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Can I just say how awesome my sister is?


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I have been having a hard time the last few months since my husband said he wanted a divorce. I guess as divorces go I should be somewhat relieved because it has been very civil. We are still living together until we sell the house. We still get along - maybe even better these days due to all the counseling we went through! There was no infidelity, no substance abuse, just a growing apart. Between my job and what he makes there should be plenty for support for me.


It still breaks my heart in about a bazillion pieces. We have been together since I was 18 - just over 32 years now. And some days are just so damn hard.


My sister has been my rock through all of this. And her advice has been so spot on. No matter how hard I am crying when I call her she always finds a way to make me see the brighter side of things.


I used to love my time alone in the house when everyone was out. Even when my two daughters went away to college I found it peaceful, not lonely. Now that I am in the middle of a divorce I was feeling very upset every time I was home alone. My husband has always traveled a lot and has always worked until late hours, but now when he does I would find the alone time very unsettling. I started to worry that I would hate living alone. My sister then reminded me that I wasn't reacting to be alone, but that I was reacting to the new situation I found myself in, and that once the chaos around the divorce settled I would find my peace again. Once I looked at it in those terms I was able to get back to enjoying my alone time.


My husband and I decided to sleep in separate bedrooms. I moved into my daughters bedroom while she is at college, but I was finding it not as comfortable as my own bed with my own things set up the way I like them. I just kind of dealt with it, though, because I was more of the saver and not the spender in my marriage. My sister told me to get my butt to the nearest Bed & Bath and buy myself the nicest sheets I could find and a comfy down comforter. A quick trip to Barnes & Noble got me a few hard cover books that I might have passed by otherwise, and Boom! I have a nice sanctuary that is all my own. Now I am very happy to get into "my" bed that I have created my space in.


Sometimes we are so deeply ingrained with a behavior or with a way of life that we don't see that there are different, kinder ways to treat ourselves. I have just been so grateful that she has been there to pull my head out of my butt whenever I get too twisted around.


This is the sister that I plan on moving in with once my husband and I sell our house, and I am now truly looking forward to the next stage of my life.



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