4H vent

[athomeontheprairie]

We joined 4h last year. We really only joined because 4h is important to my in-laws and they are still active with their youngest (15). That's fine. Its a good reason. My in-laws are great :) And I don't mind putting the kids in something that they can do (even if only sometimes) with their grandparents.

 Here's the venting part: Last year, EVERY project my kids were interested in either didn't have a leader at all or the leaders didn't do anything. Either way, we were completely on our own. So this year, I emailed the county to ask what projects have leaders (though we did choose projects we were interested in). I don't mind limiting my kids choices to projects that they can have someone help them with(example: oldest dd would love to learn knitting/crochet/sewing, doesn't matter which one. She would choose the one with a teacher. If knitting is her first choice, but the only project leader does crochet, she would enroll in that and be perfectly happy. Some things that I have knowledge in, I don't mind doing on our own. Other things, she needs a competent teacher). The county says " talk to your club" the club says "we don't have any project leaders. talk to county." It's almost like they don't want people to be involved. There's no shooting sports in our club. No help finding any information with our current club leaders (their kids are all too busy to be active in 4h-their words, not mine). A friend in a different club called me up and asked why we were at the archery meetings. What archery meetings? We are enrolled in archery. Haven't heard a word about these meetings. They've been going on for 2 weeks.

 

I really hate this. Why aren't there leaders for projects? Why isn't that information available? Why won't the county help new people? Why are older kids "involved" if they have no time/interest? Who do I call for information when the club and the county say they "don't know" or "you're on your own"?

 

 

Sorry for the rambling....

[Jan in SC]

Several years ago, we tried to join 4H. It was a comedy of errors. I called every county listed within two hours and no one had information. I tried to talk with the people in charge of the booth at the state fair, but they didn't have information to share. It was just a generic booth. I finally took my dc to a meeting for robotics a couple counties away and it was insane. The person in charge didn't even understand anything about the specific project. She knew a lot about other groups that were meeting, but then didn't end up sharing any information either. We left after that meeting and decided that 4 H is some mythical organization. I feel your pain!

[OH_Homeschooler]

I don't have any advice, just empathy. You'd really think an organization as well-established as 4H would be easy to navigate, but I can never find the information I need. And we have a pushy club leader who doesn't like technology, so that adds another layer of confusion since the county wants registration for everything online now.

 

My big problem lately is that my daughter is signed up for a project that is supposed to have a leader. This project leader is the daughter of the club leader and she's about 30 and is an extension agent, but doesn't have kids or any other involvement with the club. So she showed up at ONE meeting about a year and a half ago and taught one skill. That was it. So I asked if I could help with the project since I have some knowledge, and the club leader shot me down instantly because her daughter is the project leader. Meanwhile, the club leader is always complaining about needing more parental involvement. Grrrrrr.

[Word Nerd]

Does your 4-H agent(s) send out a monthly newsletter? That's usually the best source of information about upcoming events and county-wide project meetings IME. We only have one club project leader, but there are several projects that have county leaders. 

[Plink]

4-H has the worst communication of any organization I've ever participated in.  We love 4-H, and have excellent leaders in DD's club, but honestly, it is infuriating.

 

I wish I had words of wisdom to make your experience easier, but I don't.  

 

Vent all you want.  I get it.

[itsheresomewhere]

Does your 4-H agent(s) send out a monthly newsletter? That's usually the best source of information about upcoming events and county-wide project meetings IME. We only have one club project leader, but there are several projects that have county leaders.

Quite a few are discontinuing the news letters as a way to cut down the budget, even email ones.

 

Some 4H clubs are so hidden so they can be very picky on who they let join. It shouldn't be that way but we have encountered it. DD tried another club recently and we quickly realized she knew way more than the person running the club. We still try 4H but I do admit it gives me a headache some days.

[FriedClams]

4-H has the worst communication of any organization I've ever participated in. We love 4-H, and have excellent leaders in DD's club, but honestly, it is infuriating.

 

I wish I had words of wisdom to make your experience easier, but I don't.

 

Vent all you want. I get it.

This was our experience. It was terrible. Unless you wanted to start, run, coordinate, and manage everything, it was a fail. It also felt like the animal 4H thrived, but nothing else around here did. Sorry it's not working out better for you.

[kirstenhill]

4-H was a flop for us too. I've heard there are good clubs out there, but it didn't work out for us. There were no "project groups" or "project leaders" at all in our club. Basically, the club was come, participate in a nearly two hour meeting that was mostly "business" and maybe one club member giving a presentation. Any projects you do were totally on your own. The difference between joining or not was that if you join, you could show a project at the fair. But your kid certainly wasnt going to get any help or learn to do something new.

[FaithManor]

I am very sorry about this. Not all counties are created equal, and some are without coordinators due to budget cuts. Membership in any county, is membership in the state as a whole. So, you are eligible to attend clubs in other counties if you can manage the transportation. We have two kids in our club that live in the next county over because that county has no STEM club. So, if you have a more robust county program nearby and the commute is not a killer, it is something to consider.

 

We have a county with a coordinator who moves heaven and earth to find resource leaders - those that do not want to run a club but will run a class or individual mentoring - so when there isn't a club leader to cover it, there is an expert who will. So sorry this is happening.

[J-rap]

We were in 4H for about 5 years and really enjoyed it, but we never really did figure out the system.  Communication really was terrible.  We found that most families were farm families that have been in it forever, so they seemed to just know everything.  The newcomers like us were pretty lost, and just had to figure it out one step at a time.  Every year it got a little bit better.  I was calling the Extension office all the time.  We never had anyone lead any projects, ever, with the exception of dog obedience.  Every project in our county was just done independently at home, usually with a lot of help from a parent.  My kids did projects that worked for both homeschool at 4H.  They really enjoyed the projects.  They'd look through the project catalogs (to see what the different categories were), and would just find a category that looked interesting.  Then we'd brainstorm.  Our group had meetings once/month, and maybe 2 or 3 other club events during the year.  But the big deal was the County Fair, with the chance of continuing to our State Fair.  That part was a lot of fun.

 

[Catwoman]

It was a flop for us, as well. Very disappointing all around. :(

[catz]

These types of organizations are only as good as the volunteers involved.  I know people have a great experience and people who've felt forced to drop out. 

[teachermom2834]

We have had some success with 4H but it is so difficult to navigate. We only got into it because of some close friends that were leaders and "in the know". But most of the time we were still confused and gave up on alot of activities because we just couldn't understand.

 

We did find that it is something that families do for generations and it is really hard to get plugged in if the parents were not in 4H as kids. It was worth the effort for us as oldest ds really benefited tremendously. But, we have relocated and even with some 4H experience we have not been able to get plugged in. But I see pictures in the paper of 4H activities so I know it is happening.

[Word Nerd]

So much of 4-H is learning by doing. Counties and clubs vary and I can't speak for all of them, but in my experience as a former member and as a leader has been that there are plenty of ways to get involved if you choose to do so. Our club has had new members who rarely attend activities, skip most meetings, and don't ask for help or accept when help is offered, then wonder why they don't get what it's about. Our county had to cancel its new member dinner, training, and Q&A for first- and second-year families for lack of interest because not a single family signed up--and there were quite a few who were new.

 

I agree that communication is key. If you don't know about events, you obviously can't go. It's inexcusable to have project meetings (like the archery one mentioned above) and not let the members enrolled in that project know about it.

[IfIOnly]

Sorry it's been so frustrating. :(

 

We have a really great 4-H group here. There are paid coordinators (four) and a website walking you through the process with printable forms. I called not too long ago and was emailed a current 2015-2016 club directory with phone numbers and names of leaders. Things are really organized here. There's a also a Facebook group for our county's 4-H department.

 

Not all the clubs have been what we hoped for though, but overall we've had a positive experience.

[Annie G]

After a few years of trying to find a club we could join, I gave up and just became a leader and started a club that met in the afternoons (AKA for homeschoolers).   I went to every leader meeting and every training and asked every question. It was as if the experienced leaders knew the secret handshake but wouldn't show it to me.  I'd ask a question and they'd dance around an answer.  They'd be all passive aggressive. Or sometimes just flat out aggressive.  We tried really hard for about four years. It was pretty frustrating.  We had about 30 kids active and I couldn't learn how stuff was supposed to be.  The only thing they seemed happy to explain was how to participate in fundraisers where the profits went back to the extension office. 

 

Those of you who have good 4H groups- congrats! I know there are tons of good ones out there and I wish we'd been able to make our club work. 

 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I am thrilled, THRILLED, to learn that it wasn't just me. :glare:

[Garga]

We have had the same experience here, though we didn't try as hard as you did. I just couldn't figure it out at all. I only know of one group and it took me hours to find them online. We attended a meeting and were promised all sorts of information (like when the next meeting would be held) and though I tried to get information from them about the future meetings, etc, ... nothing. We figured they didn't really want us, or perhaps since the leader's daughter was graduating, she didn't want to keep the 4-H group going.

 

In that one meeting, I found the answers to our questions to be very vague. It was like the leader maybe didn't know the answers either and was just winging it. Which was probably 100% the case. She probably couldn't get anyone to explain things to her, either.

[kirstenhill]

Another thing I wish someone would have explained to me ahead of time about 4H (at least here) is the importance of how proximate your county office is. We are in a large metro area at the edge of about three different counties, so it seemed reasonable to join a club that met a reasonable distance from home (20 minutes), but happened to be in another county. However, the county extension office was about an hour from our house without factoring in traffic. We weren't able to take advantage of any county wide activities (some of which would have probably enriched our experience quite a bit), since I wasn't really willing to spend an hour+ each direction driving.

 

Unfortunately there are few general purpose clubs close by in our home county since our county office promotes an Urban 4H program where clubs focus on only one activity and/or are limited in membership to kids from specific schools or other demographics. I briefly considered starting a club but I didn't want to navigate the confusing structure of 4H on my own.