Night Elf Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 At the doctor's office today, a woman started telling me all the medical problems over the last 3 years. I was very uncomfortable. My saving grace was that I didn't have a place to sit down near her. I was with my son so when a couple of seats opened up away from her and near the tv, I told my son where she could hear that we should go sit near the tv since we didn't know how long he would have to wait to get called back. She didn't say anything. Apparently she knew another woman sitting near by so she was talking to her as well. What do you do when someone gets so personal? For a while I just nodded and said 'oh goodness' until I could go sit somewhere else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 I try to distance myself by making polite sounds, then busying myself with something - checking my phone, flipping through paperwork or a notebook, or turning to talk to the person I'm with (if I'm with someone). Pretty much what you did. People seem to like telling me personal stuff; I don't know why. So I try to look preoccupied right from the start, if I can. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 I just figure that person is lonely. If it's in a place like the waiting room at a doctor's office, the time is limited, so I just usually nod and make little comments like you did. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 nm 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yucabird Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Any chance you are an introvert? For some reason, some extroverts can't imagine introverts might not want to have conversations with complete strangers.I always have a book (or Kindle) in my purse. Begin reading, be polite, but don't engage or encourage. I have found this a good technique for warding off unwanted conversationalists at restaurants, on planes, or in waiting rooms. There will be those who persist, but in the end, you can make a conversation so insipid or frightening, they will go away.(Me with a book in my face....)"What are you doing?""Reading.""Oh, what are you reading?""A book." (Some leave after this.)(Some don't.) "Oh, what is it about?""The development of refrigerators" or "Cannibalism." (I am nice to elderly extroverts....) 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 I just figure that person is lonely. If it's in a place like the waiting room at a doctor's office, the time is limited, so I just usually nod and make little comments like you did. :iagree: I try to be particularly nice about it in a doctor's office because I figure the person might be nervous about her appointment and is trying to pass the waiting time by chatting with whomever is sitting near her. 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 I just nod and say uh huh. Doesn't really bother me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarkW Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 As an introvert who frequently has conversations with complete strangers, I'm just confused. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yucabird Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 As an introvert who frequently has conversations with complete strangers, I'm just confused. You are someone with two black eyes, commenting about not understanding. You are an introvert? ;) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 I just figure that person is lonely. If it's in a place like the waiting room at a doctor's office, the time is limited, so I just usually nod and make little comments like you did. This is what I do. But I am an extrovert and a therapist so these interactions do not "cost" me much. If they cost you more than you want to give, it is perfectly fine to handle it as you did. You were not unkind. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 She was probably lonely and/or really enjoys telling people about her medical problems because they are important/interesting to her. I just smile and nod, hope they stop talking or one of us gets called back. Listening doesn't actually hurt me and might help them. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El... Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Some people just need to talk to someone... anyone... and you are there! Lucky you. :) Last week the guy who carried out my groceries told me all about his beloved late wife who committed suicide a year ago. She was in long-term pain. He even showed me her photo. He really needed to share, I guess. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 "Cannibalism." (I am nice to elderly extroverts....) :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I really dislike it when strangers get very personal. I mean, I don't mind talking about normal stuff (pop culture, weather, what I'm knitting) but I absolutely don't want to hear the details of a strangers medical issues. So, how I react mostly depends on the vibe I get. If I think they are just without training on appropriate topics to share with strangers, I'll try changing the subject, or maybe behaving in a distracted way. If they are too much (or I'm approaching my limit) I may just get up and move somewhere else. Flip side of this, some friends and I were at Barnes and Nobel one night talking while sitting in a grouping of chairs. A guy came in, grabbed a chair and pulled it up to just barely outside of our circle. We kept throwing him looks and kinda scooching our chairs away from him. He wouldn't back up (there was plenty of room for him not to be right at the edge of us) so finally I'd had enough and just started talking in gory detail about some gynecological problems that I had been having. I figured if he really wanted to hear something, I'd give him something. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I just figure that person is lonely. If it's in a place like the waiting room at a doctor's office, the time is limited, so I just usually nod and make little comments like you did. That's what I do. I try to be nice and listen. It's not going to last forever. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I listen. It's not going to hurt me to hear her personal stuff if she needs to share it. If she was asking me personal stuff then it's different, I wouldn't be comfortable sharing. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplejackmama Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Welcome to my world. My family calls me a freak magnet. This happens to me all the time, people spill way TOO MUCH info, way TOO soon. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xixstar Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I also listen and try to make appropriate sounds. It feels awkward to me because I struggle with the right response to such things or anything that would generally need sympathy too. But I still just listen until I need to get going or find another out/excuse to move away. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I just figure that person is lonely. If it's in a place like the waiting room at a doctor's office, the time is limited, so I just usually nod and make little comments like you did. Exactly. I had a 20 minute conversation with a complete stranger in the supermarket last week. He was clearly lonely. His wife passed away 8 years ago. He had kidney cancer a number of years ago. Cataract surgery. And some other health ailments. In a doctors office, I chalk it up to nerves. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Flip side of this, some friends and I were at Barnes and Nobel one night talking while sitting in a grouping of chairs. A guy came in, grabbed a chair and pulled it up to just barely outside of our circle. We kept throwing him looks and kinda scooching our chairs away from him. He wouldn't back up (there was plenty of room for him not to be right at the edge of us) so finally I'd had enough and just started talking in gory detail about some gynecological problems that I had been having. I figured if he really wanted to hear something, I'd give him something. And then what did he do? You can't just leave us hanging! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 I listen and try to interact sympathetically. I'll even offer suggestions if I have any I think might be useful, but mostly I listen and offer sympathy and/or compassion. I'm not bothered by these things. All humans need other humans at times and some really weird things happen. We're supposed to be there for each other. It's not like I'm writing a book about them or doing research or putting it on YouTube. It's not even opening up my inner circle of friends or similar. It's just part of being nice in our large world. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 As an introvert who frequently has conversations with complete strangers, I'm just confused. LOL...so true. I find talking to strangers easier sometimes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 I had a random stranger tell me all about her marital troubles including their sex life at the playground. I felt like I should have charged for her therapy. I had not way out. I was actually wishing one of my kids would have a melt down so I had an out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Welcome to my world. My family calls me a freak magnet. This happens to me all the time, people spill way TOO MUCH info, way TOO soon. I am right there with you. I tend to attract the special needs kids and adults as well as the mentally ill. I have a friend that is the same way so the 2 of us going out in public can be very interesting as we are like magnets. I have helped a special needs family find clothing for their child....they honestly had no clue in the store where to find the correct sizes for the child. We have talked to a mentally ill person about the merits of various types of decks of cards at the Dollar Store. Really it doesn't bother me as long as they aren't asking ME the personal questions. I know that many people just need someone to talk to or address them as a fellow human being. I may as well be that person. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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