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Just Kate

S/O What to do with dd's wavy hair?

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Dd (just turned 8) has fine, wavy hair. It gets knotted up frequently and I often spend time with conditioner and a wide-tooth comb working through it. She washes and conditions it herself , probably 3 times a week or so. She uses a detangling brush (sort of like this one but with a handle

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00264NW7G/ref=mp_s_a_1_11?qid=1439769705&sr=8-11&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=no+tangle+brush+as+seen+on+tv)along with detangling spray each morning. The problem is that it doesn't get to her underneath layer, which is where she gets all of her knots. Unless I spend. Lot of time on her hair (washing, blow drying it, and then running a flat iron over it - I rarely do this!) it looks messy. Oh, and I know that using heat on her hair isn't actually good, but isn't that strange that that is when it looks the best?

 

So im wondering if I should look into something (the curly girl method? specific product?) for her hair? Does the curly girl method even apply to wavy hair? Any thoughts?

 

Oh and we have a wet brush but she HATES it!

 

I attempted to attach a pic of her so you can see her hair. If it works, this pic was taken first thing in the morning.

 

ETA: please forgive the typos - I'm on my iPhone.

post-32163-0-29844100-1439770553_thumb.jpg

post-32163-0-29844100-1439770553_thumb.jpg

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Wash less. More conditioner. There are lots of different products, but that's the general rule.

 

Most people will recommend that whatever products you choose, they should be sulfate free. I also do not use detangling spray. At least not that is labeled as such. You can make your own detangling spray out of a tbsp of conditioner or so and some water in a spray bottle.

 

Also, as KungfuPanda mentioned in the other thread, braids are really best until the child is old enough to be able to manage it all on her own. Braids at night are key. We do one braid down the center, but others would say two are best. Most of the time with dd, we "cowash" - basically get her hair wet, apply conditioner, comb through with wide tooth comb, rinse most of the way out, and squeeze dry. We don't use a brush. I'll run a wide tooth comb through her hair after we squeeze it dry.

 

As long as she's home and I'm involved, we can avoid most messes. If someone else is responsible for her hair, or if she is, then all bets are off. The Aussie 5-Minute Miracle Moist saved us tonight. If it's really bad, rub liberal amounts in the big tangles, separating them as best as you can, and rub more in. Put a shower cap on and let sit 20 minutes and then comb out. She was stil pretty tangled before that point and I thought we'd be there all night. That hefty bit of heavy duty conditioner (probably half the bottle) plus time really did the trick.

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Wash less. More conditioner. There are lots of different products, but that's the general rule.

 

Most people will recommend that whatever products you choose, they should be sulfate free. I also do not use detangling spray. At least not that is labeled as such. You can make your own detangling spray out of a tbsp of conditioner or so and some water in a spray bottle.

 

Also, as KungfuPanda mentioned in the other thread, braids are really best until the child is old enough to be able to manage it all on her own. Braids at night are key. We do one braid down the center, but others would say two are best. Most of the time with dd, we "cowash" - basically get her hair wet, apply conditioner, comb through with wide tooth comb, rinse most of the way out, and squeeze dry. We don't use a brush. I'll run a wide tooth comb through her hair after we squeeze it dry.

 

As long as she's home and I'm involved, we can avoid most messes. If someone else is responsible for her hair, or if she is, then all bets are off. The Aussie 5-Minute Miracle Moist saved us tonight. If it's really bad, rub liberal amounts in the big tangles, separating them as best as you can, and rub more in. Put a shower cap on and let sit 20 minutes and then comb out. She was stil pretty tangled before that point and I thought we'd be there all night. That hefty bit of heavy duty conditioner (probably half the bottle) plus time really did the trick.

Thanks! We sometimes do braids at night and it does help, but then what do we do in the morning? The braids come out and something needs to be done to her hair. That's when we normally use the detangling spray me brush.

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My son has long (longer than your daughter) wavy hair. He will be 14 next week and I just recently realized how he gets such tangles. When he brushed it, or combed when wet, he wasn't completing the pull-through of the implement. So his brush/comb would be *almost* out of his hair, then he would bring it back up to his scalp and do it again. Eventually there were knots that could NOT (see what I did there?  :laugh: ) be undone so I ended up cutting some out. Could this be happening with your daughter?

 

I have curly hair, and so would my son if he treated it like curly hair; I can attest that using the Curly Girl treatment really does make a huge difference.

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Thanks! We sometimes do braids at night and it does help, but then what do we do in the morning? The braids come out and something needs to be done to her hair. That's when we normally use the detangling spray me brush.

 

Brush it out and re-braid it.

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Thanks! We sometimes do braids at night and it does help, but then what do we do in the morning? The braids come out and something needs to be done to her hair. That's when we normally use the detangling spray me brush.

There's silicone in the detangling spray that will make things counter productive down the line. It will build up and start to make the hair sticky. Usually, if her hair is braided at night, there really isn't anything to be done the next day except maybe taking the braid out and finger combing it real quick. Two braids tend to come out less than one big braid. I just do plain braids, too, from the base of the neck out.

 

We don't use a brush because that makes my dd's hair ridiculously frizzy. If you'd like to do something then, I'd spritz it with my conditioner/water spray, use a wide toothed comb, and braid it back up. Dd will get tangles around her neck in her hair, but ime it's more of a maintenance thing and far easier to stay on top off. When dd combs her own hair, she's lucky if she combs any more than the top layer. It really does go best, and take less time, if I stay on top of it myself.

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My YDD has very, very thick curly/wavy hair. She loves her Tangle Teezer, but you do have to use it underneath as well as on top.  You may need to help her brush - Sylvia can usually do a pre-brush before a shower, and DH or I go back over it to get the last little tangles out.  As far as conditioning, do it every time you wash.  Put her hair like a ponytail and condition the ponytail down to the ends.  Give a quick brush over the top of her head.

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I still hAve to brush my 8 year olds hair daily. Sometimes twice daily! Her sisters have more manageable hair and can do their own every couple days.

 

I brush her hair in the morning and at night. If she is going swimming (which creates the worst knots) I braid her hair into four braids. I also do that at night. Other days she does one or two braids, ponytails, or if we are feeling adventurous she wears it long and takes a hair tie.

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But I keep hearing not to brush it.

 

How else would you get out the tangles??? And keep it clean to her scalp???

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How else would you get out the tangles??? And keep it clean to her scalp???

I keep reading to only use a wide tooth comb and only when wet.

 

Tonight, I helped dd in the shower and used the Aussie 3 Minute Miracle in her hair. I worked through the knots with my fingers and I think I got them all out! I used a t shirt instead of a towel to help get the dripping water out and then I used my brand new, homemade detangler on her - water mixed with conditioner. I combed it in and then braided in two braids. I'm think I'm also going to try to find a sulfate free shampoo for her.

 

How did I do??? School starts this Thursday and I would love it if we could get a nice hair routine going.

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  1. Reduce (or eliminate) washing.

Use conditioner, in the shower, and use a very wide tooth comb or your fingers. After using conditioner to wash, I use MORE conditioner and let sit like normal conditioner.

After co-washing, don't use a towel. Squeeze hair, and interact with it minimally. Like, don't touch it.

Don't, don't, don't brush or comb after the shower, whether wet or dry.

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How did I do??? School starts this Thursday and I would love it if we could get a nice hair routine going.

It sounds like you did great! Just remember that it's a learning process and requires some degree of trial and error. Another really good idea is to find a salon and hair stylist who is familiar with curly girls. They can recommend products and help teach you and your daughter how best to care for her hair. Not all of them will be familiar with how to handle curly hair so call around first. If your dd hasn't had a cut in awhile, now's a good time to go in for a trim. Healthy ends helps, we've found.

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My dd and I both have somewhat curly hair. DD is more challenging because she hates me doing anything to it. (I either straighten or diffuse mine.) So, for DD I do what many others have recommended. We wash once a week, use a wide tooth comb while conditioner is in hair, let it air dry and call it good. We keep it shoulder length and layered so braiding doesn't work great for us. Most of the time, it goes in a ponytail or half up/half down. We never use a regular brush on her hair or even a comb after the shower.

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I keep reading to only use a wide tooth comb and only when wet.

 

Tonight, I helped dd in the shower and used the Aussie 3 Minute Miracle in her hair. I worked through the knots with my fingers and I think I got them all out! I used a t shirt instead of a towel to help get the dripping water out and then I used my brand new, homemade detangler on her - water mixed with conditioner. I combed it in and then braided in two braids. I'm think I'm also going to try to find a sulfate free shampoo for her.

 

How did I do??? School starts this Thursday and I would love it if we could get a nice hair routine going.

 

I don't care whether you use a brush or a comb, lol. I only meant that you could [brush or comb] it out in the morning and rebraid it. :-)

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ETA: Oops! I see that you know about the Wet Brush already. Sorry, that was my best advice!

 

Her hair looks a lot like mine--very wavy underneath with some straight on top. I definitely need to use conditioner, and I also use Moroccan Oil after toweling off my hair. Then I brush my wet hair with a Wet Brush. This brush is seriously a miracle to me, and I couldn't do without it now that I have it! I used to use a wide-toothed comb and it just didn't do the trick in getting through all the tangles. If I brush through it all when it's wet, I can just scrunch the waves gently and my hair doesn't frizz. Braids at night also help.

 

The other option is to blow dry it straight with a round brush. It's just a little time consuming, as you noted.

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I don't care whether you use a brush or a comb, lol. I only meant that you could [brush or comb] it out in the morning and rebraid it. :-)

 

Lol...sorry for being so easily confused! Now I see what you were saying. :)

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  • Reduce (or eliminate) washing.
  • Use conditioner, in the shower, and use a very wide tooth comb or your fingers. After using conditioner to wash, I use MORE conditioner and let sit like normal conditioner.
  • After co-washing, don't use a towel. Squeeze hair, and interact with it minimally. Like, don't touch it.
  • Don't, don't, don't brush or comb after the shower, whether wet or dry.

I agree!

 

I also use the conditioner as if it is shampoo and then use conditioner in the usual manner.

 

I sometimes get tangles that require scissors. I was taught a trick that works well for me...*never* cut out a tangle straight across (like how one would trim bangs). Instead make a tiny snip up and down and see if the tangle loosened up, if not make another snip. Again, this is a tiny snip up and down sort of like putting the scissors between hairs.

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Thanks! We sometimes do braids at night and it does help, but then what do we do in the morning? The braids come out and something needs to be done to her hair. That's when we normally use the detangling spray me brush.

I braid my own hair and the kids every night (mine is down to my thighs), and in the morning we all get some sort of updo. The girls favor plaits, french braids, ponytails, etc, but the only day of the week they wear it down is church. That contains the hair drama.

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I had similar issues and this is what helped me. I have to flip my head and comb underneath to get the bottom layer tangle free. Eliminating shampoo also went a long way towards detangling. I only shampoo occasionally when I get buildup. Otherwise I condition twice a week and pin it up during the day.

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Thanks so much for all of the tips! For anyone who is curious, I have already made one change, which has made a HUGE difference in dd's hair. Before, we used detangling spray a lot! We would spray it down before bed (on a non-washing night) and then braid it. But in the morning, her hair was kind of stiff, which meant we would spray it again and brush it. It would either go back in a braid or just down for the day (which she prefers). If down, it would be kinda poofy and frizzy.

 

So instead of using the detangling spray, I emptied out an almost-gone bottle and added a mixture of conditioner and water. We have been spraying that on her hair, along with using a wide tooth comb (no brush) and her hair has been so much better! No more stiff hair. No more frizziness. I'm so excited!!!

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I like curly hair. My daughter is 10 years old with curly hair. The most important thing for me is how to deal with knotting. It seems that just using conditioner is not enough. Her hair was soon knotted. I dare not try the iron on her hair. So confused. Maybe I should use a hair dryer with a nozzle to straighten her hair.

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From the photos I’d say she has curly hair but you’re trying to fight it. Fine curly hair is so hard to keep detangled. My mom just kept me in braids until I could do my own hair. A good diva cut would look nice when it dries naturally, but it would probably release even more curls and make her even curlier than the photos. 

You should read curly girl for the tips (co-washing, pineappling at night, not touching it dry, and keeping frizz at bay.). It’ll make her hair look nicer, but it won’t keep a kid detangled. That either takes time or constant braids.

Also, be prepared for the possibility that her hair will change when she hits puberty. Hormones can do weird things to hair. 

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