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Please. Stop. Talking.


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  I miss homeschooling, but I love the silence.

Thank you!

 

I get tired of people saying things like "One day they'll all be gone and the house will be quiet."

 

Yeah, I'd like a chance to get tired of quiet. :)

 

Maybe I need to break my rule of no coffee after noon.

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We are a family of introverts with one extrovert - my daughter.  Poor girl.  She  never stops talking.  All of us want her to shut up.  I mean that in the nicest way.

 

She also hates to stay home.  I love staying home.  She even wants to go with me to the grocery and drug stores.  Always, always.

 

 

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What I don;t understand is how in the world two incredibly introverted parents could have three of four kids who Never. Hush.

 

It doesn't help that my oldest is irritable today so if I don't halt everything and listen to every minute description of what she has in mind  I get "You don't care about what I have to say!!!!" (sob)

 

And I am thinking. "Well, actually...no I don't care that much."

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I feel your pain, although thankfully I only have one talking extrovert and 1 who feels the needs to go with me EVERYWHERE.  Of course with 6 kids my house is never quiet unless it's the middle of the night when everyone is sleeping.  My husband is always complaining I stay up too late but it's the ONLY time I can think and get things done (important things anyways like transcripts, course descriptions and a counselor letter for the kiddo who needs to start applying for college very soon and mom doesn't have her part of the paperwork done yet).  The really sad part is that my niece is an extrovert and people are always telling her she talks too much.  Even she finds my talking extrovert daughter to be too much.  I wish I knew how to teach my daughter that every thought that crosses her mind doesn't need to be spoken out loud and require a response from someone else.

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and require a response from someone else.

 

Yup. This is what is utterly exhausting.

 

If I don't laugh out loud at every joke or respond to every comment I am "ignoring" my oldest. (wail)

 

Honestly, she takes SO much from me, that I feel that she leaves very little for my other younger kids.

 

And she gives my youngest grief for talking so much!

 

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Thank you!

 

I get tired of people saying things like "One day they'll all be gone and the house will be quiet."

 

Yeah, I'd like a chance to get tired of quiet. :)

 

Maybe I need to break my rule of no coffee after noon.

 

The thing is this: I need some quiet NOW so we can all survive until they are grown and gone. Quiet is my oxygen.

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Oh man, I only have one of these. I cannot imagine having three. I wouldn't be homeschooling, and I'm not kidding. I'm barely making it now! Major props to you for hanging in there so long  :grouphug:

 

typically, my younger two chat with one another. so thats one good thing.

 

thankfully, my oldest can drive, So she can find other people to talk to, but if she doesn't have anything planned...ugh.

 

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My boss / friend is a think-out-louder when she needs to make a decision.  It especially bugs me when we've already had that conversation to death, and I actually have other work to do!  Anyway she's going to do what she's going to do, regardless of my input.  :/

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I had about an hour in the car alone with my extrovert today.  We talked about his day for a while and then he opened up his book...and proceeded to give me a play-by-play of all the events happening in the book, along with filling me in on the backstory so I would understand the importance of the events.  No, he can't just quietly read on his own.

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We have three introverts and one extrovert. The introverts will literally hide from the extrovert to get some peace. While I feel slightly guilty about it, I am not above faking GI distress to get ten minutes of relative peace and quiet. 

 

I do feel bad for our extrovert (the youngest)... he really just wants to tell you everything that pops into his sweet little head.  :rolleyes: He will talk to anyone. He talks to the dog, his fish, the tomato plants. It's very sweet, and very exhausting.

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My oldest 2 are non stop talkers. And my 3rd is showing signs of being just as gregarious. I really struggle with wanting them to grow up feeling listened to and acknowledged while still maintaining my own sanity. I'm not sure how it's going to work out.

 

The other day my DS was telling me about a dream he had and he went on for 10 minutes. On and on and on and on. No one's dreams are that long or detailed. He was just telling a story. Which is fine, but he totally tricked me. LOL

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We have one raging extrovert. She is a wall of words. I've come up with hand signals to let her know that she needs to dial it down. We have a "use less words" signal, and also a "volume/energy down" signal.

 

I have one of these too.  As soon as DH walks in at night, she's talking a blue streak to tell him about her day.  We've been known to shoo her off and lock the bedroom door for a moment so we  can say hello to each other in peace :D   She'll also interrupt people to spout out whatever happens to be on her mind at the moment, which we're working on.  I've started just putting my hand out in the "stop" signal when I'm in the middle of a conversation with someone and she's trying to interrupt.  It helps.  Sort of.  I'm hoping some of it will just come with time and maturity.  We could definitely use a "volume/energy down" signal though, too. 

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I commute to work every day with my extrovert - two hours round trip trapped in brutal traffic with a non-stop talker. Literally nowhere to hide. I have actually asked him to please stop talking. "Why, Mum? I like talking. Talking is fun. Do you know what I like about talking?..." and he launches into more talking about talking. Sigh.

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If it makes you feel any better, all six of my kids are introverted to some extent, and yet somehow they find the energy to talk - and pick on each other - in the car when I get them from school.  Most of them can be sitting there quietly but it only takes one to start a problem (almost always one of the ds12s).  Maybe I should do what dh does:  use earbuds...

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The thing is this: I need some quiet NOW so we can all survive until they are grown and gone. Quiet is my oxygen.

 

I used to love to listen to silence.  I loved the sound of snow falling.  I will never hear these again.  Now I not only live where it seldom ever snows, one of my two is a chatterbox who processes everything out loud (requiring responses, too).  The thought has occurred to me that the 20 years I've suffered from tinnitus has, to a degree, helped to pre-condition me to deal with this.  But only to a small degree.  And only when the incessant ringing isn't driving me crazy.

 

Now I have a love/hate thing going on with my hearing aid.  It's got some discomfort issues at times (only sometimes, like when I wear sunglasses).  Today my battery went dead while I was driving 3 kids (my two and a nephew -- we joined his class's history field trip) around on a field trip.  Sometimes I really don't need or want the augmentation to my hearing (so I pull the battery slot open to turn it off sometimes), and sometimes certain shrill noises, such as shrieking toddlers, screaming kids, recorders or tin whistles, or construction equipment (like sawing metal -- shudder) -- these cause very unpleasant shrieks and whines of feedback noise that can be quite painful, especially when occurring so suddenly I can't take countermeasures in time.

 

But I can turn the TV up a little less now, and I'm able to hear some things better.  But best of all -- what makes it worth the bother most of the time -- is it increases my brain's ability to ignore and filter out the tinnitus.  The ringing doesn't go away, it's still there, but it's less bothersome.

 

I just spent more than 2 days without my hearing aid in for various noisy occurrences.  I had it in today, though, and things are better.

 

Now, is it bed of me to be slightly relieved that my youngest, who has recently fractured her elbow, is tired out enough to be sitting quietly and not chattering about every single detail of today's fun?

 

I hope not.

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My dd is very extroverted and chatty, too. Luckily her little brother doesn't mind hearing it, but it can really wear me down, to the point where I have to ask her to stop talking for a while. I feel so bad doing that, but I get so that I'm about ready to crawl out of my own skin if I don't get relief from the onslaught of words! 

 

I nearly fell over laughing one day at the pool when my dd informed me that she had been seeing if she could talk underwater, and had discovered that she could!  :lol:  My unexpressed thought, was "Of course you can!!"

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I have one that is nicknamed "The Talker Stalker".  Unfortunately for me he is the one who is homeschooled, not the one that goes to school.

 

I know your pain.

 

One of my brothers was like that. He meant well, but still... My mother once had a nervous breakdown because of him. Seriously. :blink:

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I've been babysitting my friend's five year old one day a week for the past four weeks and probably have three or four more to go before her schedule changes. And overall he's a good kid who is easy to please and obeys me. But omg, he will not stop talking. And I'm sorry to be mean, but the last thing in the world I want to listen to is about all his imaginary pokemon's abilities. I say imaginary because he doesn't know about pokemon so he just makes them up. Which is creative and so on, but I. Don't. Care. I can listen to that for about five minutes before I start getting bored and he can literally talk for hours on end. I have to tell him to hush up because we simply must do school work but he gets bored and it's hard to hold all those words in.

 

I don't understand it. My oldest is like this. Why must everything be shared? Why is her mind an open book? No, books are silent. Their minds are more like a TV I can't turn off. When I say something It's because I think it's something someone else will find interest in. My daughter and my friend's son don't think that, they are demanding my attention only to satisfy their own need to share, using me as an audience, not a conversational partner. This is understandable in a five year old, but my daughter is 14. At some point, isn't she too old to be behaving like this?

 

And yet, I've met adults like this. One was a mom who followed me out of my children's TKD class to my car and kept me standing in the snow freezing my butt off while she talked at such a steady stream I literally couldn't find a pause long enough to say, "Ok well, gotta go." So I just stood there... I wondered later if she's ever had anyone just turn and get in their car and drive away while she talked. My husband's grandfather was like this actually. One time we were in the car together for a couple hours and he talked my ear off and then I was dropped off and he and my husband and MIL drove on. He commented when I got out of the car, "Mimm doesn't say much does she?" My MIL (his daughter) said, "Well she couldn't get a word in edgewise!"

 

Maybe I'm being grouchy about this. Tuesday is co-op day and I'm all social'ed out. ;)

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My two extroverts are gone - DD21 to college and DS23 to the Air Force.

 

The house is lovely and quiet most days.  Even our dogs are quiet lay-arounds unless it's time for their walk.  

 

The cat is by far the most chatty individual in the house these days until DH gets home.

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We have three introverts and one extrovert. The introverts will literally hide from the extrovert to get some peace. While I feel slightly guilty about it, I am not above faking GI distress to get ten minutes of relative peace and quiet. 

 

I do feel bad for our extrovert (the youngest)... he really just wants to tell you everything that pops into his sweet little head.  :rolleyes: He will talk to anyone. He talks to the dog, his fish, the tomato plants. It's very sweet, and very exhausting.

 

:lol:  Be warned though.  My Talker Stalker once told a friend of mine, and I quote, "my mom sure spends a lot of time in the bathroom."

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I am currently sitting in the basment steps while foster DS showers in the basement.....while one dd is talking NON stop to me from the main floor.

 

Even as a teen she doesn't seem to get that a closed bathroom door means that MOM needs 5 minutes of quiet.

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My dd is very extroverted and chatty, too. Luckily her little brother doesn't mind hearing it, but it can really wear me down, to the point where I have to ask her to stop talking for a while. I feel so bad doing that, but I get so that I'm about ready to crawl out of my own skin if I don't get relief from the onslaught of words!

 

I nearly fell over laughing one day at the pool when my dd informed me that she had been seeing if she could talk underwater, and had discovered that she could! :lol: My unexpressed thought, was "Of course you can!!"

My DD will talk to me as I'm swimming. She will paddle beside me and speak when I breathe. I've threatened to stop coming up for air.

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I commute to work every day with my extrovert - two hours round trip trapped in brutal traffic with a non-stop talker. Literally nowhere to hide. I have actually asked him to please stop talking. "Why, Mum? I like talking. Talking is fun. Do you know what I like about talking?..." and he launches into more talking about talking. Sigh.

Oh you poor dear! Road trips are my special hell, so daily would do me in for sure. :grouphug:

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I do feel bad for our extrovert (the youngest)... he really just wants to tell you everything that pops into his sweet little head.  :rolleyes: He will talk to anyone. He talks to the dog, his fish, the tomato plants. It's very sweet, and very exhausting.

 

Yeah, this is my son. He likes to read comic books out loud! Tried to tell him it's just not the same, but it doesn't slow him down!

My oldest 2 are non stop talkers. And my 3rd is showing signs of being just as gregarious. I really struggle with wanting them to grow up feeling listened to and acknowledged while still maintaining my own sanity. I'm not sure how it's going to work out.

 

The other day my DS was telling me about a dream he had and he went on for 10 minutes. On and on and on and on. No one's dreams are that long or detailed. He was just telling a story. Which is fine, but he totally tricked me. LOL

Dreams...I hate dreams. It's annoying. And it occurs first thin in the morning.

 

I commute to work every day with my extrovert - two hours round trip trapped in brutal traffic with a non-stop talker. Literally nowhere to hide. I have actually asked him to please stop talking. "Why, Mum? I like talking. Talking is fun. Do you know what I like about talking?..." and he launches into more talking about talking. Sigh.

Ahh yes, the talking about talking. We've done that here too!

 

I

 

. Why must everything be shared? Why is her mind an open book? No, books are silent. Their minds are more like a TV I can't turn off.

 

t. ;)

I get it! Only the TV doesn't go "mom....mom....aren't you listening?" sigh. "Why do I bother talking to you!" wail.

 

My two extroverts are gone - DD21 to college and DS23 to the Air Force.

 

The house is lovely and quiet most days.  Even our dogs are quiet lay-arounds unless it's time for their walk.  

 

The cat is by far the most chatty individual in the house these days until DH gets home.

Now that's something to look forward too!

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I understand! I am loving our first year of online classes. They do two. I schedule their first one from 7:30-8:30am. Peace! I can get my coffee, eat something and get ready to face the day, all without listening to three running conversations about everything.

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I am the only introvert in a houseful of extroverts. I feel your pain! Sometimes it is actually painful to be stuck in a room or car with them as they go on and on and on....

 

I have a mantra I say to myself over and over: I will miss them when they grow up. I will miss them when they grow up.

 

But I will not miss the noise. Some days I would give almost anything for some quiet.

 

Some days I bribe them with TV just so they will be quiet. I enjoy the silence so much I don't even feel guilty about the TV.

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I have an extreme talker. I wouldn't even classify myself as an introvert...may a mesovert? Okay. So I made that up, but she.never.stops.

Even reading. I have mentioned that she could read silently, especially since she read at least a couple of hours everyday. She actually said, 'no thanks mom, I LIKE the sound of my own voice!'

 

We did have to intitute a Talking Zone rule to ensure I would

At least get caffeine prior to the aural

Attack!

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