Would this be a really bad idea?

[indigomama]

My husband was offered a great job in our hometown (several states away), and we took it. We will be moving in December. Our problem is housing. It is in a very high cost of living area, and there is limited housing, so landlords can be choosey. We have 5 kids and a dog and a cat. 

 

My best friend called me last week to tell me that a neighbor down the road passed away, and 2 days later so did the husband. Their son will now own the house and word in the neighborhood is that he is going to get it ready to be rented.

 

So, my question: Do you think it would be rude to mail a letter to the house, hoping the new owner gets it, letting them know we heard the house was going to be for rent soon, and we are very interested? Or is that just really crass, considering he just lost his parents? 

 

 

I'd love opinions, but please be gentle with me. I'm not trying to be rude, but it is a really tough situation with housing. Thanks

 

 

[barnwife]

Well, we have a few rentals. It doesn't bother us at all if people hear that there may be a vacancy upcoming and inquire. We can always say "we don't know if/when a vacancy will occur."

I will say a snail mail letter would be strange to me. A phone call or email would be totally normal to us.

[Southern Ivy]

When I was growing up, we knew of a house on a street that was desirable for our family. We knew the family that was moving out, so we got the name and number of the landlords. My parents called them and it worked in our favor since they gave us first choice. (It also helped that we knew the previous tenants.)

I say write a letter or see if you can get the son's number and call. Worst that can happen is you get a "no". 

ETA: I'd go for a phone call first. 

[Happy]

I think a gently worded letter would be just fine. Handwritten with condolences first.

 

Even better would be to have your friends contact the son and tell him about your desire to rent.

 

I wonder what kind of work the house will need? Other than clearing out grandma and grandpa's things....which can be very challenging emotionally.

[Tess in the Burbs]

Can you get a phone # to call?  

[Arcadia]

I'll ask your best friend to get the son's contact details. Your friend could let the son know that you are interested in renting.

Mail would probably get lost in the mountain of mail after a funeral.

[indigomama]

To everyone who asked about a phone number, I can't get one. The son is not from the area, he was down for the funerals, and went back home before my friend could talk to him. I don't know when he will be back or how else to get a hold of him.

 

My thought was that if I sent a letter in the mail, it would be forwarded to him.

[Carol in Cal.]

It might be quite a while before the home is cleared out and ready to rent.  I would send word back through the friends, and follow up with a letter that opens with condolences and then gives details about your family and why you would be good renters.  I'd mention that you already know some of the neighbors, which would be great.  If you're a homeowner now, I'd say that and say that you will maintain the home like you own it.  I'd include your credit report and a statement of how much income you will have, along with name and address of your employer.  And I would include two references other than the neighbor--either a prior landlord and an employer or coworker, or if you own your house, an employer or coworker and a personal reference. 

 

These are all things that a standard rental application would ask for, and so proactively providing them is impressive and also makes things easy for the prospective landlord, who may be new to this. 

 

I'd say that you have a pretty good shot but that the timing may not be what you need.

[Pink and Green Mom]

If I were the son, I would be thrilled to receive such a letter - it would be one less thing I'd have to worry about (finding good tenants).  If your  friend knew the neighbors well enough I would ask if they could get word to the son on your behalf.

[marbel]

It is really hard to know how someone would respond.  It could depend on the relationship the man had with his parents, how old they were, etc. 

 

Somewhat similar - my dad knew a guy who died suddenly at age 95.  He was still driving, and my dad had always admired his truck.  Right after the funeral - maybe even at the funeral, but I hope not - my dad asked his son if he could buy the truck.  He was happy to unload it. 

 

It sounds as if the only way you could even get ahold of him is through a letter to the house.  if that's the only way, I think I would be inclined to give it a try.  It would be better to go through your friends, if they know him and can get in touch with him. 

 

Hope it all works out well for you!

 

 

[3 ladybugs]

It could go either way, but honestly you have nothing to loose by trying. They can't make it harder for you to get into another place, and you may end up with a great house. 

[gardenmom5]

sending a letter also puts a great deal of assumption on neighborhood gossip being completely accurate.   no matter what the son decides to do - he has hoops to jump through before he could even think of putting it up for rent, or selling it.

I would want more information from a completely reliable source.

[DesertBlossom]

Also, the problem with sending a letter is you'll never know if he got it. He might have been relieved to get it. But maybe the mail isn't forwarded. Maybe He read it and was annoyed and didn't respond. If you don't hear back from him, you'll never kow why.

 

I would track down a phone number or something.

[indigomama]

sending a letter also puts a great deal of assumption on neighborhood gossip being completely accurate.   no matter what the son decides to do - he has hoops to jump through before he could even think of putting it up for rent, or selling it.

I would want more information from a completely reliable source.

 

Assuming I can't get more information right now, would you personally be offended if you received such a letter? I don't want to offend him, in his time of loss, but I am okay if he says "no."

[TranquilMind]

To everyone who asked about a phone number, I can't get one. The son is not from the area, he was down for the funerals, and went back home before my friend could talk to him. I don't know when he will be back or how else to get a hold of him.

 

My thought was that if I sent a letter in the mail, it would be forwarded to him.

Look him up on Facebook or Linked IN.  You can probably find him somehow. 

 

Or you can send a gently worded letter. 

[indigomama]

Look him up on Facebook or Linked IN.  You can probably find him somehow. 

 

Or you can send a gently worded letter. 

 

I need to double check with her, but I don't think my friend knows his name. The house was not right next door, just in the neighborhood. She had met the original owners (the couple who passed) from taking walks in the neighborhood. The son lives several hours away. She learned of their passing from other neighbors. I will ask her if she has more details, but I don't think she does.

[LMD]

Could you find out his name through the funeral notices?

[gardenmom5]

Assuming I can't get more information right now, would you personally be offended if you received such a letter? I don't want to offend him, in his time of loss, but I am okay if he says "no."

 

my dh was my mother's executor, so, btdt.  how I'd respond to a letter arriving before I'd even put it on the market?  I don't know.  there was quite a bit I had to do first. - and that was a condo she wasn't even living in anymore. (it still took two - three months to get it listed.) after she died, we did go through the process to sell it.  had it been her house where she'd lived for decades - it would have been an overwhelming and many months long process. (glad I got her out of it while she was still alive.) I moved her to a senior living apt. so I actually started renting out her condo before she died.  I might put a "i want to rent" letter aside, I might toss it as one too many things to deal with at that time (a relative made that period a nightmare.  nothing like death to bring out family members true nature.),

[Tsuga]

I would send a letter, gentle and with condolences, as others have mentioned, and from there just keep an eye on the classifieds if they don't respond. I would not look them up on LinkedIn at this point as that could feel creepy.