High School and Extracurricular Passions

[Woodland Mist Academy]

If this has been covered, feel free to direct me to links. :)

 

We've discussed academic passions, but what about extracurricular ones with commitments? I'm particularity interested in ones that don't have a direct academic leaning (science or math clubs).

 

How many does your child have? How many hours a week total are spent on them? I'm not thinking of passions that the students can just easily skip or walk away from on a given day- such as drawing or video games. I'm thinking more along the lines of someone expecting a student to show up - such as for a performance.

 

In other words, it's my annual beginning of the school year thread of panic.... ;)

[quark]

(Deleted -- irrelevant to OP's question.)

 

I just finished my own panic attack, lol. It will be okay (hugs).

[Pen]

Mine is not officially HS yet, but has 2, and I expect that will continue.  2 are as many as I can handle until he is old enough to drive himself, and seem also to be a reasonable number not to create Hurried Child syndrome.  Also his 2 so far do not overlap at the same time of the year--though he may try to increase one of them to become year round.  One activity is a sport and one is a (partially performance) art area activity/ potentially when he is older also with community service aspects.

 

The number of hours per week he spends on these things aspect varies from 0 much of the time (when neither activity is in session) to maybe 5 hours per day during intense participation times.  So far he has just had one performance and one job where he was on the hook to be there and participate.  One is coming up shortly which I am a bit nervous about, not being sure how much he will step up to the plate and do it all himself and how much I am going to need to remind, push, or even help him.  Actually it is for the art thing and community members of all ages are welcome, so if I do need to help it will be okay, but I would probably not have chosen the particular commitment he chose.

[Donna]

Not quite sure yet whether or not I will call this dd's 1st year of high school or put that designation off another year (the year she would actually be in 9th grade if in school). She is doing all high school level classes this year but at this point I have no intention of graduating her early and may need to spread high school out to five years due to her extracurricular passion.

 

I have a full school year planned so far…Alg. 2 online, language arts (with a mentor), French (with a tutor), Latin, Chemistry, World History, and Music Theory (online)…but with travel for gigs and her daily practice (often 3-4 hours a day) this may be too enthusiastic and we may need to scale back. Not exactly sure how we will do this or what to drop but we'll see how it goes and make decisions as they come.

 

Dd travels nearly every weekend, sometimes including Fridays, for gigs.  We have 11 days in Ireland planned for competition/gigs at the end of October, and 5 days in Boston in March plus weekly lessons in both classical violin and twice monthly lessons for fiddle usually on weekends she doesn't have gigs. She gave up orchestra last year and her fiddling took over that time plus some. She is also working on fundraising for charity which takes time…she decorates violin mutes and gives her profits to a charity of her choice.

[quark]

Re Pen's Hurried Child comment...this is always on my mind. I really don't like to over schedule. It stresses me out to be always watching the clock. So I don't know if what we're doing (about 5 hrs a week) is typical or too little for ECs. We are one of the least scheduled for ECs families I know around here.

 

Donna (just thinking aloud because what you said struck a chord), I have been considering last and this year as high school but am also not sure whether or not to make it more official (probably don't need to decide right now but it will start getting more obvious next year). We sort of decided to plan for fall to be 10th grade although he will enter 8th by age. I just finished compiling his transcript for "9th grade" and other high school/ college work completed prior to 9th and it makes sense to call this 10th. This way, we have two years of cushion-time and can dial back to age-based if needed but it also gives him the enthusiasm and motivation to reach goals sooner if he wants that. He doesn't have a lot of other commitments like performance or competitions though. If he did, I would probably keep this fall as 8th.

[Donna]

 

Donna (just thinking aloud because what you said struck a chord), I have been considering last and this year as high school but am also not sure whether or not to make it more official (probably don't need to decide right now but it will start getting more obvious next year). We sort of decided to plan for fall to be 10th grade although he will enter 8th by age. I just finished compiling his transcript for "9th grade" and other high school/ college work completed prior to 9th and it makes sense to call this 10th. This way, we have two years of cushion-time and can dial back to age-based if needed but it also gives him the enthusiasm and motivation to reach goals sooner if he wants that. He doesn't have a lot of other commitments like performance or competitions though. If he did, I would probably keep this fall as 8th.

 

I hear you. I could technically have considered last year high school as well since classes were high school level. Dd did biology and geometry last year. I am thinking she may do AP Biology next year or the year after so I am fine simply not counting last year as high school but counting the geometry on her transcript as completed prior to high school.

[The Governess]

My dd is only 11, but we will most likely be in this situation in high school. She currently spends around 15 hours a week at her ballet school. She is also taking high school-level Chinese and will start Algebra I this fall. She wants to join a math comp team too. I can see that in a couple years her studies are going to require a lot of time across the board, and I don't know how she's going to fit it all in! Right now we stay sane by keeping our weekends free of commitments and trying hard to get all schoolwork done by Friday afternoon. She has some online classes so I can't just let things go if we run short on time. The good thing is that we are all learning strict time management. I will be following to see what seasoned parents are doing to accommodate their kids.

[Woodland Mist Academy]

I'm not sure why I felt the need to specify nonacademic extracurriculars. Did I think academic ones happen in a vacuum and don't take up time and energy?  :confused1:  I can't remember now... Hmmm.... What exactly is a nonacademic extracurricular anyway? Maybe that whole concept is irrelevant to the discussion...

 

Thanks for the responses so far. I'm not quite sure what I'm thinking, but reading through the posts I feel better knowing I'm not the only one struggling...   I'm not sure what the goal is. What is a non-hurried child? Where is the line? Is it if the child is stressed? Is that what makes the child hurried? 

 

Still thinking and processing the posts...

 

[KarenNC]

Ours varied last year (9th grade):

--worked backstage on a community theater production (adult, not youth theater), involving a total of about 90 hours of work including 10 performances over three weekends in Sept

--Girl Scouts, involves 2 meetings a month, about an hour and a half each, plus some weekend camping trips or other activities

--aikido (she does this along with my husband), hour and a half classes with a 40 min one-way drive, varying from 3x/week at the beginning of the year to up to 6x/week plus an hour of kickboxing once a week (prior to one aikido session) for the end of the year into summer.

 

Obviously, aikido took a backseat to the theater during the end of the rehearsals. She already knows that it's unlikely she'll be able to continue 6 nights a week of aikido once school starts, but we'll play it by ear to see how things go. We're doing less running to outside classes this year, which will help by not chopping up our day as badly. Last year we did two co-ops, one 20 min away and the other 30 or so. This year, most outside things are online, and she'll be leading a writing club once a month, 30 min away not too far from aikido that evening, and we'll hang out somewhere she can do work until time for aikido.

[Pen]

Stress over activities would certainly indicate being hurried.  Lack of ability to get good sleep (to me this is an important one even if the child wants to do the activity and does not seem to be stressed by it--because it is likely to affect health later on even if it seems to be fine at the time).  Activities driven by how they would look on a resume / college application rather than for the passion of it.  Activities driven by parental desires more than the child's desires.

[quark]

Sorry WMA, I'm reading posts too fast these days. I just realized that you asked about extracurricular passions.

[Woodland Mist Academy]

Sorry WMA, I'm reading posts too fast these days. I just realized that you asked about extracurricular passions.

I'm not sure what I'm asking! ;) I appreciate any and all thoughts. :)

 

Feel free to put your post back! I really appreciated it!

[Arcadia]

My kids are nowhere near high school age. I remember these kids activities from board threads. Definitely more boardies kids with time consuming passions than I listed below

Swimmermom3 sailing

Regentrude, Margaret in Co horseriding

Jenny in Florida dance & theatre

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/476066-is-this-just-nuts-time-management-and-extra-curriculars/?do=findComment&comment=5009928

Cakes's daughter dancing (think she is in 8th grade this year)

 

I am thinking you mentioned non-academic because ​it presents a well rounded vs "lop-sided" profile to the "outside world". I have been asked so many times what sport my kids participate in by strangers that I just tell them we swim because our condo has a lap pool :P

[Woodland Mist Academy]

Thanks, Arcadia!

[lewelma]

I'm not sure why I felt the need to specify nonacademic extracurriculars. Did I think academic ones happen in a vacuum and don't take up time and energy?  :confused1:  I can't remember now... Hmmm.... What exactly is a nonacademic extracurricular anyway? Maybe that whole concept is irrelevant to the discussion...

 

Thanks for the responses so far. I'm not quite sure what I'm thinking, but reading through the posts I feel better knowing I'm not the only one struggling...   I'm not sure what the goal is. What is a non-hurried child? Where is the line? Is it if the child is stressed? Is that what makes the child hurried? 

 

Still thinking and processing the posts...

 

The academic vs nonacademic distinction is quite tricky.  DS does 9 hours of music a week (4 hours of classes including a trio and string group and lessons) and 5ish hours of practice.  We are counting this as an academic subject to reduce his overall load.  

 

He also does 4 hours of martial arts and 5 hours of competitive badminton.  He does not *have* to be there, but is noticed if he is not.

 

During IMO training from February to April, he was doing about 15- 20 hours per week.  Although this is not nonacademic, it is similar in some regards to Donna's daughter.  However, the performances are much more boring to watch!  :lol:

 

Funny how the arts counts as nonacademic but STEM doesn't.  So people would consider ds's music to be nonacademic even though we are counting it as a subject.  IMO training he gets no credit for, but it is maths so not an EC exactly.  I think it is all in the mind of the counter.  :thumbup1:

 

Given that we count music, ds only takes 4 other classes: english, science, mandarin, and math.  But he gets through 3 maths classes per year. This gives him the 18 hours he needs for his ECs (if you count music, 9 hours if you don't).

 

As for the hurried child, I encourage my ds to get his work done in 6 hours and be done by 3pm; and he does none of his 'school' work on weekends.  This gives him the 18 hours he needs.  The balance is right, right now; but I am always on the lookout. I should also note that we live in the city, so ds walks to all his activities.  This means that I am out of the picture and don't have to be in charge of getting him there.

 

Ruth in NZ

[Arcadia]

Funny how the arts counts as nonacademic but STEM doesn't. So people would consider ds's music to be nonacademic even though we are counting it as a subject. IMO training he gets no credit for, but it is maths so not an EC exactly. I think it is all in the mind of the counter. :thumbup1:

My piano is counted as non academic but my Music class is. Band and Choir goes under extra curriculars on my secondary school transcript.

This is the syllabus for my GCE 'O' level music class

https://www.seab.gov.sg/content/syllabus/olevel/2015Syllabus/6085_2015.pdf

 

Science awards went under awards in my secondary (7-10th) and junior college (11-12th) transcripts while science clubs went under extracurriculars.

 

Singapore transcripts are very easy for form teachers to complete.

[lewelma]

Well, since we have exam-based entrance here, ECs don't really matter.  DS will take the ABRSM exams and do some NZ evaluations of his trio work to gain credit. Because he is taking grade 8 (the end of high school levels) in November, he will work on a post-secondary diploma in music through ABRSM over the next 2 years (10th and 11th).  So still academic, but yet not?   

 

Also, if DS goes to the IMO, and especially if he medals, I think it should count for more than just an EC. 

 

I understand WMA's dichotomy, but sometimes it just doesn't work.

[Arcadia]

Well, since we have exam-based entrance here, ECs don't really matter.

...

Because he is taking grade 8 in November, he will work on a post-secondary diploma in music through ABRSM over the next 2 years (10th and 11th).

Mine was exam based too which was why it was easy to know if I could get into certain faculties before applying. The ECs from 7-12th came in handy for job applications after graduating though :lol: The ECs on the resumes was used as an imperfect screening test for social skills before the interview rounds.

 

Which track is he intending to take for the ABRSM diploma in music?

[Donna]

Stress over activities would certainly indicate being hurried.  Lack of ability to get good sleep (to me this is an important one even if the child wants to do the activity and does not seem to be stressed by it--because it is likely to affect health later on even if it seems to be fine at the time).  Activities driven by how they would look on a resume / college application rather than for the passion of it.  Activities driven by parental desires more than the child's desires.

 

I know a high schooler who does multiple extracurricular activities every day and most of them are not things he cares about or wants to do but are done because his parents feel they would look good on a resume or just "look good"..."non-negotiables" according to his mother who then complains (in a "bragging" sort of way) because he is up until 2-3am doing homework then rising at 6am for school the next day. He doesn't have any time to devote entirely to any of the many things he is involved in. He misses rehearsals for this so he can do that and takes on more activities when they know he will miss rehearsals for something they committed to previously. Of six rehearsals for one thing, he misses 3 and is late to 2 then does not learn the material because he has no time to practice so other kids have to cover for him but he always makes the performances because it looks good to do those and no one watching will know the "behind the scenes" stuff going on. His mother gets mad because one teacher drops him for not practicing so she gets him two more teachers for the same thing. This is my example of a "hurried child."

 

If dd were in public school, she might feel hurried trying to fit in homework and practicing after school plus being on the road each weekend. With homeschooling, she has time to do school, practice, do crafts, and have down time almost every day to do whatever she chooses.

[deerforest]

DD has several extra-curricular passions, and they are all arts related. Her primary is circus arts, and I guess that's more of a combo of athletics and performance arts. She went to a circus sleep away camp this summer for 2 weeks, and also continued with one weekly class and biweekly private lessons over the summer. Once school starts she will have 2x weekly group lessons (1.5 hrs each) and anywhere between 1-5 (1 hr each) private lessons per week. She also practices at home and at open studios and does special workshops. If we had a larger circus school or broader availability of teachers, I would imagine that she would spend even more time. 

 

But, she also doesn't want to drop her weekly chorus group or clay class either.

 

I insist that she participates in one all-day outdoor program. She is also going to be volunteering at a preschool for a couple hours each week. 

 

Honestly, she's not a typical AL like many of the kids here. She's definitely gifted, but academics aren't her passion. It's fine because she's able to easily complete her work quickly and give herself plenty of time to focus on the more kinesthetic learning activities where she really blossoms.

[Chrysalis Academy]

Shannon's extracurricular passions are horseback riding and theater. Horseback riding is about 5-6 hours total, on two afternoons, each week.  Theater, of course, varies from 0 between shows to 20+ during tech week.  Which is only bearable because it just happens a few times a year! I've always been happy that she's been happy to stick to the two. It's felt unhurried, although of course there is some performance-related stress, but I think stress about a specific thing you are trying to achieve, and time-limited, isn't all bad.

 

My problem is that as she's getting older, I realize how much we rely on these extracurriculars for her social/friend time, too.  This fall the theater group is doing a ridiculous, very young show that she isn't interested in, so she won't do theater till January. So we are left with this gaping hole, social time wise. She's going to sign up for a community choir, which will meet 2 hours a week with a few local performances.  I know she will enjoy the singing part, but I'm a little worried about the social needs part.

[Pen]

I know a high schooler who does multiple extracurricular activities every day and most of them are not things he cares about or wants to do but are done because his parents feel they would look good on a resume or just "look good"..."non-negotiables" according to his mother who then complains (in a "bragging" sort of way) because he is up until 2-3am doing homework then rising at 6am for school the next day. He doesn't have any time to devote entirely to any of the many things he is involved in. He misses rehearsals for this so he can do that and takes on more activities when they know he will miss rehearsals for something they committed to previously. Of six rehearsals for one thing, he misses 3 and is late to 2 then does not learn the material because he has no time to practice so other kids have to cover for him but he always makes the performances because it looks good to do those and no one watching will know the "behind the scenes" stuff going on. His mother gets mad because one teacher drops him for not practicing so she gets him two more teachers for the same thing. This is my example of a "hurried child."

 

 

 

 

That sounds like a good example!  Though it might not need to be that extreme.

[nobeatenpath]

At the moment it is only ballet, and that is only 2 hours a week plus daily practice and stretching, but classes are  on the weekend which means it chews in to 'family time'. But since there are so few chances for Willem to 'socialise' here we are more than willing to make the sacrifice.

What he would love to do is dedicate time to part-apprenticing with a craftsman, but unfortunately the language barrier is just too much for now. Perhaps in the future there will be a chance. I would be happy for him to sacrifice some academics if he could spend time working and watching with a craft he loved.

 

[Pen]

I'm not sure what I'm asking! ;) I appreciate any and all thoughts. :)

 

Feel free to put your post back! I really appreciated it!

 

 

I am not sure exactly what you are asking either!  But I think in my mind when I think about Extracurricular Passions, I have in mind things that are probably not going to be related to eventual work, but may be part of permanent avocational enjoyment.

 

For example, when I was in around 5th grade a friend of mine loved cello.  At that time it could have been considered at least semi "academic" since she played in the school orchestra, but for purposes of this sort of discussion, I think I would consider it to fit EC passion.  She did not major in music in college nor do anything with that as a profession, but she kept playing for her own enjoyment and became part of an amateur orchestra through which she met her husband.  I have lost touch with her, but when I last was in contact, they were both part of a small chamber music group and played together at home. It was an important part of joy and passion in a well balanced life.  She may have initially been pushed into taking cello lessons ( I do not know how that started as she was already quite good when I first met her), but it was part of her own life passion and love, not something she did for how it looked on paper--though I am sure it did look good on paper also.  She devoted enough time to that that as I recall it was only ever really her one EC passion.  And I guess including practice time, performances etc. was probably along the lines of someone here's (Donna?)'s dd with violin/fiddle.

 

ETA I think her choice was better than some of mine which did not so much lend themselves to continuing with them for a lifelong interest (soccer, for example...I guess there are some middle aged women playing soccer, but I am certainly not one).  And I have tried to interest my son in such things where I have had input.  If he chooses activities that are more likely to be only of the moment as a kid that is okay too, but the ones I have been more eager about are the ones that seem to me that they have long term potential.

[lewelma]

Mine was exam based too which was why it was easy to know if I could get into certain faculties before applying. The ECs from 7-12th came in handy for job applications after graduating though :lol: The ECs on the resumes was used as an imperfect screening test for social skills before the interview rounds.

 

Which track is he intending to take for the ABRSM diploma in music?

 

He will take the LRSM. I don't know much about it, just that his teacher has put his last 2 students through it, and one of them just won the chamber music competition for the entire country. So it must be a pretty good program.

 

I like the idea that ECs can be considered screening for social skills.  That is a very interesting way to view them.  What I would really like ds to do is to either volunteer or get a small job before he heads off to university.  I'm thinking that tutoring in violin, math, or science might be the best option as either a volunteer or for pay, but currently he is not interested. Perhaps when he is 16 or 17.

 

The competitive badminton is a new thing and he is liking it very much.  Unfortunately he has sprained his ankle twice in 3 months.  

[lewelma]

I am not sure exactly what you are asking either!  But I think in my mind when I think about Extracurricular Passions, I have in mind things that are probably not going to be related to eventual work, but may be part of permanent avocational enjoyment.

 

This is definitely how my ds views his violin.  As some of you may know, he made a very conscious decision 2.5 years ago, to stop focusing on music and start focusing on maths.  But his violin is his other passion.  He plucks it all. day. long.  He simply holds it on his lap and plucks while he is doing his math or reading his physics or reading his novel.  It drives me n.u.t.s!  He will not be a violinist for a job, but he will always play for his own enjoyment and I expect he will stay in an informal chamber group for a good portion of his life.  At this point, I cannot imagine who he would be without his violin.  So based on your definition, Pen, his violin is definitely an EC, even though we are using it for credit. 

 

Ruth in NZ

[Woodland Mist Academy]

   I should also note that we live in the city, so ds walks to all his activities.  This means that I am out of the picture and don't have to be in charge of getting him there.

 

Ruth in NZ

 

What a difference that must make! I cannot even imagine! Thanks for including that oh so important detail. Our EC's involve an hour round trip drive or longer. It rarely makes sense for me to return home while she's there because I would then be driving during rush hour and would be in the car 2.5-3 hours total for the day. Obviously yours is a very different scenario...  

 

The devil is in the details...

[Woodland Mist Academy]

 

If dd were in public school, she might feel hurried trying to fit in homework and practicing after school plus being on the road each weekend. With homeschooling, she has time to do school, practice, do crafts, and have down time almost every day to do whatever she chooses.

 

We've been discussing this recently - the difference between free time and down time.  She needs to understand if she spends her free time doing lots of activities, she can't skip home responsibilities to have down time. If she wants more down time, she needs to factor that in to how she spends her free time.

 

I hope that makes sense.

[lewelma]

What a difference that must make! I cannot even imagine! Thanks for including that oh so important detail. Our EC's involve an hour round trip drive or longer. It rarely makes sense for me to return home while she's there because I would then be driving during rush hour and would be in the car 2.5-3 hours total for the day. Obviously yours is a very different scenario...  

 

The devil is in the details...

 

Well, I'm glad I thought to include it! It is so hard to know what questions to ask or what details to include.

 

 It takes him:

 

30 minutes each way to walk to badminton 2x per week.

15 minutes each way for martial arts 2x per week

30 minutes each way for string group and chamber music group 1x per week (they are at same location back to back)

I drive him to music lessons which are 15 minutes away.

 

So his commute time (walking) is 4 hours per week.  and mine is 30 minutes plus sitting in the car for 2 hours (I do physics!)

 

He would rather walk than bike as the city streets are a bit hard to navigate safely, and badminton is up and over a hill through the woods or through a stinky tunnel! He would rather walk in the woods (these are the woods that are in multiple scenes in the Lord of the Rings so kind of pretty!)  

[Woodland Mist Academy]

I am not sure exactly what you are asking either!  But I think in my mind when I think about Extracurricular Passions, I have in mind things that are probably not going to be related to eventual work, but may be part of permanent avocational enjoyment.

 

Yes!

Thanks for helping me find words for some of my thoughts! 

[lewelma]

We've been discussing this recently - the difference between free time and down time.  She needs to understand if she spends her free time doing lots of activities, she can't skip home responsibilities to have down time. If she wants more down time, she needs to factor that in to how she spends her free time.

 

I hope that makes sense.

 

Oh I like this!  Will use it with ds.  I've noticed he has been a bit slack in his chores this month because he is 'busy.' 

[Woodland Mist Academy]

Well, I'm glad I thought to include it! It is so hard to know what questions to ask or what details to include.

 

 It takes him:

 

30 minutes each way to walk to badminton 2x per week.

15 minutes each way for martial arts 2x per week

30 minutes each way for string group and chamber music group 1x per week (they are at same location back to back)

I drive him to music lessons which are 15 minutes away.

 

So his commute time (walking) is 4 hours per week.  and mine is 30 minutes plus sitting in the car for 2 hours (I do physics!)

 

He would rather walk than bike as the city streets are a bit hard to navigate safely, and badminton is up and over a hill through the woods or through a stinky tunnel! He would rather walk in the woods (these are the woods that are in multiple scenes in the Lord of the Rings so kind of pretty!)  

So he gets lots of fresh air, time in nature, and exercise during his commutes. A win in so many ways! 

[lewelma]

So he gets lots of fresh air, time in nature, and exercise during his commutes. A win in so many ways! 

He is definitely more fit now with 5 hours badminton and 2 hours walking to get there and back!  Plus, I'm gone when he has to get organised, so I don't have to watch the rushing around part.  And I don't have to nag.  Plus, best of all it is only about $200 per year! 

[Woodland Mist Academy]

So he gets lots of fresh air, time in nature, and exercise during his commutes. A win in so many ways! 

 

I just remembered something I posted a few weeks ago in an effort to view our commutes in a more positive light...how quickly I forget...

 

The commute time is when we plan to listen to the Great Courses Literature lectures. I'm almost positive we wouldn't sit and listen to them at home. The drive times are also often like mini road trips with lots of talking. The drives home are often particularly meaningful - maybe it's the quiet dark falling... 

 

I'm feeling much better about the commutes since remembering that. Now just to sort out the rest of what I'm thinking...

[Woodland Mist Academy]

He is definitely more fit now with 5 hours badminton and 2 hours walking to get there and back!  Plus, I'm gone when he has to get organised, so I don't have to watch the rushing around part.  And I don't have to nag.  Plus, best of all it is only about $200 per year! 

 

:svengo:

 

Decisions would be so much easier if that were the case in my situation!!

[deerforest]

I try really hard not to think about how much time and money we spend supporting her desire to run away with the circus. 

 

A remarkable number of local circus people are scientists of some sort at their day job and do gigs and teaching on the side, and that's kinda what she wants to do if professional circus doesn't work out.  :biggrinjester:

 

So, not sure it's really extra-curricular for her or not, after all.

[Woodland Mist Academy]

I try really hard not to think about how much time and money we spend supporting her desire to run away with the circus. 

 

 

:lol:  :smilielol5:  :laugh:   

[quark]

He would rather walk in the woods (these are the woods that are in multiple scenes in the Lord of the Rings so kind of pretty!)  

 

Ruth, I would gladly swap living places with you just for that! :drool5: LMK if you are ever tempted! :D

 

 

 

The commute time is when we plan to listen to the Great Courses Literature lectures. I'm almost positive we wouldn't sit and listen to them at home. The drive times are also often like mini road trips with lots of talking. The drives home are often particularly meaningful - maybe it's the quiet dark falling...

 

This is how I console myself too. We'll have about 6 hours commute time in the fall. That's about 12 lectures a week, or 9 lectures and 3-ish hours of total discussion time.

 

Our history and literature are unschooled this way...and it's very enjoyable too.

[lewelma]

This is his walk to badminton:

 

https://www.google.co.nz/search?q=get+off+the+road&rlz=1CAHPZT_enNZ649NZ650&espv=2&biw=1366&bih=657&site=webhp&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0CAYQ_AUoAWoVChMIorn4puKnxwIVRR2mCh3VuQDO

 

I've never lived on a movie set before.  :001_smile:

[lewelma]

 

 

 

This is how I console myself too. We'll have about 6 hours commute time in the fall. That's about 12 lectures a week, or 9 lectures and 3-ish hours of total discussion time.

 

Our history and literature are unschooled this way...and it's very enjoyable too.

 

Imagine how much you will get done!!  I keep trying to send ds with a lecture in his ears during his 4 hours in walking commute, but he is not interested!  He complains about being bored, though.   

[Arcadia]

I keep trying to send ds with a lecture in his ears during his 4 hours in walking commute, but he is not interested! He complains about being bored, though.

Does he like photography? I would take photos of roadside flowering plants and interesting architecture as I take a 4km stroll while kids were at class.

 

ETA:

I have an ex-classmate in civil engineering who is a air force fighter pilot and freelance wedding photographer while an undergrad on air force scholarship.

[Pen]

I think that freetime/downtime distinction is important.  And I think my ds needs more of both than some kids do.

 

What I'd written before about his 2 activities not overlapping turned out as of yesterday to be not wholly true since the fall to spring activity just opened while the summer one is reaching its most intense time.  That seemed to be pushing things to the "too much" level, even where it was just a matter of ds needing to talk to me about his schedule for the fall to spring one and give a call to his coach and start getting his equipment ready

 

I think we need to work on time management this next year.

[Dmmetler]

That's actually the biggest reason why I'm nervous about DD's plans to do an EEP of some form for high school. She really, really seems to need a lot of downtime to recharge,and while I know that she craves a peer group, I'm afraid that the extra time will be too much for her to keep the other stuff she loves-like the education and advocacy side of her snake work, which is pretty time consuming, as well as her cheer/tumbling (which aren't a passion, but she enjoys them and they serve a sensory need) and piano (again, not a passion, but is one of her major stress reducing activities and something she enjoys).

 

 

[Woodland Mist Academy]

I've been doing lots of thinking and mulling over the posts. Thanks again, everyone! I wanted to respond to more of the posts, but haven't had a chance to yet.

 

The situation seems to boil down to a big mix of money, time, teen needs and wants, parental needs and wants, downtime vs. free time, and the reality that we sometimes don't really know what will make us happiest. What if what we think is freeing will, in reality, weigh us down? What if the opposite is true? What if what we think is a time sucking activity will, in truth, give us wings?

[quark]

I've been doing lots of thinking and mulling over the posts. Thanks again, everyone! I wanted to respond to more of the posts, but haven't had a chance to yet.

 

The situation seems to boil down to a big mix of money, time, teen needs and wants, parental needs and wants, downtime vs. free time, and the reality that we sometimes don't really know what will make us happiest. What if what we think is freeing will, in reality, weigh us down? What if the opposite is true? What if what we think is a time sucking activity will, in truth, give us wings?

 

Please take only what works as we are in all probability, dealing with different situations and interests.

My rules of thumb...

1. Follow intuition in finding best classes/ teachers/ use of time -- kiddo lives further away from most of his friends and so we don't share classes with them and don't have an immediate community to turn to for reviews, so sometimes we just have to take the risk!

2. Affordability comes first for 2 main reasons...well, we are just naturally cheap lol and we try to teach kiddo the value of money, when to spend etc and want that lesson to be current and true for the decisions we ourselves make for him. He is now quite aware of cost of classes etc and will himself pipe up to say if he thinks a class is too expensive...yes, maybe he will miss out on a better class by doing this but it is the long term value of him recognizing where and how to spend money that I see as a benefit. We have other dependents and don't have a lot of it to spare AND make sure he gets the college education he deserves so we are saving wherever we can right now.

3. Kiddo's needs...is the class truly a benefit...we usually make pros and cons lists but sometimes we also just give it a try because well, you never know right? But we make sure we choose carefully first...for me downtime and exercise are really important because his interests are all academic in nature and it's very easy for us to get carried away with that

4. He is not driving or willing to take public transportation for now...he is just too sensitive to what he perceives as dangerous situations and until I can gradually wean him away from these feelings to some extent, *I* have to take hours from my own time to drive him there, wait for him etc. So *my* needs definitely come into play as well. If it wears me out, makes me sick, etc. there are long term repercussions on him and I don't think even some of the best classes here are worth that.

5. My experience so far is that even the really good classes are diluted in some way, unless you manage to find that gem of a teacher who is so passionate about teaching that nothing else matters. We had one teacher like that and despite our move we tried to keep up with classes with him and it started to lead to point number 4 above where it totally wore me out...I still mourn having to give him up but well, I guess that's life.

 

We make good overthinkers don't we? :D

 

 

[Woodland Mist Academy]

 

We make good overthinkers don't we? :D

 

Quite so!  :cheers2:

 

Thanks so much for your post! I think I need to set up a similar flow to give structure to my worries  thoughts.  ;)   That will be my goal for the evening. I'll use yours a template and adjust as needed. Thanks!

[lewelma]

Quark, I don't think you are overthinking.  I think you hit it spot on. 

 

The me factor is pretty important to me. :lol:   So if the kids want an extra activity, and they can get there on their own, then I'm pretty much ok with it.  So ds(11) can get to soccer by bus and to shop/home ec by train (after walking 30 minutes to the train station).  I know you guys don't have that luxury so it is a lot harder for you. For the 3 activities that I do drive to and then wait, I really use the waiting time.  I've got 2 hours during gymnastics and 2 hours during music lessons, and I bring a huge backpack full of my homework.  I make sure to leave my phone at home so I am not temped to play. :tongue_smilie:  The 2 hours I spend at homeschool swimming is where I catch up with my friends.  So I definitely see the drive/wait time a time *I* use, so it is not just about them.

 

I really like your idea about having ds evaluate if the cost is worth the experience.  I have not done that yet, and need to get on it. Great idea! 

[deerforest]

I'm jealous of 11-year-olds walking to activities on their own! DD is a long way from that, and we're not located near anything that would enable her to do that even if her confidence would.

 

Absolutely nothing about DD's activities is convenient for us. DH and I both work full time. I'm a full-time telecommuter, and I have a vision disorder that prevents me from driving. We also live about 10-15 minutes from the closest activity. So, it's all on DH to drop her off places. We do some limited carpooling, but our neighborhood isn't super convenient. Luckily his job is flexible, and he is often driving amongst his company's 3 sites, and her activities are mostly within that triangulated zone. So, he can drop her off and go to work down the street for a few hours. However, it means that she just doesn't get to do most things that other homeschoolers do because it doesn't work with our work schedules.

 

We have had nothing but disappointing experiences thus far with local academic classes. So, we've completely given up on them. Within our schedule and location limitations, our extra-curricular guidelines are roughly: does it dramatically increase her skill set; does it fulfill some significant social need; is it something she absolutely can't learn on her own or from us. 

[quark]

I make sure to leave my phone at home so I am not temped to play. :tongue_smilie: 

 

Thanks Ruth. Your leaving phone at home idea is really what I wish to achieve...for me, the kindle app is such a huge temptation and how I've been using my waiting time but this semester I have a class of my own and some part time work to finish as well. Will have to bring both laptop and phone to be plugged in, and I hope I can be as disciplined with temptations! :laugh:

 

I really want to get my guy independent about taking a walk/ train/ bus to classes. Walking is hard here with everything being miles and miles away (a shock for us when we moved here because we lived in Asia without a car). But bus and train is definitely do-able and he just can't get over his queasiness about it. Maybe I need to trust him with that but I sure do wish he wasn't so worried. DH and I have offered to take the bus/train with him and he is still reluctant. Some day we'll just do it, I guess.

[regentrude]

DD rode horses. In 9 and 10 th grade, she would spent 20+ hours at the barn.

She sang in choir. Rock climbed and hiked with us. Tutored physics because she loved it.

We always emphasized that high school years are valuable life time and too important to do stuff just to look good on a resume - we encouraged her to do what she loves, and we'd then think about a way to package what she did.

 

DS spends a lot of time on Martial Arts. Four days a week, he has two hours of class (Judo and TKD) in town. One day a week we travel to the city, 100 miles away, for training and classes in two other disciplines; this outing takes up seven hours total. In addition, he trains on his own and with a friend. So, easily upwards of 20 hours. Plus tournaments.