Thoughts on high IQ's?

[HSinNH]

In the hopes that our town would financially contribute to sending DD14 to an academically-superior high school, rather than our local PS (we tuition each child to the schools in the next town over), we had her tested by an educational psychologist where she completed the WISC. I always knew that things came easily to her and that she was academically ahead of her peers, but I never felt the need to have her officially tested until now. We just worked with her abilities and matched her schoolwork to her level.

 

Quite honestly, her results floored me: she tested in the 99.5th percentile for IQ. 

 

I know this opens some doors for her, but I am not sure where to begin. For example, my husband wants her to become a Mensa member. Does this actually DO anything for you besides being a resume builder? What other opportunities are there for her?

 

She will be going into 9th grade. Even though she is ahead academically, I do not want her to graduate early. I just want her to enjoy being a kid and create wonderful teen-ager experiences. But, I also want her to take this gift that she has been given seriously and use it. Her career goals right now are to be the first person on Mars or work for the CIA/FBI.   :001_smile:

 

Thoughts?

[Laura Corin]

You might want to look into the Davidson organisation.  They offer a lot of advice to qualifying children.  I don't think that Mensa has any particular benefit, and some people might find it off-putting on a resume.

 

A high IQ does not, in itself, open any doors.  If you child uses that intelligence to pursue a passion to an unusual degree, that's what will matter for university entrance, for example: not the number, but how it is used.

 

For comparison: Calvin's university applications nowhere said what his IQ was.  However, his runner-up position in a national poetry competition and his academic accomplishments got him into a good university.

[Hunter]

High IQs are common in my birth family and in my exDH's family.

 

Have you seen "Good Will Hunting"? In my family, that is more common that those that took their " gift" "seriously".

 

People with high IQs are not " better" versions of "normal". For me raising a very high IQ child was like a mom with Downs Syndrome raising a moderately gifted child. He didn't do what I did better, but instead did something else entirely different.

 

I did the best I could. I refuse to be ashamed.

 

When you are dealing with really high IQs, sometimes the best you can accomplish is to keep them out of jail and otherwise just get out of their way.

 

No one in my family calls it a "gift". My "normal" kid considers it a gift to have been spared.

[wapiti]

My two cents:  I would suggest that she pursue whatever interests her and in deep ways.  I really appreciate the way this is summed up in the MIT admissions blog entry Applying Sideways below.  I mention it here because I do think this advice is applicable outside the world of college admissions, a sort of be-all-you-can-be.

 

Now that you are Zen calm, liberated from the pressures of not having cured cancer by your 18th birthday, what should you do if you still want to come to MIT?

 

Do well in school. Take tough classes. Interrogate your beliefs and presumptions. Pursue knowledge with dogged precision. Because it is better to be educated and intelligent than not.

 

Be nice. This cannot be overstated. Don't be wanton or careless or cruel. Treat those around you with kindness. Help people. Contribute to your community.

 

Pursue your passion. Find what you love, and do it. Maybe it's a sport. Maybe it's an instrument. Maybe it's research. Maybe it's being a leader in your community. Math. Baking. Napping. Hopscotch. Whatever it is, spend time on it. Immerse yourself in it. Enjoy it.

 

If you do these three things, you will be applying sideways to MIT.

 

See:

 

If you get into MIT, it will be because you followed these steps. If you do well in school, you will be smart and prepared for an MIT education. If you are nice, then your letters of recommendation will convince us that MIT would be a wildly better place with you on campus. And if you pursue your passion, you will have developed a love for and skill at something that helps distinguish you from other applications - something that is your "hook."

 

But what if you don't get into MIT?

 

Well, you may be disappointed. But you learned everything you could, so now you're smarter; you were a positive member of your community, and you made people happy; and you spent high school doing not what you thought you had to do to get into a selective college, but what you wanted to do more than anything else in the world. In other words, you didn't waste a single solitary second of your time.

 

If she might want to apply to highly selective colleges, it would be helpful to have challenging high school courses with high grades (obviously) and great SAT or ACT scores along with SAT2s, APs, etc.  The high IQ will be useful for achieving a high standardized test score but is not the only ingredient.  Be aware that a great number of high IQ students apply to these schools; Harvard (or whatever top school) could fill its class more than once with students in the top percentile for IQ.  Grades and scores offer a minimum bar but are not enough for acceptance.  From there, highly selective schools are looking for interesting people, as discussed in the above quote.  (ETA, I agree with graduating high school at or around the usual time for these purposes.)

 

As you come up with more detailed questions, I suggest posting on the high school and/or accelerated learning boards.

 

On another note, I would be shocked if a school district were to pay tuition for a gifted student to attend a better high school out of district.  Most administrators would simply laugh.  If the local PS is your only option, my advice would be to first take advantage of everything it has to offer for courses.  Then, consider outside courses (or activities, internships, etc.) in her areas of interest, to the extent that her needs are not met at the school.  If homeschooling is an option, naturally the folks on the high school board have plenty of advice for extraordinary things that a bright student can do with the flexibility inherent in homeschooling.

 

All this aside, you might find it helpful to spend time reading the high school board regularly.  I find it very helpful and I'm not homeschooling high school (or any grade at all at the moment).  ETA, Mensa, no one cares.  If she's not getting what she needs, look to see what Davidson offers and what their requirements are.

[Guest]

In the hopes that our town would financially contribute to sending DD14 to an academically-superior high school, rather than our local PS (we tuition each child to the schools in the next town over), we had her tested by an educational psychologist where she completed the WISC. I always knew that things came easily to her and that she was academically ahead of her peers, but I never felt the need to have her officially tested until now. We just worked with her abilities and matched her schoolwork to her level.

 

Quite honestly, her results floored me: she tested in the 99.5th percentile for IQ. 

 

I know this opens some doors for her, but I am not sure where to begin. For example, my husband wants her to become a Mensa member. Does this actually DO anything for you besides being a resume builder? What other opportunities are there for her?

 

She will be going into 9th grade. Even though she is ahead academically, I do not want her to graduate early. I just want her to enjoy being a kid and create wonderful teen-ager experiences. But, I also want her to take this gift that she has been given seriously and use it. Her career goals right now are to be the first person on Mars or work for the CIA/FBI.   :001_smile:

 

Thoughts?

 

 

 

Nothing about your daughter has actually changed. Continue to give her the things she needs to live up to her full potential as a human person.  Continue to have the same (high and well-balanced) expectations of her that you otherwise would.

 

Ply the high-IQ card if it actually gets her something she wants or needs (like the better school), but for things like Mensa....she can do that on her own accord down the road if she chooses.

 

I'm sure other people will have ideas about what actually "playing the card to get what you want" looks like in practice. I just wanted to offer a view of...proceeding calmly carefully, I suppose. Not because you've indicated you're not doing that! but because I know how easy it is to proceed giddily instead of calmly...

 

[Guest]

I had a friend who was a Mensa member. The group was very helpful for her as a social support system, for much the same reasons the TWTM is helpful for us as homeschoolers.

 

Your daughter might feel the same sense of relief as some of us felt when we found this place and we realized that we were not the only people in the world who felt the way we did about putting our 5 year olds on the yellow bus or waiting until our 12 year olds asked us to teach them how to read or whatever our cultural norm happened to be.

 

The Mensans I knew were not better or happier or more successful than the rest of us, nor were their lives easier. They were more likely to be reference librarians than successful entrepreneurs.

 

My friend benefited greatly from her support group for her condition in the same way that a person would benefit from a support group for Downs or Autism. I would suggest that you offer it to your daughter, but do not present it as having won a prize, please. That is not how the Mensans in my life felt at all.

[Lawyer&Mom]

People with high IQ aren't better, but they are different. Finding opportunities for her to associate with other high IQ peers should be a priority. Camps, courses, conferences, whatever. Doesn't have to be full time, but it's an amazing feeling to be immersed with your peers at least some of the time.

[Hunter]

Not all high IQ people see other high IQ people as their peers. I just assumed that my DS would want certain opportunities and set up things like the John Hopkins test. He passive aggressively showed me that he didn't. I asked him why he didn't just tell me, instead of resorting to passive aggressiveness, and he just shrugged. I had to examine myself and what others were telling me he would want more carefully.

 

At that time my father-in-law opened up to me a bit and gave me a few bits of advice. Mostly the men in my exDH's family prefer to hide, and only use their intelligence as a weapon. I backed off with some things; I pushed ahead with others. I clung to the crumbs of information FIL shared. I winged it the best I could.

 

The IQ tests are written by mostly "normal" people who think they know what higher intelligence is. I'm not so sure they do. You have to know what something is before you can measure it. It is all very flawed.

 

I have lived among it, but don't claim to know what it is. It became obvious I didn't have the ability to comprehend, and they were not even trying to bring me up to speed. FIL would just step in when things reached crisis stage and get us out of crisis.

[Dmmetler]

The Accelerated Learners board here has a large number of parents with High IQ identified kids, and would be a good place to ask. My DD isn't high school yet, but we've found the BESTS program at University of Iowa, Johns Hopkins CTY, and the Davidson Young Scholars program to be quite beneficial. She also started auditing college classes at age 8, and attending professional conferences in her area of interest at age 9.

[lamppost]

A few mentioned Davidson but they accept 99.9 and above. Not in Mensa so not familiar with any benefits there.

 

Does your town actually have a program where they pay tuition for kids who score high enough on the WISC? I've never heard of that.

[HS Mom in NC]

My husband is a Mensa member.  There’s no benefit to it.  He qualified with his SAT scores as a teen but never got around to joining.  His college lost the SAT scores and at 46 he went and took the Mesa tests in person. He scored in the 99.6 percentile. It’s just a social club around here and he doesn’t particularly enjoy being around them, the publication isn’t of interest to him and it hasn’t resulted in any business networking.  When I asked him what benefit was of joining he just shrugged his shoulders. 

[WinsomeCreek]

A high IQ does not, in itself, open any doors. If you child uses that intelligence to pursue a passion to an unusual degree, that's what will matter for university entrance, for example: not the number, but how it is used.

This. Completely. We had doors open long before testing. Then we tested to gain access to a program. By the time the tested kid became a DYS it turned out we knew quite a few people in DITD just from the kid pursuing interests. My older kid is more philosophical and probably also DYS material, but would not benefit from testing or the program. My younger kid we thought to be more on the bright end with LDs and it is looking like he too is quite gifted, but struggles (possibly in part due to his giftedness) with psychiatric issues. The baby is the happiest, mellowest, most normal seeming thing on the planet. I've learned not to make any assumptions.

 

I guess I'm saying that I've learned from having different kids, all gifted, with different needs, that those scores rarely help the way a kid's own passion and personality help when it comes to education access and meeting needs.

[ExcitedMama]

You mentioned that you don't want her to graduate early so I just wanted to caution you against limiting her. I was bored out of my mind in my high achieving high school so I started taking community college classes and was surprised that they weren't very interesting and certainly not challenging. That is why I chose to graduate early, I needed more. Unfortunately I didn't find the challenge I wanted in my university so I took more classes and graduated early and went on to the next level and earned my professional degree. For me shaving off two years of my schooling and getting onto the next step in my life is what I needed. Those were all my independent choices but my parents were very much against them which was stressful. If her career choices continue to be what they are she may want to get a jump start on her years of higher education.

 

If things come so easily for her at some point it might be harder to keep her engaged in her studies if they are not enough of a challenge for her.

[Haiku]

I am in the > 99th percentile for IQ. My dad therefore expected Great Things from me. It took him years and years to realize that his idea of Great Things and mine were vastly different.

 

Nothing about your daughter has changed. She is exactly as she was before. If she is happy with her life, don't feel that you have to change things because you suddenly know she is Very Smart. I wish my parents hadn't known. Actually, my mom was fine. It was more my dad.

 

I say this respectfully, but I wouldn't put much thought or effort into your daughter "taking this gift and using it." Just let her be who she is and pursue her own life. It's no fun to feel like you have this burden of satisfying the expectations of others by doing Something Great.

[8filltheheart]

Are you homeschooling?  Homeschooling is a great way for meeting the needs of kids who don't fit the general mold.  Based on her interests, I would recommend foreign language study, especially critical languages.  Apply to NSLI-Y in a couple of yrs for a yr abroad?? (or summer abroad) Dig deep into philosophy, literature, and foreign affairs (all easy to do at home).  Invest in TC lectures.  Study poetry, computer science, linguistics.

 

FWIW, IQ is just a small slice of a person's life.  I would make sure that she has a strong work ethic, the ability to face challenges and persevere.  She needs to be in top physical condition for FBI/CIA, so kick boxing or some other personal training might be a good choice.  (One of my kids has a high IQ and cannot function as an adult.  Like I said, high IQ by itself isn't really meaningful.  It is the entire person you need to focus on.)

 

[quark]

nm

[Scarlett]

High IQs are common in my birth family and in my exDH's family.

 

Have you seen "Good Will Hunting"? In my family, that is more common that those that took their " gift" "seriously".

 

People with high IQs are not " better" versions of "normal". For me raising a very high IQ child was like a mom with Downs Syndrome raising a moderately gifted child. He didn't do what I did better, but instead did something else entirely different.

 

I did the best I could. I refuse to be ashamed.

 

When you are dealing with really high IQs, sometimes the best you can accomplish is to keep them out of jail and otherwise just get out of their way.

 

No one in my family calls it a "gift". My "normal" kid considers it a gift to have been spared.

 

 

So well said. There is a country song with the line that says, 'happiness on earth isn't just for high achievers.'  

[...................]

hard work

Perseverance

Hard wor

Steadiness

Hard work

Patience

Hard work

Steadfastness

Hard work

Having a long term vision

Choosing friends wisely

 

Also, knowing how to entertain oneself I expensively and joyfully is a very important asset. This will ensure that when most of the other kids go out drinking she can be happy reading, drawing, doing puzzles, watching documentaries, and other such things when she's tired of studying

 

IQ makes they **ceiling** of what she can accomplish higher. (Aka your dd could actually have the brains to be an astronaut while others may not) But it does very little in any other way.

[Arcadia]

nm

 

:grouphug:

Read what you wrote while I was at whole foods and I agree with it.  Life is a puzzle.  It is hard enough solving my own without being responsible for solving my kids.

 

OT: my wiggle butt is a lot more fit than my bookworm.  Have to reinforce PE again, been slacking during summer because of the heat. Need to hunt for an affordable pair of running shoes for bookworm. He has been running in his loafers :lol:

[Tiramisu]

Emotional health and balance are so important. IQ by itself really means nothing. Most people I know with high IQ's live very normal lives but are probably more prone to emotional problems like depression. I was considered gifted and I have a couple of graduate degrees, but I'm just a sorta normal hs mom. My brother had the highest IQ ever tested in the town we lived in. He's a bit quirky but is basically an average working guy; he did get into some trouble when he was growing up. Things may have been different if we had better opportunities growing up and got more encouragement, but a messed up family life didn't help. None of my children seem more than mildly gifted and all have issues that affect learning. I believe in providing opportunities to help kids find their passion and not pushing academics at the expense of other things. There are very bright people on both sides of my family, but alcoholics and drug users, too. Most of all, I just want my kids to be happy and healthy.

[ondreeuh]

Yep, I was tested at 6 and my mom was so darn excited at my high score. She really wanted me to join Mensa. I'm not sure if it was because she was proud or whether she thought it would be good for me. I would have benefited from more enrichment opportunities (instruments, languages, etc.) I always dreamed of getting to go to Saturday School When I finally started music camps in middle school, everything got so much better. My school did not differentiate much, though I did get to accelerate some subjects occasionally and work with older classes. My parents expected Great Things as well, and I kinda felt like a disappointment. Thankfully my husband is not only very gifted but has a mother who was a G&T teacher for decades. She completely understands me.

 

Giftedness can make life harder in many ways. Teachers, coaches, and bosses may feel threatened by having a subordinate who is smarter than they are. It can be difficult to find peers who don't think you are showing off when you use big words or make big connections. Getting through entry level jobs can be torture with their repetitive tasks and lack of flexibility in how things are done.

 

I have two kids who are bright and moderately gifted, and one who stands out. He is the one with the most intensity and difficulty getting along in life.

[Sahamamama]

A few mentioned Davidson but they accept 99.9 and above.

 

Sort of accurate, but not quite. It's a bit more complex than that.

 

"The criteria for individually administered tests typically represent scores in the 99.9th percentile."

 

But you need to check the child's score on the actual test, as well as the sections of the test. Here's a chart:

 

http://www.davidsongifted.org/youngscholars/Article/Davidson_Young_Scholars___Qualification_Criteria_384.aspx

 

[kiwik]

Speaking as the mother of two kids in that sort of percentile range, if you have got her to fourteen undamaged you have done well. If you think she is underachieving help her explore challenge but otherwise choose the benst high school option you have and keep going.

[Runningmom80]

Check out the Davidson forums and the accelerated learners board here. Also, hoagiesgifted.com.

[kbutton]

I'm a moderately gifted underachiever. I think you do need to take your cue from your daughter but give her some gentle cues about "where" she stands in the pack. There is a huge difference from the bottom to the top of the gifted spectrum, and I think it's helpful to know that. Each level has its own challenges. My parents were very laid back about these things, but I do wish I had learned to face challenges better. Since everything started easy, I concluded that any failure to do really well on my part meant that I was not good at that particular thing. I could have been a better learner if I had some perspective on how to tackle things that offered a challenge. I am not the type to push myself in every area to prove a point, but I would've liked to learn how to face a challenge earlier on. It would have left more doors open to me; whether I would've walked through them is another story.

 

I saw and infographic recently about passion/mission/vocation/profession that I think is especially relevant to people who really could do "anything" they want to do...

https://www.facebook.com/interestingengineering/photos/a.451130811623295.1073741826.139188202817559/863703063699399/?type=1

 

Most of us use our gifts differently depending on which areas are a passion, mission, vocation, or a profession, and I think that's okay. 

[Corraleno]

I say this respectfully, but I wouldn't put much thought or effort into your daughter "taking this gift and using it." Just let her be who she is and pursue her own life. It's no fun to feel like you have this burden of satisfying the expectations of others by doing Something Great.

 

THIS.  I can tell you that being pushed to "live up to my potential" just made me push back even harder. I felt like... this is my brain, and my life, to do with as I choose — I won't give up my right to determine my own future just because of some arbitrary number on a test.

 

I have a relative whose two older kids tested in the same range. Someone told them that >140 = "genius" and they made a huge deal about how they expected Great Things from those kids. The eldest totally crashed and burned, the second didn't even try, and the only kid with a college degree and a good job is the "ungifted" one that no one paid any attention to.

 

Sadly, I know a lot of people with very high IQs whose lives are a total mess. It can make some aspects of life easier, and others much harder. The number matters much less than what you do with it.

 

 

You mentioned that you don't want her to graduate early so I just wanted to caution you against limiting her. I was bored out of my mind in my high achieving high school so I started taking community college classes and was surprised that they weren't very interesting and certainly not challenging. That is why I chose to graduate early, I needed more. Unfortunately I didn't find the challenge I wanted in my university so I took more classes and graduated early and went on to the next level and earned my professional degree. For me shaving off two years of my schooling and getting onto the next step in my life is what I needed. Those were all my independent choices but my parents were very much against them which was stressful. If her career choices continue to be what they are she may want to get a jump start on her years of higher education.

 

If things come so easily for her at some point it might be harder to keep her engaged in her studies if they are not enough of a challenge for her.

 

:iagree:

 

I would keep an open mind about early graduation. I graduated HS at 16 and honestly would have preferred to skip HS altogether.  I went to a small LAC where I found peers and a mentor and that was the first time in my life I felt like I was "home." Trying to hold me back until I was 18 would have been a disaster (I would have run away — or worse).

 

[SparrowsNest]

I am gifted, as are a handful of my kiddos, though not all.

Please, please don't change the way you look at your daughter because of this test.  It's just a number.  145 or 85, she's your child, and she needs your love and unconditional acceptance.  The sense that I *should* be doing amazing things has always been there, particularly from my mother.  My intelligence itself was a source of pride, but even moreso was this sense that I would do something really impressive.  With those kinds of expectations comes disappointment now that I am 'just' a Mom and 'just' a homeschooler.  My father is probably smarter than I am (though it pains me to say that!) and he was never impressed with my intelligence per se.  He was always far more interested in whether I was growing into a decent person.  And really, that is the first priority, regardless of intelligence!

 

With all my kids, I make a concerted effort to praise hard work, kindness, and perseverance rather than innate abilities (you're a fast runner, you're so smart, etc.)  I don't care how smart you are -- if you don't use it, with love for others, and in the face of difficulty, it will make absolutely no difference.  

 

If your daughter is happy and thriving where she is, I'd more or less let things be. Perhaps knowing what you do now you could simply ask if she is interested in pursuing certain subjects, or you might offer some opportunities in areas she isn't exploring now.  I've generally found it's impossible to hold my gifted kids back from learning things that interest them.  If she's exhausted what you have at home, simply providing new books, videos, and opportunities keyed into her areas of interest will feed the fire.  

 

Most of all, enjoy her as a person, not as a "gifted" person.  Good luck!

 

[Syllieann]

DH and I were both Mensa members, but we have let our memberships lapse long ago. We both found it pointless. Most of the stuff that I would have liked was too far away, too expensive, and too time consuming to participate in. I have found better relationships the old fashioned way: shared interests. I will echo what pp said about mental health. There is a link between high iq and psychological problems. My highly gifted father (now deceased) had a doctorate in biomedical engineering, but he spent much of his adult life living with his mother and working at Burger King because he couldn't cope with the pressure. DH's highly gifted father lives off-grid and is unable to participate in society because his preoccupation with conspiracy theories occupies all his time. Make sure you are teaching the whole child, not just the academic part, and pay special attention to issues of perfectionism, anxiety, and stress.

[krsmom]

Not the op, but I am so grateful for this thread. Thanks to everyone that has contributed to it!

[Hunter]

Not the op, but I am so grateful for this thread. Thanks to everyone that has contributed to it!

In threads like this, I always post to more than the OP.

 

Good luck!

[HSinNH]

Thank you everyone! Lots to think about.

[AimeeM]

nm

High IQs are common in my birth family and in my exDH's family.

Have you seen "Good Will Hunting"? In my family, that is more common that those that took their " gift" "seriously".

People with high IQs are not " better" versions of "normal". For me raising a very high IQ child was like a mom with Downs Syndrome raising a moderately gifted child. He didn't do what I did better, but instead did something else entirely different.

I did the best I could. I refuse to be ashamed.

When you are dealing with really high IQs, sometimes the best you can accomplish is to keep them out of jail and otherwise just get out of their way.

No one in my family calls it a "gift". My "normal" kid considers it a gift to have been spared.

 

[sportsmom]

My $0.02....

 

What a lot of what people have posted seems to boil down to the whole reason that my mother was so strongly opposed to my looking into DS's IQ score or pursuing any "gifted" label for him.  She said he would be defined as a number, where I always looked at it as a tool to gauge and help us assess what avenues we should take.  Not as our primary reason, but adding another layer to help us guide him into the best, most well-rounded, content person he can be.

 

I use the information to get a clearer picture of who he is, what he is capable of, and how to help him with his struggles.  Knowing he's around the line between HG and PG and looking into the different ways that those kids perceive the world has been immensely helpful not only in school, but as his mother.  It made me a better advocate for what he needs, and gave me the confidence to proceed forward with what my gut instinct was telling me, where before I would have second guessed myself.

 

Who he becomes, what he decides to do with his life, will be based on his own choices in life.  He has the ability to do ANYTHING that he WANTS, which is not the case for most people.  He could be a rocket scientist or a plumber - the choice is up to him.  My job, as his teacher, and as his mother is to help him learn how to both succeed and fail, and knowing his natural abilities helps me do that.  He is not defined by a number, just as he is not solely defined because he is a white male, but both are part of who he is. 

 

I don't think that IQ is the end all, be all of abilities, intelligence, relationships, or what a person ends up becoming in life, but it is foolish to disregard it entirely.  People with higher IQs do in fact process the world differently - not better, not worse, just differently.  In my case, I'm nowhere near DS's IQ, so the more I understand about the way he learns, the happier we both are.  My husband on the other hand is on level with DS, and they learn the same way, and DH doesn't understand why sometimes I struggle to get points across to DS.  I remember reeling after getting DS's score, it didn't change who he was, and ultimately, it didn't change anything about what I had been advocating for him, but it did confirm to me that I wasn't crazy and he was capable of what I thought.  It has always been an odd balancing act, where if people don't know better, they think that you are the driving force, when really having an unchallenged kid is a nightmare for 100 different reasons.  All I have ever done is sought to make sure he is ENGAGED, in whatever he is doing.

[Jenn in CA]

I have a really high IQ. I took the test when I was 5. My parents never told me my score, until they gave me the test results when I was in my 30s! I'm really glad they did that and I never gave a thought to my iq.

 

My parents often quoted that verse in Romans about those who are strong should help those without strength and not just please themselves. My gift was never treated as something I should do something with other than serving others which was why God gave it to me.

[kiwik]

I have a really high IQ. I took the test when I was 5. My parents never told me my score, until they gave me the test results when I was in my 30s! I'm really glad they did that and I never gave a thought to my iq.

 

My parents often quoted that verse in Romans about those who are strong should help those without strength and not just please themselves. My gift was never treated as something I should do something with other than serving others which was why God gave it to me.

The problem with this approach is high IQ kids spend their whole school careers putting other student's meeds before theirs. Their right to learn is sacrificed to ensure others get to learn. The strong should help the weak but they also have a right to get their needs met and meet their potential. A lot of us who go the message 'your needs aren't important' as children ended up feeling worthless.

 

Obviously not everybody but girls are particularly prone to underachievement which is why i suggested the OP look at that.

 

It is also comon to not find out a child his gifted until they develop behavoiral issues.

 

My advice to the OP still stands though. If your child is happy and achieving then the IQ makes little difference. Just keep up the good work.

[klmama]

OP, if your dd's career goals are FBI/CIA or aerospace, start looking at the education requirements for both of those fields.  Work backward from there to particular colleges that sound interesting, and then gear her high school studies toward meeting their entrance requirements while also exploring any areas of deep interest.  If considering the FBI/CIA, she might want to learn Spanish plus another language significant to national security like Arabic, Korean, Mandarin, or Russian.  Maybe she would be interested in this language immersion program that's sponsored by the State Department: http://www.nsliforyouth.org/  

[Tsuga]

99.5th percentile is an IQ of around 138-139. If you consider margin of error, you're looking at 135-140. That's very smart, technically a genius, but it isn't that unusual.

 

Doing the math, you will find 5 such people in a group of about 1,000. So in a standard high school of about 1,000 kids in four classes, you'd expect to find a kid like your daughter in each class much of the time. One in 215. While that seems very rare, keep in mind that many high school teachers see 215 children every year (30*6 periods = 180, plus extra curricular and changes). In fact, knowing my own IQ and my high school cohort... there were about 200 kids in each class and on average you'd find a kid like me in every class. This was in a small school in a rural area.

 

That is just to give you some perspective.

 

As for Mensa... sure, why not?

 

IQ is just one measure of one type of ability. Human performance is far, far more complex. Character, hard work, and motivation matter so much more than high IQ, and not because society hates geniuses, but because evolution does not work on an individual level. We do not stand on the shoulders of giants but on the shoulders of many, many people who were hard-working enough, cooperative enough, and passionate enough, and intelligent enough, to produce something that could be of value, and usually they took much of their knowledge from those who went before them.

 

"The problem with this approach is high IQ kids spend their whole school careers putting other student's meeds before theirs"

 

Actually, it's about 35-40% of the population waiting for the bottom 60%. The question is not whether you have to put up with others. You're going to have to put up with people smarter and stupider than you. Period. I don't care if you're in the top .0001% or top 20%. That's life. And life is what you make of it.

[Orthodox6]

If the testers of long, long ago were correct, I have a high IQ. It did land me in the best classes throughout my K-12 years, and probably assisted my college acceptances. Being honest, it does not matter to me. I would rather hope that I live long enough to develop good character. Life has bestowed many painful trials, and my IQ has been irrelevant.

 

P.S. There also is the possibility that mine is linked to the Asperger's. I would, by far, prefer to have been born without the Asperger's.

 

OP asked for "thoughts". Mine may not be what she expected, or wanted. IQ is just another "label".

[Jean in Newcastle]

In the hopes that our town would financially contribute to sending DD14 to an academically-superior high school, rather than our local PS (we tuition each child to the schools in the next town over), we had her tested by an educational psychologist where she completed the WISC. I always knew that things came easily to her and that she was academically ahead of her peers, but I never felt the need to have her officially tested until now. We just worked with her abilities and matched her schoolwork to her level.

 

Quite honestly, her results floored me: she tested in the 99.5th percentile for IQ. 

 

I know this opens some doors for her, but I am not sure where to begin. For example, my husband wants her to become a Mensa member. Does this actually DO anything for you besides being a resume builder? What other opportunities are there for her?

 

She will be going into 9th grade. Even though she is ahead academically, I do not want her to graduate early. I just want her to enjoy being a kid and create wonderful teen-ager experiences. But, I also want her to take this gift that she has been given seriously and use it. Her career goals right now are to be the first person on Mars or work for the CIA/FBI.   :001_smile:

 

Thoughts?

Are you sure it is going to open doors for her?  The private school for gifted that I taught at does look at IQ as one criteria but they also look at a lot of other things like how someone approaches learning.  Other than a school like that, I haven't personally heard of IQ being used as a criteria for anything.  (Well, Mensa but others have discussed it's significance.)  

 

There is more to learning than the linear grade advancement in our typical schools.  Many gifted kids have asynchronous development in their learning.  They can learn to go deep and broad in their chosen interests while still needing to shore up any areas of weakness.  Sometimes the old stereotype of the brainy nerd comes true and they need to shore of weaknesses in social skills.  (My son is in that category.)  Back to the private school for gifted - they look at the ability to develop and expand on ideas.  They encourage group work but also independent study and being able to think outside the box.   

[mom2scouts]

I have a high IQ child in the 99.9%.  He was able to skip several grades and graduate at 16, but I wish I had homeschooled him. School was a waste of time and terribly frustrating. He was very unhappy and depressed when he was in school.  

 

Look for opportunities outside the school because it's unlikely the school will meet her needs or pay for another school. Getting involved with the Summer Institute for the Gifted was life changing for our child.

 

ETA: After years of underachievement, my son found something he loved to do and an amazing mentor and he is now doing amazing things.  He has also matured and become a friendly, funny, and caring adult.

[kiwik]

99.5th percentile is an IQ of around 138-139. If you consider margin of error, you're looking at 135-140. That's very smart, technically a genius, but it isn't that unusual.

 

Doing the math, you will find 5 such people in a group of about 1,000. So in a standard high school of about 1,000 kids in four classes, you'd expect to find a kid like your daughter in each class much of the time. One in 215. While that seems very rare, keep in mind that many high school teachers see 215 children every year (30*6 periods = 180, plus extra curricular and changes). In fact, knowing my own IQ and my high school cohort... there were about 200 kids in each class and on average you'd find a kid like me in every class. This was in a small school in a rural area.

 

That is just to give you some perspective.

 

As for Mensa... sure, why not?

 

IQ is just one measure of one type of ability. Human performance is far, far more complex. Character, hard work, and motivation matter so much more than high IQ, and not because society hates geniuses, but because evolution does not work on an individual level. We do not stand on the shoulders of giants but on the shoulders of many, many people who were hard-working enough, cooperative enough, and passionate enough, and intelligent enough, to produce something that could be of value, and usually they took much of their knowledge from those who went before them.

 

"The problem with this approach is high IQ kids spend their whole school careers putting other student's meeds before theirs"[/size]

 

Actually, it's about 35-40% of the population waiting for the bottom 60%. The question is not whether you have to put up with others. You're going to have to put up with people smarter and stupider than you. Period. I don't care if you're in the top .0001% or top 20%. That's life. And life is what you make of it.

I was referring only to the common practice of using the more able students as unpaid teaching aides which is unfair to all involved. Every student deserves to be taught and make a year's progress in a year if at all possible.

[Tsuga]

Ah, yes. I agree that it is bad practice (in so many ways) to use advanced students to teach weaker students. sorry for the misunderstanding.

[Alexigail]

Emotional health and balance are so important. IQ by itself really means nothing. Most people I know with high IQ's live very normal lives but are probably more prone to emotional problems like depression. I was considered gifted and I have a couple of graduate degrees, but I'm just a sorta normal hs mom. My brother had the highest IQ ever tested in the town we lived in. He's a bit quirky but is basically an average working guy; he did get into some trouble when he was growing up. Things may have been different if we had better opportunities growing up and got more encouragement, but a messed up family life didn't help. None of my children seem more than mildly gifted and all have issues that affect learning. I believe in providing opportunities to help kids find their passion and not pushing academics at the expense of other things. There are very bright people on both sides of my family, but alcoholics and drug users, too. Most of all, I just want my kids to be happy and healthy

 

 

This is exactly my experience, right down to the genius brother.  My husband is also at a "genius" level, but he doesn't want to know his IQ for fear it would make him arrogant.  Both he and I came from families that valued achievement and we were often told how smart we are.  I've personally felt confused by this my whole life, because I truly feel best being "just a mom" while those in my "gifted" group from school are very successful scientists, physicists, and doctors.  

 

I think it's important to have opportunities, but some of the smartest people I know are happiest as carpenters, IT consultants, midwives, or homeschool moms like me.  Emotional IQ is crucial, as is learning how to deal with people who want to use others' intelligence to get ahead.  Finding people to love and accept you for who you are rather than what you can do is so important to happiness.

 

This is just anecdotal, but I do agree that in my experience people with high IQs are at an increased risk for depression or addiction.  I think that this was especially true in my family and in my town because there was so much pressure on the "tag" kids to achieve something.  You wouldn't believe the stuff my husband, siblings and I got away with growing up in our state.  We all got into some kind of trouble because we believed we were above the system.  When my husband I I got together, one of our earliest discussions was about how we would handle it if our kids were gifted.  

 

There's nothing wrong with finding opportunities for gifted kids, but I would just be sure that it is what they want.  I have lots of conversations with my 3rd grader about how kindness and hard work are much better indicators of success than a brilliant mind.  

[Orthodox6]

This is exactly my experience, right down to the genius brother. My husband is also at a "genius" level, but he doesn't want to know his IQ for fear it would make him arrogant. Both he and I came from families that valued achievement and we were often told how smart we are. I've personally felt confused by this my whole life, because I truly feel best being "just a mom" while those in my "gifted" group from school are very successful scientists, physicists, and doctors.

 

I think it's important to have opportunities, but some of the smartest people I know are happiest as carpenters, IT consultants, midwives, or homeschool moms like me. Emotional IQ is crucial, as is learning how to deal with people who want to use others' intelligence to get ahead. Finding people to love and accept you for who you are rather than what you can do is so important to happiness.

 

This is just anecdotal, but I do agree that in my experience people with high IQs are at an increased risk for depression or addiction. I think that this was especially true in my family and in my town because there was so much pressure on the "tag" kids to achieve something. You wouldn't believe the stuff my husband, siblings and I got away with growing up in our stante. We all got into some kind of trouble because we believed we were above the system. When my husband I I got together, one of our earliest discussions was about how we would handle it if our kids were gifted.

 

There's nothing wrong with finding opportunities for gifted kids, but I would just be sure that it is what they want. I have lots of conversations with my 3rd grader about how kindness and hard work are much better indicators of success than a brilliant mind.

What she said. Completely.