

 

Laura

[Tina]

Kind of like when homeschoolers do something really bad, they emphasize how they were homeschooled?? ;)

[beansprouts]

I have had very different experiences. I went through a period of time where the people with whom I surrounded myself all betrayed me in some way and hurt me deeply. Then I began attending a church and found it such a relief to be around people whom I could trust. It is interesting how our experiences can influence our biases.