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Help!  We're turning into those weird unsocialized homeschoolers.  

 

I assumed my kids would learn how to interact with others just by being a part of the world.  I have them in various lessons, church, CC, playdates.  It seems like plenty but we've missed some social learning and it's bothering me.  When other kids greet mine, my kids don't even respond half the time.  Hello!  Look at them in the eye and say hi back in a volume that is audible.  One of them thinks nobody wants to play with him but won't even go near the group of kids to show interest.  One is either painfully shy and won't talk to others or so bossy that everyone wants to leave.  Things like that.  

 

How do I go about teaching this?  Are there any storybook collections that address the behavior?  

 

Anything?

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You don't need storybook collections. They won't address the behavior as much as is needed.

 

This is a skill that is taught by parents. You can begin by making sure they look you in the eyeball when you're talking to them, and that they answer you clearly. When people come to your home, you require your dc to greet them, making eye contact and saying "hello" clearly and audibly. When y'all are out in public and other people come up to you, and your dc mumble and don't make eye contact, you gently correct them and require them to do what is appropriate.

 

You can gently address the other behavior, as well. When you see the inappropriate behavior, correct it right then. You don't have to make a scene or anything :-) but it is acceptable for you to gently intervene.

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My daughters go to a part-time Montessori preK-K, and I have really appreciated their grace & courtesy lessons -- here is a quick link:

 

http://www.infomontessori.com/practical-life/grace-and-courtesy-introduction.htm

 

These all seem like they are the early lessons, but they do outline carefully the look them in the eye, clear speaking stuff. In their class they take turns practicing on each other, but their teachers have told us that one way to help them really internalize it is to exaggerate our grace & courtesy. Yes, I stare a 3 year old in the eye and say "Thank you sooo much for your help."

 

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I don't know the ages of your dc, but these are skills that will need to be taught and practiced. There are books on social skills and manners, but I found just talking about these things directly with my kids made the biggest difference. We've talked about not being bossy, about how to politely greet someone, etc. One thing I don't do is correct them in front of others. I will take them aside and talk to them privately---when my ds was little, he could tend to be bossy. When I noticed this, I would call him over and quietly remind him of how to behave. When dd was younger and too shy to greet someone, we talked about it later, and practiced what to do next time. I was very shy growing up and having my mom pointing out a social faux pas in front of others was humiliating to me.

Are there kids you can invite over for a play date or a park day? Practicing these skills with one or two other kids that they know can be easier than random kids. 😊

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My kids are 9, 7, 4, 2.   The 7yo ( a boy) does struggle with some social anxiety.  

 

There is next to no opportunity to play with neighborhood kids in a free-play setting right now, but we are moving next week to the suburbs, so I hope that will change.  They play with cousins frequently but they all seem to flock to their same-gendered cousin who is 2 years younger (i.e. 9yo plays with 7yo, 7yo plays with 4 yo).

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I am under the opinion that weird homeschool kids are created by parents that fail to teach manners. Ps kids learn these manner because they're bullied for failing to follow them. Social conventions just need to be taught like any other skill.

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There are social classes and manners/etiquitte classes that teach these skills. I run a cotillion, and we practice those skills all the time. It is surprising how positive peer pressure helps. You will have to coach and practice with your kids a lot. Keep signing up for social activities; I do not think public school socialize kids. It can sure make shy and awkward kids feel horrible. 

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We practice sometimes and'overdramatize' the manners, just to make a point.

 

Ex: when I was ticked off about lack of table manners we had a dinner where everyone was excessively polite. It actually made an impact. And they had fun. :) We might be due for another one...

 

I also have them 'try again' a lot, even providing them with the correct phrases to say. It's nice to be able to do that with closer relationships, like relatives, if available.

 

I can't get over the 'constantness' of all the reminders, though! I guess the hope is that it sinks in over time. :-P

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