Conventions for speaking metaphorically about tea. (Please read OP first.)

[KidsHappen]

Apparently there has been some confusion with regards to some of the tea threads.

 

First of all, most of the threads regarding tea were speaking mataphorically although one was talking about actual tea the beverage. In any case, it seems that in the future we may need some way of distinguishing the two. These are the three choices that I have heard so far.

 

Also people were using tea to refer to two different but related things and not necessarily understanding each other. Some people were using it to descibe an action while others were using it to descibe the hopeful results of that action. I do think that most people understood both references but if you found yourself confused at any point, it may be helpful consider that a different meaning may have been intended. Since it was Nicole's analogy, we should go with her meaning which was the results of that action.

 

Perhaps another analogy will help with this. Alec Baldwin was in a movie (I don't remember which one) in which he said, "S*x is like Chinese food. The meal is not over until you both get your cookies." In our analogy, the tea is the cookies and the action would be the meal that leads up to the cookies.

 

Therefore, we can refer to brewing tea as the action that leads to tea. The pot would of course be the overall container or packaging for brewing the tea. So far luckily, we have had no need to refer to any male parts in the tea making process. I think that with these basics we can figure out any other references made with regards to methods of brewing tea and various appliances and kitchenwares to assist in getting our tea.

 

I hope that this post was helpful in clearing up any misunderstanding or confusion and that it will give us a common point of reference for any future discussions. I personally appreciate all of these conversations because I don't know about the rest of you but there are not a whole lot of people (certainly not as many as here) that I would be comfortable discussing this with in real life. Nor would get such a breadth of opinion and information. Thanks all.

[clwcain]

Works for me.

[Parrothead]

TEA and zucchini bread work for me. I'll go along with any spelling of TEA.

[MelaniePA]

Well, that's good to know. I thought I knew what the teA reference was(the result) but then in another thread I got the impression teA was the "meal". So, I'm quite glad this was all cleared up. I do like the teA to go along with the booKs, although I'm mostly just a lurker so......(although I do have some things to sell so I needed to get up to my 50, it wasn't so hard.)

[Lovedtodeath]

teA works, just don't get confusing by capitalizing at the beginning of sentences.

The pot would of course be the overall container or packaging for brewing the tea.

Would the "pot" (overall packaging) include all body parts then, not specific ones?

So far luckily, we have had no need to refer to any male parts in the tea making process.

I was actually thinking something up for that. I was going to say that brewing the teA can start or finish for one party member without having "water" in the "pot".;)

[Unicorn.]

I vote other. tEa. My dh is a ps teacher in Texas, and when I see TEA- I think, Texas Education Agency. Um, don't really want the metaphoric tEa, messing w/ our TEA business. :0)

[keptwoman]

This all sounds very sensible. I voted for teA

Could someone perhaps post a similar post for booKs and brazillians because I'm quite in the dark (although I suspect I get the gist on brazillians)

[nmoira]

I vote:

 

tea

 

Bit more potential for fun that way.

[clwcain]

.:D

[abbeyej]

Personally, I'm for letting this particular "metaphor" drop, now that everyone has had their fun. I think it's confusing and exclusionary for new people who come in. Why not just say "sex" when we mean sex?

[elegantlion]

I vote teA, as TEA means something totally different for me. (see sig line)

[6packofun]

I say the "tea" thing stops and everyone just says sex. Or intimacy. But that wasn't one of the choices given, was it? :001_huh:

[Nicole M]

Personally, I'm for letting this particular "metaphor" drop, now that everyone has had their fun. I think it's confusing and exclusionary for new people who come in. Why not just say "sex" when we mean sex?

 

I'm a relative newbie here, and I have never seen orgasm or sex toys discussed prior to this. I would like to think that the metaphor wasn't just about fun (playful, sure), but opened a door for people who would not otherwise dare to discuss this. I know I'm not the only person following those threads who learned quite a lot, so it was useful. And the fact that this thread had a one-star rating last night is pretty much evidence to me that folks are awfully uncomfortable with the whole subject.

 

But. I see your point. Metaphor and idiom have a place, but there is such a thing as beating a dead horse. Or letting sleeping dogs lie. Or trying to get tea out of a spent bag. Oh, there I go again...!

[Nicole M]

I say the "tea" thing stops and everyone just says sex. Or intimacy. But that wasn't one of the choices given, was it? :001_huh:

 

Okay, but those threads were the first place I've ever heard female orgasm discussed. I don't think I really live under a rock; in my community we're all pretty open and comfortable talking about sex and intimacy, but where the actual O is concerned, there is oppressive silence. If tea is the only way women here can talk about the O, then, shoot, let them have it. I think as a matter of courtesy, however, a link should be provided for the uninitiated.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

But. I see your point. Metaphor and idiom have a place, but there is such a thing as beating a dead horse. Or letting sleeping dogs lie. Or trying to get tea out of a spent bag. Oh, there I go again...!

 

There's another reason for metaphors though. This is the 'net... It has Google and others. We don't want people looking for 'sex' or 'orgasm' to get onto this board and start spamming. Also, many people here use the library to access the net, and most libraries have filters. The board may get banned (the filters are automatic, they see a word, they block the site...)

[abbeyej]

There's another reason for metaphors though. This is the 'net... It has Google and others. We don't want people looking for 'sex' or 'orgasm' to get onto this board and start spamming. Also, many people here use the library to access the net, and most libraries have filters. The board may get banned (the filters are automatic, they see a word, they block the site...)

 

But it's still equally possible to say s'x or O, without setting off filters *or* confusing anyone.

[jamnkats]

Apparently there has been some confusion with regards to some of the tea threads.

 

First of all, most of the threads regarding tea were speaking mataphorically although one was talking about actual tea the beverage. In any case, it seems that in the future we may need some way of distinguishing the two. These are the three choices that I have heard so far.

 

Also people were using tea to refer to two different but related things and not necessarily understanding each other. Some people were using it to descibe an action while others were using it to descibe the hopeful results of that action. I do think that most people understood both references but if you found yourself confused at any point, it may be helpful consider that a different meaning may have been intended. Since it was Nicole's analogy, we should go with her meaning which was the results of that action.

 

Perhaps another analogy will help with this. Alec Baldwin was in a movie (I don't remember which one) in which he said, "S*x is like Chinese food. The meal is not over until you both get your cookies." In our analogy, the tea is the cookies and the action would be the meal that leads up to the cookies.

 

Therefore, we can refer to brewing tea as the action that leads to tea. The pot would of course be the overall container or packaging for brewing the tea. So far luckily, we have had no need to refer to any male parts in the tea making process. I think that with these basics we can figure out any other references made with regards to methods of brewing tea and various appliances and kitchenwares to assist in getting our tea.

 

I hope that this post was helpful in clearing up any misunderstanding or confusion and that it will give us a common point of reference for any future discussions. I personally appreciate all of these conversations because I don't know about the rest of you but there are not a whole lot of people (certainly not as many as here) that I would be comfortable discussing this with in real life. Nor would get such a breadth of opinion and information. Thanks all.

 

What is the problem with typing sex and orgasm? The words are not vulgar, they are being used properly and exist for a reason? Or is this a WTM thing that you assign weird code words to everything?

 

In our house, a breast is a breast, a penis is a penis, a testicle is a testicle, sex is sex, orgasm is orgasm, clitoris is clitoris. I can't imagine how it can help a conversation to constantly have to refer to a code book to figure out what people are really saying. Now, I totally get the enjoyment and creativity involved when you're making metaphoric references, especially when you're enjoying the play on words, but to actually assign a code word for future conversations just seems so over the top that I can't begin to comprehend.

 

Ok, now that I've read page 2, I see that people are afraid of spammers. Is this something that has actually happened in the past? Is it a fear based on reality?

[Lovedtodeath]

Well, it's too late now. The words are officially in this site. I like the codewords because my child can read everything and if we are discussing it in code I can be *less careful about what I read when. I am pretty much on here while nursing the toddler off and on throughout the day.

[Nicole M]

I totally understand the desire not to alienate anyone. I get that. I just want to put that out there up front.

 

The idea that we should decide here about it seemed a little contrived to me, so I did not vote. But now I see that some discussion is not a bad thing.

 

I guess I feel passionate about this because people suffer because of their inability to find a safe place and a safe way to discuss these very intimate things. Many, many women suffer, and their partners, too, because they are not able to achieve the O. According to the statistics, the women here who are able to do so easily, in 5 - 10 minutes, are in the minority. Women, yes, in this country, many of them, give birth, live out their lives, without ever tasting that very human, very beautiful pleasure. I hate that. If I'd had this discussion 15 years ago it would have changed my life. I don't want anyone to suffer what I have suffered.

 

To me, this is about compassion. If a code word can help, sweet heavenly day, let her have that.

[Lovedtodeath]

To me, this is about compassion. If a code word can help, sweet heavenly day, let her have that.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

It is not about excluding anyone, and shouldn't be a problem if we provide links.

[clwcain]

I totally understand the desire not to alienate anyone. I get that. I just want to put that out there up front.

 

The idea that we should decide here about it seemed a little contrived to me, so I did not vote. But now I see that some discussion is not a bad thing.

 

I guess I feel passionate about this because people suffer because of their inability to find a safe place and a safe way to discuss these very intimate things. Many, many women suffer, and their partners, too, because they are not able to achieve the O. According to the statistics, the women here who are able to do so easily, in 5 - 10 minutes, are in the minority. Women, yes, in this country, many of them, give birth, live out their lives, without ever tasting that very human, very beautiful pleasure. I hate that. If I'd had this discussion 15 years ago it would have changed my life. I don't want anyone to suffer what I have suffered.

 

To me, this is about compassion. If a code word can help, sweet heavenly day, let her have that.

 

:iagree:

[6packofun]

where the actual O is concerned, there is oppressive silence. If tea is the only way women here can talk about the O, then, shoot, let them have it.

 

And to this, in particular, I say take it to private message or email. Not wanting to see the sexual threads increase with all of the cutesy "tea" talk as a cover for more graphic intentions has nothing to do with being repressed or prudish, btw, so let's not head in that direction...LOL This week it will be one thing and then it could get more and more bold or inappropriate, I fear. I can't be the only one thinking this way! lol

 

Sorry, I have much more respect for straightforward (and yes, lighthearted, honest, but still mature) discussion, or preferably, a request for off-the-forum advice, on specific topics when a real need arises rather than the high school girls' bathroom, teehee, let's call it tea stuff.

 

Assuming that there's a need for "freedom" for women to discuss their sexualities here and be empowered and have a place to turn to for this kind of information where there won't be shame (enter more wondrous sounding benefits here) sounds well and good (to some), but it can too often be an excuse for titillation and the excitement of shock value. That's just my concern. I think the term oppressive silence is odd because you can't know why anyone just doesn't want to talk about their intimate lives on a public forum.

 

But, as there are no guidelines whatsoever about sexual discussion on these boards, I'm merely sharing my thoughts, not trying to impose anything on anyone.

 

I wish I could remember how eloquently Plaid Dad shared why he doesn't discuss these sorts of things...and it wasn't because he was a dude in a place full of women. lol ;)

[KidsHappen]

Personally, I'm for letting this particular "metaphor" drop, now that everyone has had their fun. I think it's confusing and exclusionary for new people who come in. Why not just say "sex" when we mean sex?

 

 

This not directed to you in particular. I decided to post under you because you were the first one to bring this up. Many, many people posted that they would not have participated in this conversation if it were not for the metaphor so I see good reason to keep it around. Yes, it may be confusing for newbies but I do believe that they will figure it out much as has happened in other cases where we continue to use metaphors.

[Nicole M]

And to this, in particular, I say take it to private message or email. Not wanting to see the sexual threads increase with all of the cutesy "tea" talk as a cover for more graphic intentions has nothing to do with being repressed or prudish, btw, so let's not head in that direction...LOL This week it will be one thing and then it could get more and more bold or inappropriate, I fear. I can't be the only one thinking this way! lol

 

Sorry, I have much more respect for straightforward (and yes, lighthearted, honest, but still mature) discussion, or preferably, a request for off-the-forum advice, on specific topics when a real need arises rather than the high school girls' bathroom, teehee, let's call it tea stuff.

 

Assuming that there's a need for "freedom" for women to discuss their sexualities here and be empowered and have a place to turn to for this kind of information where there won't be shame (enter more wondrous sounding benefits here) sounds well and good (to some), but it can too often be an excuse for titillation and the excitement of shock value. That's just my concern. I think the term oppressive silence is odd because you can't know why anyone just doesn't want to talk about their intimate lives on a public forum.

 

But, as there are no guidelines whatsoever about sexual discussion on these boards, I'm merely sharing my thoughts, not trying to impose anything on anyone.

 

I wish I could remember how eloquently Plaid Dad shared why he doesn't discuss these sorts of things...and it wasn't because he was a dude in a place full of women. lol ;)

 

This is totally pushing my buttons and I'm getting upset about this, so I'll only make these last comments and then go start out school day.

 

I'm assuming, 6pack, that you had not read my last post when you wrote this. And to clarify, in the post of mine you did quote, I said, in my community there was oppressive silence.

 

I am sure I am not alone in this - my life is so busy and so full that this is the only "place" I go online. When I was suffering, I did not know what questions to ask, I did not understand the problem, I was too naive. A PM would not have helped. I saw nothing school girl locker room in the original discussion, and I did not experience any titillation. To me, it was an honest and genuine and playful discussion that I would not have encountered any place but here.

 

We all have a choice about whether we will participate in threads. If it bothers you, then don't participate.

[LizzyBee]

What is the problem with typing sex and orgasm? QUOTE]

 

Some people have filters that will not allow them to access posts that use certain words.

[Tap]

TeA...reminds me of "T n A" lol

 

 

~~Tap

[cin]

I prefer TEA to politics when I come here. I come here to relax. And the recent TEA threads have been a great way of forgetting the troubles and hassles of the day. The political threads tend to raise my blood pressure more. :glare: The TEA threads make me laugh and, I feel, are done in a tasteful way. They are in no way exciting for me, just fun and educational. I have stopped opening the political threads. If you don't like the TEA threads, you don't have to read those.

[Lovedtodeath]

I am sure I am not alone in this - my life is so busy and so full that this is the only "place" I go online. When I was suffering, I did not know what questions to ask, I did not understand the problem, I was too naive. A PM would not have helped. I saw nothing school girl locker room in the original discussion, and I did not experience any titillation. To me, it was an honest and genuine and playful discussion that I would not have encountered any place but here.

 

We all have a choice about whether we will participate in threads. If it bothers you, then don't participate.

 

:iagree: I cut the post down and only quoted what I completely agree with. I would also like to state that I think it is in much better taste to use the metaphors and probably would not join in the discussioin without them. I am one who has suffered and overcome the problem, so it goes to show that ones that could add to the discussion in a productive manner would be excluded without the metaphor.

 

 

I prefer TEA to politics when I come here. I come here to relax. And the recent TEA threads have been a great way of forgetting the troubles and hassles of the day. The political threads tend to raise my blood pressure more. :glare: The TEA threads make me laugh and, I feel, are done in a tasteful way. They are in no way exciting for me, just fun and educational. I have stopped opening the political threads. If you don't like the TEA threads, you don't have to read those.

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[nmoira]

This not directed to you in particular. I decided to post under you because you were the first one to bring this up. Many, many people posted that they would not have participated in this conversation if it were not for the metaphor so I see good reason to keep it around. Yes, it may be confusing for newbies but I do believe that they will figure it out much as has happened in other cases where we continue to use metaphors.

This is what I was about to say. I'm surprised to find myself in the pro-metaphor camp here -- typically I'd flippantly say something like, "if we're not adult enough to use the words, we're not adult enough to discuss it." In this particular case I was wrong. I've read some very earnest questions that probably would not have been asked otherwise, many by some who would not have posted otherwise, and that's fantastic.

[SapphireStitch]

Let me start by saying I like the "tea" threads and other threads with "hidden" meanings. I didn't post anything on the recent tea discussions, but I learned a few things.;)

 

For me, at my current age (45) and state of mind, these threads are NO problem at all. I think these kinds of code words express the creativity of the participants on this board. A lot of you are excellent writers and wordsmiths, and humorists and your creativity on these threads is something to behold. :lol: DH and I have been married for 21 years and fortunate to have a great marriage and sexual relationship, and we can talk frankly with each other about it.

 

But I'm concerned about women who aren't as old and tough as I am. Posters who might post something that causes the rest of us to giggle and titter and sends them shuffling off to lurkdom in deep embarrassment. I worry about putting out vibes of being an exclusive club with an exclusive language, and hurting someone in the process of having fun with words.

 

For instance, if I as a newbie post something like "Last night I was in the kitchen brewing some Darjeeling with my new electric kettle and DH was using his new Makita drill to install some new bookshelves for me. We got some stronger bookshelves to replace the old sagging ones. DH wanted to get basic black, but I thought apple green would look better with the teapot. If I can find the right fabric I'm going to stitch up a new tea cozy in pink and green to perk things up a bit."

 

I COULD say all that and mean it totally literally, right? But in light of recent discussions what are you all now picturing? If I were the newbie and someone explained to me what I had just said I would be :lol::lol: But the 25-year-old me would have been mortified and would probably never have posted here again.

 

Just some thoughts...

[SapphireStitch]

Oh, I need to add...I voted for using "tea" if we need a metaphor. I think it is less likely to be misunderstood. TEA looks like an acronym and teA could just be a typo.

[Lovedtodeath]

Beth, that is true because I was embarrassed when I posted something and got no response from it. But, I think if someone were to embarrass that easily, then it will happen with another topic if not this one.

[clwcain]

I fail to understand how it is any more or less confusing than the existing acronyms and euphemisms in place.

 

When I first started reading these boards I was completely confused by the difference, for example, between Rod & Staff and RightStart, since some people abbreviate both as RS, while others differentiate R&S from RS by use of the ampersand.

 

We're talking about homeschooling parents: bright, sharp, curious, and, in the main, bold. None of us are taking the easy way when it comes to educating our children. So I don't see why initial confusion of terms might cause undue mortification that leads someone to run and hide.

[runninmommy]

Are you also on the AF crossroads board? Your picture is so familiar I had to ask.

 

 

 

 

 

Apparently there has been some confusion with regards to some of the tea threads.

 

First of all, most of the threads regarding tea were speaking mataphorically although one was talking about actual tea the beverage. In any case, it seems that in the future we may need some way of distinguishing the two. These are the three choices that I have heard so far.

 

Also people were using tea to refer to two different but related things and not necessarily understanding each other. Some people were using it to descibe an action while others were using it to descibe the hopeful results of that action. I do think that most people understood both references but if you found yourself confused at any point, it may be helpful consider that a different meaning may have been intended. Since it was Nicole's analogy, we should go with her meaning which was the results of that action.

 

Perhaps another analogy will help with this. Alec Baldwin was in a movie (I don't remember which one) in which he said, "S*x is like Chinese food. The meal is not over until you both get your cookies." In our analogy, the tea is the cookies and the action would be the meal that leads up to the cookies.

 

Therefore, we can refer to brewing tea as the action that leads to tea. The pot would of course be the overall container or packaging for brewing the tea. So far luckily, we have had no need to refer to any male parts in the tea making process. I think that with these basics we can figure out any other references made with regards to methods of brewing tea and various appliances and kitchenwares to assist in getting our tea.

 

I hope that this post was helpful in clearing up any misunderstanding or confusion and that it will give us a common point of reference for any future discussions. I personally appreciate all of these conversations because I don't know about the rest of you but there are not a whole lot of people (certainly not as many as here) that I would be comfortable discussing this with in real life. Nor would get such a breadth of opinion and information. Thanks all.

[Doran]

I'm wearing my hip boots because I fear the waters are mighty deep. :001_unsure:

 

 

Like it or not, tea has taken on a metaphorical meaning now, at least for the many who chose to participate (or lurk) in the original and subsequent threads. For the record, at present there have been 254 individuals who've voted in that poll, 325 replies and 14,300-some views. Never in my wildest dreams would I have anticipated that kind of response, evidenced in the opening post by the fact that I mention having to bump the thread up in order to keep it alive long enough to make the poll at all useful.

 

But, goodness gracious, there was so much interest! This tells me that many people crave a safe, non-pornographic, like minded venue in which to share these kinds of thoughts and questions. I can understand that the discussion may have crossed boundaries for some. The fact that we gravitated so easily toward a metaphor is because culturally, we're not free to have blatant dialog about such things, always concerning ourselves with how will it look, how will someone else react, is it too much information, won't we look foolish, and my, isn't it rather taboo? Yes, yes! It IS taboo, which is why so many people chose to share in these cases. Because they could do so behind the veil of relative anonymity.

 

We can't/don't have these conversations with our pastors, our mothers, our sisters, our friends (okay, some of us do). Even our spouses are often left uninformed. I would argue against anyone who said it was prudish to maintain a greater level of privacy on such matters, for that is a personal and honorable choice. But, I would argue equally that it is not lewd for people to want to share this information, for it is such a vital topic - one so critical to the survival of our marriages and to our individual happiness that it ought to be permissable to discuss it as often as we please. Alas, we are a private species when it comes to sex, and have been for as long as there have been fig leaves. Unlike other creatures, who copulate in the middle of the grassy savannahs of the Serengeti and the expansive waters of the Atlantic, we humans feel that we should be discreet.

 

In my view, the "tea" metaphor is just like the booKs metaphor, which comes up time and again here, occasionally causing a newer member to have to ask, "What's this?" Except that the former grew out of a typo while the latter grew out of an otherwise awkward discussion. Notice that they both have to do with body parts and, at least indirectly, with human sexuality.

 

Right now, "tea" has taken a front burner in the minds of many who participate here. A week or so ago, it was Sarah Palin. In May, it was Barack Obama. Seven years ago, it was the Twin Towers. In due time, this will simmer down, and there will be less mention of it. I don't care whether you want it to refer to sex or the pinnacle of sex, it's just a word that seems to lend itself quite easily to discussions on either topic, complete with extended metaphors. I don't think it matters all that much whether we declare how to spell it (I'll probably continue to use "tea" and a ";)" to qualify things in a newer post). We can always link back to the thread that started it all. But, I don't think we can change or easily define what is. And, with no disrespect intended to anyone - particularly to you, KidsHappen, who I feel certain didn't expect any controversy over this post - I don't really think we should try. :001_smile:

 

We discuss everything here. I am immeasurably grateful that we do. And, I respect that we are allowed to do so because of Susan Wise Bauer, her staff, and the gift of this discussion board which they provide for us.

[KidsHappen]

Are you also on the AF crossroads board? Your picture is so familiar I had to ask.

 

Nope, this is the only board I visit.

[SapphireStitch]

Beth, that is true because I was embarrassed when I posted something and got no response from it. But, I think if someone were to embarrass that easily, then it will happen with another topic if not this one.

 

I agree, and it might be something else that we would find perfectly harmless. Oh well...I guess it's hard to work it all out so that everybody feels at home and nobody gets hurt. Another reason I'm glad I'm not a moderator!

[Lovedtodeath]

Nope, this is the only board I visit.

 

:eek: You and DH must have look-alikes!! Identity stealers! Unknown identical twins who married each other! Alien replacements!....:D

[Kay in Cal]

I'm another who is surprisingly in the "let people use their metaphor" camp. In person I don't use baby language for body parts or actions... but I think that the original discussion got far more participation than it would have using the real words. I also think the mild humor value makes it easier for many people to jump in with honest questions and concerns that they wouldn't have raised otherwise. There really are people out there who have very little access to community discussion about sexuality, and wouldn't want to hang out at the more "adult" areas of the internet because that isn't the type of info they are looking for.

 

For myself--I have an insomniac six year old who sneaks up behind me to read what I'm posting, and while I've gotten much faster with the screen changes, I would have had to drop the thread repeatedly otherwise. While I'm open with my children about sexuality, I am not ready explain female pleasure appliances to him.

[SapphireStitch]

I fail to understand how it is any more or less confusing than the existing acronyms and euphemisms in place.

 

When I first started reading these boards I was completely confused by the difference, for example, between Rod & Staff and RightStart, since some people abbreviate both as RS, while others differentiate R&S from RS by use of the ampersand.

 

We're talking about homeschooling parents: bright, sharp, curious, and, in the main, bold. None of us are taking the easy way when it comes to educating our children. So I don't see why initial confusion of terms might cause undue mortification that leads someone to run and hide.

 

 

Good point on the R&S vs. RS business; that one threw me for a loop for a while.

 

But, in regard to your last sentence, I think your imagination is hindered by your sex. If I ran the same scenario past my husband he would have a similar reaction. I'm a pretty tough old bird these days, but I wish I had been a little more thick-skinned in my youth...would have saved a lot of angst and tears.

[clwcain]

I think your imagination is hindered by your sex.

 

I'm not sure what to make of that statement, so I'm going to let it go. If anyone has issues with my participation in such discussions, because of my sex, feel free to PM me.

[Lovedtodeath]

This is my take: She is simply stating that your statement of parents on these boards being bold and not overly sensitive probably came from your unique feelings/perspective as a man. In contrast many women could be more prone to be overly sensitive about things. In actuality, women could be more prone on certain days than others to feel less bold and more sensitive. It was not in any way an indication that you should not be in on discussions. ::ducking just in case::

[Doran]

I'm not sure what to make of that statement, so I'm going to let it go. If anyone has issues with my participation in such discussions, because of my sex, feel free to PM me.

 

I don't think there is any implication of wanting you to not participate. She is only saying (I believe) that men often can't imagine the DRAMA that we women can create around an apparently benign topic.

 

"Someone thought I was talking about The Big O when I was only talking about Mr. Tetley! OH, oh, how will I ever show my face again in public!!!???"

[Lovedtodeath]

I don't think there is any implication of wanting you to not participate. She is only saying (I believe) that men often can't imagine the DRAMA that we women can create around an apparently benign topic.

 

"Someone thought I was talking about The Big O when I was only talking about Mr. Tetley! OH, oh, how will I ever show my face again in public!!!???"

 

Um, yeah, what she said.:D

[clwcain]

I don't think there is any implication of wanting you to not participate. She is only saying (I believe) that men often can't imagine the DRAMA that we women can create around an apparently benign topic.

 

"Someone thought I was talking about The Big O when I was only talking about Mr. Tetley! OH, oh, how will I ever show my face again in public!!!???"

 

Hmm...while I'm aware that some folks have that reaction, I've never noticed it was sex-differentiated. I know lots of guys, from butch heteros to screaming queens, who react with panic at what others might think of them.

 

I admit I'm particularly indifferent to what others think of me.

 

I really don't understand that reaction to a semi-anonymous message board posting.

 

But I'll just go back to being the resident Freakish Male With Very Odd Political Views Who Jumps In With Both Feet When Discussion On A Women-Dominate Board Turns To S-x And Religion.

 

:D

[Doran]

Hmm...while I'm aware that some folks have that reaction, I've never noticed it was sex-differentiated. I know lots of guys, from butch heteros to screaming queens, who react with panic at what others might think of them.

 

I admit I'm particularly indifferent to what others think of me.

 

I really don't understand that reaction to a semi-anonymous message board posting.

 

But I'll just go back to being the resident Freakish Male With Very Odd Political Views Who Jumps In With Both Feet When Discussion On A Women-Dominate Board Turns To S-x And Religion.

 

:D

 

 

 

Do Jump In! Shall we give you an acronym? FM? Or maybe you'd prefer fM? :lol:

[SapphireStitch]

I'm not sure what to make of that statement, so I'm going to let it go. If anyone has issues with my participation in such discussions, because of my sex, feel free to PM me.

 

ARRGGGHHHH....okay, I'm going to plead for mercy here because I'm posting with a migraine. I don't have ANY problem with you posting on this thread, any thread about sex, any thread about anything. Well...I don't know...can't rule out something in the future that might be embarrassing. But I thought your posts on the tea thread were done very tastefully and with a certain "feel" of your wife being there agreeing with you in spirit if not actually in writing that made it seem perfectly natural and comfortable for you to be involved in a topic that originally was directed at women.

 

What I was attempting, not at all successfully, to say was: You are having a hard time imagining someone being embarrassed or offended because you are a man and men (in general!!) don't get their panties in a wad (metaphorically!!!) about offending each other. I envy men's freedom to say things very frankly to their friends without worrying about a sensitive reaction.

 

Is that any clearer? It wasn't an insult; it was an attempt at an explanation for why I thought caution was in order and why you might not...based on what I have observed of men in general and my DH, brothers, father, son, and friends in particular.

 

And if I have just made a total ass of myself and committed a major blooper and you are not in fact a man. Well, just shoot me now. My head couldn't feel any worse.

[SapphireStitch]

Thank you to Doran and LovedtoDeath for 'splaining!

[clwcain]

SapphireStitch,

 

All good. I wasn't sure what you meant. Others moved to clarify. You did further. All good.

 

As I noted above, I don't see it as a male/female distinction based on my experience.

 

And, yes, last time I checked I was a man. :ohmy:

 

Sorry to hear you have a migrane. My mother has suffered through them for years.

 

Thank you for the compliments on my composition.

[beansprouts]

I just can't wait to see SWB's next sticky on posting guidelines for "teA time" discussions. :lol: