CoffeeMusicLaughs Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 Hi folks, Well, we had a long, boring summer, and now we're gearing up for the school year. Unfortunately, it's hard getting started. I was hoping for a "soft opening" of doing a few subjects last week, and we did do a little, although less than I had planned. They're already complaining. Even my oldest, who usually doesn't complain as much as the next two, is talking about how he thinks traditional school would be better. This has been a grueling year for me in my personal life, in many ways. There are things I really like about homeschooling (mostly the teaching/subject matter) but dealing with their behaviors is really tough, and I don't know how much I can hold out. I'm also having problems with our co-op community. I'm wondering, at what point do you throw in the towel? We're about to meet with a psychologist to see if we can get any help with our second child who just turned 9. This is the third time we've tried to get help. He's so difficult. I'm feeling really alone and exhausted. What can I do? Homeschooling takes a lot of energy, and I wonder if I'm just making myself crazy for nothing. How do I decide? How do I deal with not knowing if school would be better for them? Would appreciate some advice and encouragement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 I have a couple of questions first, if I may. Is this your first year homeschooling? Were your kids in public school previously? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoffeeMusicLaughs Posted September 8, 2015 Author Share Posted September 8, 2015 I have homeschooled for 4 years. We never did public school. Each of my kids did Montessori preschool before starting school at home in 1st grade. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiara.I Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 Have they complained previous years? I honestly expect that any transition from "mostly free time" to "much more schedule and expectation" would meet with complaints, and I wouldn't assume that the complaints mean something's wrong, you know? But yes, it's energy-sucking. That, in itself, wouldn't be enough to prompt me to throw in the towel. For your oldest, I'd just write out a quick time comparison. If he'd really prefer traditional school you can "practice" having traditional school by having him sit at the table, with only bathroom breaks, until recess at the school, have a 15 minute recess, then back to the table until lunch. Lunch at the table, then 40 minutes recess (or whatever your local school has) then back at the table for another 2.5 hours. Then he can have a half hour break, and then do 2 hours homework. I would suspect one day of that should cure the "real school would be better" complaints... But if there's other stuff going on and you're really feeling overwhelmed... I don't know. Write out a "pros/cons" list? Maybe wait until after you meet with the psychologist to see whether it seems like real help is going to be coming, or whether you think school would be more helpful for that child? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jess4879 Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 I can't answer those questions for you. Your breaking point may or may not be the same as mine. Your goals may or may not be the same as mine. I can tell you that we've been doing this since my oldest was 5 and this year is probably the first year that I am fully and truly excited and encouraged to be homeschooling. And there are still occasional doubts that seep in, but I can push them away now. And as I type this my kids just finished having a meltdown over mini-wheats and I secretly wished there was a bus coming to pick them all up in 15 minutes. :lol: I can't say if you should keep homeschooling or not, because I don't know what your day-to-day struggles are. I think the complaints are normal though. My kids are all happy to homeschool and think the idea of public school is rather appalling...and yet my oldest two have definitely realized that school means work and interrupts their play time, so yes, they complain. The transition from summer to school in the fall is a bit of a stretch for us all. We've dabbled with schooling year round, but prefer summers off. After a couple weeks, things get back to normal. If you send them to school, you will still have that adjustment period. They will probably be cranky in the morning and cranky when they come home. It will level out. There are definitely going to be highs and lows. Sometimes it means it's time to change things up, sometimes it means you just need to buckle in and ride it out. Take some time and really look over your reasons for homeschooling and decide if it's meeting your needs. If not, why? Is it something you can fix or is it time to make a change? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 This year (my 8th homeschooling), it is a job that I show up for every day, pulling my big girl panties up all the way. My lack of enthusiasm is related to life issues and special needs with kids, as well. I trust that if I suit and show up, I will not feel this way long-term. If I do, I will look making changes. I did not always feel this way. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 nm 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verity Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 We are starting week three (with week one being only 2 days due to unforeseen travelling/job interview/house hunting with dh)...and I had a long talk today with my 13 and 9 yr old ds. I know that they are kids but the constant moaning, sighing and bickering is unfair to me and to them also. They agreed to work on their attitudes because they do know that homeschool is shorter and better in so many ways than any public school. The last two years I took a break from homeschooling to teach at a small Christian private school and my boys attended with me. Even with all the benefits of small, private, religious still we missed homeschooling. This is tough stuff and some days I'm glad to call it early and hide in a dark room! But it was like that with my teaching job too - and I couldn't hide or leave early then so...this has to be better! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaryMak07 Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 I'm new here, and haven't homeschooled yet BUT I was a public school teacher. It was a big transition for most kids at the beginning of the year (and I taught in a great school with innovative teaching methods - far from kids at desks all day). Change in routine/structure is just tough for some kids and it takes a bit to transition after a different pace over the summer. There are certainly differences but imagine there'd be some similar difficulties. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeeves Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 It sounds like you have concerns and difficulties with your 9 year old and that maybe getting a handle on that would help some? I'm glad that you're not giving up on him and trying to get help! Have you tried posting in the Learning Challenges board about his issues? There are some great people over there that have BTDT and can maybe help point you in the right direction with him (testing, what schools can offer, what to expect, etc.). Good luck! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 A week into school this year I made an impassioned speech citing the kidnapped and enslaved girls in (forgot the name of the country--a couple hundred of them were taken from their school in an African nation), and Malala and how they risk DEATH, literal DEATH and literal enslavement to have access to the education that I provide. Those girls are SLAVES because they wanted to learn. Slaves. It's horrendous. Gosh, what a gorgeous speech it was. And it worked. No complaints for the past 2 weeks. But then again, they're almost 13 and 10. Yours might be too young. And my boys had heard about those girls before, so they knew what I was saying was true. It might not have worked if they hadn't seen pictures of these people on tv. But, yeah. Kids will complain and be pretty relentless in their complaints and it is so wearying and discouraging. Really, this is the first year that the complaining stopped for my 10 year old. I've found that it's not until 10 that they give up the complaints and start to cooperate. YMMV. As far as your 9 year old, if that one needs a traditional school that doesn't mean you have to stop homeschooling everyone. There are lots of combinations out there. At this point, it's too early to give up just because of complaints. It's time for a lovely speech about complaining and consequences for complaining. For terrible attitudes, where the child storms and stomps and gets himself riled up, I tell him to go somewhere quiet to settle down, but when he is settled the work is still waiting for him plus an extra chore for making us all witness such unpleasantness. Again, this only has worked once they're about 10 and up. Younger than that and they fall apart even more. Before 10, they're not logical or selfless enough to understand how complaining is manipulative and a weapon against others. Once they clue into that, I call them on it and give them extra work for their efforts. I now have a very clean basement door and clean lightswitch plates. It only took those 2 jobs for ds10 to realize I meant it. I'm not a meanie about it. It's all done very quietly and logically without a lot of drama on my part. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PollyOR Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 :grouphug: Erin :grouphug: If putting on your own oxygen mask means letting someone else educate your kids, that is okay. They need you to be a good mom first. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea_lpz Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 My kids schooled "lite" through summer. Today was a "full day". Pretty quickly after they realized we'd be doing school more than an hour or two the grumbling began. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindydanleo Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 I've heard a total lock-down usually helps bad attitudes. It is when everything is taken away. No friends, no activities, no toys, no tv, video games...nothing! They get a bed, food and love. They can gradually earn things back by a change in attitude. I've done a mini version of this...I just got rid of electronics but left the legos. It worked well. A friend of mine did it and when he slammed his bedroom door in a huff...she took that too. Lol I guess you have to figure out if it is just a bad attitude or an underlying issue. Learning delays/disabilities, depression, psychological problems are a whole different thing which can emmulate a bad attitude. The lock-down may not be the best thing in those cases and may cause more harm then good. Otherwise...it's great. I love the look of shock when you tell them what you are going to do. The days that follow are soooo peaceful. :) Good luck to you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Would the 9 year old get the help he needs in a public school regards assessment and assistance or would it just make things worse? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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