Forum answers for online class, would love your thoughts

[Runningmom80]

DS will be 9 in November.  This is his first Athena's Academy class (SOTW 3).  He has been answering all of the writing prompts, and improving as he goes. I know they are VERY conversational, he writes like we talk. :lol:   I haven't pushed him too much on that issue because it's an internet forum.

 

I would love tips on how to guide him in a gentle way.  He has always proclaimed to "HATE!!!" writing, so the fact that he's been willing to even answer these is a huge step.  He's very repetitive as well, which I've been trying to work on.  I also see that he needs help organizing the different ideas when he answers. I am thinking these might not be the best examples to judge from, but we just started doing free-writes, and I don't have anything I typed up yet.  These will have to do for now, and anything will be helpful.  TIA!!!

 

"I think that the Kohinoor Diamond should be returned to India. Since England took it from India, I think they should give it back. After India gets it back, I also think it would be cool if they put it in a museum. I also think India should have it returned because it was not nice for the English to just go and take it from them. I mean, if they took it from them in 1905, it's not too late for the English to give it back, right?"

 

"I think the Black Hole was a "hole" because I think it was real. I also think that part of how they suffered was the fact that they were so tightly squeezed together. I also think that it was not fair for the Nawab's soldiers (I believe they did it) to imprison 146 innocent people in that small of a room when there were all of those people. I also think that it was not nice for the British to attack the Nawab's soldiers when they were imprisoned. It also did not have much air."

 

"I would have invented a room-cleaning robot that, when you get it, has already been programed to clean your room. But if you wanted it to sort your building toys, you gotta program it to do that yourself. Don't worry, it would be easy. You would just go to Type In Program (TIP for short), and type in Sort Building Toys and there you go. It would also have a fuzz detector which, when fuzz was detected, would activate the vacuum that it was attached to. That's what I would invent, a room-cleaning robot."

 

 

[TheAttachedMama]

My oldest is also 9.   So I am right there in the trenches with you!   :)   

 

I think that he did a very nice job, and I would be sure to praise him for his effort.   

 

In general, I might start by teaching him some VERY basic outlining skills.   I think this would help give his paragraphs some structure, prevent him from repeating himself, and also keep him on topic*.     (If you need hand-holding with teaching this, the 2nd half of Treasured Conversations does a very nice job of teaching this skill.   It is also a very affordable program too!)   I would teach him to do a single level outline to plan what he wants to say....then have him write once he plans.   

 

 

For example, in his first paragraph, he starts out with a really nice topic sentence:  "I think that the Kohinoor Diamond should be returned to India.")  

Normally, we would then expect the paragraph to state all of the reasons WHY the diamond should be returned.  (Sentences that would support his topic.)  Instead he sort of repeats his topic sentence in several different ways and throws in an unrelated sentence somewhere in the middle about what should be done with the diamond when it is returned:  "After India gets it back, I also think it would be cool if they put it in a museum."

I think all of this could be fixed if he started out with an outline.  

 

 

I.  Kohinoor Diamond should be returned to India

  A.  Reason A

  B.  Reason B

  C.  Reason C

 

 

I also think some copia exercizes would help him.   Instead of using words like "cool", you might buy him a thesaurus and encourage him to look up different words that better express what he is trying to say.  

 

If you aren't already doing it, I think lots and lots of oral narration would help him too.   Encourage him to give oral narrations that sound "good enough" to be written down on the page.   Work on having him orally summarize the readings from SOTW, etc.  

 

*Speaking of topic, you didn't share the prompts he wrote these in response to.   I would make sure that he always sticks to the topic first and foremost.   For example, if the assignment was to summarize or write a narration of SOTW 3---these responses missed the mark--and I would probably have him re-do them.   If the assignment was a thought question (ex. Should the diamond be returned? ) then he is on the right track.   :)   I'm not familiar with Athena's Academy, but typically 9 year olds are not asked a lot of "thought" questions.  That is more a logic stage skill...and that could be why he is struggling with answering the prompts.  

 

Edited February 15, 2016 by TheAttachedMama

[leharper]

I'm familiar with Athena's Academy.  I think the SOTW prompts she gives are excellent. They do a great job of having the kids walk in the footsteps of another person or think differently about something, but they aren't designed to be essay prompts. 

 

If you want to use the SOTW prompts to teach writing, you might consider working on one thing at a time.  For example, just look at word repetition and teach him to combine sentences and use a thesaurus and then move on to another skill.