Should we even continue gymnastics?

[JumpyTheFrog]

Okay, I went to the new gym and talked to the coach and two moms. It looks like a much better place...but it is more expensive and would eat up a lot more time since it is too far away to drop them off and come home. Plus the boys wouldn't have practice the same night. Having Tigger do the team there (between the practice and driving) would eat up 3 hours on Monday night, 4 hours Tuesday and Thursday nights, and 4 hours Saturday morning. Letting Little Guy do it would add 2 1/2 hours on Wednesday night.

 

I read a blog post recently about dumping good activities in your life to make room for the great ones. The question is, is gymnastics the great one or a good one? Little Guy sounds equally interested in basketball and soccer as gymnastics and they are both much, much cheaper. Tigger is an extremely energetic kid, which is why we let him do the team for the last two years despite the time and cost. Now we are wondering if we could reclaim more of our life by letting him do soccer through the town and taking them to the park for tennis, sprints, pushups, and planks.

 

Gymnastics is great for Tigger...but it seems like this new gym would make it unbalanced for our family.

 

It's a hard decision, but I'm trying to tell myself maybe we should do a two month experiment where we do this other stuff and not gymnastics and then if it seems like a mistake, we sign him up and he still has enough time to get ready for the first meet in November.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I would do the experiment you suggested at the end.  It will show you if just having good hard exercise (which he would get in these other sports) is all he needs.  

[poppy]

15 hours a week dedicated to a 9 year old's recreation is too much, especially if a good hunk of it is car time.  I would try to find an alternative.

[mom2scouts]

Gymnastics is a sport that only increases in time and cost involved. It's very unlikely that you'll have both boys training at the same time. If your child is passionate about the sport, I would stay.  If the boys would be just has happy doing something else, you should do something else.

[KungFuPanda]

Absolutely not! Usually these threads have me torn because they inevitable involve a kid who LIVES for the sport and that has to be weighed against sanity and budgeting for the entire family. Your kids sound like they'd be just as happy elsewhere as long as they're active. In fact, they may be happier to not sit in the car so much. This is an easy call.

[bettyandbob]

No you don't need to continue. 

 

If your one ds does better with a lot focused fitness time, you can look for nearby more convenient options, classes both kids can take or classes that run at the same time in the same place. 

 

I'd pull out the fall schedules for local parks, community centers, martial arts programs, dance programs. the YMCA, etc. Compare them all 

--do any have mixed aged classes

--do any have homeschool classes (mixed aged, day time, discount fee)

--do any have classes of different types or for different ages running at the same time (or overlapping)

--check out the ballet studio and see if classes are heavily discounted for boys (this true at many studios, but not advertised)

 

One year my kids did a program at the Y for homeschoolers it had 45 minutes of gym class games and 45 minutes of swimming instruction. counting changing time it was 1 hour 45 minutes. If you did not need to help your child in the locker room, you merely had to remain in the building--so I got to go workout, awesome!

 

Another year at the same Y, my dd did their year old swim team 3 days a week, older ds did TKD 3 days a week at the same time, younger ds was a happy in the check in play area with crafts and bounce house, and I got to go work out. Awesome again. 

 

Figure out schedules that will work for you and involve the kids in the class options. Consider everything that fits your schedule and financial limits. You don't have to just look at soccer, unless they really want that. 

[lmrich]

This is when we quit gymnastics. DD made the team, and, at the time, it was too much for us. Now she is a serious dancer and is in the studio a lot, but she is older which makes things easier. 

[JumpyTheFrog]

If your child is passionate about the sport, I would stay. If the boys would be just has happy doing something else, you should do something else.

Little Guy would probably be just as happy doing something else. I'm not sure about Tigger. One thing I've noticed is that no matter how hard they worked out, he never complains about it, and he tends to be kinda complainy and negative. He also always seemed very happy after practice.

 

One thing I like about gymnastics is the attention to detail it demands. Tigger tends to be oblivious and maybe even has ADD and a book I read once about exercise and brain health really recommended gymnastics and martial arts for ADHD patients. We have done tae kwon do in the past and he didn't like it nearly as much.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I would drop it.  That would be too much for me for something like that.  I'd look for something else. 

 

 

[bettyandbob]

Swimming is also a good full body exercise that is good for ADHD--heavy endurance work is good for this. It helped my kids. 

[JumpyTheFrog]

I'd pull out the fall schedules for local parks, community centers, martial arts programs, dance programs. the YMCA, etc.

I've done this already. Unfortunately, it seems like there aren't too many serious fitness things available for both a 6 and 9 year old. The next town over has a cross country team Tigger could do, but nothing for Little Guy. On the other hand, Little Guy doesn't *need* to be worked hard like Tigger, so maybe it doesn't matter as much.

[Annie G]

I think your struggle is partly due to the different ages and different needs of your kids.  Tigger sounds like he really thrives with serious exercise and yet the boys are far enough apart in age that they won't have classes together no matter what activity you choose. 

 

It might be time to let your kids choose different activities, even if they don't even out as far as time commitment and cost.  Life is like that sometimes. Tigger is older and seems to be more in need of real training, while Little Guy is young enough that recreational dabbling might be just what he needs. 

 

We've been where you are- an older sibling had a talent and a desire to ramp up the activity but the younger sibling was just being dragged along. Younger was not ready for team, too young to have classes together...it was a pain.  Letting her choose her own activity was a pain because it had us involved in two different things, but it turned out to be awful for just a few short years.g

[bettyandbob]

I've done this already. Unfortunately, it seems like there aren't too many serious fitness things available for both a 6 and 9 year old. The next town over has a cross country team Tigger could do, but nothing for Little Guy. On the other hand, Little Guy doesn't *need* to be worked hard like Tigger, so maybe it doesn't matter as much.

 

Find the serious exercise options for older ds. Then, look at what's nearby library?, trampoline or play place where you could get a pass for your younger ds? Say older ds is doing something 3 days a week. I'd try to find an overlapping activity once a week for the younger, then try to find a place to play during a second practice and during the third I'd using the time to read aloud or work on learning to read in a quiet area near whatever facility your older is attending. 

 

The reason why the Y was awesome was could I could match the varying needs of my kids at the same time. But that only worked a couple of years. You just have to figure out how to get the most efficient use of the time when your older is getting what he needs. 

[speedmom4]

Gymnastics has been a wonderful sport for my active 13 year old son. He is a level 9 gymnast. He started at age 6. He loved gymnastics from the very beginning. He has always been a very very active kid. If we had not homeschooled I believe a public school would have wanted him medicated. Gymnastics has taught him perseverance and the value of hard work. His coach is from China and believes in hard work and respect. I'm very thankful for his influence on my son's life.

 

It sounds like this may be the right sport for your older son but the younger one could take it or leave it. Maybe you could do a trial run with just your older son in gymnastics and see if that makes a difference.

 

Good luck!

[SKL]

Is there any possible halfway solution?  That does sound like too much time for one activity.  Do you really have to go that many times each week?  What about 2x per week for Tigger and find something else for your other son?

 

If you decide to do it, you may be able to find ways to multi-task during those hours, or possibly come up with an alternative transportation solution for some days.

 

Where I live, the closest gym is almost a half hour away.  We used to go there 3x per week, but I had both kids in all the same activities, and I could bring my laptop and work while I waited.  When there was more than an hour between drop-off and pick-up, I could do some shopping.  There are also nearby exercise options for adults, though I never tried that.  I keep telling myself I'm going to take a walk during that time, but so far I haven't done that either.  Another option I've sometimes used is to pay a college student to drive them here and there, so I can stay home and work without interruption.  Many families in my kids' sports get together and work out carpooling arrangements so each mom doesn't have to be at every practice.  So maybe, with some thought, you could figure out an arrangement that would make sense for you.

 

Personally I would put in the effort to try to figure out a compromise solution.  It might not work out in the end, but then again, it might.  Let your son know that it is not certain that he will continue.  Possibly he will help you come up with a solution that works.

[Momto4Js123]

I agree with your 2 month trial. Especially if your kids are willing to try other activities. 

Our 2nd oldest (we have 4) has done competitive cheer since age 4. It has been a huge sacrifice for our entire family, however it is her thing and her whole life- and totally worth it. BUT, if she was not 100% sold on it, we would be done. Try other things- you can always, always go back! 

 

[Dmmetler]

I'd also suggest calling cheer gyms. Many have tumbling classes many, many times during the week (and often have a plan where you pay one fee and can come as many times as you wish). Even if he's not interested in cheer as a sport, it may be a way for him to get some of gymnastics, but without the long drive. And if he IS interested in a team, boys are highly desired, often get scholarships to train, and everyone I know of who has had a scholarship for college cheer is male (and basically al of DD's tumbling and assistant cheer coaches have been competitive cheerleaders for the local university, which has a highly ranked team).

 

At least around here, there are FAR more cheer gyms with co-Ed teams than gymnastics gyms with boys' teams.

[Guest]

Yup! Check out co ed cheer classes. Lots of tumbling, very fun!

[Mandamom]

What about carpools? We are dependent on carpools for my dd gymnast. We never could have done the sport with out one. 

 

Just a thought. 

[JumpyTheFrog]

I told the boys yesterday that they wouldn't be continuing gymnastics. Little Guy seems fine with it. Tigger said today that perhaps in the next year J will quit and he can return to his old gym. I didn't bother to tell him that we are done with the old gym regardless of what J does.

 

I am trying to get started in a new career and need several hour blocks of time to learn the new skills involved. Staying at the gym during practice would give me plenty of time to work. For now, I'm going to see if it's possible without that schedule. (Tigger doesn't know that we are really trying a month or two without gymnastics. We didn't want him to know there is still a possibility of starting at the new gym if the other activities don't work out.) I am concerned that not having the stricter schedule "forced" on me will make "work expand to the time allotted," if you know what I mean.

[Mommy22alyns]

The kid has to be passionate about gymnastics if you are going to invest the time and money into being competitive.  And just because one child does gymnastics doesn't necessarily mean the other has to as well.  Sylvia did gymnastics for a while because she requested it, but she quit a few years ago because she didn't like it nearly as much as Rebecca.

 

Are you certain that taking 2 months off, he could definitely have enough training to compete in November?  Have you discussed this with the potential new coach?

 

Families and kids are all different, and you can't make a blanket statement that x number of hours per week for x age child is always wrong.  Some kids thrive with it and others don't.  For us personally, Rebecca eats, sleeps, and breathes gymnastics.  We're not pushing her, she's dragging us.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Dd loved gymnastics.  She was good at gymnastics.  We couldn't afford gymnastics.  The gym offered her a scholarship - a very generous offer.  But it wasn't enough and I am not well enough to work at the gym etc. like some other moms do to pay off some of the fees.  I felt so terribly guilty about making her quit. when she was about 9  (I'm not sure on the age.  I  posted about it here a couple of times and could probably go back and check but it really isn't that important.)  She was really sad.  Now she's at an age where she could take gymnastics at the local public school.  And she doesn't want to.  She discovered swimming.  And she loves it.  And she is good at it.  And she discovered running.  And she loves it.  And she's good at it.  I'm happy because both of those cost so much less in time and money than gymnastics!  Plus, she's not getting injured like she was in gymnastics.  

[J-rap]

I'm not sure the age of your child.  We probably wouldn't have/couldn't have done something like this with our oldest.  Our two youngest were singers and were offered an opportunity in a choir 2.5 hours away.  We drove there once a week, and it took up our time from 3:00 to about midnight on that day.  We did it because they were the last ones home, and one of them was on her way to becoming a professional singer so this seemed like a good opportunity.

 

Otherwise, I don't know if I would do that. 

[JumpyTheFrog]

Are you certain that taking 2 months off, he could definitely have enough training to compete in November?  Have you discussed this with the potential new coach?

 

Families and kids are all different, and you can't make a blanket statement that x number of hours per week for x age child is always wrong.  Some kids thrive with it and others don't.  For us personally, Rebecca eats, sleeps, and breathes gymnastics.  We're not pushing her, she's dragging us.

 

No, I haven't discussed it with the new coach. I don't want to get anyone's hopes up in case we decide not to send Tigger when the trial is up. I am going to encourage both of them to do some conditioning with me for "fun." Yesterday in between my sets of planks and pushups Tigger was practicing his straddle press handstands and handstand pushups. Then my 6 year old shocked me by doing two handstand pushups against the wall. I had no idea he had gotten so much stronger from three months of practicing with the team two nights per week.

 

All of Tigger's boinging around the house is reminding me of why I put him in rec classes to begin with 3 1/2 years ago. Even if he doesn't continue after the trial I think he will continue to spend much of the time doing "tricks" and practicing his skills.

[JumpyTheFrog]

The boys are signed up for soccer, but it doesn't start for two weeks. I can't sign them up for anything else until the soccer schedule comes out. Little Guy wants to do tennis as well. Tigger wants to do a Lego League type class and archery (which is only once a month). I was really surprised that out of the pages of activities available this fall he didn't want to try anything else. (He does sound interested in pole vaulting or other field events, but as far as I can tell, the local track teams for kids his age only do the running, not the field events.) 

 

Now I need to figure out how to fill all this new free time up. He's a kid that is happier and better behaved if he's kept busy. For one day I thought not moving to the new gym was the right choice, but now it feels like we will might up going there after all. I think DH and I need to make a list of which benefits are most important to us for sports because we can't have all of the following:

 

• convenient to us as drivers
• convenient/comfortable for us while we wait at the activity
• low cost
• regular schedule
• teaches him to pay careful attention
• improved strength, coordination, flexibility, and overall fitness
• keeps him busy, well behaved, and happy
• teaches him persistence
• gives him confidence

[SJ.]

What level would your oldest son be competing at if he were to go back to gymnastics?  I ask because at our gym it isn't until level 7 or 8 that the boys practice for 10 hours a week, 15 sounds excessive for a nine year old.  The coaches understand how easy it is to get burnt out doing competitive gymnastics and since boys peak later than girls they do not want to overwork them at the younger ages and lower levels.  They also will work out compromises and some of the boys do not attend every class with a discount on their tuition.  It seems to work since every year the graduating seniors go on to do gymnastics in college with scholarships.

 

During the two month break I recommend working on flexibility - all three splits and shoulders.  You can also have him do pullups, dips, v-ups, and get/make a set of paralletes to work static holds, handstands, handstand pushups, etc.

 

ETA:

Here is a conditioning workout the boys' coach gave me for them to do during vacation:

 

1.) All splits - 1 min

2.) Pike seat while squeezing legs with emphasis on pointed toes - 1 min

3.) press handstand (if possible)

4.) Hollow hold - 1 min

5.) Arch hold - 1 min

6.) Squat-straight jumps - 45 sec

7.) Push ups - 50 reps

[JumpyTheFrog]

What level would your oldest son be competing at if he were to go back to gymnastics?  I ask because at our gym it isn't until level 7 or 8 that the boys practice for 10 hours a week, 15 sounds excessive for a nine year old.  

 

At the old gym last season he was level 5 and did 9 hours per week. In May that got bumped up to 12 hours per week. If we continue at the new gym, it would be 11 hours per week for level 5 or 6. At the old gym there were 5-10 boys practicing together (depending on the day) and at the new gym they currently have two level 5 boys and one level 4 boy. (The gym just opened to the public in the spring so they don't have a large team yet.) So at the new gym there would be less standing around.

 

Does your son's gym have smaller groups of boys at practice? Or do they have more days of practice for shorter times? I get the impression that this number of hours is fairly normal in our state. Of course, that doesn't make it ideal. I'm sure a lot depends on the coaches and how well they use their time.

 

Thanks for the suggestion of paralletes. We have a mushroom but no paralletes. They are a good idea. He's been working on his straddle press handstand on the floor and has trouble figuring out how to not catch his feet on the way up. Maybe having a set would make it easier for him to work on the motion and build up the strength while he figures out what to do with his feet.

 

We'll keep working on flexibility. I need to get more flexible myself so I have been doing some stretching with both of them.

[SJ.]

Our level 4 boys practice 4.5 - 6 hours a week, level 5 practices 6-8 hours, and level 6 practices 10 hours.  Practices are two hours long.  The number of boys varies, I would say average is about 6-8 boys in a class.  If you decide to go back to gymnastics and 15 hours is too much for your family I would talk to the coaches about it, perhaps you could work out a different schedule.  

 

Good luck!  I wish I had advice on the handstand, I am betting with practice and time he will get it.

SJ

[Nart]

Do you have any indoor climbing gyms around? My boys loved being on the pre-team climbing club. They did it for 6 months before the oldest dedicated even more time to soccer. It is great for upper body strength and flexibility. They both were really sweaty when they finished.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Do either of the gyms have "open gym" times?  Usually it is very inexpensive and kids can use some of the apparatus (but not ones that need spotting).  

[3andme]

At our gym, level 5's do 12 hours a wk (4 days x 3 hr/day) during the school year and 16 during the summer. Level 4's do 9 hours and Level 6's do 14 hours a week during the school year. We have about 4-5 boys in level 4 and 5-6 in the higher levels who work out together. 

 

[JumpyTheFrog]

Do either of the gyms have "open gym" times?  Usually it is very inexpensive and kids can use some of the apparatus (but not ones that need spotting).  

 

Yes, the new gym has it for two hours 3 days per week. The coach said that kids attending can ask the circulating coaches for some help or to spot them. Strangely enough, the old gym had all sorts of rules not allowing things for open gym time (even by the gymnasts), despite the coach's response to my concerns about team behavior (as discussed on the other thread).

 

Maybe I should take the boys to open gym time. It might give me a chance to see how they do with the new coach (if he is there). If he has some magical ability to help Tigger get better in areas that have confounded his previous coaches, that will be a motivator to continue.