Team sports

[naturegirl]

What are everyone's thoughts on team sports? Are they an important part of a child's life or not really that important at all? 

 

My son is 7, and I've spoken about him on these boards before. He may or may not have a diagnosis of high-functioning autism (depending on the doctor you talk to) and is also kind of the weird kid in most groups. I've held off signing him up for sports. He's not very athletic and has trouble sometimes in group situations. He doesn't have much experience with sports. He was in a homeschool PE for a little over a year, but was getting very distressed about it, so I stopped making him go.

 

This year I thought it might be time to try again. I asked him first if he'd like to play and he said he wanted to play basketball. I signed him up in a non competitive league and didn't think much more about it. It's clear to me know (hind sight is 20/20) that I should have been doing a lot to prepare him for this. All the other kids know how to play and know all the rules and whatnot. Not all of them are great, but they are all better than my son and it is very obvious to him.

 

Since that first practice my husband and I have both been practicing with him every day. His passing has gotten a lot better, but he still can't really dribble very well. I see now that basketball was a very bad choice for us to make, as it's kind of a complicated one. It's the sport that he wanted to play, but I should have tried to steer him in a different direction (once again, hindsight).

 

They did a scrimmage tonight at practice and I can see now that there is no way in the world that he can play in a game. Not only was he near tears on the court, he was constantly trying to leave to come sit with me and never had any idea what he should be doing at any given time. 

 

My husband wants him to keep playing. If it was just a matter of him being good enough to play but bored with it, I'd make his stick the season out, since he made a commitment. But I'm hearing him say things like "I'm not good at anything," "Everyone hates me," that sort of thing and I'm worried this experience could actually be damaging to him. 

 

When you look up the benefits of team sports for kids, confidence building is usually one of the top things listed. This experience is in no way building his confidence. I've never in my entire life hear him speak this way about himself. As I'm typing it out, I guess the answer is pretty clear. He needs to drop out of the team. 

 

But as far as team sports go, should I keep trying to figure something out for him? Is there any way to salvage this year of basketball? If I try again for a difference sport, are there any suggestions? Or are team sports not really that important for everyone?

[kroe1]

Yep, this is a tough one.

 

Twenty years ago, most kids had school and then played on their streets. Now, by age 4, they are well entrenched in a sport. Personally, I would be honest with him by explaining it is clear everyone else has had more practice than he has. If he wants to still play, then catch him up with private lessons or more time playing with your husband and you. Upward sports is a good league for beginners in several sports. Is there a church in your town which offers it?

[itsheresomewhere]

Individual sports work best for my DS. We tried team sports but it did not work for him as he has HFA.

[naturegirl]

Yep, this is a tough one.

 

Twenty years ago, most kids had school and then played on their streets. Now, by age 4, they are well entrenched in a sport. Personally, I would be honest with him by explaining it is clear everyone else has had more practice than he has. If he wants to still play, then catch him up with private lessons or more time playing with your husband and you. Upward sports is a good league for beginners in several sports. Is there a church in your town which offers it?

 

If you were going to try to find someone to give private lessons, how would you go about this? This is something I've been considering for the past year, but don't really know where to start. I don't know any older kids in our homeschool groups and we don't attend church.

[Sdel]

I purposefully didn't register my daughter for rec soccer this season because she was making similar comments as your son. She is 7 and had played five seasons. She was consistently the most uncoordinated and left out player. We just started exploring swim team and it is a much better fit. She is actually pretty good at it considering she was a non-swimmer about 6 months ago.

 

Stefanie

[mamaraby]

If one is interested in a team sport, with a kid who does not have a whole lot of experience, YMCA/rec soccer is our pick every time. Even in the upper grades, there are usually kids who are playing for the very first time. Last year, on ds's 4th grade YMCA team, there were mostly brand new players. Plus, there's ample space for a not so good player to still be on the field and involved without feeling like it's all their fault. YMMV, and it's going to vary depending on the team/organization so shop around.

 

My NT kid wanted to do basketball a couple of years back, but dh kind of discouraged hm from pursuing it for many of the reasons you mentioned in your OP. It's tough to place an inexperienced player on the basketball court.

 

But, yeah, in your case something like swimming, track and field, cross country, or similar individual sport may be a better fit. Team sports are good, but they aren't the only way to build those skills. Different shoes for different feet.

[naturegirl]

I really don't know that you need a team sport for some of the benefits you are seeking. I played basketball on a few teams. I wasn't very close to anyone on my team. I played because I liked basketball. I was okay. I practiced at home (my dad and sisters all played). But I was never really close to my teammates and don't know that I'd say it was a confidence builder per se. Actually, in some ways there was a bit of a bullying vibe. I remember at practice a girl pulling on my jersey when I tried to run across the court. We were told to buy shoes that matched the school colors. I was the only one successful in that and they weren't the most attractive shoes. I'm pretty sure the girls laughed at me. A few of the other girls all got the same shoes, but they weren't at all like what we were told to buy. I was a bit of the black sheep on my team.

 

Is he interested in anything with less emphasis on the team dynamic? Swim? Track and field?

 

If it makes you feel any better, ds has only ever done martial arts and we also learned the hard way that some of our expectations were not going to be met. He was involved for a full year, but we didn't make friends. I was hoping that would be a way to cultivate friendships. Over the summer I told my dad about some possible summer camps for ds and my dad flat out told me that he was worried my son would be teased for not knowing how to throw/catch etc. We got ds practicing with a basketball. He worked on dribbling at my dad's house. We never even went looking for a basketball goal. My dad said he needed to just focus on dribbling (I've never been as good at dribbling as my father). For ds' birthday he sent him a youth basketball. He suggested I wait til next summer to worry about getting him on any teams so he would have time to prepare. As it turned out, the local camps were not geared toward his age except the one just for girls. I just want you to know this is a concern for other parents as well. I feel badly because my son is behind in the whole sports arena. The weather here is so unpleasant we don't go outside much and dh is quite busy but knows the most about sports here (he played three).

 

Thanks for the feedback. It's good to be reminded that many people out their don't have all positive experiences with team sports. I do feel like I've failed a bit letting it get this far without him having many sports skills. But at the same time, he's just not that interested. And he's also really not that good. Perhaps he would be better if we spent hours a week practicing, but I don't think he has any desire to, and I really think it would take a huge amount of time to catch him up to his peers, if it was possible at all.

 

He may be able to do a swim team one day, but right now he's not a good enough swimmer. He takes lessons, but progress has been slow. I've thought about the homeschool indoor climbing program they have. But the youngest age allowed to join is 7. I hate for him to be the youngest in a group because he is a bit immature. 

 

Gosh, this sounds like I'm really critical of my son. Really, he is a great kid who excels at reading and loves to build contraptions. While we were waiting for basketball practice to start he was making a ramp out of his legs to see how far he could make the ball roll. The other kids were practicing their shooting. I think that right there is telling me something.

[Starr]

He's 7. In the olden days of my youth there weren't team sports for 7 year olds. I would look for something that works best for him.

[Jenny in Florida]

Sports were and are not something we valued for our kids. 

 

Each of mine did other things--things they chose and enjoyed enough to work on--that provided them the benefits usually associated with sports.

 

My son, for example, is a dancer. He started ballet classes when he was about your son's age. Over the years, he's gotten lots of exercise, worked as part of a team, built confidence, made friends, found mentors  . . .

 

And, oh yeah, he also earned some scholarship money for college.

[Sneezyone]

DH is adamant about some kind of physical activity but both of our kids benefit most from individual vs. team sports. DD isn't hyper competitive, she just likes flipping, and DS is too competitive and impatient to be a good team player. DS isn't old enough yet and rec.-level team sports are cheap but, as soon as he qualifies, DS will start running track. Is there a USATF youth program near you?

[Nart]

What is the age range for players on the team? Are they all 7 year olds? Is it 7 to 8 year olds or 6 to 7 year olds? If he is on the younger side of the age division and there is a younger age division talk to someone at the league to see if he can drop down a division because he is struggling.

[Pink and Green Mom]

If you were going to try to find someone to give private lessons, how would you go about this? This is something I've been considering for the past year, but don't really know where to start. I don't know any older kids in our homeschool groups and we don't attend church.

 

I would start with asking the president of the league of your sport if he has any recommendations.  My husband is the president of our baseball Little League and could name several people who do private lessons for hitting, catching, or pitching.  He gets calls like this often from people.

[MEmama]

Agreeing with other posters. There are many sports that are more individual, yet within a team. XC, track, swimming, skiing all come to mind.

 

My son was 8 when, during soccer practice one day, we realized he couldn't run. Totally lacked the ability. He'd hop around or skip in the general direction of the ball, but no real running and "soccer playing" like the other kids. This, despite already years of soccer and 4 years of hockey. We enrolled him in a rec running league at my husband's insistence, and totally to my surprise he loved it. He's long ditched soccer and competes in distance running and triathlons. I would have never believed it then.

 

I agree that sports are not the be all, end all for all kids. BUT... physical activity is soooo important. There is a truly breathtaking number of ways to achieve activity and inclusion. Even most small communities offer a wide range of opportunities if you look hard enough. Look past the biggies like baseball, basketball, soccer and football which can be ridiculously competitive at very young ages. The running culture is known for its inclusion and supportive atmosphere. I'd venture that most sports outside the big ones (especially) are generally more supportive of individual effort no matter what that looks like.

 

If he's feeling pressure or severe exclusion from other seven year olds (!!), you haven't found the right fit. Kids need to be built up, not torn down, and leaving that atmosphere is far from giving up.

 

Good luck! :)

 

Just thinking--you might ask him why he's drawn to basketball. Is it possible he doesn't know what else is out there? Casually messing around on YouTube might show him other options beyond what's found in mass media.

[Library Momma]

My daughter volunteers on the weekend for a TOPS soccer program.  It is designed for special needs kids and there are indeed children with all level of abilities.  They run drills and play scrimmages but there isn't the pressure you see in other soccer games - even rec level games. Perhaps there is a similar program in you area?

[plansrme]

I am going to second (third?  whatever) swimming as a possible outlet, as well as, when he is middle-school aged, cross country.  Swimming is as competitive as you make it, and nearly any USA swim team (or YMCA team) is going to have a training group suitable for any level of ability.  I firmly believe that swimming has benefits for the mind as well as the body.  

 

But for now, even if he's never going to be a competitive basketball player, he still will do well learning to dribble and pass.  Also, I firmly believe that every kid needs to know how to throw a ball just so he isn't humiliated as an adult when he plays catch with his own baseball-crazy kid.  Maybe you could work out a deal with him and the coach that he just practices this season and doesn't go into games.  Would that alleviate some of the pressure?  

 

 

[regentrude]

I do not consider team sports necessary. Individual sports can provide the same benefits.

 

None of my children was remotely interested in a team sport. For them, an individual sport (horseback riding for DD and Judo for DS) is a much better fit and provides the same benefits for physical fitness and character development, such as perseverance, overcoming obstacles, developing confidence, curtailing perfectionism....And there are interactions with other athletes, in the barn and on the mat, that allow for cameraderie.

 

ETA: One of my goals for my kids' athletic activities is to instill life long habits. Many individual sports are much more suitable for pursuit during adult life than team sports.

[itsheresomewhere]

Just a thought-  after we realized that team sports were not a fit for DS, we gave him time off.  We built him up by trying different sports as a family in the yard.  After a year, he started trying individual sports.  

[KarenC]

What are everyone's thoughts on team sports? Are they an important part of a child's life or not really that important at all? 

 

My son is 7, and I've spoken about him on these boards before. He may or may not have a diagnosis of high-functioning autism (depending on the doctor you talk to) and is also kind of the weird kid in most groups. I've held off signing him up for sports. He's not very athletic and has trouble sometimes in group situations. He doesn't have much experience with sports. He was in a homeschool PE for a little over a year, but was getting very distressed about it, so I stopped making him go.

 

This year I thought it might be time to try again. I asked him first if he'd like to play and he said he wanted to play basketball. I signed him up in a non competitive league and didn't think much more about it. It's clear to me know (hind sight is 20/20) that I should have been doing a lot to prepare him for this. All the other kids know how to play and know all the rules and whatnot. Not all of them are great, but they are all better than my son and it is very obvious to him.

 

Since that first practice my husband and I have both been practicing with him every day. His passing has gotten a lot better, but he still can't really dribble very well. I see now that basketball was a very bad choice for us to make, as it's kind of a complicated one. It's the sport that he wanted to play, but I should have tried to steer him in a different direction (once again, hindsight).

 

They did a scrimmage tonight at practice and I can see now that there is no way in the world that he can play in a game. Not only was he near tears on the court, he was constantly trying to leave to come sit with me and never had any idea what he should be doing at any given time. 

 

My husband wants him to keep playing. If it was just a matter of him being good enough to play but bored with it, I'd make his stick the season out, since he made a commitment. But I'm hearing him say things like "I'm not good at anything," "Everyone hates me," that sort of thing and I'm worried this experience could actually be damaging to him. 

 

When you look up the benefits of team sports for kids, confidence building is usually one of the top things listed. This experience is in no way building his confidence. I've never in my entire life hear him speak this way about himself. As I'm typing it out, I guess the answer is pretty clear. He needs to drop out of the team. 

 

But as far as team sports go, should I keep trying to figure something out for him? Is there any way to salvage this year of basketball? If I try again for a difference sport, are there any suggestions? Or are team sports not really that important for everyone?

Basketball is complicated.  Is there another sport he is interested in?  Martial arts, archery, swimming?  I would also consider gymnastics to increase coordination, strength, and balance.  Gymnastics is a great base upon which to build other sports.

[unsinkable]

I don't think team sports are necessary...but I do think moving, doing, playing ARE important. Engaging in hand-eye and body coordination activites are so beneficial and important to kids' development.

 

If he enjoys the basketball even a bit still, I'd stick with it IF you practice with him daily. Dribbling, passing, shooting, jumping, running...all things you can do together.

 

And if he doesn't want to stick with it, I'd still be doing stuff like that daily.

 

Good luck!

[naturegirl]

What is the age range for players on the team? Are they all 7 year olds? Is it 7 to 8 year olds or 6 to 7 year olds? If he is on the younger side of the age division and there is a younger age division talk to someone at the league to see if he can drop down a division because he is struggling.

 

It's 6-7, so I can't drop him down, but this is good advice. Thanks!

[naturegirl]

I don't think team sports are necessary...but I do think moving, doing, playing ARE important. Engaging in hand-eye and body coordination activities are so beneficial and important to kids' development.

 

If he enjoys the basketball even a bit still, I'd stick with it IF you practice with him daily. Dribbling, passing, shooting, jumping, running...all things you can do together.

 

And if he doesn't want to stick with it, I'd still be doing stuff like that daily.

 

Good luck!

 

Okay, this is good advice. I should start working with him daily on his skills. Back when we had a nice yard with grass we were outside in it several days a week tossing a ball, playing with a hula hoop, etc. Our current yard isn't nearly as conducive to playing such games and I've let it slide. Time to find a nice park and pick that back up. 

[Orthodox6]

Our Asperger's son never had any interest in team sports; nor would they have been a good fit for him.  He also has NVLD, an additional deterrent to athletics.  He grew up to be very social, very happy among people.  He takes long walks for fun and fitness. 

 

My own thoughts are that team sports are excellent enjoyment for those who desire to participate.  I do not view them as at all essential.  There are other ways to develop team-working skills. 

 

Perhaps your son would respond positively to a sport that can be "individual" such as ice skating, roller skating, swimming, gymnastics, track, or other such.

 

ETA:  Thanks, Poppy, for the word that was slipping my mind!  I changed "solitary" to "individual".

[poppy]

In our neuropsych eval, the doc recommended individual sports for our ADHD/anxiety daughter.  Said team sports were setting her up for failure at this stage of her life.  I think that makes sense.

[Hwin]

Basketball is going to be a rough team sport. Very loud, very bright, very fast paced and very likely to be an overwhelming sensory experience.

 

Soccer and baseball have been a better fit, although not great. My son really loves gymnastics. 

[SKL]

Have you talked to the coach about how they can include him without it being too traumatic?  For example, maybe he could just play part of the 1st quarter (do they do quarters - I don't know basketball).  Or during the most "non dangerous" times.  That way he wouldn't feel the pressure of the whole game and could cheer his team and get excited for his teammates.  You could tell him that this is his first game and everyone is still learning the basics when they play their first game.

 

I think as a mom, I would try to let him have the experience of being on a team and winning or losing with the team.  After the first game I would re-evaluate.  And I would talk to him.  Did he enjoy the game?  Did he learn anything?  Does he still feel basketball will be his sport?

 

I didn't realize how my kids would be on a team until their first game (soccer).  We lost, my kids didn't make any goals, but they were right in there celebrating their teammates' goals.  At the end they were pumped for the next game.  So you never know until you try.

[klmama]

I suggest you consider martial arts.  Ask around to find one with encouraging, supportive adults who set reasonable expectations for skill development and are firm while still being kind.  Try to find a school that doesn't require a long-term contract.    

[SKL]

I agree that martial arts would be great if he is willing.  Our MA teachers are super with including kids with all sorts of needs.

 

I do put value on the fact that he chose basketball.  If you do drop basketball, discuss the specific reasons why he discovered it wasn't the sport for him.  It's not about him not being talented, it's about his talents not being the same talents used in basketball.  :)

[SKL]

PS I can totally relate.  I have zero ball tracking skills.  I can't even watch basketball on TV.  :)

[unsinkable]

PS I can totally relate. I have zero ball tracking skills. I can't even watch basketball on TV. :)

Hockey must be out of the question, too.

 

Teeny tiny puck!

 

:lol:

[SKL]

Hockey must be out of the question, too.

 

Teeny tiny puck!

 

:lol:

 

You should have seen me trying to learn tennis.  HA!

 

[Tsuga]

Did not read the thread.

 

I think it's important to try team sports once, but only if there is a quality, child-friendly, positive league available. If it's all screaming tiger parents, no.

 

Otherwise, there are lots of quasi team sports like swim and track which require commitment but which don't involve deflecting spherical or oblong projectiles with any part of your body. Not surprisingly, my kids seem to prefer not having a ball fly at their face in the rain at 9 am on a Saturday. But the little one is going to give it a shot and the older one tried it.

[Arctic Bunny]

I coached a wonderful program last year just so I could get it into our boys' school. It's the Steve Nash program, and it teaches step-by-step. Easy for a person who hasn't played since grade 8 to coach :) One thing I learned is that 3on3 is great. It puts the emphasis on passing instead of running back and forth. It was amazing to watch the development of the kids over the twelve weeks we did it. We had some kids who couldn't run; some who couldn't run, shoot, pass, or dribble; some who were known for poor attitudes. The Steve Nash program put an emphasis on a life skill every week. Encouragement. Positive Attitude. Team work. And it was surprising how the team took it seriously. The kid with the "bad attitude" was giving everyone high fives, telling the ones struggling "nice pass". I was shocked. And by the time we played in a tournament at the end? They had skills. They focused on each person's strengths. One girl hadn't gotten a basket yet, so ON THEIR OWN, the kids decided whenever they got the ball, they would pass it to her. She ended up with five baskets that game. And this was the kid who couldn't run at the beginning. You should have seen her!

All that to say, I think there are so many sports out there, that if you have the opportunities available, the environment is really more important than the sport. If the coach isn't interested in teaching the skills needed to play, then that team isn't for you.

On the other hand, my younger DS was 7, and had to tag along because I was coaching, and even though he was technically old enough (by two weeks), and even taller than some, he just wasn't ready. He was the youngest, none of his classmates were there, he had a hard time. This year however, I think he'd do well.

If they are having a scrimmage at the end, are they focusing on skills for the rest of the time?

[gingersmom]

Have you tried ice skating?

 

My kids made so many friends at the skating rink. You can compete as an individual or with a partner. Or you can do it just for fun! My kids literally spent their entire weekends at the skating rink (and they were not the only ones!)

 

 

[naturegirl]

Did not read the thread.

 

I think it's important to try team sports once, but only if there is a quality, child-friendly, positive league available. If it's all screaming tiger parents, no.

 

Otherwise, there are lots of quasi team sports like swim and track which require commitment but which don't involve deflecting spherical or oblong projectiles with any part of your body. Not surprisingly, my kids seem to prefer not having a ball fly at their face in the rain at 9 am on a Saturday. But the little one is going to give it a shot and the older one tried it.

Our pictures are so similar that before I saw your name I was wondering why I had said I didn't read this thread, since it's my own thread. Then I realized that it wasn't me who had somehow types that message without remembering but someone else.

 

I agree that a different sport that is more individual may be a better option.

[Rachel]

He's 7, there is plenty of time for him to learn skills he needs to work on a team. He doesn't necessarily have to learn those skills through sports though. He could be in band, orchestra, debate, choir, 4H, Science Olympiad, or any other activity that requires cooperation.

 

I think as long as you are looking for opportunities, you will find some over the course of the next decade.

 

(I didn't read all the replies, sorry if I repeated someone else's thoughts.)

[Petrichor]

Our city offers skill camps(summer and school breaks) and classes for different sports, especially in the summer. Maybe try something like that?

 

Maybe your DS would benefit from a public school PE class perhaps especially if they have a special ed PE class, if your state allows it? 

 

I would pull him out of basketball, but talk to him about how he isn't a loser just because he can't play basketball as well as everyone else. If he works hard, he might be able to improve for next year. Or he might find another activity to do that is more enjoyable. Basketball isn't for everyone, and there are lots of other activities out there. 

 

The only reason I have my DS in sports is because it's something fun he can do with other people as the teacher. Bonus points that it's physical activity.

 

If you want to have him in something that involves private lessons, try asking people at your local rec center, or posting an ad there (or on other community bulletin boards).

 

 

[naturegirl]

I coached a wonderful program last year just so I could get it into our boys' school. It's the Steve Nash program, and it teaches step-by-step. Easy for a person who hasn't played since grade 8 to coach :) One thing I learned is that 3on3 is great. It puts the emphasis on passing instead of running back and forth. It was amazing to watch the development of the kids over the twelve weeks we did it. We had some kids who couldn't run; some who couldn't run, shoot, pass, or dribble; some who were known for poor attitudes. The Steve Nash program put an emphasis on a life skill every week. Encouragement. Positive Attitude. Team work. And it was surprising how the team took it seriously. The kid with the "bad attitude" was giving everyone high fives, telling the ones struggling "nice pass". I was shocked. And by the time we played in a tournament at the end? They had skills. They focused on each person's strengths. One girl hadn't gotten a basket yet, so ON THEIR OWN, the kids decided whenever they got the ball, they would pass it to her. She ended up with five baskets that game. And this was the kid who couldn't run at the beginning. You should have seen her!

All that to say, I think there are so many sports out there, that if you have the opportunities available, the environment is really more important than the sport. If the coach isn't interested in teaching the skills needed to play, then that team isn't for you.

On the other hand, my younger DS was 7, and had to tag along because I was coaching, and even though he was technically old enough (by two weeks), and even taller than some, he just wasn't ready. He was the youngest, none of his classmates were there, he had a hard time. This year however, I think he'd do well.

If they are having a scrimmage at the end, are they focusing on skills for the rest of the time?

This program sounds awesome. It looks like it is only in Canada though? At least all of my google searches resulted in Canadian programs.

 

Yes they are focusing on skills the rest of the time. My son does okay except for the dribbling. He makes a few baskets when we practice. And his passing is getting a lot better.

[Ellie]

Not important at all.

 

Millions of children in the world never, ever participate in team sports and still learn to work well with others and whatever other things that children are supposed to learn by playing on a team.

[naturegirl]

He's 7, there is plenty of time for him to learn skills he needs to work on a team. He doesn't necessarily have to learn those skills through sports though. He could be in band, orchestra, debate, choir, 4H, Science Olympiad, or any other activity that requires cooperation.

 

I think as long as you are looking for opportunities, you will find some over the course of the next decade.

 

(I didn't read all the replies, sorry if I repeated someone else's thoughts.)

Thanks for this. It's good to look at the big picture. I'm so bogged down in the moment where my son is miserable. This whole parenting thing is harder than it looks.

[naturegirl]

In our neuropsych eval, the doc recommended individual sports for our ADHD/anxiety daughter. Said team sports were setting her up for failure at this stage of her life. I think that makes sense.

This is my biggest fear, that I am setting him up for failure. If the end message is "I tried my best at something new and it didn't work out, " that is a good lesson to learn. If the end message is "I'm a failure, I can't do anything right, I never want to do anything like this again," then I want to get him out now.

[Cafdog]

I will put in a vote for fencing.  A lot of the smart, quirky kids who are not team sports "types" end up in fencing...and loving it!  It is a very strategic sport, and filled with people of all shapes, heights, and sizes.  My DD and her fencing friends tend to be engineering/science'y/Dr Who and comic book-loving types. My daughter's coach is always lamenting how he loses a lot of his varsity fencers on weekends to robotics competitions!  

 

:lol:

[catz]

Team SPORTS?  I don't think are actually that important.

 

Physical fitness and leading the life style of an active person is very important to me.  Learning to work WITH people, possibly in a team type format is also very important to me.  7 is very young.  I actually think basketball is kind of a silly sport for many kids that young.  My kids played soccer at that age and that was much more forgiving in terms of rules and game play.  I am not a pull at the first complaint kind of parent.  Usually I tell my kids we're going to give something new a full season or 3 months before we decide if it's a fit.  But if it's damaging him and he won't be playing anyway, I'd consider pulling him.

 

My kids are not competitive athletes, but have gotten quite a bit out of more individual or non-competitive athletic pursuits - unicycle, acrobatics, dance, circus arts, etc and have improved a bunch.  My kids get team skills more from class settings.  My son is on a youth council for a theater and does theater productions.  My dd is now part of a performing group at a dance studio and in orchestra.  There are lots of other ways to build team skills without competitive sports.

 

ETA - I also know a bunch of quirky kids that do martial arts or fencing (my kids have tried both at points).  Great idea!

[Wheres Toto]

The only competitive team sport my oldest did was dance.

 

My younger two don't do any team sports and their individual sports are non-competitive.  They are often with the same groups of kids so they are building friendships but there's no competitive aspect.  Some may have an opportunity for competing when they get older but I'm not worried about it at all for now.  They do bowling, swimming, ice skating, fencing, archery, zumba, and dd does tumbling.

We do run a 4-H STEM club and there are some competitive opportunities there.

[LucyStoner]

Everyone is different.

 

Team sport was crucially important to me as a preteen and teen. My years of softball are unquestionably some of the best lessons I ever learned and all of the time and work put into that really helped me on multiple levels. It was a significant enough factor that I doubt I would have gone to college without that outlet in my high school years.

 

My older son has ASD. He did two years of t-ball oblivious to what was going on around him. His "sports" are chess and spelling bees. He is going to run track this year. I don't think he's missing out on anything. He's just a different person.

 

Here, the YMCA is often the place for first time players.

[Arctic Bunny]

This program sounds awesome. It looks like it is only in Canada though? At least all of my google searches resulted in Canadian programs.

 

Yes they are focusing on skills the rest of the time. My son does okay except for the dribbling. He makes a few baskets when we practice. And his passing is getting a lot better.

Oh dear, what are the chances something would only be available here, lol?!