Jenny in Florida Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 My son is taking a tap intensive this weekend. He's got classes Friday evening and all day Saturday (9:00 a.m. through about 5:00 p.m.). The venue is a two-and-a-half-hour drive from home. So, we will be staying over in the area Friday night. I have been assuming that I would take my dog along, and I've booked a pet-friendly hotel room. However, the more I think about this, the more ambivalent I become about taking her with me. Let me make clear up front that I adore my dog. She's my best friend. She's extremely attached to me, too. For the last year, since my daughter moved out and my son went to college, I've been gradually increasing the number of hours I work each week outside the house, and it's been tough on both the dog and me. I, therefore, make a conscious effort not to leaver her home without me more than necessary on non-work days. While she likes my husband, too, he has plans for Friday night, meaning she would be home by herself most of the morning while I'm at work, then all most of the afternoon and all evening on Friday. (I could be home with her for about an hour in between coming home from work and leaving to drive my son to his classes.) My husband could be here with her much of Saturday. Those would be the arguments for taking her with me: We would miss each other. She'd have a long stretch alone on Friday. My husband would not feel as free to go out and do something on Saturday because he'd be responsible for her while I'm gone. On the other hand, though, having her with me in an unfamiliar city severely limits my mobility. It makes it more challenging for me to do simple things like buy my son lunch and deliver it to him during his break on Saturday. (The weather here is still hot, meaning I really can't leave the dog in the car at all.) I would also not be free to spend any time at all in the dance school observing if/when parents are invited to do so or to take any photos of my son with the teachers or anything like that. More challenging is that I would need to check out of the hotel at 11:00 a.m. on Saturday and then find someplace for the dog and myself to hang out and pass the time until classes end at 5:00-ish. I've checked with the hotel, and they tell me they can't promise a late check-out will be available, and there is no way to book such a thing ahead of time. It would be at the discretion of the management if they don't need my room for an incoming guest. The air conditioning in my car doesn't work well unless the car is actually moving, meaning I can't even just plan on spending any time parked somewhere with the car running. I would need to keep driving in circles or find some indoor or relatively cool outdoor dog-friendly place for us to be. I've done some research, looking for farmer's markets and arts festivals or any similar community events in the area, with no luck. So, those are the arguments for leaving her home: I would have vastly increased flexibility and mobility and would be more effective "support staff" for my son during the event. I know the practical thing is to leave her home. I know it won't do her (or me) and permanent emotional damage to be separated for 36 hours. But every time I look into her eyes as I have to leave her to go to work or run an errand, I waffle. What would you all do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 I would leave her at home. I have been very attached to pets in the past - and limited myself due to that attachment - but you only live once and your dog will be fine without you. With you, the dog adds a significant measure of inconvenience. Let her have quality time with your DH. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 I would leave her home. If you knew the area you were going and had a better idea of how to navigate with your dog, then it would be easy to take her, but you don't. It will be frustrating to both you and your dog and probably your son. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink and Green Mom Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 I love my dog. He is a real "mama's dog" in that if I leave he pines away at the door that I left out of. But, he gets over it. I'm sure yours will be fine if she is left in her own home even if you are absent. Is there a neighborhood teen you could trust to come to your house and play with the dog or walk the dog or something while you and your husband are out? I think having to find something to do in the FL heat from 11-5 will be a real problem with a dog. My experience with hotels is that if they extend check out, it is usually only by an hour, never several. So even a late check out won't be much of a help. Most hotels that allow dogs say you aren't supposed to leave the dog unattended in the room either. Just an FYI. Completely aside: was your son able to resolve his college living situation? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 I would leave her at home. My dog is my shadow, I adore and spoil her, but needs of the son trump the dog, IMO. Plus you can spoil her a bit when you get home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Leave her. She won't hold a grudge. Your son might. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Leave her. She won't hold a grudge. Your son might. This. Hire a pet sitter for the afternoon if it will ease your mind. :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Leave the dog at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Leave the dog home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 I would leave her, as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 I'd leave her home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted August 21, 2015 Author Share Posted August 21, 2015 I love my dog. He is a real "mama's dog" in that if I leave he pines away at the door that I left out of. But, he gets over it. I'm sure yours will be fine if she is left in her own home even if you are absent. Is there a neighborhood teen you could trust to come to your house and play with the dog or walk the dog or something while you and your husband are out? I think having to find something to do in the FL heat from 11-5 will be a real problem with a dog. My experience with hotels is that if they extend check out, it is usually only by an hour, never several. So even a late check out won't be much of a help. Most hotels that allow dogs say you aren't supposed to leave the dog unattended in the room either. Just an FYI. Completely aside: was your son able to resolve his college living situation? Hiring a pet sitter or neighborhood teen won't work, because my dog is pretty much terrified of anyone except us. And, yes, I know I wouldn't be able to leave her in the hotel room, which is why taking her with me so severely limits my mobility. She has travelled with me a lot since she was a puppy. She was my primary travel buddy on most of the FL - VA and back road trips I did while my daughter was in college. I took her with me when I took my son to a different event a few weeks ago, and I didn't leave her in the room even long enough to check out the free breakfast. It's not a big deal, normally, because I appreciate enforced alone time to read, nap, study, etc. This time, though, I'm concerned that the combination of late-summer Florida heat and me not knowing how much involvement will be wanted/needed of me during this intensive makes having her along more of a challenge. And, yes, my son got an e-mail a few days ago tersely informing him that he's been assigned a place on campus. I was so relieved I pretty much melted into a puddle. Thanks for asking! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted August 21, 2015 Author Share Posted August 21, 2015 I would leave her at home. My dog is my shadow, I adore and spoil her, but needs of the son trump the dog, IMO. Plus you can spoil her a bit when you get home. Leave her. She won't hold a grudge. Your son might. My son swears up and down that he doesn't care one way or another. His position is that he will be busy dancing and schmoozing with other dancers and, as long as I can deliver food as close as the parking lot, he doesn't need me for anything else. However, I know from previous experience with these things that there's a decent chance he may end up wanting to go to dinner with other dancers/families at some point, that he may need me to run an errand (duct tape to fix a broken tap shoe, an extra shirt when he sweats through all of the ones he brought with him, more food, etc.), that there will be photo opportunities an a chance for parents/friends/families to come in an observe at the end. He always says he doesn't mind when I can't be around for that stuff, but I hate the idea that he's the only one who doesn't have his own cheering section. And I'm super aware that it's only a week from the end of this intensive until the day we move him back into the dorm. So, as little quality time as I'm likely to get with him in between and around classes, I'm feeling like I need to grab what I can. On the other hand, the week after he returns to school is when my new, expanded, nearly full-time work hours kick in, meaning I'll be away from the dog even more AND that she won't have my son for company during the days, either. So, I have guilt and stress there, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 It sounds like the dog, while unhappy at home without you, will potentially be even more unhappy on the trip with you. From the "what's good for the dog" perspective, I'd leave her home. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Your time for focusing intensely on your son is drawing to a close. Savor these moments. Leave the dog at home. (Said by a gal who takes her dog everywhere) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink and Green Mom Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Hiring a pet sitter or neighborhood teen won't work, because my dog is pretty much terrified of anyone except us. And, yes, I know I wouldn't be able to leave her in the hotel room, which is why taking her with me so severely limits my mobility. She has travelled with me a lot since she was a puppy. She was my primary travel buddy on most of the FL - VA and back road trips I did while my daughter was in college. I took her with me when I took my son to a different event a few weeks ago, and I didn't leave her in the room even long enough to check out the free breakfast. It's not a big deal, normally, because I appreciate enforced alone time to read, nap, study, etc. This time, though, I'm concerned that the combination of late-summer Florida heat and me not knowing how much involvement will be wanted/needed of me during this intensive makes having her along more of a challenge. And, yes, my son got an e-mail a few days ago tersely informing him that he's been assigned a place on campus. I was so relieved I pretty much melted into a puddle. Thanks for asking! I am so glad your son received housing. It had been on my mind a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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