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Random Mother's Day/Father's Day Question


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So, this year for Mother's day, my kiddos and I baked some cookies and we all made homemade cards and mailed them to my mom.  For Father's day, we all made book marks and I laminated them and we all made homemade cards and mailed them off too.  I never thought twice about this, but when I had the chance to sit and chat with my mom (we don't live nearby, so this was the next time we saw each other) she was a bit snide and commented that there is such a thing as grandparents day and that on mother's day or father's day it wasn't appropriate (I made up that word..I forgot exactly what she said) for the grandkids to be sending gifts.  Or something like that.  I honestly can't quite remember, but the sentiment was that I shouldn't be sending gifts from the kids on mother's day or father's day.  They should be just from me and or my husband. 

 

:huh:  :huh:  :huh:

 

To be honest, I never thought about it too hard!  But then again, maybe that is totally true and I am being off beat by making a homemade celebration from the whole family....

 

I don't think she was cranky or looking a gift horse in the mouth, but was more commenting on how strange I was thinking about the whole thing.  

 

What do you think?  Strange?  Not strange?  Huh...

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Sounds like something my mother would do.

 

I think it was very sweet that you did things for your parents, and sad she had to be ungrateful.

Who was the one to think of making the cookies and bookmarks?? Obviously you, so they were from you too!

 

I would not feel guilty at all. Next year, send them a card and chocolates and be done.

 

I honestly have no patience for parents making children feel guilty for nice acts of kindness.

 

Just my honest opinion. :)

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They make Hallmark cards from grandkids to grandparents for those days.  I buy them.  I vote that your decision to include your kids as you did is quite normal.

 

I don't do grandparents' day.  My kids and I do Mothers' and Fathers' day.  That's how my parents did it when I was little, so they really can't complain about it now.  :P

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My family situation is a bit weird, and because of that I just give something to the people I choose to recognize on mothers/fathers day. But I know people who get their kids involved in making crafts for their grandparents, it's not weird at all. 

 

Having said that, crafts take effort, so if they're going to look a gifthorse in the mouth, i'd just send a card next year. 

 

 

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So, this year for Mother's day, my kiddos and I baked some cookies and we all made homemade cards and mailed them to my mom.  For Father's day, we all made book marks and I laminated them and we all made homemade cards and mailed them off too.  I never thought twice about this, but when I had the chance to sit and chat with my mom (we don't live nearby, so this was the next time we saw each other) she was a bit snide and commented that there is such a thing as grandparents day and that on mother's day or father's day it wasn't appropriate (I made up that word..I forgot exactly what she said) for the grandkids to be sending gifts.  Or something like that.  I honestly can't quite remember, but the sentiment was that I shouldn't be sending gifts from the kids on mother's day or father's day.  They should be just from me and or my husband. 

 

:huh:  :huh:  :huh:

 

To be honest, I never thought about it too hard!  But then again, maybe that is totally true and I am being off beat by making a homemade celebration from the whole family....

 

I don't think she was cranky or looking a gift horse in the mouth, but was more commenting on how strange I was thinking about the whole thing.  

 

What do you think?  Strange?  Not strange?  Huh...

 

What do I think?  I think I'd better keep quiet or I'll end up saying really mean tings about it.

 

We actaully DO celebrate Grand[parent's day- always with apicnic or meal, never gifts. And about 90% of the Grannie;s friends and ours have never heard of Grandparents day.

 

Sorry- I just can't deal with the petty idiocy of someone complaining about gifts from children.

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I think what you did was sweet. I would be thrilled to receive something like that from my (future) grandchildren. On Mother's Day and Father's Day we have always given something to our own parents, and our kids have given us something or done something for us, like made us brunch. But..I would not get picky about grandchildren sending me something on Mother's Day.

 

I don't even know when Grandparents' Day is and have never celebrated it.

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You're not the only one! I have seen it on calendars but I never remember when it is.

 

This is me too.  I see it now and then and think "Oh no, do we really have to think up another gift for the grandparents?"  And then I forget.  For all I know, my in-laws are seething because they don't get grandparents day gifts.

 

Mothers/Fathers Days in our house mean a gift from all of us to the grandparents. There is some acknowledgement of the day from the kids to my husband and me.  Honestly, I wish those days would just go away.   I feel like I have to have my kids acknowledge them because someday my son may be married and have children and those days may be important to his spouse.  (I feel the same about Valentines Day.)

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I never had my kids send card to my parents on Mother's Day or Father's Day, but I think it is sweet that you did! What a good Momma you are!!

 

I do think it would be better to do it on Grandparents Day though, now that I am older.

 

When I first learned that there was a grandparents day several years back, I remember thinking  "just another another day that Hallmark made up so they could sell more cards".

 

Now that I am older and have now seen our family lose one of my children's grandparents, I view it differently. I find myself having regrets that we didn't DO something special through the years to celebrate the grandparents. A wonderful grandparent can be such a gift to your children and it would be a great way to teach your children to love and appreciate the grandparents, and to show your parents, how much YOU, as their child, appreciate what they bring to the table so to speak, as a grandparent.

 

I would encourage you to just forgive your mom's testiness and love away on her on Mother's Day and Grandparent's day!! Life is to short and you may just find her being more loveable all around as a result.

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I don't ever think about Grandparents' Day until some random ad pops up and tries to put me through a guilt trip.

 

I figure I had better not start a tradition I won't remember to keep up, LOL.  We do Mother's / Father's Day, birthdays, and Christmas so I think that is reasonable.  Besides, they aren't supposed to eat candy or nuts any more, have no place to put any more trinkets and artworks, and don't need another pot of flowers to keep up.

 

I'm guessing my younger sister does Grandparents' Day, because she tends to over-do all the sentimental stuff.  Plus, her kids are preschoolers, and preschools tend to do those silly "look how cute and tiny my hand is" type crafts for grandparents.  I trust that my parents don't feel slighted by the fact that I don't even if my sister does.  :p

 

I should add that my parents have 6 kids and at least 15 grandkids (if you include steps and greats).  They already have received over 50 years' worth of cards and gifts from all those kids.  Give old people a break.  Where are they supposed to put all that stuff?  :P  I feel almost guilty every time I buy them something.

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Sorry- I just can't deal with the petty idiocy of someone complaining about gifts from children.

 

I'm thinking this. 

 

In my family, all the grandmothers EXPECT gifts and/or cards from grandchildren/great-grandchildren on Mother's Day. (That's a whole other thread, don't get me started.) But even if they didn't, I can't see anyone being miffed about receiving recognition unexpectedly. Was she upset that she felt that YOU didn't do enough, or that you had the kids do the work so you didn't have to, or something?

 

I don't know, I hate those kinds of holidays. I always tell the kids not to make or buy me anything, because it's a holiday for recognition and not an excuse for pushing more material goods around. They do anyway, but still. I don't get it. 

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We give a gift to the grandparents on Mother's Day and Father's Day, but it comes from our whole family, not just the children. So they are getting one gift that is from both their children and grandchildren. It tends to be a restaurant gift card nowadays.

 

I think it's not really polite to suggest that the gift someone gives you is inappropriate, so I understand why your feelings were hurt. I would say for the future, do what pleases you and the children, even if it does not please your parents. If you want to send them a gift out of love, continue to do so. If you don't want to do it any more, just send a card signed with everyone's name.

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I am aware of Grandparent's Day but we don't do anything for it.  I have no idea when it actually is.  We see and exchange gifts from the kids with all the grandparents for Mother's and Father's Day.   My mother actually gives us gifts for Mother's and Father's day too.

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OP here - Thank you all for your replies!  We never celebrated grandparents day ever before, so it was totally out of the blue that my mom mentioned it.  When we made bookmarks for my dad, we all made one, even my husband, so it was a gift from each one of us.  Same with the cookies..we all pitched in and made cards, each of us, so really they were family gifts.  I really couldn't figure out why or how including the kids was not a good idea, but it seems that there is quite the variety of approaches to the holidays, to include nothing with grandkids to full on family presents.  To each his own, I guess!  It caught me off guard..I wasn't mad or hurt, but just sort of wide eyed and curious as to how I missed something along the way, HAHAHA!  I like the idea of next time, just a box of chocolates and a card from me.  The goal is to make her feel loved and happy and if that is what she needs, then a box of chocolates just from me is what she shall get!!  :)

 

Thank you everyone!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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