flyingiguana Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 The posted article was, um, interesting. I am now questioning the judgement of the university in keeping this guy. He's obviously got a thing about being suggestive with younger females who happen to be under his control. If I were a lawyer for this university, I would not want to keep this guy on. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Only me Posted October 27, 2015 Author Share Posted October 27, 2015 Yes the email was even more "interesting". This guy seems to be friends with the chancellor of the university so I doubt he will be going anywhere anytime soon. Of course my daughter would never base her decision to leave on one small event but it just adds a bit to her dislike of the atmosphere of the school. It's just not the best fit for her. Unfortunately due to other circumstances she made a pretty quick decision picking this school. She will most likely stay there for the year but might consider transferring next year. One thing I've learned . I am not good at getting to the point. Others stated things much better than I did. Of course the link helped. Also I probably should have waited to post until after my fever broke. I've been sick all week and my brain doesn't seem to be functioning that well. Oh and yes I originally thought it was sent out to the whole school but after reading a few more articles (there are several) it was just the one dorm. Still creepy but not quite the same thing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 I agree, inappropriate. But one 26 year old sending out to 300? I was imagining a school of thousands and thousands (I went to one of the largest public universities - enrollment 50,000+) getting something with the school president's seal of approval. Honestly, stupid one off stuff can happen ANYWHERE. If he's been reprimanded, I'd let it go and tell your daughter be completely ready to report if this guy crossed any lines again. If the behavoir of one idiot will affect how you feel about a school, you may not be happy at any school. Oh gosh - I just read the article. I know a number of people who go or who have gone to this school. I live in the upper midwest. He sounds like a nut bunny. I'm surprised he wasn't fired. Like I said, I'd be ready to complain again if he steps one toe over the line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 OK, I read the linked article, and it says the invitation to hold a forum in the basement or to talk individually was in the context of his apologizing and wanting to work on finding a better way to deal with the issue. (I misunderstood from the way pps paraphrased it.) The email was a forward of something written by some woman in New Zealand, someone who apparently considers the female "O" as a serious subject (as do many women). Doesn't prove anything one way or the other, but to me, the evidence I've seen says don't rush to judgment. For contrast, I have read of the Girl Scouts presenting information about enjoying sex at a conference designed for school girls. I haven't heard of anyone being fired over that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 Honestly, I find it more inAppropriate knowing the details. An admin or faculty, the whole school? That's a fundamental misunderstanding of email at work. A housing manager, only his charges, follow up in the basement? What the heck? This guy has the keys to the rooms? I would not be at all mollified by the offer to discuss this privately or in the basement on Wednesday afternoon. I don't want to know why you sent out an email on the female orgasm. I want to know who hired you and what your qualifications are to manage a dormitory. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian (a lady) Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 Honestly, I find it more inAppropriate knowing the details. An admin or faculty, the whole school? That's a fundamental misunderstanding of email at work. A housing manager, only his charges, follow up in the basement? What the heck? This guy has the keys to the rooms? I would not be at all mollified by the offer to discuss this privately or in the basement on Wednesday afternoon. I don't want to know why you sent out an email on the female orgasm. I want to know who hired you and what your qualifications are to manage a dormitory. I was also bothered more by the details in the article. A larger scale email by someone that doesn't have routine contact with individual students maintains some mental distance. It wouldn't feel personal. The closeness in age, but disparity in position and authority is also disconcerting. The suggestion of meeting privately with concerned students. No thanks. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 The email sounds inappropriate. I'm not sure what that has to do with your DD not finding her niche at the uni, though? In a mid-size school, there are going to be all sorts of people, many many of them not participating in the booze and party culture. Perhaps she should get involved in some major or special interest-focused clubs? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikin' Mama Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 OK, I read the linked article, and it says the invitation to hold a forum in the basement or to talk individually was in the context of his apologizing and wanting to work on finding a better way to deal with the issue. (I misunderstood from the way pps paraphrased it.) The email was a forward of something written by some woman in New Zealand, someone who apparently considers the female "O" as a serious subject (as do many women). Doesn't prove anything one way or the other, but to me, the evidence I've seen says don't rush to judgment. For contrast, I have read of the Girl Scouts presenting information about enjoying sex at a conference designed for school girls. I haven't heard of anyone being fired over that. I don't find the content inappropriate for adult women, I find the fact that *he* sent it out to women who had not requested it of *him.* I don't think this should fall under *his* job description in any way, shape, or form. He seems a little (a lot) clueless to me that he would want to go discuss anything with the students once he found out that many found it inappropriate. A neutral third party would be the best to go to the students and ask their opinions on how things of this nature should be handled in the future. A university offering classes or seminars on sex and emailing the students as to dates and times and an overview of content covered...perfectly appropriate. A dorm director sending explicit info on sexual pleasure of women out to the dorm residents...NOT appropriate. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Having seen the newer details - this situation is lame, but it does not surprise me. It's pretty common in my experience for there to be a significant gap between the academic side of the university, and the student side. Student unions for example, are run by and for the student, in many places they are the ones who collect student fees or comparable funds, and are in charge of things like "Sex Week" administering clubs, and so on. Often, residences and that aspect of student life is much more connected to the student Union, or a similar body, than it is to the university proper. In a lot of places, the culture in the student union or equivalent organization is pretty lame. Something like a "Sex Week" that might have a lot of good ideas behind it is promoted in as immature a way as possible. People who are attracted to that sort of role are sometimes the people that really like to party. This guy sounds like the residence counselor who led the orientation at the university I attended - he was about 28 but still lived in a dorm, pretty much because his interests were those of a 21 year old. He was a nice guy, but not the sort of person I would expect to be discriminating about things like what to email around. I was really glad that that was not the culture in my college, because while I am not a prude, I find that sort of thing really lame. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Thinking about this some more. On the one hand this does not bother me one bit. On the other hand, you said she was appalled. I think if she is appalled she should say something. Maybe nothing comes of her saying something, but this really is her thing to deal with. Whatever you think about it doesn't really matter (no offense). That's what being an adult is about. So she has every right to feel how she feels and she can say something if she wants to. Then again sometimes in life you just have to say this isn't worth jumping up and down about. Delete the message and move on. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 "Oh Good Grief mom! Where was this guy's brain?" I've got a good guess. :lol: The posted article was, um, interesting. I am now questioning the judgement of the university in keeping this guy. He's obviously got a thing about being suggestive with younger females who happen to be under his control. If I were a lawyer for this university, I would not want to keep this guy on. Ditto - until his brain relocates and I wouldn't hold my breath on that happening. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 A follow up discussion in the basement? Creep meter is pegging out. Ugh. Shudder. Maybe *not* letting him have master keys would be a good idea.............. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 If a similar email came out titled "how to please your man in bed" I'd expect an uproar. Is this all that different? From a feminist perspective, the message I get is that a woman has to perform properly. And that if a man just learns a few tricks he can pick up chicks easily and get them into bed. So, yeah, anyway you look at it it's kind of an icky message to send out and not really appropriate for an academic environment. This would be my biggest issue. However, let's face it...some pointers could be had. Just sayin'. I have no problem with Sex Week in general, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 The email sounds inappropriate. I'm not sure what that has to do with your DD not finding her niche at the uni, though? In a mid-size school, there are going to be all sorts of people, many many of them not participating in the booze and party culture. Perhaps she should get involved in some major or special interest-focused clubs? Also, I agree here. Some schools are "party schools" but even then it is easy to find your niche with those who aren't there to party. I went to a top party school and certainly didn't party my way through. In fact, I was a single mom! But most students in my classes weren't there to party, either. But I didn't stay in a dorm, so I don't know that culture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 I would be absolutely appalled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laundrycrisis Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 I'm not a prude. I'm all for open dialogue, but that email sounds creepy. Also IMO anything about sex should be offered in a way that makes it sound appealing. This doesn't sound appealing - just sensationalist and cheap - tacky. Yuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Oh my gosh, did you guys read this part of the article? What. The. Heck. Two years ago, when Legiste was a graduate student at LSU, he wrote a blog post aimed at student affairs administrators under the subject header: "Dating Students? Why Not?" "We work in an environment where there could potentially be tens of thousands of beautiful young men and women. It's only natural that we'll be attracted to at least some of them. And sometimes they will be attracted to us too." Legiste wrote that he learned in his first graduate course not to date a person when there is a power disparity within the organization, "YET, who are we to prevent the manifestation of love?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Oh my gosh, did you guys read this part of the article? What. The. Heck. Two years ago, when Legiste was a graduate student at LSU, he wrote a blog post aimed at student affairs administrators under the subject header: "Dating Students? Why Not?" "We work in an environment where there could potentially be tens of thousands of beautiful young men and women. It's only natural that we'll be attracted to at least some of them. And sometimes they will be attracted to us too." Legiste wrote that he learned in his first graduate course not to date a person when there is a power disparity within the organization, "YET, who are we to prevent the manifestation of love?" Whoa. No, I didn't. Super creepy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Okay, now it's abundantly apparent that this guy does not have a thought that originates above his waist! Good Grief! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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