Scarlett Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 We were at a restaurant with a big group. Several big tables. My son was at another table....I was at a table with my dh and his good friend and friends wife....my son had been trying to get my attention and I was not responding to mother....so he called out Scarlett?....to which I answered.....dh's friend was disturbed by that.....asked me if Ds calls me by my first name...I,deflected the question under none of his business.....but still he said directly to me, " do you want me to talk to him about that?" I looked directly at him and said, " no. I don't" But he did. Out of my hearing he told my Ds if he heard that again he would deal with him or have a problem or some such. I am livid. Dh is trying to talk me out of being livid. What would you do? My son doesn't routinely call me Scarlett. But even if he did, I consider that my business.. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 It would have all been deflected if you had just said, "No he doesn't, but in a crowded environment like this, he couldn't get my attention otherwise." but that said, I would be livid too. I would tell the friend "If you do Anything like that again, you will have an even bigger problem with Me." 44 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Hahaha sorry but this reminds me of my younger brother. My Mom said he had to call her by her first name on occasion because she talked so much. I don't think it's a big deal. Let it go with Mr. Busy Body and all will be well. :grouphug: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I would be very upset with that person. You made it clear that you did not need his intervention, and he ignored you. Your son acted quite reasonably. I don't get why this guy would be so bothered by that :confused1: . 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Talk to son about how some adults aren't respectful, and that guy isn't. You told him to stay out of it and he won't. 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 But he did. Out of my hearing he told my Ds if he heard that again he would deal with him or have a problem or some such. I am livid. Dh is trying to talk me out of being livid. You told him to stay out of it and he ignored that. I'd be livid and dh would not be able to talk me out of it. I'd let the guy know he was out of line and that if he did anything like that again I would deal with him or have a problem or some such. This was not a parent helping another parent. This was not him being part of the village. This was him pointedly ignoring your request to not get involved. 20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I would not only be livid; I would be on the phone with the guy, telling him exactly what I thought of him. What an idiot!!!! What NERVE!!! 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 Talk to son about how some adults aren't respectful, and that guy isn't. You told him to stay out of it and he won't. That is pretty much how it went down. Ds came to me and asked me if it was disrespectful to call my name Scarlett in a crowd when mother wasn't working. I said no and why did he ask? That is when I learned that friend had gone to my son AFTER I said not to intervene....so I told Ds exactly what went down and told him not to worry about it. 26 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I'd be beyond livid. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I'd make sure that my son understood that the guy was out of line, and that he (son) had done nothing wrong.* I'd be a little peeved with my husband for not understanding that his friend treated me with blatant disrespect and that I have every right to be livid. I'd avoid the friend. But that's just me. :) *ETA: didn't see your most recent post when I posted. You had already done this. That's the main priority, to my mind. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 There would be words said and they wouldn't be nice. It is not disrespectful for my child to call my actual name out if I do not respond to what they normally call me. I actually don't find it disrespectful if they decided to call me by first name for any reason. I may not like it but no one has the right to speak to my child that way and act like it is in my defense. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 It would have all been deflected if you had just said, "No he doesn't, but in a crowded environment like this, he couldn't get my attention otherwise." but that said, I would be livid too. I would tell the friend "If you do Anything like that again, you will have an even bigger problem with Me." I felt like I didn't owe this guy an explanation about the relationship I have with my son. My pointed, "no I don't need your help"' came because of history of this guy thinking my son is a problem. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pegs Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I'd tell DS that I felt hurt that DH's friend had been so very disrespectful of my relationship with DS, and that I was sorry he'd been directly affected by this intrusion. Then I'd model how to set and maintain boundaries with people who are known to violate them. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I felt like I didn't owe this guy an explanation about the relationship I have with my son. My pointed, "no I don't need your help"' came because of history of this guy thinking my son is a problem. This guy sounds worse as more details come to light. He has been disrespectful to you, and mistrustful of your son. What is your dh's response to all of this? 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Wow, so out of line. And, out of touch with the younger generation. It is kind of a "thing" these days for teens to refer to friends' parents by their first names, not to their faces/in direct address, and usually with affection. Knowing this, he wouldn't have found it shockingly disrespectful to hear a son call his own mom by her given name. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyJoy Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I would be very upset with that person. You made it clear that you did not need his intervention, and he ignored you. Your son acted quite reasonably. I don't get why this guy would be so bothered by that :confused1: .It sounds like a weird hangup from a childhood of "Respect your elders." Sounds like my FIL. There is a reason we have limited contact. I probably would have answered him initially with a smile and, "Oh, not normally but it was a good way to get my attention when there are too many moms in the room." I think it was ridiculous of him to not let it go after you told him no, and I would have a hard time not saying anything to him about it. Depending on your relationship I might ignore it (this once) or send an email. What I'd want to say, but possible edit, is "Dude, we've got this parenting thing handled right now. I was flabbergasted that you thought it was your place to correct him, especially after I told you not to! And don't threaten my child because there is no punishment that you will be carrying out." I had an acquaintance who used to chime in while I was in the middle of directing/correcting and try to parent over me. She also had a lower comfort level with physical stuff so she'd interfere at the playground after I told her DS was fine. I finally got fed up and said, "I'm right here; I don't need your help. You confuse him when you talk over me. Let me parent my own child." She backed off after that and caught herself a few times when she started. I also had an acquaintance whose kids constantly corrected mine based on their family's rules/boundaries. I'd continually tell them, with their mom right there, that I was watching DS, he was fine, I'm his mommy, he's not disobeying me, I can see him, etc. Their mom would smile uncomfortably, look away, or maybe even smirk? but never tell them to back off. They even grabbed and shoved my son to stop him from doing things I explicitly told them he was allowed to do. We ended up limiting contact with this family (for this and more). 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. B Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Next time you encounter the man, if there is a next time, have ds intentionally keep interrupting the conversation calling out Scarlett. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Oh, wow!! I'd be super pissed!! I would have words with the jerk!! I do not need saved! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 He threatened your son. And over whether your son should call you by your first name or not which is none of his business. Your DH should be backing you up. That is absolutely 100% not acceptable behavior and you have the right to be upset. This seems to imply that things might get worse. Avoid him if you can but honestly I would want my DH to quite firmly make it clear to his friend that threatening his son is NOT acceptable. 27 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I felt like I didn't owe this guy an explanation about the relationship I have with my son. My pointed, "no I don't need your help"' came because of history of this guy thinking my son is a problem. You don't owe him an explanation. He owes your son an apology. Huge, huge boundary crossing issues! What kind of sexist moron thinks he should discipline someone else's child AFTER his mother very clearly tells him to back off? DH should speak with him. I would not get together with him, especially not with your DS. What a jerk! (The "friend," not your DS, to be clear.) 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I'd be furious. And I'd be ornery enough to tell my kid to call me exclusively by my first name around this person. Is that really a big deal? I've known people who called their parents by their first name. It was just a quirk of their family culture. For a while my oldest did when she was around 3 years old. I thought it was funny and cute and never corrected her and she switched back to mommy on her own after a while. I'm baffled that anyone would think that's even rude in the slightest and I'm absolutely flabbergasted that someone would feel they needed to say something about it. :huh: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Ok so I have to wonder - did he not think your dh would handle it, if in fact it were something that actually needed correction? The insult is widespread. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I would've addressed directly and publicly at the table because that's the kind of person I am. "Why did you do talk to my son privately like that when I specifically said you shouldn't?" Then I would wait for an answer even if crickets chirped in the background for a solid 10 minutes. If he was unclear about it being a rhetorical question I would correct him on that too. "To be clear, I expect an answer."Your husband is trying to talk you out of being upset that 1. someone openly, blatantly disregarded your answer to a question asked point blank and 2. inserted himself in what should've been a parenting situation!??!?! That's grossly disrespectful to you and it's a creepy violation of a boundary. If my husband tried to talk me down off that one there'd be hell to pay at my house. I rigidly enforce boundaries. It's very common for homeschooled kids to call their mothers by their first names when "mom" is white noise at a large event. If there's been an ongoing problem I suggest you tell your husband you will be directly addressing this guy's behavior every. single. time. and it will be short, direct, blunt and public. Your husband can like it or dislike it, but that's how it's going to be. 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I'd be livid also, and DH would be backing me up to his friend or he'd be feeling my wrath as well. What kind of misogynist jerk would threaten your child after you specifically told him not to get involved? 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I'd be furious. And I'd be ornery enough to tell my kid to call me exclusively by my first name around this person. Is that really a big deal? I've known people who called their parents by their first name. It was just a quirk of their family culture. For a while my oldest did when she was around 3 years old. I thought it was funny and cute and never corrected her and she switched back to mommy on her own after a while. I'm baffled that anyone would think that's even rude in the slightest and I'm absolutely flabbergasted that someone would feel they needed to say something about it. :huh: Yeah it seems so weird to me that they would get so upset they would threaten someone else's kid over calling their mom by her first name. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 Well my dh keeps talking in circles to me saying I can't control anyone else to which I say true and therefore I will control who I spend my time with.....to which he says let's not be hasty, let me talk to him, 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I would be talking to my Dh about why his friend thought he needed to discipline my child. I also wouldn't trust the man around my child again. The whole situation seems a little creepy. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I think I'd completely ignore the guy , and tell your son this is a lesson in how treating women like children / objects to be protected is offensive. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aiden Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I would have a conversation with this man telling him in no uncertain terms that he is not to interfere in my relationship with my child, and that my child is not his to discipline. If at all possible, my husband would be standing right there, backing me up and making it clear that this is his family, he supports his wife, and his kid is off limits to former friend's discipline. (I'd have to convince my husband to let me do the talking, because he'd be as ticked as I would be.) I added the bit about your husband backing you up mostly because it sounds like this guy doesn't respect what you have to say, so having your husband's clear agreement would help get the point across. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Like you, I would be quite upset with husband's friend. Not only that, I would not appreciate husband trying to talk me down off ledge. Plus son would not be in that particular friend's presence anymore. I probably would not either. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Well my dh keeps talking in circles to me saying I can't control anyone else to which I say true and therefore I will control who I spend my time with.....to which he says let's not be hasty, let me talk to him, You do actually get to have a say in who threatens your minor son. This isn't unreasonable if you are wanting to tell this man that his behavior was inappropriate and better not ever happen again. ETA: To be clear, I do realize that you can't control who speaks to your kids that way, but that does not mean you stand there passively while they do it. What does that teach our kids? 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa R. Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 If there are a lot of moms in the room, calling you by your first name is an easy way to get your attention. It's not a big deal at all, and this guy needs to relax. He definitely crossed two boundaries: 1) asking you if he should deal with it when you'd already told him to stay out of it and 2) talking to your ds anyway. While I'd be highly irritated, it appears your ds is a teen and is perfectly capable of dealing with difficult people. I'd leave this as a good lesson for ds to learn how to enforce boundaries. If you happen to see this man again, I'd prep ds ahead of time and tell him that he has your permission to tell this guy to back off. Would he feel comfortable saying something like, "My mother doesn't need your help. If you have anything further to say, feel free to talk directly to her"? Now that's a lesson in boundaries! If friend questions you regarding anything about your ds, anything at all, I'd say something similar. I wouldn't call or email this guy right now. Your son is a big boy, and he can certainly handle what that guy did. If ds was a younger child, I'd leap to his defense. However, at his age, I'd let it go. But I'd also be ready for next time. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 To clarify, he spoke to my ds after we dispersed from the tables, I didn't know about it until this morning when ds told me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Well my dh keeps talking in circles to me saying I can't control anyone else to which I say true and therefore I will control who I spend my time with.....to which he says let's not be hasty, let me talk to him, Has DH vented to this guy in the past about your son? Does this doofus think he's protecting his friend by telling off your kid? What would DH do if this guy threatened his son in the same scenario? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 If there are a lot of moms in the room, calling you by your first name is an easy way to get your attention. It's not a big deal at all, and this guy needs to relax. He definitely crossed two boundaries: 1) asking you if he should deal with it when you'd already told him to stay out of it and 2) talking to your ds anyway. While I'd be highly irritated, it appears your ds is a teen and is perfectly capable of dealing with difficult people. I'd leave this as a good lesson for ds to learn how to enforce boundaries. If you happen to see this man again, I'd prep ds ahead of time and tell him that he has your permission to tell this guy to back off. Would he feel comfortable saying something like, "My mother doesn't need your help. If you have anything further to say, feel free to talk directly to her"? Now that's a lesson in boundaries! If friend questions you regarding anything about your ds, anything at all, I'd say something similar. I wouldn't call or email this guy right now. Your son is a big boy, and he can certainly handle what that guy did. If ds was a younger child, I'd leap to his defense. However, at his age, I'd let it go. But I'd also be ready for next time. I don't know. This guy sounds nuts. I would be hesitant to provoke him for fear of eliciting a physical response. I'd tell my son to stay far, far away from him. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Well my dh keeps talking in circles to me saying I can't control anyone else to which I say true and therefore I will control who I spend my time with.....to which he says let's not be hasty, let me talk to him, No, I can't control anyone else but I can wreak havoc on an adult male using threatening language with my child. This is completely freaking me out wondering how many people have allowed this moron to talk this way to their dc. Why does he think it's okay? I would make sure he knew he wasn't. I also don't think it's hasty at all to cut ties. If my dh wanted to continue a relationship on his own, I would do my to understand but I would be seriously disappointed in him. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 Well everyone has picked up on the word threat. But to be clear there is no real threat beyond disapproval, My son doesn't feel threatened. He feels disapproved . I feel just as enraged either way. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
albeto. Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 He threatened your son. And over whether your son should call you by your first name or not which is none of his business. Your DH should be backing you up. That is absolutely 100% not acceptable behavior and you have the right to be upset. This seems to imply that things might get worse. Avoid him if you can but honestly I would want my DH to quite firmly make it clear to his friend that threatening his son is NOT acceptable. Knowing this man's history with thinking your son is a problem, I would go mamma bear all over that. Okay, I would feel all mamma bear, but I would remain calm. ETA: I saw your last post. Shaming and verbal threats should not be ignored. Your son learns from you how to recognize bullies, as well as how to stand up to them. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 He isn't creepy. He has a fine family, and he is a good man. I think he is a tad over zealous and I think my son had always rubbed him the wrong way. Dh won't admit this. But it is true. Dss is the golden child...my son can do nothing right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Well everyone has picked up on the word threat. But to be clear there is no real threat beyond disapproval, My son doesn't feel threatened. He feels disapproved . I feel just as enraged either way. Your son may not FEEL threatened but the way you describe what the man said IS a threat. He is threatening to "handle" things with your son, and over nothing. That is not normal boundary respecting behavior. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Well everyone has picked up on the word threat. But to be clear there is no real threat beyond disapproval, My son doesn't feel threatened. He feels disapproved . I feel just as enraged either way. So, what exactly does it mean that he said, "he told my Ds if he heard that again he would deal with him or have a problem or some such"? That sounds threatening to me, and as a mom, I wouldn't want my dc around such a person. All your son did was call out your actual name. That isn't something so horrible that should require a non family member to pull him aside and say the above. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 This topic reminded of the looks I get when my kids do that, so I made a FB post about it because I know some people see it and wonder about it. It seemed like something worth addressing because I've heard other homeschoolers talk about other people being shocked by it. None of them were ever obnoxious about it though. "Now for today's lesson in cultural differences. In the homeschooling community it's common for children at large events to call their mothers by their first names after "Mom!" has been shouted many times and has not been responded to by the mom of the child yelling. Let's face it, in that situation "mom" is white noise. Please don't interpret this as some sort of disrespectful action. It's a practical necessity many (certainly not all) homeschooling mothers are perfectly happy with. This cultural norm is also practiced by those homeschooling families at events outside the homeschooling community. You need not address either the mother or the child involved about it. It doesn't concern you. Also, if you ask the mother if her child needs a talking to from you as "help" and she tells you "no," do not under any circumstances proceed to lecture said child. You would be violating boundaries. Yes, this really happened to someone I know, not me. I have seen a few funny looks from people in situations when my kids call me "Lisa" at a big event but I'm not one to worry about every facial expression someone has. I teach my children that not everyone owes us an explanation for everything, so I try to practice the same. We just assume the best and move on."I've done a few posts about adoptive family cultural norms now and a few homeschooling ones so it's within the norms on my FB page. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 This topic reminded of the looks I get when my kids do that, so I made a FB post about it because I know some people see it and wonder about it. It seemed like something worth addressing because I've heard other homeschoolers talk about other people being shocked by it. None of them were ever obnoxious about it though. "Now for today's lesson in cultural differences. In the homeschooling community it's common for children at large events to call their mothers by their first names after "Mom!" has been shouted many times and has not been responded to by the mom of the child yelling. Let's face it, in that situation "mom" is white noise. Please don't interpret this as some sort of disrespectful action. It's a practical necessity many (certainly not all) homeschooling mothers are perfectly happy with. This cultural norm is also practiced by those homeschooling families at events outside the homeschooling community. You need not address either the mother or the child involved about it. It doesn't concern you. Also, if you ask the mother if her child needs a talking to from you as "help" and she tells you "no," do not under any circumstances proceed to lecture said child. You would be violating boundaries. Yes, this really happened to someone I know, not me. I have seen a few funny looks from people in situations when my kids call me "Lisa" at a big event but I'm not one to worry about every facial expression someone has. I teach my children that not everyone owes us an explanation for everything, so I try to practice the same. We just assume the best and move on." I've done a few posts about adoptive family cultural norms now and a few homeschooling ones so it's within the norms on my FB page. I don't think this has anything at all to do with homeschooling. It's actually quite common in all types of communities to call out your mother's, or father's, first name when the name you normally call them isn't heard in a crowd. I've experienced it happening by my own dc, and many other children, in all types of situations. It's not really that big of a deal. 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
albeto. Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Well everyone has picked up on the word threat. But to be clear there is no real threat beyond disapproval, My son doesn't feel threatened. He feels disapproved . I feel just as enraged either way. Telling a child he'll have to deal with an adult is a threat. It's bully behavior and it's meant to be intimidating. At the very least, this man is modelling for your son how to ignore women and defer to men for "important" things in society. At the very worse, he's completely undermining your relationship and imposing his own. Your husband seems incapable of knowing what to do, or incapable of doing what he wants. If you're a "submitting" kind of wife and you let it go because your husband tells you to, then I think your son learns a really unfortunate lesson. If your son incorporates this social skill into his own personal tool box of social skills (ignore women, intimidate and manipulate others into compliance when calm conversation isn't persuasive enough), would you be comfortable with that? 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 See I would not consider someone who shows obvious favoritism toward one child in a family over another a "good man." I find grown men who feel a need to bully children of any age creepy no matter how nice they seem on the outside. I think though, you are going to have to choose, is he a good guy with a nice family who isn't trying to intimidate your son or is he a jerk who is trying to push your kid around expressly against your wishes? You are in a blended family, I would be highly concerned that your DH continuing to be buds with someone who favors DH's bio children over your son would create a problem in your household. I can't imagine your son feels good about it. :( 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I felt like I didn't owe this guy an explanation about the relationship I have with my son. My pointed, "no I don't need your help"' came because of history of this guy thinking my son is a problem. That would make me more angry. He wants to think ill of your son. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyJoy Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I don't think this has anything at all to do with homeschooling. It's actually quite common in all types of communities to call out your mother's, or father's, first name when the name you normally call them isn't heard in a crowd. I've experienced it happening by my own dc, and many other children, in all types of situations. It's not really that big of a deal. Yep. I did it as a public-schooled 6-year-old in the 1980s. And my parents required Mr., Mrs., Miss Lastname when addressing adults. Getting mom's attention in a crowd is different. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 How is your dh not offended?? Clearly this guy thinks you two are terrible/lazy/idiot parents who need his help. I'd be pissed at the guy first but dh a close second. What an arrogant ass, stepping in to parent your child!! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I would absolutely talk to the friend and ask him what happened. If he threatened or acted 'disapproved' my child, in anyway, on such a silly matter....I would make sure that the friend Thoroughly understands that it is to absolutely Never happen again. And when it comes to parenting your child, it is your decision on what names it is appropriate for him to call you. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 I was in a white hot rage earlier today when Ds first told me. I held off for dh's sake.....because it is his friend...not out of some sort of submissive role but respectful of my dh. This family has been very good to Dh. In Dh's darkest hours they were there for him, even letting him crash on their couch and helping out with DHS boys during visitation when DH had to work. They arenot bad people. They adore dss. My son has that personality that often rubs people the wrong way. It is what it is. You like him or hate him. Dh has not told me I can't talk to this man. He says he would like to do it for me, but he will understand if I want to do it directly. But it has been a contentious subject. I'm am much angrier than dh, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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