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My husband would never admit, but I think he forgot my birthday.


Prairie~Phlox
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I just need to vent, I had a wonderful weekend away with my mom & dd at a conference. Got back yesterday & I felt like I wasn't even missed, dh wasn't feeling that great, ok, I get that. He never made it to bed last night & slept on the couch. He knows this always bothers me. This morning, he went straight to brewing coffee & didn't even see if I was awake. Said nothing, about b-day, I showered & then there was a post on FB, not just to me, but others that had their bithdays as well (he's never been a romantic person anyway) I responded with "It was nice of FB to remind you of my birthday!" When he came upstairs to get ready to leave for work, he said "I don't need FB to remind me of your birthday." I ignored him & was more upset than anything & he was like "grouchy in your old age." Geesh, yeah that's it. Sorry, I just needed to vent. I wish I wasn't so emotional about this. I even get to make dinner for the family tonight. Lucky me.

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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

Well, let's just see what happens if he comes home from work without a gift and expects a homecooked dinner... ;)

 

 

Like the OP, I recently celebrated a birthday. Recently enough that there is a lot of birthday cake in the refrigerator. Chocolate... A couple of weeks ago, I heard my wife.on the phone, discussing friends coming over, and it was on my birthday.  I reminded her, "but that's my birthday". Fortunately, I like those people... 

 

A belated happy birthday to the OP and I hope her DH will make this up to her and that she won't be mad at him for a long time.

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Girl, I speak from experience, make your bday happen. You are special and should do something special today. Do something special with the kids today, and after DH gets home, go out to dinner and a movie or go buy so n ething for yourself alone or with someone that will not be a wet birthday blanket. Bring home dessert for the family after. I had the best birthday this year doing just this. :) DH loves me but is a birthday grinch, even with his own birthday. :P

 

Hugs to you, and happy birthday to you!

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Happy birthday!  I'm so sorry you've been disappointed -- I've been there!

 

Birthdays are a big deal for me.  My family of origin made a big deal of them: cake, presents, parties, etc. 

My DH did not celebrate birthdays growing up.  He says he remembers 2, maybe 3, birthday parties when he was child.  ( :scared: !)

 

Anyway, he knows I like the day to be special, but he doesn't really get *why*.  Most of the time he makes a small effort...but even his efforts can be...sub-par (which is a shame, LOL, 'cause he's always so proud of them! ;)) 

 

I finally started making my own happy.  I buy myself a present.  I take us out to eat (with our money, ha, I don't earn a salary).  I do fun things for myself.  Maybe that would work for you?

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Happy birthday!  I'm so sorry you've been disappointed -- I've been there!

 

Birthdays are a big deal for me.  My family of origin made a big deal of them: cake, presents, parties, etc. 

My DH did not celebrate birthdays growing up.  He says he remembers 2, maybe 3, birthday parties when he was child.  ( :scared: !)

 

Anyway, he knows I like the day to be special, but he doesn't really get *why*.  Most of the time he makes a small effort...but even his efforts can be...sub-par (which is a shame, LOL, 'cause he's always so proud of them! ;)) 

 

I finally started making my own happy.  I buy myself a present.  I take us out to eat (with our money, ha, I don't earn a salary).  I do fun things for myself.  Maybe that would work for you?

 

I grew up in a non-celebrating family.  I always acknowledge birthdays with a nice greeting and a card & something small.  I'm surrounded by people who celebrate birth-months and act like that's normal.  HOnestly, I'm exhausted just thinking about it.  Who has time for that?

 

OP, I'm so sorry your DH is being insensitive.  Is it unusual for him?  Can you chalk it up to his not feeling well?  I agree that you should just make your birthday happen, even though I know that stinks.  Here's hoping he'll realize when he's feeling better & will do something nice for you then.

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I'm sorry! DH forgot my birthday a couple of years ago and didn't even have FB to remind him. We were on vacation by ourselves and had a big special outing planned and he was grumpy all day because of traffic and jet lag and never said a word about my birthday. Finally, after dinner I suggested dessert and he was like, meh. I said, shouldn't I get dessert for my birthday? He felt terrible. I tried not to be mad but I'll admit I was unhappy. 

 

Happy Birthday! I hope you get to do something special.

 

 

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Happy Happy Birthday, darlin'   Do something special for yourself, drag hubby along unless he's miserably sick.  Do not cook dinner.  I repeat do not cook dinner.  Unless your kids are old enough to cook, go out or order something to be deliver.   Check to see if you have FOODTOYOU in your area.  They deliver meals from most of the major restaurants.  When we can't get out, we order a fancy meal to be delivered. 

 

Glad you have a great weekend with your mom and daughter.  

 

Mine remembers because I taught him to remember.  And I always give big hints as to what I want for my birthday and tell him where I'd like to go for dinner or what I'd like him to cook for dinner.  I'm not silent when it comes to celebrations.  

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Happy Birthday! My birthday was last week and DH was in NYC in a very nice hotel...and I was not. I am sure at some point before the end of the year we will go out and call it a birthday celebration, lol.

 

FWIW, I routinely forget my own birthday.

Lol, this is me. I forget mine often. DH and I are just not big celebrators... And we finally went out for my birthday 3 months after it happened because our schedule was just that packed and I really was too tired:-)

 

I do wish you a happy birthday!

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Happy Birthday!

 

When my friend's husband forgot her birthday their credit card took a bashing and it's become an annual thing for her to handle her own birthday present/celebration. He was always a very lame present giver and just kind of took her for granted a bit and it's really important to her. 

 

My husband has never forgotten but he puts in no real effort or forethought and it's clearly last minute most of the time. It's been pretty hurtful at times and It makes me really uncomfortable so I end up saying don't bother, as in I'd rather just receive a card. His present giving tends to be one up from something that can be grabbed at the service station shop. I do think norms in a family make a big difference. In my family we rarely ask for present ideas, you kind of just notice/remember things someone wants or find something they'd like, whereas my husband's family relies on lists for all present giving events and it's strange to buy non-list things. It can feel very cold when you're not used to it.  

 

We don't do much in the way of celebrations, the kids get a party every few birthdays. 

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Happy birthday! Hope you went out to celebrate.

 

We aren't big birthday party people for us. We let the kids have their excitement. DH would have done whatever I wanted - including having a big party. That's so not me. I would forget our anniversary if it wasn't on the calendar with reminders. But, I think it should be remembered by spouses & celebrated however the birthday person wishes!

 

:party:

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I learned long ago that my DH will never make a big a deal out of the birth "DAY" as I would want.  I get nice presents....but a month or two in advance when he sees them and buys them and says "here is your birthday present!"

 

So on the DAY of my birthday I make the plans.  I set the agenda, figure out what we will do and make it happen.

 

Would I still like a suprise from him, sure.  But I know it won't happen.

 

Also also make a BIG deal out of his birthday so he understands what it means.  He simply did not come from a culture that celebrated birthdays of adults.

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Thanks everyone.  He texted in the afternoon and asked if I wanted to go out, I suggested grilling salmon (much cheaper than going out and things are tight right now,) so I had a visa gc that had $13 on it and I ended up grabbing Salmon & Shrimp at Freshthyme & had to pay $8.xx oop.  We then watched Pitch Perfect 2 as a family. 
 

 

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