s/o Master- How did you change your name when you married?

[Joules]

On the thread about the use of Master for young boys, the topic of name changes came up.  Kathryn asked how we know what middle name most women use:

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/563108-when-did-young-men-stop-being-referred-to-as-master/?p=6564827

 

I knew back when I was the age that everyone was getting married and talking about it, but that was in my local area.  I'm curious about this larger more diverse group.

[Joules]

Oh, I have to run off to class, but I'll read all the replies when I get back.

[regentrude]

Other. I do not have a middle name.

I changed my last name to DH's last name.

[bettyandbob]

I had a student 25 years ago, whose parents got creative. Each parent kept his/her name. They had two dc. They made up new last names combining the letters of their names for each child. Everyone in the family had a different name--to emphasize that each person was a unique individual.

 

My dd started her senior year yesterday. Her psychology teacher is male. He told thtm about his last name. He and his wife made up the name and legally changed both their names.

 

I changed my name to dh's. In part because his name is simple and at the beginning of the alphabet. Having had a hard to doll end of alphabet name before, I really appreciate this name.

 

I like the family unit having the same name. I think it's a nice emphasis on that unit. You can come up with that by making up names, hyphenating, or changing to one spouse's name.

 

ETA this is not say that if family members have different names they are less family. Obviously a name alone cannot achieve family cohesion. In fact, you could all have the same name and the most dysfunctional family that ever existed.

[edelweiss]

I dropped my middle name and now use my maiden name as my middle name.  So, I'm a A C D.

[SeaConquest]

First marriage:

 

ABC

 

Second marriage:

 

ABD

 

Facebook:

 

ABCD

[MomtoCandJ]

I changed my last name, kept my middle name.

[Word Nerd]

I dropped my maiden name but kept my middle name.

[mommaduck]

I had a student 25 years ago, whose parents got creative. Each parent kept his/her name. They had two dc. They made up new last names combining the letters of their names for each child. Everyone in the family had a different name--to emphasize that each person was a unique individual.

 

My dd started her senior year yesterday. Her psychology teacher is male. He told thtm about his last name. He and his wife made up the name and legally changed both their names.

 

I changed my name to dh's. In part because his name is simple and at the beginning of the alphabet. Having had a hard to doll end of alphabet name before, I really appreciate this name.

 

I like the family unit having the same name. I think it's a nice emphasis on that unit. You can come up with that by making up names, hyphenating, or changing to one spouse's name.

If I'm understanding correctly, this would be craziness for a genealogist :P But very interesting.

[mommaduck]

When we married I changed my last name to my husband's. If we had known we were allowed to do more, we would have. I would have changed my first and middle back around to it original form (my stepfather insisted on my names being flipped in order) and we probably would have changed our last name entirely if we had known how much trouble sharing a last name with my BIL was going to be (but we could not predict that).

 

It was not traditional in our families for women to take their maiden name in place of their middle name. You simply dropped your maiden name.

[Cinder]

A B C D--kept all 4 names, taking dh's last name as mine and moving my maiden name into the middle name slot so that I have 2 middle names.

 

After we got married MIL asked what I'd done to my name because she had chosen a non-traditional name change. (She was married in '49.) She dropped her given middle and took her maiden name to be her new middle name; SIL (dh's sis) did the same. His other sis didn't change her name at all because of her job where name recognition was important. My mom and sis both dropped their maiden names and took on the new last name.

[Spy Car]

Whadda you mean? :D

 

Bill

[medawyn]

My middle name was my mother's maiden name, which is also a body part. I had been looking forward to dropping it in favor of my maiden name for a long time! So I am A C D. It's only a little confusing now, because my DS's first name is my maiden name.

[bibiche]

Whadda you mean? :D

 

Bill

I dunno, Bill, it's never too late. ;) My BIL changed his name to ours. If DH hadn't already made his professional name I would have tried to convince him to do the same as I rather like the idea.

[Kathryn]

ABCD for me.

 

ABD for my mom. ACD for MIL.

 

ACD for my grandmothers and great-grandmothers.

[bettyandbob]

If I'm understanding correctly, this would be craziness for a genealogist :P But very interesting.

I think you understood correctly. A couple of generations from now anyone in those two examples will have trouble tracing their roots.

[BrookValley.]

I didn't change my name. 

 

Our kids are first name, middle name, my name-his name. 

[Ellie]

When I got married, I did not know that keeping my maiden name was an option. My mother, and her mother, and all my grandmother's sisters, had no middle name to keep, and I didn't know anyone else who had done it, so I didn't, either. Also, I go by a diminutive form of my middle name, so when I did learn that that was a Thing, it didn't seem right to drop my middle name...

 

OTOH, one of my cousins did just that (her mother and my grandmother were sisters), so I guess she and I had different experiences. :-)

[Jean in Newcastle]

Whadda you mean? :D

 

Bill

In Japan, if the husband comes from a family with more than one child but the wife comes from a family with no other children, he will take the wife's name upon marriage so that the geneological line will continue.  It's never too late to change your name, Bill.

 

BTW - my dad legally changed his last name when he was 16 to a more easily spelled variant.  

[purpleowl]

I dropped my middle name and now use my maiden name as my middle name.  So, I'm a A C D.

 

This.

 

My sister was born ABC but has always gone by B.  She was told when she got married that changing to BCD was not an option - she could be ABD, ACD, or ABC-D, but she could not legally drop A and move B to the first name spot.  (I think the reasoning had something to do with the Patriot Act, but I'm not clear on the details.)  So her legal name is now ACD, but she still goes by B.  She tells people that she uses an alias. ;)

[Tap]

ABD.  I liked dh's last name wayyyyy better than mine, so it was an easy choice.   

 

DD16 hates our last name and looks forward to changing it when she gets married...or sooner.  LOL   Our last name is a very simple German last name with two parts. There is a scientific discovery associated with our name, so sometimes people mention that.  The name is not a big deal, it is spelled just like it sounds, but we always have to spell it for everyone and answer the eternal "with or without a space".  Then they are surprised that it really is just like it sounds.  :0) 

 

 

She just wants a simple, plain last name. Smith or Jones would do nicely.  LOL 

[shawthorne44]

My parents had thought I was going to be a boy.  So, they'd had the boy's name all lined up, and a girl's first name.  After I was born, they were literally polling the nurses at the hospital what their name was and what that meant.  Then they picked one, I never developed an attachment to it.  I knew it was an option, and since I have more attachment to my last name I went ADC.   It did seem to make the transition easier.  i suspect I would have had to provide more proof that I was still me if my married middle name wasn't my extremely unique maiden name.  

[73349]

I invited DH to take my last name, which is much easier to spell and pronounce and at a better location in the alphabet, but he turned me down. So we each kept our own.

 

DS has DH's last name.

 

I've been the only person in my household with my last name since I was seven.

[No More Perfect]

I took my husband's last name when I married because my maiden last name is silly sounding. I've kept my middle name. I've never heard of dropping someone's middle name and using a maiden name for their middle name. (Of course, now that comes to mind, SWB and other women with their maiden names; but I never assumed they were dropping their middle name, just using it for professional reasons)

[Jenny in Florida]

Other.

 

I didn't change my name at all when I got married.

 

Then we had a couple of kids, both of whom got my husband's last name. And they both disliked that my name was different from theirs, especially my son. So, eight years after we got married, I decided to do a legal name change and take my husband's last name.

 

But once I started down that path, it occurred to me that I could get rid of the middle name I had never liked AND make my nickname (which I had always strongly preferred) into my official first name. 

 

So, I am now, using an extended version of your variable system: (Nickname for A) E D.

[luuknam]

A B D. My mom's A D-C (hyphenated the normal way in NL, and she never had a middle name). Though I don't recall there being any paperwork about legally changing my name... I just started using A B D after I was married, because everyone mispronounces and misspells C, even though C is 5 letters long (c'mon people, how hard can a 5-letter name be?!). Otherwise, I probably would've done A B D-C, or A B C and talked my spouse into taking my last name. I eventually even switched to using my first name instead of my middle name because of spelling/pronunciation issues as well, so now people call me A D and it looks like I could've been your run-off-the-mill white American by birth. So, I went from ethnic-looking gobbledygook B C to Anglo-ish A D.

[Closeacademy]

I didn't change my name.  My kids have dh's last name.  It was the thing to do in the mid-90s.  I felt bad about it in the early 2000s but then started watching a lot of Asian entertainment.   This is the way they do names and I think it makes a lot sense.  Wife keeps her name and identity.  Kids know who mom is but they are also a part of dad's family so they share his name. 

[Janie Grace]

I dropped my maiden and kept my middle, taking dh's last name. Now I wish I kept my maiden as a middle. 

[creekland]

ABD - never even thought of considering other possibilities and definitely no regrets now.

[Hwin]

I hyphenated. ABCD.

 

Our kids all have the same last name as my husband. Now if I wanted to change it, it will actually cost me a couple hundred dollars, but I'm thinking about it.

[mellifera33]

ACD for me. My given middle name was boring and I like DH's last name. :)

[HelenNotOfTroy]

I did different things at different times.

 

First marriage

 

started with ABD, then changed to ACD

 

Second marriage

 

ABD

 

Facebook

 

ACD

[Matryoshka]

I think I legally kept both middle/maiden, but they both have the same initial, so I just use FirstName, Initial of both miIddle/maiden, DHLastName.

 

I think only my passport has them all written out?  My driver's license has the format above.  I do not hyphenate; it's more like maiden name became another middle. 

[Bluegoat]

I kept my name.  One of the motivation was that at the time, I was in the army, and I thought it was entirely possible that changing my name might mean that I would not get paid for a year until the beuracracy had sorted itself out.  And I just wasn't attached to dh's name, which isn't that different than my own.  I do often get called by his name in social situations.

 

My kids all have his name.

 

If I did change, I think I would keep my middle name, add a second middle name from my maiden name, and then dh's name.  I don't tend to like the more complicated solutions of changing all names and making new ones, or even hyphenating, that much.  With hyphenation I always start to imagine giant long names in a few generations, and I like to be able to trace names.

 

It's not unusual around here to see kids given a maiden name, of a mother or grandmother, for a middle name, r sometimes even a first name if it isn't too weird.

[BarbecueMom]

ABD. It takes me a few minutes to remember how to spell C anymore.

[Tess in the Burbs]

I dropped my maiden name.  however, I wish I had just added my new last name to my full name.  Not going to bother with it now.  But that is how I wish I had done it. 

[FaithManor]

I had to vote other. I had my degree and teaching license in my maiden name, and was job hunting at the time of our wedding. No time to get the name changed before employment, and I wasn't certain it was worth the hassle. So, I kept my maiden name professionally and do for the most part now though some 4-H families know us very well, and are used to the more traditional approach so without thinking about often refer to me as Mrs. his last name to the kids. I don't get upset about that because it probably is a little confusing to the younger kids in the group to have to remember that Mr. and Mrs. have different last names. However, outside of 4-H, professionally, I go by Ms. maiden name. Socially, my parents and his as well were just conventional and so they tend to refer to us by the same last name.

 

So legally and professionally I am maiden, socially just out of force of other peoples' habits which are not likely to change, his last name. It seems to work for us.

 

DD has chosen the same. She would have had her EMT Basic, EMT Advanced (paramedic), 7 FEMA certifications, and bunch of college stuff to change in addition to Social Security and driver's license, and due to licensing and security rules, she wouldn't have been able to work until all of those name changes came through correctly and new licenses and certifications were issued. It would have greatly delayed her ability to get work in her field. His family still introduces them as Mr. and Mrs. his last name, and she doesn't correct them or others because she figures it isn't worth the angst though she does introduce herself as "This is my husband, Mr. first and last name, and I am Ms. maiden name."

[idnib]

A B C. I was the first person in my family to not change my name at all after I got married.

 

And I didn't set any precedents, either, if you look at all the marriages in the family following mine.  :)

[Arcadia]

I have a long first name, no middle name and did not change my last name. No one on both sides of the family have middle names. I just pick A B C since I didn't change my name.

[Ananda]

I don't feel like I "choose".  My name was A B C D (where C represents my mother's maiden name, and D represents my father's last name).  My mother squished the two last names together into one ridiculous last name with two capitol letters and 13 total letters.  This was the last name I used until my teens.  In my teens, I saw my birth certificate.  Aparently the state wouldn't let her use that name so legally I had two last names w/ a space.  That the the form, I have been using since.  My brother still uses the mushed up version.  I HATE my last name.  In computer systems, is my last name CD, C-D, C, D, something else?  

 

 My husband has a nice 4 letter normal last name.  I was seriously all for changing it, but I didn't. . .  I don't feel like I chose not to change my name.  I wanted to, but not (apparently) enough to actually do it.  I perceive it as an expensive, complicated and inexact process.  That's probably not true. 

 

Socially I use my husbands last name, I doubt anyone knows I didn't change it.  Only on things that need my "real" name do I still use the stupid last name.  Some day I hope to get around to changing it.  

[Joules]

Whadda you mean? :D

 

Bill

I tried to keep it gender neutral where you could still vote, since some men do change their names. I realized after that "maiden" is definitely not gender neutral. Maybe it should be "original?"

[Lawyer&Mom]

I added my husbands name as a second middle name. So ABDC.

 

It wasn't an option on my marriage license, I had to pay money and go to court, but I'm glad I did. I was able to keep my maiden name professionally, which was a big deal for me. if I had changed my last name I would have had to change my email, and my maiden name would have disappeared from the system. Anyone searching my maiden name would think I had left the organization. Grrr.

 

I also have a unique maiden name I absolutely love. It's rare as a name, but common as a noun, everyone knows how to spell it.

 

My daughters have Dh's last name. I'm thrilled that also carry the name, albeit not as a last name. But it's on my driver's license, passport, etc.

[ikslo]

In Japan, if the husband comes from a family with more than one child but the wife comes from a family with no other children, he will take the wife's name upon marriage so that the geneological line will continue.  It's never too late to change your name, Bill.

 

 

So what happens if there are two brothers, and they both marry someone who comes from a family with no other children?  Who loses out?  One of the wives?  Or do they both take the name of their wife and their own family line stops?  Just wondering.

[idnib]

So what happens if there are two brothers, and they both marry someone who comes from a family with no other children?  Who loses out?  One of the wives?  Or do they both take the name of their wife and their own family line stops?  Just wondering.

 

I don't know but it sounds like the basis for a musical or something.

[FaithManor]

Hey Bill, I think you should change your IRL surname to "SpyCar"! William SpyCar. It looks cool, and sounds even cooler! I bet your son would love it.

[Jean in Newcastle]

So what happens if there are two brothers, and they both marry someone who comes from a family with no other children?  Who loses out?  One of the wives?  Or do they both take the name of their wife and their own family line stops?  Just wondering.

Well, none of it is mandatory or anything.  I suspect in that case the default would be to continue the man's family line and the wife's family line (name wise) would stop.  It's just more that it is a socially acceptable and not unheard of variation on the name game to consider the wife's geneological lineage.  

[FaithManor]

I consider the female geneological lineage to be just as important to trace as the male's. So I am not certain why it would be an undo hardship for a family historian to have to research additional surnames. But, then again, I'm a pragmatist. I just do not see the value of choosing one surname over another to make tracing a line easier especially in this era of history with so many step-families in which half siblings do not have the same surname anyway.

[friscomom]

My husband has the same last name as my maiden name, so I did not have to change my name at all!

[Orthodox6]

In that I did not do what I am about to describe, I cannot select "Other" in the poll.

 

Shortly after I was married, I received a note in the mail from my mother-in-law.  The envelope was addressed to "Mrs. My-first-name  Husband's-first-name  Husband's-surname".  I figured she was just in a hurry.  Turns out that in her region of Greek culture, that is how things were done.  She did this herself, here in the U.S.  Her husband's given name became her middle name, followed by his surname. 

 

Of course, the far greater problem with Greek names is the naming system which results in the same given names heavily represented within any given extended family.  At my wedding reception, a woman introduced herself to one of my uncles with a friendly, "Hi!  I'm M____, X____ Y____'s wife."  (I had just gotten married to "X___   Y___".)  My uncle was shocked!

[mommaduck]

In that I did not do what I am about to describe, I cannot select "Other" in the poll.

 

Shortly after I was married, I received a note in the mail from my mother-in-law. The envelope was addressed to "Mrs. My-first-name Husband's-first-name Husband's-surname". I figured she was just in a hurry. Turns out that in her region of Greek culture, that is how things were done. She did this herself, here in the U.S. Her husband's given name became her middle name, followed by his surname.

 

Of course, the far greater problem with Greek names is the naming system which results in the same given names heavily represented within any given extended family. At my wedding reception, a woman introduced herself to one of my uncles with a friendly, "Hi! I'm M____, X____ Y____'s wife." (I had just gotten married to "X___ Y___".) My uncle was shocked!

"Nick, Nick, Nicos, Nick, Nikki...and I am Gus."

 

I was interesting to learn the naming patterns....how grandparents' names became children's names and in what order.