Gentlemommy Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 My 7.5 year old asked today. I told her, very clinically what happens and then quickly moved on. She's asked several times and I had told her she was too young, but I figured it was better coming from me than her getting mixed info from a friend or some crazy notion she thought up...did I just scar her??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 No, of course not. I told the older kiddo when she was three. But we didn't have "a talk", we've had a long and continuing conversation, with the understanding that if she's old enough to ask, she's old enough for an answer. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gil Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 There is no "too young". When they are old enough to ask a question, they are old enough for the on-going conversation to begin. 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendyroo Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 My 4 and 6 year olds know the basics of sex. I try to discuss sex, anatomy, puberty, fetal development, etc matter of factly as normal parts of life. I make a point not to "quickly move on", but rather to answer all questions, even those that spring up unexpectedly, with straight forward, age-appropriate explanations. Wendy 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ipsey Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 You may wish to go back to your daughter and say that you're glad she came to you with that question and ask her if there's anything else she wants to know. Tell her you'll answer any question she has and tell her you'll do your best to answer. Be grateful your daughter is coming to you . If she's not getting answers from you she WILL get them somewhere else, particularly sonce she's asking questions. If you won't provide them, others will. And hiding this information makes it frightening and dirty and she will learn its not something you'll talk about with her. It's not too late to do a good job with this. Be a brave, honest, gentle mommy🌷 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I just answer. Be aware though that other people don't. Ds8 telling his seven year old girl cousin that getting pregnant involves a man putting hia penis in the womans vagina wasn't that well recieved. I told him it went on the same list as Santa and the tooth fairy - other kids parents needed to tell them when they were ready. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Yeah, we are pretty open too, but we do make sure to mention this isn't something to talk about in polite conversation. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I'm in the When They're Wondering camp as well. I don't see why it would be scarring to answer a basic science question when asked. DS asked at dinner when he was five. I read him excerpts of It's So Amazing after dinner, and now that book lives on the nonfiction shelf in his room. (We already had the book because he'd asked an anatomy question, loudly and in public, at three, and I could see more questions coming.) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gentlemommy Posted August 29, 2015 Author Share Posted August 29, 2015 Whew. I feel better. Dh thinks she is entirely too young, so I was second guessing myself. I have always told her that she is welcome to come to us and it's what I want her to do if she ever has any questions or wants to know something. That is why I told her tonight, she DID come to me, and I felt like I had to make good on my offer. I asked if she had anything else she wanted to know, and she asked a lot about whether it hurt, menstral cycles, and finally childbirth and that process. She wants to watch a childbirth video, which I'm fine with. I did tell her this is something kids talk to only their parents about, and not to discuss with friends, which she understood. We touched a little on this being an adult activity and that it isn't something that children do...we've had the good touch/bad touch talk before, but it was a good time for a refresher. She is my very mature, pensive kid and I think she handled it fine... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I always answer any question asked. You might like this book geared to 4-8 year olds: It's Not the Stork!: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends (The Family Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763633313/There's a series of them getting more in-depth as they get older. American Girl has an excellent two volume set called The Care and Keeping of You. They revamped it to be two separate books, one geared younger and one geared older. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I think below 3 years old may be too young, because understanding these explanations (without demonstrations!) requires some degree of abstract thinking. Other than that, I think 'the younger, the better' -- and I don't wait for self-motivated curiosity. I just explain interesting topics all the time, and human sex and reproduction is one of those topics. Easy-peasy. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 My 7.5 year old asked today. I told her, very clinically what happens and then quickly moved on. She's asked several times and I had told her she was too young, but I figured it was better coming from me than her getting mixed info from a friend or some crazy notion she thought up...did I just scar her??? No. My son and I had the talk at almost 8 years old (so he was 7 too). At least to the point of answering the questions he was asking. If a child is old enough to ask, they are old enough to have their questions answered. And like you said, I'd rather he hear from me than a classmate. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 My older son got the basics at age 5 when I was pregnant with his brother. He wasn't really interested in the sex part, more the how does this baby grow part. He was fascinated by the book A Child is Born. He is now 12 and unscarred, I promise. Well informed but not scarred. My niece and nephew were told very little and the misinformation that they believed was definitely worse than the truth. They are 9 and 13. My older son knows enough to know what is hogwash. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abba12 Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Definitely not too early. I remember I found out, at school from other kids, at right around the same age of 7.5. Wish mum had bothered to tell me when I asked over and over at age 6, would have been less scary than what the kids at school said! Around here it's an ongoing conversation, when they ask I answer. I'm fortunate, certain life experiences mean I have no hesitation or embarrassment talking about sex with my children as others I've met seem to. My kiddos know a fair bit about female puberty and pregnancy body changes at this point, but sex hasn't actually come up yet. I'm expecting my eldest to start asking questions when I get pregnant again though. I don't bring it up, but I answer their questions happily, and to them they see no difference between asking 'why do bees make honey' and 'why do you have boobies'. lol. I answer them with the same tone of voice and attitude so I am hoping I can continue this embarrassment-free dialogue. I desperately don't want to be like my mum was on this topic, certain things she said and did ended up being very harmful in my life for years later. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 If a child is old enough to ask, they are old enough to have their questions answered. . That's a good way to put it! My kids were around mating farm animals as toddlers. They've basically known all along, at an increasing level of understanding. Now that I am pregnant they know the whole entire deal, scientifically, with very little "sexual" added to it. For example, they still assume people only "mate" with their spouses or intended-spouses, and I've not disabused them of that. My 7 year old asked me just today if women stop producing an egg every month when they are 60. "How about 59 year olds?"... "How about 58 year olds?" ...57?... :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Prior to birth, there isn't really a benefit. After that, anytime is fine. There is never a "too young." 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 If I were you I would go back and answer the questions she asked. I remember vividly being told I was "too young" and it really shut down the conversation between my mother and I and made me feel like I couldn't really discuss it with her. I never felt comfortable talking to her about sex. (Not just because of that one incident, but it definitely was a factor.) It can be hard to know what to say in the moment. I'm not naturally comfortable talking to my kids about sex but as time goes on, it's gotten easier. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I think by the time kids ask questions, they have already been ignorant long enough to know they are ignorant, to have contemplated their ignorance, to have had their own ideas, to have formed a plan for getting information from me, and to have found an opportunity (and the gumption) to ask the questions. That's a stressful process. That's why I take the initiative. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 My kids were satisfied with the "God takes DNA from the mommy called the egg and DNA from the daddy called the sperm and makes a baby" answer for quite a while. It's correct from our worldview because we believe there can be no procreation without God's involvement ("co-creation"). I had a discussion about the mechanics of exactly how the sperm reaches the egg with my oldest when she turned 8 (did it the same time as the puberty talk). I'm thinking DH should have a similar talk with DS later on this fall when he turns 10. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 At four, my oldest asked how exactly the sperm got from the man's testicles to the egg in the woman's uterus. There would be no cutesy diversion of an answer for him. However, we did put him off a few more years because we were not sure of his ability to not tell other children. I think he was six when he got the full details. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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