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mamabear2three
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I need to run this past people who don't know me in person, so that I can get an outside opinion and either confirm or calm my concerns about a situation!

 

My husband and I, just over a year ago, signed a "lease to own" contract with my parents to buy their house in a maximum of 7 years. They made sure we understood that they were doing this at a sacrifice, and that their financial adviser, a Christian, said that they were being very generous and was really impressed that they were willing to do this. My parents moved onto their sailboat and plan on renting an apartment to live in when they are done sailing in 7-10 years.

 

The details of the contract included:

-a sale price that was comparable to other houses in the neighborhood.

-2.5% discount (we split the commission the realtor would have made and took that off as "down payment")

-the rent we pay goes into our down payment each month.

-we agreed to the house as is and we didn't pay for an inspection.

-we didn't file the paperwork with the state because it would likely make the loan come due so it's all on paper but nothing official.

 

Since moving in, we have had to do one roof repair and another small section needs repaired. We have had to replace a medicine cabinet that was falling apart, we have had to repair all 3 toilets in the house with new parts, we had to repair a leak in a main sewer line pipe and a handful of other minor repairs. (thankfully my husband is quite handy or else we'd be in some serious financial trouble by this point) I'm sure there are other issues that an inspection would find, too. The house still has original single pane windows and is quite drafty.

 

We have decided that within 1-2 years we want to move fullitme into an RV and travel around the United States for a few years minimum, and recognize that doing so will mean giving up the house we have now and the "rent" we've put towards the down payment. This will relieve the financial strain of attempting to afford a house that's really beyond our finances, though, and allow us to travel (we'll be able to buy the camper outright and just have a loan on the tow vehicle). Without doing this, we'd rarely even get to take a vacation because of lack of income and high cost of living where we are. (my husband currently works several part time jobs in addition to his fulltime job of 7 years as a teacher and we still qualify for WIC)

 

I'm nervous about talking to my parents because I feel like they are going to feel like we are handing them a back a house full of issues that they will have to put work into to sell, but my husband thinks it's not a big deal, because they'll just sell it to someone else without all the "sacrifices" they made by making the deal with us. I know they won't approve of the plan regardless, but I just feel like we got a bit of a bad deal on the house in spite of everything they claim and that in going back on our deal, that we are being somehow mean to them. Am I crazy?

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Buying an older home does come with those kinds of repairs.  I would assume that even without an inspection, you could see that it had an old roof and single pane windows.  They allowed you to have a house that is more expensive than you could have bought otherwise with a generous time offer (a normal sale would usually include an actual downpayment plus fees plus repairs anyway, esp. if the house was sold "as is").  So, no, they didn't give you a bad deal on the house.  And yes, they were generous.  But. . . generous or not, it sounds like this house was more than you could handle financially and you are simply going to have to admit that to your parents.  

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I see two intertwined issues:  (1)  is the RV plan, for the purpose of saving money and being able to travel around the country, the best idea with four small children?  and (2) is the rent-to-own contract unaffordable in light of maintenance costs or are you only trying to get out of that contract in order to pursue the RV idea?

 

(This may not be what you're asking, but I'll vote thumbs-down on the RV plan for a hundred reasons.)

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I don't think you're screwing your parents over.  They will be ahead financially, from the sound of things, once you make this move.  They might be disappointed that their gift to you was less welcome than they hoped and envisioned, but it won't hurt them tangibly, except that in the back of their heads I wonder whether they pictured themselves being able to fall back on you if they become frail, in a way that will be harder or maybe even impossible if you don't have a big house anymore.

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we were actually told the roof had been replaced recently - they didn't bother upkeeping it with leaves building up in a couple areas, so the water backed up under the shingles and rotted the wood out. 

 

But regardless, we can handle it if we continue to struggle and sacrifice, which is what we decided we aren't willing to do just for a house. 

 

The RV thing is not really what I'm looking for advice on, but I do appreciate the concerns there! We would probably need to look for something cheaper even if we ended up not doing the RV thing, so that's not really the main issue.

 

Regarding them falling back on us - they already use the majority of the basement to keep their belongings in storage that they wanted to keep for an apartment, and they use us for mail service, so they'd have to figure something else out for those things too.

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I'm not sure I understand, is it another six years until you have the house paid off? Or is it at that point you apply for a mortgage to pay the rest of the house? There is no way I'd walk away from 1/7 of home ownership to be in a RV. After you have some financial stability, then pursue the travel bug while you can rent out your home.

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in another 6 years we'd apply for a mortgage, at which point our monthly house payment would double (roughly) and we would *hopefully* qualify... we are putting every dime into savings between now and then in the hopes of having 20% down but we will likely fall short of that number and end up with PMI on the mortgage because of it.

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oh and the money we pay in rent each month goes toward that 20% down payment too - everything is just so tight and it would all have to work out exactly right to work... including several much needed raises for my husband, so if those don't happen (who knows with teaching) then we'd be up the creek without a house anyway.

 

We originally agreed to the deal because selling our townhouse made us enough money to pay off all our debt, and a financial advisor told us that providing we got the raises we are supposed to over the next few years, we'd be OK.

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I think the real issue is that you do have an agreement with your parents, filed or not. If they don't want to own the house, then it's disadvantaging them to try to back out. You should treat this like a legal contract that you want out of and go to the other party to negotiate if and how that will be possible. It may well hurt your parents' feelings or otherwise cause stress on your relationship with them, which are factors for you to consider as you decide whether it's worth it to you to try to back out of the deal to which you agreed.

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There are two ways you are "not crazy"

 

1. It's not crazy to get out of this deal if it's not working for you. You give up the 'deposit' which now stands as if it was 'rent' and that makes perfect sense.

 

2. You are not crazy to expect your parents to have feelings about the unexpected burden of selling their house when they thought it was dealt with. There are definitely ways of discribing the situation that would support them in their feelings of distress.

 

However, their income from your past rent should be fine to cover the cost of bringing the house up to sale. You are not actually treating them unreasonably. (Unless there were actually no 'outs' in the contract? If so, it was badly written. Usually there are conditions for either party to withdraw fairly from this kind of arrangement.)

 

However... You might be crazy about your plan to live on the road. Housing is not getting cheaper, and a mobile lifestyle VERY rarely works out well in the long run, except for people who are independently wealthy. People who travel have a hard time working well and building employment history. Eventually the people need to live somewhere that is not a parked vehicle or a poverty-style structure. By then, they will lack a lot of the things that will make home ownership possible, and it will become increasingly out of reach as the decades pass. I'm sure it can be pulled off well... But it does *frequently* end in tears.

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I see two intertwined issues:  (1)  is the RV plan, for the purpose of saving money and being able to travel around the country, the best idea with four small children?  and (2) is the rent-to-own contract unaffordable in light of maintenance costs or are you only trying to get out of that contract in order to pursue the RV idea?

 

(This may not be what you're asking, but I'll vote thumbs-down on the RV plan for a hundred reasons.)

 

I know a family of 5 who have been doing that for quite a while (several months to a year) and they are loving it. It is totally working for them. 

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Do you have a good, honest relationship with your parents?  It seems to me you need to talk to them about it and begin by just "brainstorming."  Explain that you feel you got in over your heads (don't put any blame on your parents, ie "You told me this, and it wasn't so," etc.).   It does seem like you are actually both helping each other out.  That is, your parents probably sincerely believed (and rightly so, I imagine) that they were helping you out with the cost), and you are helping them out because they did not have to hassle with listing a house and all that that involves, you're storing their furniture, and acting as their official home residence still (for mail, probably taxes, etc.).

 

Things happen to homes that need fixing, and I wouldn't blame that on them.  Our home is over 100 years old and though we fix everything we can when it happens, there is bound to be more issues when someone else moves in. 

 

I'm not a good financial adviser, so I won't advise you on the best financial plan.  But if you really want to do this, I think you need to be honest, kind, and willing to help with things to to make it happen.  Undoubtedly this will all be stressful for your parents and require a lot of extra unexpected work for them.  So, you could offer to help get it ready for them to list, offer to help move their basement furniture into a local storage unit, things like that.  If you make a real effort for the process to go smoothly for them, then hopefully your relationship with your parents will not be affected at all, which is the #1 thing I'd be concerned about. 

 

Will your parents be able to continue living on their sailboat if the house doesn't sell quickly and they are no longer receiving payments?

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we do have a good relationship with them and I want that to continue! Thanks for all the suggestions on how to come at it with offers to help them as best we can.

 

Will they be able to continue living without our payments? Yes, but it would likely eat into their savings - they are semi-retired - my dad still does part time at his old job remotely... and it is enough to pay for them to continue - but if they don't sell quickly, they will have to pay their mortgage payment still, which is what our rent covers.

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It sounds like you're paying rent that is way less than market rate for the home, if you expect your payment to double when you take on the loan.  If that's the case, your folks can rent the house at a market price and be fine. 

 

Lot of people back out of rent to own agreements, and it's a fair trade to each of you that they get to keep the rent paid and you get nothing. It's just like you've been renting the house all along...you have paid rent and have a place to live and they get to keep the rent. 

 

If you're honest with them that the house is above your means, there's no reason for them to get upset. They aren't out anything, and will just choose between renting the house or selling it.  You guys aren't handing back issues you created with the house. You put time and money into improving it. 

 

You might have to keep the two topics apart, though. One is that you no longer want the house and the other is what kind of housing you DO want.  The folks might want to voice their opinion on your RV plan but you're adults and it's your decision.  Don't get caught up intertwining the two topics...it just complicates things that might already get a little heated. 

 

 

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I do think that the two issues are combined though. I think there needs to be long term financial planning.

The only RV owning couple that I know bought an RV that seems middle of the category but it cost nearly as much as my house. They purchased new but there have been extensive issues with the wiring and now other electronics. They have had to forgo their dream trips due to fuel costs.

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I think you are right to get out of this house, because you are in over your head (honestly, I think the RV thing is a bad idea, because an RV is a loser, financially, but that's a separate issue).  However, I think you are a little bit unfair to your parents to feel that you've been taken advantage of with the condition of the house.  You accepted it "as is", and you didn't bother to get an inspection.  The reason that you get inspections isn't primarily because you think the seller is lying, it's because you want to find out what even the seller probably doesn't know (every, single thing on our inspection report I am sure the seller didn't know, because they were out-of-sight issues).  You got a house at below market rent and you did some repairs. You've made out lucky.

 

As far as dealing with your parents, the only thing I would say is that you've decided to do something different.  You thought this would be the right thing, but your plans have changed.  That happens, no biggie.  Give them plenty of notice and be open and helpful with what they need to make arrangements (let in realtors, or potential renters, keep things clean, etc).

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For the sake of your relationship, I would make very sure that you do not let your parents know that you think they gave you a bad deal and that you think that their generosity to you was a "sacrifice" in quotes.  I understand the financial difficulties (my kitchen cabinets only have half the cabinet doors on them because we haven't had the money to do anything as they've literally come off in our hands) but your parents know that home ownership provides some financial security through building equity, for one thing.  It may not be something you can sustain for the next 6 years and beyond, and I understand that, but I would go to a financial planner first to look through all the ramifications of this decision.  Just like getting an inspection first would have been prudent, I think a financial planner would be prudent now.  

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what is the average per night cost for rv camping? We had friends tent camping this simmer who were complaining that fees alone at the tiny, county park with no water access was going to cost more than rent for a month.

 

Sounds like the current housing plan is risky and really stretched your abilities for the next six years. Time to come up with a new plan. The money you have already paid is like rent, yes? Don't let yourself get drawn in to a deeper books by the sunk costs. Step back and figure out what you can afford and then look for something that will work in that. RVing could be one option if the costs fit.

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We are doing extensive research into the lifestyle we are looking at, and the costs involved and haven't committed to anything yet but not all RVs are a bum deal - to get a tow behind trailer used is well within our reach financially and there are many ways to save money on the cost of parking it for the night - the average costs others who do this are much much lower than our current rent. We are definitely looking carefully at the finances. If this option doesn't work out there are other options. I guess the main point is me feeling bad to back out of the contract, regardless of where we go from there.

 

We've been "stretched" financially our whole adult lives, so we were just chasing the "debt free" "bigger house" dream and have realized that while debt free is where we want to be, a bigger house isn't necessarily where we want to be, and are reevaluating that.

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As long as you don't cut and run, I would say this is a workable situation. If it's not financially working, it's not working. I would let them know that you cannot afford the house. Then I would stay (and continue to pay rent) until they get it sold. I would help prep the house, move their storage, etc. Real estate is going up, so I imagine they'll be able to sell it for more than they would have a year ago. I wouldn't expect them to be happy about it, but as long as you don't just ditch them to deal with the sale, I do think your relationship can be preserved.

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So is every dime you pay on rent now being applied to the purchase price of the home?

 

In other words, if you are paying $10,000 a year in rent and your parents are selling you the home for $300,000, will you be applying for a loan of $230,000 at the end of seven years? If so, stick with the house. That is a screaming good deal to build up that much equity. You can always buy it at the end of seven years and immediately put it on the market.

 

If that is not the deal, then walking away may be a better financial decision.

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I understood that a rent to own contract normally had a rent cost, plus a separate extra couple hundred to put into an account for your down payment at the end of the contract.

That's really nice of your parent to say that all of your rent would be going toward a down payment.

Now, if you break the contract, your parent should have a nice chunk of money sitting in an account that could be used for fixing up the house and putting it on the market.

If this is the case, I wouldn't feel too bad.

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Another thought is this: you've gotten the house at below market cost, and you have 6 more years to apply for a loan.  Stay in the house for the next 6 years (I'm assuming you've looked at alternate rent situations and they are more expensive) and then move if it still makes sense at that time. 

 

BTW, RVs are losers not because of camping costs (though those are substantial) but because they are a decreasing asset, just like a car.  At least with regular rent, you get out of repairs.  With an RV you have a decreasing asset and repair costs.

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I would recommend a sit-down with the parents and explain that renting the house even with an option to buy is too expensive for your budget.  Let them know you are planning on finding different housing by XXX date. 

 

Being me, I would probably offer to help get the house ready to sell with cleaning and moving things for them.   Sounds like they could rent or sell the house without too much difficulty, so "defaulting" really isn't a bad thing for anyone.  As someone said above - lots of rent-to-own contracts don't pan out.

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I know you aren't looking for advice on the RV thing, but I just want to point out that an RV and a tow vehicle are depreciating assets, while the house is not. Even if your costs are less than the house, at the end of 15 years, you will have a basically worthless RV and tow vehicle, so everything you put into it is money gone. With a house, you have a decent chance of at least getting back what you put into it, and maybe even making some. This house might be too much money, but remember, that is money you have a good chance of seeing at least a decent chunk of later. You won't see any with depreciating assets. If it is too expensive, then it is, but I just want to point that out.

 

Edited to say Tammy beat me to it.

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Thinking about this more broadly, I want to encourage you to consider what changes might make the house affordable for you.  Can you take in a boarder?  Rent out a room or two?  Start some kind of bed and breakfast business that rents out a room on weekends or for vacations during the best time of the year to be there?  It sounds like you've gotten a screaming good deal, and one that might benefit from some creativity.

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You seem a bit resentful about having had to do the repairs on the house, yet the things you are describing are all quite minor and would be expected in any home you could have purchased. Honestly, if that is all you have needed to do, and the only remaining issue is some older windows, I think you got a very solid house in good condition.

 

I know you aren't looking for opinions on the RV thing, but I think it is such a terrible and financially detrimental idea that I have to say something. I know that living in an RV looks fun in all of those television shows. I know it sounds like a way to get out of debt and be independent, but in reality, it really doesn't work that way. And seriously, how long do you think you will be able to maintain that lifestyle? Will your children truly be happy spending hours and hours driving from place to place on a regular basis, or will they be bored to tears? How long will it be before your kids get older and want some stability and a permanent home -- or you and your dh realize that the expense of traveling around the country in an RV or towing a big trailer is a lot higher than you expected it to be? Just the fuel costs alone will be huge, and you will need to replace the tires and brakes on your vehicle far more often than you do now (and trucks, RVs, and trailers don't last forever and they depreciate terribly quickly,)-- and the cost of staying in campgrounds isn't free, either, when you have to do it every single night. When you add up the real costs of your proposed lifestyle, it may very well end up costing at least as much as you are paying to live in a real house. What will you do at the point when the house has been sold and you have no way to afford another one, yet you are sick and tired of living in an RV?

 

Additionally, what will you do for income? It sounds like you are already on a very tight budget. Will you and your dh be able to earn more money on the road than you are at home? That is very rarely the case. What about schooling for the kids? Even if you homeschool, you need room for educational materials and plenty of time to "do school," particularly as your kids get older.

 

I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but your plan doesn't sound sensible to me. It sounds like you are looking at it from a superficial viewpoint and not really realizing that this won't be like a long family vacation. It really isn't like it looks on those TV shows, and everyone makes their life sound cool and exciting on their blog, even when the reality is entirely different. Living in a confined space and spending very long hours on the road with four little kids could be a real nightmare for the entire family. Have you at least considered the possibility of moving into a smaller, more reasonably-priced home if you can't afford to maintain your current home? Have you discussed with your parents the possibility of temporarily lowering the rent on your current home until you can find a way to make a bit more money?

 

If you decide to do it, I wish you the very best of luck, but I also hope you will remain in the house until it sells so your parents won't be burdened by the expense of maintaining an empty house at their expense, because that would be incredibly unfair to them. They did an incredibly kind and generous thing for you, and I'm not entirely sure you appreciate the fact that they could have made a lot of money by selling the house to someone else and having the entire proceeds in one lump sum so they could have I invested it and been earning interest on it all this time? You got a great deal, so please do whatever it takes to get the house into the best possible shape so your parents can make the maximum amount of profit on it. They deserve at least that much.

 

Frankly, I think you are making a huge mistake and that you should stay in the house for at least the next several years because even without the substantial financial considerations, living in a nice house in a nice neighborhood will be far more stable for your children than roaming the country in a trailer or RV without having a home to return to.

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This really sounds like it was not a good idea for you, or for your parents for that matter. And the reason it doesn't sound like a good idea is that you can't really afford this house. If I understand you correctly, you are currently paying half of what the expected mortgage payment would be seven years from now even after making a 20% down payment.That means that your income would have to rise significantly in order for this to continue to be affordable. And while your income may rise it sounds like you aren't confident about that, and your costs are probably going to rise as well as your children get older.

 

If your income were definitely going to rise it seems like a great deal. You get to Live in a home for half of what it should cost for seven years, and all of the money you are paying gets returned to you at the end of that period in the form of a down payment. Basically your down payment is equity, so if you could swing this and liked the house, it would be a tremendous deal.

 

But what happens if seven years from now no bank will finance the mortgage to you as a borrower? Is there a provision in the lease contract for that?

 

Are your parents paying property taxes and insurance? Do you pay renters insurance?

 

Are property sales strong there? You have locked in a price now, and seven years from now you may be buying a home at less than market value, which would be a great deal for you. Your parents have assumed the risk on this because if property values decline, you can back out in seven years and while you don't get that down payment, you can consider what you paid as rent, and rent is part of life. Meanwhile you parents would have been receiving low rent and then would have to sell at less than they could sell today. The easier thing for them would have been just to sell now, invest the money, and use and rent a storage unit for their stuff.

 

It seems like a great opportunity, but not if you hate the house and not if paying half the expected mortgage is already leaving you cash poor. If you decide you don't want to live there, you can always ask your parents if they would agree to let you continue to live there and pay rent while you put it on the market and try to sell it at the market rate.

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I need to run this past people who don't know me in person, so that I can get an outside opinion and either confirm or calm my concerns about a situation!

 

My husband and I, just over a year ago, signed a "lease to own" contract with my parents to buy their house in a maximum of 7 years. They made sure we understood that they were doing this at a sacrifice, and that their financial adviser, a Christian, said that they were being very generous and was really impressed that they were willing to do this. My parents moved onto their sailboat and plan on renting an apartment to live in when they are done sailing in 7-10 years.

 

The details of the contract included:

-a sale price that was comparable to other houses in the neighborhood.

-2.5% discount (we split the commission the realtor would have made and took that off as "down payment")

-the rent we pay goes into our down payment each month.

-we agreed to the house as is and we didn't pay for an inspection.

-we didn't file the paperwork with the state because it would likely make the loan come due so it's all on paper but nothing official.

 

Since moving in, we have had to do one roof repair and another small section needs repaired. We have had to replace a medicine cabinet that was falling apart, we have had to repair all 3 toilets in the house with new parts, we had to repair a leak in a main sewer line pipe and a handful of other minor repairs. (thankfully my husband is quite handy or else we'd be in some serious financial trouble by this point) I'm sure there are other issues that an inspection would find, too. The house still has original single pane windows and is quite drafty.

 

We have decided that within 1-2 years we want to move fullitme into an RV and travel around the United States for a few years minimum, and recognize that doing so will mean giving up the house we have now and the "rent" we've put towards the down payment. This will relieve the financial strain of attempting to afford a house that's really beyond our finances, though, and allow us to travel (we'll be able to buy the camper outright and just have a loan on the tow vehicle). Without doing this, we'd rarely even get to take a vacation because of lack of income and high cost of living where we are. (my husband currently works several part time jobs in addition to his fulltime job of 7 years as a teacher and we still qualify for WIC)

 

I'm nervous about talking to my parents because I feel like they are going to feel like we are handing them a back a house full of issues that they will have to put work into to sell, but my husband thinks it's not a big deal, because they'll just sell it to someone else without all the "sacrifices" they made by making the deal with us. I know they won't approve of the plan regardless, but I just feel like we got a bit of a bad deal on the house in spite of everything they claim and that in going back on our deal, that we are being somehow mean to them. Am I crazy?

I think you got a great and very generous deal.  I've been renovating and renting houses for decades.  Everything you mention are simply standard maintenance issues. 

 

Nothing is a big deal, except the sewer leak, and that can happen to anyone, anytime.  People will buy a house with old windows.  But if your husband can actually install them, you could pick up some new replacement windows for $100 each at a big box store, and that will improve resale value. 

 

Since you want to leave in 1-2 years, why don't you buy now, when the rates are in the 3's, renovate over the winter since your husband is handy, and put it on the market in April or May, when prices are highest? 

 You might even make money, if you are in a good area. 

 

 

I would have a hard time throwing away all the rent money you have piled up as a down payment.  Unless the house is in a bad area where you will not recoup your investment, I would buy it. 

 

 

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The contract just states that if we "default", they have the right to keep everything we've already paid for and sell the house to someone else. I guess the term "default" just scares me!

Well, what are the events of default?  Those should be spelled out in the contract. 

See what they are and whether you meet them or will meet them.  If you need some help, we can look at it, or you can PM. 

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Thinking about this more broadly, I want to encourage you to consider what changes might make the house affordable for you.  Can you take in a boarder?  Rent out a room or two?  Start some kind of bed and breakfast business that rents out a room on weekends or for vacations during the best time of the year to be there?  It sounds like you've gotten a screaming good deal, and one that might benefit from some creativity.

Good ideas.  What about airbnb for occasional weekends?  Could work out great if anyone comes to your area, so long as you aren't loaded down with pets, and there will be a separate, quiet space for guests.  You can make good money doing this.  I routinely see $75-125 a night for my very ordinary area in a big city. 

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Be up front with your parents about not being able to afford it and help them get it ready to sell.  

 

As far as the RV...don't do it because you think it will be a good financial decision it won't.  However if the idea of living on the road with an RV is something you would really like to do that wouldn't be nearly as bad as doing it for financial reasons.  We looked at campers for living in while dh works and staying in nicer campgrounds.  It really isn't cheap and there is a lot of maintenance that goes along with it and they are not well made in general.  Air conditioning has a hard time keeping up when it is really hot and heat can't keep up when it is really cold.  They do not hold up well with people living in them.  I wish you well in whatever decisions you make.

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You know, the irony here is that the last time I posted in here, it was asking about the concept of full-timing and I got not a single negative comment. Since then we have found a huge community of people, with kids, who are doing it, doing it well and loving it. 

 

 

By the way - I am not sure what "tv shows" there are that show this, I haven't seen any, but sounds interesting! We don't watch much tv. 

 

In the end, there are a lot of arguments that can be made about a lot that has been said but I'll just say this - I asked for anonymous advice about something, which means I can take it or leave it and who knows what I will end up doing. I really like this forum in general, which is why I came here to ask, but it's amazing to me that people can get so worked up about someone else's choices about things. 

 

I do appreciate those who took the time to answer my question without the rest of the junk about the lifestyle choices.But now I'm done - if you all want to continue arguing about how terrible it is to do this or that, that's fine, enjoy :) 

 

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You know, the irony here is that the last time I posted in here, it was asking about the concept of full-timing and I got not a single negative comment. Since then we have found a huge community of people, with kids, who are doing it, doing it well and loving it.

 

 

By the way - I am not sure what "tv shows" there are that show this, I haven't seen any, but sounds interesting! We don't watch much tv.

 

In the end, there are a lot of arguments that can be made about a lot that has been said but I'll just say this - I asked for anonymous advice about something, which means I can take it or leave it and who knows what I will end up doing. I really like this forum in general, which is why I came here to ask, but it's amazing to me that people can get so worked up about someone else's choices about things.

 

I do appreciate those who took the time to answer my question without the rest of the junk about the lifestyle choices.But now I'm done - if you all want to continue arguing about how terrible it is to do this or that, that's fine, enjoy :)

Clearly you are not open to the "junk" about the lifestyle choices :glare:, but it would be nice if you at least recognized and acknowledged the fact that people were taking time out of their day to try to help you. There was no need to become so defensive and dismissive of others' attempts to point out the potentially negative aspects of your plan.

 

It is obvious that you don't want to hear anything that does not completely support your ideas, and quite frankly, I think that is both a mistake and a real shame. We wouldn't have bothered to post the negative aspects of the massive lifestyle change you are considering if we didn't believe you needed to think about them, and I can assure you that no one was trying to be mean to you or "argue" about it.

 

I sincerely hope you will be able to have this discussion more effectively with your parents when you tell them your plans, because I am quite certain they will be asking you the same questions and expressing the same reservations that we are.

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You know, the irony here is that the last time I posted in here, it was asking about the concept of full-timing and I got not a single negative comment. Since then we have found a huge community of people, with kids, who are doing it, doing it well and loving it. 

 

 

By the way - I am not sure what "tv shows" there are that show this, I haven't seen any, but sounds interesting! We don't watch much tv. 

 

In the end, there are a lot of arguments that can be made about a lot that has been said but I'll just say this - I asked for anonymous advice about something, which means I can take it or leave it and who knows what I will end up doing. I really like this forum in general, which is why I came here to ask, but it's amazing to me that people can get so worked up about someone else's choices about things. 

 

I do appreciate those who took the time to answer my question without the rest of the junk about the lifestyle choices.But now I'm done - if you all want to continue arguing about how terrible it is to do this or that, that's fine, enjoy :)

 

Maybe you didn't mean it that way, but that came across as really snotty.  I don't know that anyone is against the RV lifestyle, just the cost and financial ramifications (that is, however many years you spend in the RV, regardless of whether they are good or bad, will end with you having no asset at the end of it, or one worth substantially less than you put into it).

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Maybe you didn't mean it that way, but that came across as really snotty. I don't know that anyone is against the RV lifestyle, just the cost and financial ramifications (that is, however many years you spend in the RV, regardless of whether they are good or bad, will end with you having no asset at the end of it, or one worth substantially less than you put into it).

I'm pretty sure she meant it that way.

 

She doesn't want to hear the down side. It appears that she wants us to tell her it's a great idea and that her parents sold her a bad house that needed too many repairs and that it is okay to default on their agreement to buy the house.

 

Many of us don't agree with her and have tried -- with good intentions -- to point out some things she may not have considered, and instead of appreciating our input (even if she doesn't agree with us,) she got annoyed and walked away from the thread.

 

I hope she makes the right choice for her family, and I also hope she recognizes how incredibly generous her parents have been, and that she treats them accordingly if she decides to go through with her RVing idea. I can't imagine that they will think this is a good idea, so if nothing else, maybe our comments will help her anticipate some of her parents' objections so she will have good answers for them.

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As a RV owner- they are not made for full time living.  There are repairs to do even with a new RV.  The roof has to be cared for several times a year.  And it gets cramped for the 4 of us.  I do love my RV but when people talk about how much they love it and stuff I have noticed they tend to leave out the details.  RVs are just like houses, they give you enjoyment but there is lots of work involved.  Plus, factor in the tow vehicle.  RV places will often sell a TT that is over the weight or knocking at over the weight.  Your tow vehicle will need repairs.  Know your tow vehicle before you purchase a TT. 

 

As for the house, I would stay put for awhile and really make a solid plan.  Go camping when the weather is nasty to get a taste of what it will be like in the TT.  

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Do your parents see you guys as generally good with the money you have? If so, I would guess it would be easier to explain that this situation is too expensive and they would respect that. However, if they were giving you this deal because they think you need some help and because they think things are tight partly due to questionable choices, it is not going to go well to tell them you are walking away to RV full-time.

 

If they feel they sacrificed to help you out of a tough spot at least partly of your own doing, rejecting that sacrifice in favor of something that is financially questionable will tick them off. They sound up for adventures themselves though (living on a sailboat) and might understand better choosing something adventurous over stability.

 

These sorts of situations have layers upon layers of complexities. It's really hard to say because so much depends on past history with them, why they gave you the deal to begin with, and what their expectations *really* are around it.

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