S/O Why do you HS your LD child?

[Jeeves]

Do you ever just want to NOT HS your LD child?  We've always homeschooled and we started it because we thought it would be best at least for the elementary years and way before I knew I had children with LDs.  Now that I know I have one with ADHD and possible stealth dyslexia and one with dyslexia and possible ADHD (not to mention the one with some sort of writing issue--completely undiagnosed, it's just that he's 12 and his writing looks like a 6 year old and he still puts capital letters in the middle of words), I really, really want to put them in public school just so I don't have to do everything.

 

Has anyone done this?  How did it work out? Any good stories out there?

 

Also, have you ever just gotten an IEP and services for dyslexia through the school, but continued homeschooling?  Any pitfalls in this method? 

 

Discuss... ;)

[OneStepAtATime]

Responses may vary significantly, based on where people live and how good the local school system is for dealing with learning issues.  For those that have really good school systems that know what they are doing and are willing to do it, putting kids in school can be very useful.  It may give those children access to resources they might not otherwise have.  It could give the parent/educator a badly needed break while also giving them more avenues and energy to help their children after school.  Or at least a more workable solution than staying home with an overloaded, exhausted, burned out home educator.

 

In my area, it is a nightmare.  I mean that literally.  The local school system fails to meet the needs of kids with any sort of learning issue every single year.  There have been lawsuits.  Are there days when I wish with all my heart I could turn this over, at least some of it, to someone else?  Yes.  There are days when things are overwhelming and I feel like I am failing my kids and I am failing myself.  DS, especially, was happier in school.  He thrived in that type of environment...until he couldn't anymore.  On the flip side of that coin, I have the benefit of my kids having actually been in school for several years.  I already know what we would be facing should we return and so do they.  Neither one wants to go back.  

 

When the kids were still in school I was working hours and hours every single day, including weekends, reteaching all the material.  My kids had no childhood since they were in school until 3:30, had a brief break, then were either doing homework or studying for tests/quizzes (which we had to start days or weeks in advance) or working on projects, etc, until bedtime.  DD was struggling to keep up and got more and more demoralized with each passing year.  Working at home now we still have hard work and long days at times, but she is thriving in ways that would never have happened when we were still dealing with brick and mortar.  DS?  He would be better off in a specialized school for gifted dyslexics.  Since that isn't an option here (there are none in our area) we just have to do the best we can.

 

Have you checked out your local school district?  Maybe you have a really good one?

[OneStepAtATime]

And you might read Ben Foss' book The Dyslexia Empowerment Plan.  It gives some interesting insight into the processes you need to go through to negotiate the public school system with a child that has learning challenges.

[kbutton]

We aren't using dyslexia services, but we are using some services from a special scholarship in our state. To use the scholarship, you have to have an IEP for your child, and then you give up your right to FAPE in oder to have someone else provide those services. So, if you are not using a private school for services, you must homeschool or otherwise provider for your child's education. Since we were already homeschooling, it was a great fit for us.

[Jeeves]

And you might read Ben Foss' book The Dyslexia Empowerment Plan.  It gives some interesting insight into the processes you need to go through to negotiate the public school system with a child that has learning challenges.

I just went and requested that book from the library! Thank you! 

 

We aren't using dyslexia services, but we are using some services from a special scholarship in our state. To use the scholarship, you have to have an IEP for your child, and then you give up your right to FAPE in oder to have someone else provide those services. So, if you are not using a private school for services, you must homeschool or otherwise provider for your child's education. Since we were already homeschooling, it was a great fit for us.

I have a meeting set up with the Special Ed coordinator at the district and we're going to go over what services they can provide.  I'll ask about any other options like this, too.

 

Responses may vary significantly, based on where people live and how good the local school system is for dealing with learning issues.  For those that have really good school systems that know what they are doing and are willing to do it, putting kids in school can be very useful.  It may give those children access to resources they might not otherwise have.  It could give the parent/educator a badly needed break while also giving them more avenues and energy to help their children after school.  Or at least a more workable solution than staying home with an overloaded, exhausted, burned out home educator.

 

In my area, it is a nightmare.  I mean that literally.  The local school system fails to meet the needs of kids with any sort of learning issue every single year.  There have been lawsuits.  Are there days when I wish with all my heart I could turn this over, at least some of it, to someone else?  Yes.  There are days when things are overwhelming and I feel like I am failing my kids and I am failing myself.  DS, especially, was happier in school.  He thrived in that type of environment...until he couldn't anymore.  On the flip side of that coin, I have the benefit of my kids having actually been in school for several years.  I already know what we would be facing should we return and so do they.  Neither one wants to go back.  

 

When the kids were still in school I was working hours and hours every single day, including weekends, reteaching all the material.  My kids had no childhood since they were in school until 3:30, had a brief break, then were either doing homework or studying for tests/quizzes (which we had to start days or weeks in advance) or working on projects, etc, until bedtime.  DD was struggling to keep up and got more and more demoralized with each passing year.  Working at home now we still have hard work and long days at times, but she is thriving in ways that would never have happened when we were still dealing with brick and mortar.  DS?  He would be better off in a specialized school for gifted dyslexics.  Since that isn't an option here (there are none in our area) we just have to do the best we can.

 

Have you checked out your local school district?  Maybe you have a really good one?

Your school system sounds horrendous!  Good for you for pulling them out and doing the best thing for them!  I think part of the problem with my situation is that it feels like homeschooling just isn't working.  Or, at the very least, some of us (me!) are just not very happy doing it, but I don't know if traditional school will be any better.  I'm hoping that the meeting with Special Ed coordinator will give me some idea about whether it will work at least for my 4th grader. 

[Jeeves]

I'd also like to hear if there were any ADHD/dyslexic kids who did better (or the same) in high school and what worked and didn't work for them.  It's probably dependent on the school district again, but I would love to hear stories and advice!

[wapiti]

The large public and private middle schools in our area also require computing devices (iPads, etc.), so that might be one thing to look for that doesn't even require a 504 here.  I'd ask a prospective school about how they use the devices, for reading texts or for typing stuff.

[Heathermomster]

I believe the website Miller Mom is filled with moms that send their kiddos to public school, so you may get better feedback over there. 

 

 

[PeterPan]

Do you ever just want to NOT HS your LD child?  We've always homeschooled and we started it because we thought it would be best at least for the elementary years and way before I knew I had children with LDs.  Now that I know I have one with ADHD and possible stealth dyslexia and one with dyslexia and possible ADHD (not to mention the one with some sort of writing issue--completely undiagnosed, it's just that he's 12 and his writing looks like a 6 year old and he still puts capital letters in the middle of words), I really, really want to put them in public school just so I don't have to do everything.

 

Has anyone done this?  How did it work out? Any good stories out there?

 

Also, have you ever just gotten an IEP and services for dyslexia through the school, but continued homeschooling?  Any pitfalls in this method? 

 

Discuss... ;)

Of COURSE.  And take your dc with SLDs and add ASD onto the mix.  Seriously, some days it's like I'm WALKING OUT AND NOT COMING BACK.  And I KNOW I'm not the only one around here who's thought that.

 

You have an issue of expectations.  You expected him to be able to do xyz at a certain point, and your measure of success or failure is wow he hit that or no he didn't.  I ASSUME my ds isn't going to get those skills.  Do you know what my ds wrote today?  It took him 40 minutes and we got out the foundational strokes of EZ Write, his full legal name, and 3 short math problems (1+6=7, 2+5=7, 3+4=7).  He's turning 7, so those were his mystery math numbers for the day.  And today was the FIRST TIME he could actually do that and have it be legible.  Some letters took three tries, mind you, and all had starting dots, ending dots, etc.  

 

So do I expect my ds EVER to write a paper and get his thoughts out?  There's NO WAY he's doing that by hand.  Or maybe, like Julie in KY here on the boards, something will happen that just wow unlocks it later.  But I've already decided in my mind oh well.  Anything better than that is moving up.  My expectation is use the technology.

 

I'm sorry it's going rough.  Have you had full evals to get the issues sorted out?  Are you using all the things the psych said to do?  I love Ben Foss's stuff, both his videos and Dyslexia Empowerment.  I like the *attitude* of moving beyond the disability and not getting stuck there, not getting stuck on things the technology *can* solve.

[Lecka]

My kids are in public school.  

 

My oldest son is in 5th grade, he was diagnosed with dysgraphia (bad handwriting issues) last year privately, our insurance paid for it and I took the opportunity.  

 

I am still working on getting him an IEP.  He has done well so far with understanding teachers, as far as his handwriting.  At some point, and it is probably now, he needs to type more.  I am about to go talk to his teacher, actually, she had a baby and was on maternity leave the first 6 weeks of school.  She came back last week.  This has worked out fine.  

 

My son had a rough time in Kindergarten that I regret, I didn't realize he was so lost in reading.  I did major after-schooling/home tutoring for about 3 years.  He is reading well now.  

 

He likes the other kids, and he is in a school that values kindness and good character.  It is a good structure for him.  He does not like new places, and it is a struggle to get him to participate in activities outside of school (even in the summer, etc).  I also know from before he started school, he had a hard time with going to things with me, when it was just one day a week -- it was very stressful for him, he wouldn't know what was going on.  I feel like he is a child who benefits from having a stable routine -- and I think school is a stable routine for him.  I even have trouble with him at times with church, b/c Sunday School is only once a week and that is just something that is more challenging for him.  

 

My younger son has autism, he has full-day aide support, he is in 1st grade.  He is a child who truly benefits from the social/language environment and direct support in those areas, that he is able to get at school.  It is a priority for him over some other things, right now.  I do not know if he will stay in public school long-term.  Right now it is the right choice.

 

My oldest is in 5th grade, so I don't know about older grades.  For reading -- I am not impressed.  For handwriting -- if you have done OT (and my son was in private OT for over a year, and in school OT for over two years)  -- at a certain point you get advice to move to typing.  There is also speech-recognition software, but typing is preferred for my son if it works out.... it is preferred b/c people think it will work out better for him.  We are still early in this, he is at a transitional age in some ways.  This is the first year they are doing extensive writing during school.  I have always written things for him at home and it has been fine, and he has had help at school, but this year he needs something more official and hopefully it will work out.  

 

I also have a daughter, and she enjoys school and learns a lot there.  

 

I try to get everything done in the day, and then after school, I have plenty of focus for my kids.  That is much, much easier for me than trying to multi-task.  I am really bad at multi-tasking, unfortunately.  I also do much better when I have some quiet time away from my kids.  

 

 I am also able to have lunch with my husband usually at least once, sometimes twice a week.  It is still hard to leave my younger son with a babysitter, so this is very valuable for our relationship.    

 

 

[Storygirl]

Three out of four of my children are in school this year for the first time, and there is a reason for that. I needed help. Their needs are great, and I was extremely burned out and didn't feel that I was effective at meeting them.

 

Is the school doing better than I did? Yes and no. DD10 with dyslexia is getting the OG tutoring that she needs (although it is after school, it is by one of her teachers), and it is helping. I think she may need more than this school can provide, but it's a starting point. She's an extrovert, so she's enjoying the social aspect, but she's had a hard time emotionally with her academic struggles. She just told me tonight that she would rather homeschool again, but she has different ideas each day. She is also interested in the nearby dyslexia school. She doesn't entirely feel that she belongs in her classroom and wants to be somewhere that she can feel smart and successful instead of different and struggling. 

 

DS11 has a multitude of issues, including ADHD and multiple LDs, and the structure of school has been very good for him. To keep him on track while homeschooling I had to supervise him 100% of the time, which I was not able to do, since I had three other kids to teach. It's good for him to be busy, and he's enjoying band and gym and art. But I'm not convinced that he is actually learning much, because the curriculum is not suited to his needs.

 

I just had too many children to teach with too many things that needed to be remediated. Not enough time. And children who were not cooperative. So just getting the basics done was a challenge, not to mention doing the extra things they needed. I felt like I was always juggling 100 balls at once and dropping them everywhere. It was exhausting. I was so tired that I couldn't rally and give them all they needed.

 

So there are definitely disadvantages to being in school for my kids, but there are positive things, too. This year they have to be in school, so we're trying to focus on the benefits.

[Jeeves]

 

 

I just had too many children to teach with too many things that needed to be remediated. Not enough time. And children who were not cooperative. So just getting the basics done was a challenge, not to mention doing the extra things they needed. I felt like I was always juggling 100 balls at once and dropping them everywhere. It was exhausting. I was so tired that I couldn't rally and give them all they needed.

 

So there are definitely disadvantages to being in school for my kids, but there are positive things, too. This year they have to be in school, so we're trying to focus on the benefits.

 This!  Thank you, Storygirl!  I feel like they may not get the education that I COULD give them, but I think they might do better than what I AM giving them.  I think it may be too late to put them in this year, but perhaps this could be my "gateway" year--getting them ready to go next year.

 

And maybe I can get some services with my 4th grader after I meet with the Special Ed coordinator that will relieve some of the burden, too.

 

Thank you all so much! I really appreciate all of the stories and experiences!

[Mom22ns]

Of COURSE.  And take your dc with SLDs and add ASD onto the mix.  Seriously, some days it's like I'm WALKING OUT AND NOT COMING BACK.  And I KNOW I'm not the only one around here who's thought that.

 

I'll own up to having been there.

 

I used the ps for preK-5th grade with ds. I only regret 5th. I am in no way anti-ps. Our is know as the best in the area for kids with disabilities and is well rated in general. It is a good district with wonderful teachers and administrators. It is well supported by the community, and well funded. We had a lot of good experiences there. My best friend is a director of Speical Education at another district 90 min away and they are wonderful. I can't say many positive things about any of the districts in between ours though. 

 

With that said, I'd start by researching your district. I'd meet with a counselor at the school he would attend. Information is power and I'd get as much as possible. 

 

Even after saying all of that, it is hard for me to imagine putting a 12 yo who has always been homeschooled into the pit of despair that is middle school. I would be far more likely to try to use some services for a couple of years and make the decision to enroll him full time for high school if you feel positively about what is happening there.

 

Ok, now that I've released my negative, I'll swing back one more time. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. If homeschooling is destroying you, him, your relationship, whatever, then making a change is necessary. Figure out the best change for everyone. It may be full time school. That may be what you both need and if so you should do that without guilt or regret.

[prairiewindmomma]

Absofreakinglutely.

 

We had our boys in K12 for two years so that we could get evaluations and services done through our local school district.   It was a good experience overall, but at the end of it all, we all sat down around the table during an IEP meeting and came to the conclusion that what I was doing before better met the needs of my kids.  I'm still doing the homeschooling thing. I still have a (different) team of specialists around me helping me.  I wish like I had the freedom to enroll my kids and have it be a good decision for them. That's not my reality right now.

 

I really like the idea of homeschooling everyone, but the amount of work that I have to put in for my 2E kids is easily quintuple (each) what I have to do for my non-E kids (combined).  There's not enough of me to do all of that well.

[PeterPan]

 

I really like the idea of homeschooling everyone, but the amount of work that I have to put in for my 2E kids is easily quintuple (each) what I have to do for my non-E kids (combined).  There's not enough of me to do all of that well.

This is so real.  Taking care of ds totally squashes time to work with my dd.  Ain't pretty, ain't ideal.  Sigh.

[WinsomeCreek]

On the bright side, my two tween previously mostly homeschool boys are in public middle school and having a great time. My oldest is dyslexic, but does not need services because even though he still sometimes leaves out letters (in his own name even!) or repeats words halfway through and will never get 100% on a math test where he knows the material inside-out. He has a host of compensations he developed as a homeschooler. Our district does not recognize dyslexia as a learning disability. FWIW this ds has writing that is embarrassing. 6 yo scribble sounds about right. I'm so grateful that his brother with the beautiful, elegant cursive is at the same school. The teachers do not seem to care about his handwriting quality at all. I get the impression they see plenty of scribble. The teachers he has have all focused on content. So that is good.

 

On the downside, you may have to be assertive, aggressive and persistent in getting an IEP and then in getting it followed. Bring in proof of diagnosis and people listen. We are pulling our LD kid due to bullying problems, and haven't even had the team meeting to address the learning issues yet, but in truth the school as we experienced it was a placeholder. If it is for your sake then its absolutely worth trying. One thing- ps has been far more expensive and time consuming than I imagined. Look into the schedules if you have more than one kid going to school. You might find you spend all of your time driving.