Not just a picky eater? My 3yo

[Hwin]

My 3yo started being a picky eater some time just before he turned two.

 

I have been pretty careful not to engage in battle over it, but I am officially concerned.

 

We've got some gagging going on, we've got some projectile vomiting when medication is involved... and now we've got a hungry kid refusing favorite foods because they are presented a little differently. He can taste pureed vegetables hidden in ANYTHING. Veggies and meat are on his No Way food list.

 

Yesterday, all he really ate was juice, milk, and two bites of a grilled cheese sandwich.

 

Personality wise, he's a sensitive little people pleaser. Shy, sweet, very attached, bubbly. And will hold a BM for 4 days on a camping trip. LOL.

 

I would love to hear that he is just going to outgrow this, but I also have a kiddo on the spectrum, so it's hard to be unaware of anxiety and sensory issues.

[AlmiraGulch]

Interesting post.

 

My now 19 year old daughter had the exact same issues, even down to the no veggies and no meat, and being able to detect them in anything.  She also gagged and projectile vomited when certain tastes or, more likely textures were introduced.  

 

She is on the spectrum.

 

I'm not saying yours is.  I'm just saying that I could have written that part of your post.  

[Farrar]

I was picky like that with a very strong gag reflex as a kid. I also would vomit if I had to eat certain things (not projectile, but immediate). The worst was in school if they made you swish for your teeth. I threw up after that hit my mouth repeatedly. And got in trouble, of course. I could also taste hidden ingredients in everything.

 

Definitely not on the spectrum... I'm pretty sure I'm just a supertaster. :) It *did* get better for me, but very slowly. It was not until my 20's that I ate any vegetables reliably. Now, heading into my 40's, I don't think I'm that picky. I still like sweet tastes better and can't do really spicy stuff or vinegary stuff, but I eat a large variety of stuff.

 

I think it could be a lot of things... sometimes those are signs of sensory issues or ASD, but sometimes they're just signs of a really picky eater.

[Kiara.I]

On the simpler end of things, is there any possibility he has a posterior tongue tie? Does he have a lip tie?

 

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk

[Hwin]

On the simpler end of things, is there any possibility he has a posterior tongue tie? Does he have a lip tie?

 

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk

 

He has a lateral lisp and will be getting speech therapy for articulation, but no one's looked in his mouth carefully (he has medical and dental care but appointments are always quick because he's not an easy patient). He definitely doesn't have a regular tongue/lip tie, though, as I'm familiar with what those look like. I had no latch difficulties with him. He actually weaned because I was getting touched out while pregnant and I think he was aware that I didn't like nursing anymore. So he just stopped.

[knoxinsox]

My son is not on the spectrum but he is beyond a picky eater.  He is 10 tomorrow and we have struggled and I've looked for years for some answers. He will starve or vomit rather than eat his few safe foods. He is a very intense child and very sensitive and has some anxiety issues. 

 

 Its recently been officially declared an eating disorder--Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder or ARFID.  There could be something causing it, or just a very selective eater.  I've gotten some good ideas from the Mealtime Hostage group on Facebook and the book Helping Your Child with Extreme Picky Eating by Dr. Katja Rowell.

[Stratford]

You may want to look into feeding therapy, specifically the SOS method.  Our family has a very similar story with our DS#3 - he started avoiding foods at age 2 (right after weaning) and by age 4 was only eating a handful of things (chicken nuggets, bread, plain noodles, and chocolate milk.  All in tiny amounts.)  His health was suffering (hair loss, chronic constipation, low energy, slow growth) and it was incredibly stressful for DH and I.  We were terrified that by doing something "wrong" he would stop eating completely; and when you don't know the "rules" of a feeding disordered kid, it was hard to know how he would respond to anything.  His was a combination of sensory issues (he's a gagger) and behavioral issues (basically bad habits from two solid years of avoiding all foods.)  

 

We just completed a year of SOS feeding therapy; the pediatric rehab department at our local hospital has a feeding clinic and it has been amazing.  The therapists were wonderful and, in addition to great sessions with him, taught us a lot of tools to use at home.  He still has a difficult time with fruits (still gags sometimes), but now eats all meats, most starches, most veggies, most dairy products, and any and all junk food (ha.)  We are able to introduce new foods and he is usually willing to give them a try.  It really was a life-changing year for him and for our family.  My only wish is that we had found out about it sooner and started when he was two.   

[mommymonster]

I have two terrible eaters. One has sensory issues and anxiety. He spent a goodly amount of time in feeding clinic. We used food chaining as our primary therapy method. This is the book I read while doing the therapy. It might be useful.

[Carrie12345]

My 17yo is on the spectrum, and I was convinced he'd starve himself to death. Somewhere around... 10-ish (?) he began expanding his options.  At 17, he eats almost like a "normal" picky eater. (Not great with vegetables, refuses anything that used to swim, but I'm no longer afraid for his life.)

 

My 8yo is pretty close to where his brother was at his worst.  I just keep telling myself it'll probably get better.

[poppy]

Sounds like my daughter.  We are in feeding therapy.  For her sensory-and-anxiety related issues.  From February to now we have made progress that astonishes me..... she has eaten bites of fruit and veggies such as apple, pear, corn, carrots, watermelon. . It doesn't sound like a big deal but it is, to us. She is 7 and hadn't eaten fruits or veggies in YEARS.  No, blending didn't work.  No, Ellyn Satter division of labor didn't work.

 

Feeding therapy for us involved an initial eval, then weekly therapy with daily homework. (Homework she works out with the teacher: two bites of this, three bites of that).  It is work, time and money, but I only wish I'd started earlier.

 

 

[Hwin]

Thanks, I used the SOS website to find a close-ish speech therapist that uses that method. I am in the process of setting up an appointment. They confirmed that the school wouldn't be involved in this kind of therapy [it doesn't affect his education according to their parameters], which is kind of a relief since we have decent insurance.

 

I have a colleague that has a very similar, but older, child and she tells me the same thing - that she only wishes she'd gotten help sooner. 

[Alexigail]

My son is very similar to this. We've struggled with it for a long time.

 

Cure your Child with Food by Kelly Dorfman was a helpful resource for me. She has a program for introducing foods and eliminating underlying issues that may be causing sensitivity.

 

The other things that helped us a lot were

-A dose of fish oil every day (I thought he'd never eat it, but we got the lime flavored bottle and presented it as a treat.)

-A divided plate that is exclusively his. We let him pick what goes in one section and then chose options from among those we know he has eaten before.

- Giving a huge amount of time for meals. He eats lunch over a two hour period. I sometimes let him watch a show on my ipad while he's eating, which seems to reduce his stress level over being at the table.

-When introducing foods, we ask him just to kiss it the first time. "kiss it goodbye for today". The second time, we just ask for a lick. The third time a mouse bite, the fourth a monkey bite, the fifth a bear bite. If he kisses a new food, I consider that a good day and I don't push him on it. I found that focusing on trying things but giving him the option of rejecting them takes the pressure off and once in awhile he finds something he can tolerate.

-Time. As he's gotten older (he's 6), and his communication has gotten better he can tell us more about what is bothering him with his food.

 

 

Hugs to you, I know how difficult this is!

[SparklyUnicorn]

I was picky like that with a very strong gag reflex as a kid. I also would vomit if I had to eat certain things (not projectile, but immediate). The worst was in school if they made you swish for your teeth. I threw up after that hit my mouth repeatedly. And got in trouble, of course. I could also taste hidden ingredients in everything.

 

Definitely not on the spectrum... I'm pretty sure I'm just a supertaster. :) It *did* get better for me, but very slowly. It was not until my 20's that I ate any vegetables reliably. Now, heading into my 40's, I don't think I'm that picky. I still like sweet tastes better and can't do really spicy stuff or vinegary stuff, but I eat a large variety of stuff.

 

I think it could be a lot of things... sometimes those are signs of sensory issues or ASD, but sometimes they're just signs of a really picky eater.

 

Same here...

[Momto6inIN]

My friend's son was always very picky and a gagger (I babysat him 3x/week so I know firsthand). When he was about 12ish he almost choked to death. It wasn't even on something particularly dangerous ... just like a bite of a casserole or something. Anyway, they finally got him checked out and it turned out there was something wrong with his esophagus and it needed some kind of outpatient stretching procedure. Just a thought ...

[Guest]

We have just persisted in serving adventurous food and requiring they try a bite before declining the rest, and the pickiness has improved with time. With the older kids I'll actually serve the food again if they're just being stubborn, but gagging indicates a texture issue and I would think there may be something else going on with the other symptoms you've indicated. Worst case scenario you can bring it up with a pediatrician and see if they have any better insights. They're probably in a better place to evaluate this than the Hive :)

[poppy]

We have just persisted in serving adventurous food and requiring they try a bite before declining the rest, and the pickiness has improved with time. With the older kids I'll actually serve the food again if they're just being stubborn, but gagging indicates a texture issue and I would think there may be something else going on with the other symptoms you've indicated. Worst case scenario you can bring it up with a pediatrician and see if they have any better insights. They're probably in a better place to evaluate this than the Hive :)

 

After my experience, I would not call a kid who will willingly 'take a bite' a picky eater.  That's just someone finding what he/she likes. 

 

[texasmama]

My picky eater who gagged and threw up when he tried to comply with requests to branch out with his eating is on the spectrum.  I agree with the feeding therapy suggestion.  My picky eater also began to significantly branch out on his own from about 10-12.  I held my breath as I served him instant oatmeal mixed with peanut butter this morning, but he ate it.

[SparklyUnicorn]

We have just persisted in serving adventurous food and requiring they try a bite before declining the rest, and the pickiness has improved with time. With the older kids I'll actually serve the food again if they're just being stubborn, but gagging indicates a texture issue and I would think there may be something else going on with the other symptoms you've indicated. Worst case scenario you can bring it up with a pediatrician and see if they have any better insights. They're probably in a better place to evaluate this than the Hive :)

 

This does not work with everyone.

[SparklyUnicorn]

My doctor didn't recommend anything I think because there were no growth or health issues.  I can't say that at 13 it has gotten better.  My son's list of foods he is willing to eat is rather small, but he keeps growing and is healthy.  If I made him eat certain things (which really there is no way to make him without getting abusive) he would gag and throw up too. 

 

 

[MomatHWTK]

There could be an underlying illness (food allergies, reflux, eos disease) causing his reactions.  There could be a physical problem with his digestive system, or he could have a pyschological disorder causing the problems.  I would have him seen by a doctor as the symptoms seem to be getting worse.  :grouphug:

 

FWIW, my own child had severe food allergies that caused serious eating problems when he was younger. 

[Guest]

This does not work with everyone.

I didn't say it did. It works with us and our children who were picky and had aversions. We dealt with it, and its been a multi year process with one of them. You do you, I'll do me.

 

I don't tolerate zero eating - and yes, I've spent an hour at the table with a kid who absolutely refuses a bite of a previously okay food. I also am not a jerk who serves a bunch of foods my kids can't stand that make them gag. But part of managing their issues has been serving a good variety of food and acclimating them to eating it. Some foods won't ever make that list due to texture, food allergies, and my kids just being little weirdos who don't seem to get how delicious food is. Okay, we deal.

 

If it is a food issue so severe they cannot even touch their tongue to the bite or smell it, a pediatrician needs to be notified. But there are basic OT solutions for managing food issues that have worked well for us thus far.

[Guest]

There could be an underlying illness (food allergies, reflux, eos disease) causing his reactions. There could be a physical problem with his digestive system, or he could have a pyschological disorder causing the problems. I would have him seen by a doctor as the symptoms seem to be getting worse. :grouphug:

 

FWIW, my own child had severe food allergies that caused serious eating problems when he was younger.

Yup, trying to eat and then throwing up or spitting our food was food allergies, here. And one kid had severe texture issues, but wouldn't refuse to eat or gag and projectile vomit until she tried to swallow. We have grown past some of that, but not all.

[Guest]

And the corelleware divided plates rock. Even I use those, because I have issues with food touching and so do my kids. Little bowls are also awesome :D

[Ausmumof3]

I didn't say it did. It works with us and our children who were picky and had aversions. We dealt with it, and its been a multi year process with one of them. You do you, I'll do me.

 

I don't tolerate zero eating - and yes, I've spent an hour at the table with a kid who absolutely refuses a bite of a previously okay food. I also am not a jerk who serves a bunch of foods my kids can't stand that make them gag. But part of managing their issues has been serving a good variety of food and acclimating them to eating it. Some foods won't ever make that list due to texture, food allergies, and my kids just being little weirdos who don't seem to get how delicious food is. Okay, we deal.

 

If it is a food issue so severe they cannot even touch their tongue to the bite or smell it, a pediatrician needs to be notified. But there are basic OT solutions for managing food issues that have worked well for us thus far.

An hour? It could and did extend for hours in our house... When I still felt it was worth it.

To the op, just sympathy. You don't know what it is to deal with this stuff - until you do.

[Hwin]

My doctor didn't recommend anything I think because there were no growth or health issues.  I can't say that at 13 it has gotten better.  My son's list of foods he is willing to eat is rather small, but he keeps growing and is healthy.  If I made him eat certain things (which really there is no way to make him without getting abusive) he would gag and throw up too. 

 

When he wouldn't take medicine (you could get it in there but he'd retch it up), the doctor suggested a suppository. 

 

NOPE.

 

So glad that food suppositories aren't an option. Can you imagine.

[Hwin]

I didn't say it did. It works with us and our children who were picky and had aversions. We dealt with it, and its been a multi year process with one of them. You do you, I'll do me.

 

I don't tolerate zero eating - and yes, I've spent an hour at the table with a kid who absolutely refuses a bite of a previously okay food. I also am not a jerk who serves a bunch of foods my kids can't stand that make them gag. But part of managing their issues has been serving a good variety of food and acclimating them to eating it. Some foods won't ever make that list due to texture, food allergies, and my kids just being little weirdos who don't seem to get how delicious food is. Okay, we deal.

 

If it is a food issue so severe they cannot even touch their tongue to the bite or smell it, a pediatrician needs to be notified. But there are basic OT solutions for managing food issues that have worked well for us thus far.

 

We are somewhere in the middle. No, he cannot touch his tongue to the food he won't eat. He would gag. But he does have more foods on the "okay" list than the really extreme examples I've seen.

 

I am leaning toward anxiety and possible sensory vs food allergies or physical issues. I expect that a therapist would be able to tease that out pretty effectively, though.

[LucyStoner]

IME, I'd let the pediatrician know but I would go straight to the specialist like the feeding clinic at the Children's Hospital.  

 

It's not easy and most of the pat advice just doesn't even begin to touch it when there's sensory and anxiety issues in the mix.  

[J-rap]

My nephew was like that.  My sister just kind of let it go (he was still healthy), didn't fight it, let him eat what he wanted.  He was a handful of a kid (got into a lot of little mischief!), although very shy.  All the years he was growing up, I don't remember seeing him eat anything except white bread, pasta with butter, white rice and plain cheese pizza.  He is around 37 now, and last I heard, he has now added meat into his diet.  I've often wondered if he is slightly on the spectrum, though he has never been tested or diagnosed.

 

One of my daughters has some weird food issues, though others probably wouldn't notice.  She cannot mix different textures in the same mouthful.  It's actually a huge deal for her.  She cannot do this, no matter what.  She also has a few other kind of minor OC issues but again, they would not be noticeable to most people and don't inhibit her lifestyle.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I didn't say it did. It works with us and our children who were picky and had aversions. We dealt with it, and its been a multi year process with one of them. You do you, I'll do me.

 

I don't tolerate zero eating - and yes, I've spent an hour at the table with a kid who absolutely refuses a bite of a previously okay food. I also am not a jerk who serves a bunch of foods my kids can't stand that make them gag. But part of managing their issues has been serving a good variety of food and acclimating them to eating it. Some foods won't ever make that list due to texture, food allergies, and my kids just being little weirdos who don't seem to get how delicious food is. Okay, we deal.

 

If it is a food issue so severe they cannot even touch their tongue to the bite or smell it, a pediatrician needs to be notified. But there are basic OT solutions for managing food issues that have worked well for us thus far.

 

I don't think their level of pickiness was as extreme because I tried these things and they did not work.  I did go to the doctor about it.

 

Yes I know I am sensitive about this subject because I feel like people are telling me I'm a bad parent for not forcing my kid to eat and gag and that I couldn't MAKE them do something.  I fully admit this is how I "hear" this advice. 

 

I honestly don't think that the tactic will work for someone who has a real issue. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

IME, I'd let the pediatrician know but I would go straight to the specialist like the feeding clinic at the Children's Hospital.  

 

It's not easy and most of the pat advice just doesn't even begin to touch it when there's sensory and anxiety issues in the mix.  

 

I would have done that if there were health issues because the tactics they use are very hard on the kid and IMO boarder on abusive.  It may be necessary in an extreme situation, but not in all situations.

[Hwin]

I don't think their level of pickiness was as extreme because I tried these things and they did not work.  I did go to the doctor about it.

 

Yes I know I am sensitive about this subject because I feel like people are telling me I'm a bad parent for not forcing my kid to eat and gag and that I couldn't MAKE them do something.  I fully admit this is how I "hear" this advice. 

 

I honestly don't think that the tactic will work for someone who has a real issue. 

 

I will never force my kids to do anything that involves their own bodies, and having an autistic child has given me a lot of insight into how asinine some expert opinions are. Do you mean that feeding therapy is possibly abusive in this way? Forceful?

[poppy]

I don't think their level of pickiness was as extreme because I tried these things and they did not work.  I did go to the doctor about it.

 

Yes I know I am sensitive about this subject because I feel like people are telling me I'm a bad parent for not forcing my kid to eat and gag and that I couldn't MAKE them do something.  I fully admit this is how I "hear" this advice. 

 

I honestly don't think that the tactic will work for someone who has a real issue. 

 

Every single time I'm with family and they see me offer my daughter an alternative food, I get to hear about the cousin who didn't want to try eggplant. She refused to eat it. Her mom stood there for over an hour when the girl cried and tried to bargain her way out of it. But her mom stood firm and  explained it was healthy. Eventually the girl did try it-- and admitted she liked it.  I smile politely, grit my teeth and change the subject.  It's like telling someone with a gushing wound "I used to be bleeding, but I put on a bandaid, and the bleeding stopped. Have you tried that?"

[poppy]

I will never force my kids to do anything that involves their own bodies, and having an autistic child has given me a lot of insight into how asinine some expert opinions are. Do you mean that feeding therapy is possibly abusive in this way? Forceful?

 

Feeding therapy always involves the child's consent. A hospital clinic may involve more invasive practices.

 

[LucyStoner]

I would have done that if there were health issues because the tactics they use are very hard on the kid and IMO boarder on abusive. It may be necessary in an extreme situation, but not in all situations.

I agree in some cases. For us, we decided we had bigger fish to fry. Because he was eating a limited but not terrible diet we waited him out. We have seen a huge improvement over the last 3-4 months which I am really grateful for and I have no doubt that if I would have made food a power struggle that we wouldn't have seen these gains. One thing we took from the consult and workshop we did though was the idea of "food chaining". So focusing on something he would eat and then add something to it. Maybe working from rice to rice with diced carrot. Stuff like that. That was helpful at different times.

 

A picky kid without sensory and food anxiety and tasting issues just isn't the same situation. My 6 year old can and does try stuff and not lose it. He can do that. My older child at 6 could not.

[LucyStoner]

Every single time I'm with family and they see me offer my daughter an alternative food, I get to hear about the cousin who didn't want to try eggplant. She refused to eat it. Her mom stood there for over an hour when the girl cried and tried to bargain her way out of it. But her mom stood firm and explained it was healthy. Eventually the girl did try it-- and admitted she liked it. I smile politely, grit my teeth and change the subject. It's like telling someone with a gushing wound "I used to be bleeding, but I put on a bandaid, and the bleeding stopped. Have you tried that?"

Word.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Every single time I'm with family and they see me offer my daughter an alternative food, I get to hear about the cousin who didn't want to try eggplant. She refused to eat it. Her mom stood there for over an hour when the girl cried and tried to bargain her way out of it. But her mom stood firm and  explained it was healthy. Eventually the girl did try it-- and admitted she liked it.  I smile politely, grit my teeth and change the subject.  It's like telling someone with a gushing wound "I used to be bleeding, but I put on a bandaid, and the bleeding stopped. Have you tried that?"

 

My father would hit my sister when she wouldn't eat something.  She still would not eat it.  He slapped her across the face.  Still would not eat it.  They'd make her sit there all night.  She still would not eat it.  They'd wrap up the food and not feed her thinking she would give in.  She did not.  It did.not.work.

 

As an adult she is not as picky.  She grew out of a lot of it.  But of course she is now suffering from the consequences of abuse and a parent hell bent on winning.

 

I seem to have several people in my family with these issues. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I will never force my kids to do anything that involves their own bodies, and having an autistic child has given me a lot of insight into how asinine some expert opinions are. Do you mean that feeding therapy is possibly abusive in this way? Forceful?

 

Yes it is forceful.  I don't know tons about it, but what I've read about and had other people tell me about I would not do unless my kid was failing to thrive.

 

Granted, I'm not in love with the fact, for example, that my son will not eat a single vegetable.  I don't like this at all.  But he eats vitamin enriched foods such as cereals.  He will eat fruits.  He eats meat.  He mostly likes carbs.  It is what it is.  I'm not going to abuse him over it.

[texasmama]

Not all feeding therapies are forceful.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Not all feeding therapies are forceful.

 

Such as?

[texasmama]

Such as?

My son has my computer watching his Spanish video, and I am stuck with my phone so can't link. But a friend with a kid on the spectrum had her child in extensive feeding therapy that was very gradual and play-based, taking weeks to progress and involving the child's consent. She would not allow coercive methods. I will come back later when I have my computer.

 

Sigh. This kid needs his own computer if he is going to have two online classes, yo.

[Staceyshoe]

We went through 18 months of feeding therapy with 4 therapists before they finally ordered an upper endoscopy.  Lo and behold, there was a medical issue that was easily resolved after being diagnosed.  Soooo frustrating after the amount of time, money, and energy that went into feeding therapy appointments (70+ appointments, food logs, and at home work (3 hrs/day!).  Just another perspective since I'm hearing a lot of advice for feeding therapy.  A 15 minute procedure to rule out a medical issue would have saved me enormous time and frustration---and helped ds to not be in pain during the 18 months he was receiving therapy.

[poppy]

Such as?

What feeding therapy have you experienced that is forceful? The kind we are doing (which is typical) is administered by a speech pathologist, who sits with the child weekly and encourages them to try new foods. First just touching, then 'kissing' , then small bites that the child can spit out... It is very gradual and cooperative. No force involved. It is child motivated. I know my own very selective eater really wants to be able to be 'normal' and to eat with her friends without it always being so stressful.

[texasmama]

The therapy my friend's child had is called SOS therapy.  He is definitely on the autistic spectrum, so this was not a medical issue but was related to sensory aversion. This is a quote of her description of it:

 

Long story short: SOS is great for sensory kids because it knows kids on the spectrum reject a food usually because of its texture, smell, color, etc. And that makes the food scary to try to the kid. So it takes all that away. 

You start with all white food. I think we did ranch dressing, mozzerella string cheese, cauliflower, milk, and white rice. All in individual ziploc baggies so you can't feel or smell it. And you just let them pick it up and feel it through the bag. Squish it, if they want. And for some reason, they never call it the food it is. Ranch was "mud", rice was "snow", cauliflower was "trees". I guess in case some kids have a bad aversion to the name because of previous commands"Eat your broccoli!" or something like that. 

After a few sessions of stuff in a bag, then you let the kids pour out the stuff on plate. Then you let them play with it. Drive matchbox cars through the "mud". Break up the string cheese and let them make a snowman from the pieces. Line the rice up piece by piece  Whatever appeals to them. 

After a few sessions of that, you encourage touching with fingers. Then after that, smelling. After that, you encourage getting the food near their face. Tasting is absolutely last and only when the child is comfortable with all the other steps. 

It takes FOREVER since you stay at one color and one set of food for so long, but some kids can move faster through it. It basically takes the fear out of the food and makes it fun and not scary any more. 

Also, one taste is enough. The child is not asked to taste food again that he does not like. The goal is for the child to TRY new foods, which usually leads to discovering that he does like something else. But of course, they aren't going to like everything. That way, you reinforce the idea that you will not force them to eat something they don't like. 

We did this with him until we got through all colors of the rainbow (and you aim to get all four food groups each color), then we started mixing colors (raw carrots with ranch dressing and strawberries and wheat bread on the same plate). Then we started mixing food (spaghetti with sauce on top, and I'm blanking on the other stuff), then for the last month, I brought leftovers from dinner the nights before. Regular meals that I wanted him to try. 

By that time, it really helped for him to see each separate ingredient before we made it into something. For example, he wouldn't eat pizza. But he'd eat marinara sauce, mozzarella cheese, and bread. So, he made a little french bread pizza one day and he could see that he was just using foods that were acceptable to him. 

 

ETA:  Here is a link - http://www.nutrition411.com/content/sequential-oral-sensory-sos-approach-feeding

[Hwin]

We went through 18 months of feeding therapy with 4 therapists before they finally ordered an upper endoscopy.  Lo and behold, there was a medical issue that was easily resolved after being diagnosed.  Soooo frustrating after the amount of time, money, and energy that went into feeding therapy appointments (70+ appointments, food logs, and at home work (3 hrs/day!).  Just another perspective since I'm hearing a lot of advice for feeding therapy.  A 15 minute procedure to rule out a medical issue would have saved me enormous time and frustration---and helped ds to not be in pain during the 18 months he was receiving therapy.

 I was figuring that a feeding therapist would know how to look for signs of a physical issue or food allergies, but it sounds like that may not be the case :/

[Hwin]

Texasmama, thanks for sharing! That is the type of therapy we are tentatively pursuing.

 

 

What feeding therapy have you experienced that is forceful? The kind we are doing (which is typical) is administered by a speech pathologist, who sits with the child weekly and encourages them to try new foods. First just touching, then 'kissing' , then small bites that the child can spit out... It is very gradual and cooperative. No force involved. It is child motivated. I know my own very selective eater really wants to be able to be 'normal' and to eat with her friends without it always being so stressful.

 

I did read up a little bit and have read some descriptions that sound manipulative and prey on kids' weaknesses. I am very confident in my ability to recognize and refuse that kind of therapy, but I appreciate knowing that it's out there!

 

Of course, now I'm starting to wonder if he even needs it because he had okay day eating yesterday. Well, except for only drinking milk out of a new container - he didn't want me to pour out of the mostly empty jug.

[Katy]

I'm out of likes.  I'd take him to a specialist too, but I'd probably see a pediatrician first just to rule out a physical issue.

 

This was a friend of a friend situation so not someone I know well personally but I did hear of a kid who would eat nothing but flour products and dairy products and a naturopath or someone told them the child had a mild allergy to the foods and the cycle of feeling worse then feeling better as his body fought the allergies was basically driving him to eat the foods.  So the mother removed everything he insisted on eating, kept them out of the house, and offered many other things.  It was a few days of tantrums and high emotions but eventually said kiddo did branch out.  If projectile vomiting was involved though, I'd try a doctor first just to make sure it's not a physical issue.  ETA: or a spectrum issue.

[SparklyUnicorn]

What feeding therapy have you experienced that is forceful? The kind we are doing (which is typical) is administered by a speech pathologist, who sits with the child weekly and encourages them to try new foods. First just touching, then 'kissing' , then small bites that the child can spit out... It is very gradual and cooperative. No force involved. It is child motivated. I know my own very selective eater really wants to be able to be 'normal' and to eat with her friends without it always being so stressful.

 

And what do you do if the kid refuses?

Glad to read some of these things aren't awful though.  I have heard some awful stories.

[Stratford]

And what do you do if the kid refuses?

Glad to read some of these things aren't awful though.  I have heard some awful stories.

 

Our feeding therapy was SO gentle (SOS method.)  And some weeks, he did refuse things, and that was okay.  His plate always had about 50% preferred foods (things that felt "safe" to him) so she would make sure he had good food experiences with those.  At first, the goal was to get him to tolerating having unpreferred foods on his plate.  That was a big step.  The therapist engaged in a lot of sensory play with the food - touching it, smooshing it, throwing it into a bucket, things like that. Forcing him to try a new food was never a thing.  Eventually, after playing with it, he would sniff it, touch it to his lips (kissing it), lick it, put a bite in and spit it out, chew once and spit, etc, etc.  He had a lot of control but after a few sessions was always willing to play along.  The longer he went, the quicker he would try new things.  By the end, he popped a broccoli floret in his mouth and that was it.  Easy.  Feeding therapy was an empowering experience for all of us, but mostly for him.

[6packofun]

Every single time I'm with family and they see me offer my daughter an alternative food, I get to hear about the cousin who didn't want to try eggplant. She refused to eat it. Her mom stood there for over an hour when the girl cried and tried to bargain her way out of it. But her mom stood firm and  explained it was healthy. Eventually the girl did try it-- and admitted she liked it.  I smile politely, grit my teeth and change the subject.  It's like telling someone with a gushing wound "I used to be bleeding, but I put on a bandaid, and the bleeding stopped. Have you tried that?"

 

I hear that.  *sigh*  I've had to stop talking to my own mom, who I am pretty close to for the most part, about this specific thing because of conversations like these.  No, I haven't ever tried just giving him ONE new food a week or something genius like that.  Like the point is just offering the dang food.  No, it's how to make him feel OK about touching it and/or putting it in his mouth to even TRY it!

[Guest]

An hour? It could and did extend for hours in our house... When I still felt it was worth it.

To the op, just sympathy. You don't know what it is to deal with this stuff - until you do.

I have a limit where I let us both walk away for my sanity. I was glad when I found out there was another way than a battle of wills! I wish I'd known about more gentle approaches *first*.

 

OP, let us know how things go!