Miss Mousie Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 I don't mean to be morbid, and if this thread catches someone who has suffered a loss recently, please forgive me. I recently met a homeschooled boy, late high school (probably a senior), whose mother passed away last fall. The boy has not officially graduated, and is considering GED, but it's the larger picture I'm asking about. I'm just curious. It pops in my mind from time to time that I should make some sort of write-up for DH so he understands the options (PS, self-education, current credit status, etc.) but it always gets pushed aside and I haven't done anything. Do you have some kind of plan in place in case something terrible happens to you? Is it in writing? What does it include? Have you designated someone to step in? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 My plans are shared with DH electronically. He'd hire a tutor/babysitter to at least finish whatever year it was, and then look at the school choices. I'm sure it's harder the older the student is. I would hope DS and DH would be able to work out a plan together, if DS was at least 15 or so, so that DH would be able to give DS a diploma and transcript that would be sufficient for college admission (or job applications). 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 How very difficult for that family. Every family should have a will that explains where the children will go if one parent passes away. This is why even SAHPs should have life insurance. That often goes to pay for daycare and the education of the children that the SAHP was providing. In this case as an example, the family might have been able to pay for tutoring to get him up to speed to graduate from the local high school, as well as to pay another homeschool family to help with the transcript. Of course they could do it as charity, but ensuring that you can compensate means you can ask for the best. Life insurance allows you to throw money at the "small" stuff so you can get on with the big problems, like grief. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 I never really did. I mean, my stuff is around and my husband could find everything he needed, but there is no document that says "this is what to do if I die." My husband and I both have life insurance so a tutor could be hired if needed. Or, my husband could have stayed home and homeschooled the kids. At this point (rising jr and sr in high school), I would expect they could all carry on. Each kid has a transcript going and it's easy to see what's left to graduate. They are not independent learners now but I suppose if necessary they could become independent pretty quickly. I guess at this point they could take everything at the community college. My daughter is already taking dual enrollment classes. Our will names people who have agreed to care for the kids if we both died, and the life insurance amounts would have been enough to send them to private school or whatever. Potential guardians were assured that homeschooling would not be required of them. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted June 24, 2015 Author Share Posted June 24, 2015 My DH knows, in a conversational sort of way, what we are doing, but there is no way he'd be able to pick right up - especially in the midst of grieving and figuring out bills to pay, etc. I am considering putting something in the file with the Wills, which would include the current status of the transcript, the current high school plan, etc. But will I actually remember to do that ... and update ... and direct him to my computer files ... yikes. A daunting thought! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted June 24, 2015 Author Share Posted June 24, 2015 My plans are shared with DH electronically. He'd hire a tutor/babysitter to at least finish whatever year it was, and then look at the school choices. I'm sure it's harder the older the student is. I would hope DS and DH would be able to work out a plan together, if DS was at least 15 or so, so that DH would be able to give DS a diploma and transcript that would be sufficient for college admission (or job applications). Regarding the bolded - do you mean daily? You email him the daily list for each kid, or whatever? Interesting idea. But I make my plans by hand. ;) He could easily find my notebook, but making sense of it is another matter! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamaraby Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Regarding the bolded - do you mean daily? You email him the daily list for each kid, or whatever? Interesting idea. But I make my plans by hand. ;) He could easily find my notebook, but making sense of it is another matter! Well, mine's all in OneNote and my kids all know what my abbreviations stand for and where all the books are so my dh could continue on should he choose to do so. Between the four of them, I know they could figure it out. I have a little life insurance, but not nearly as much as dh does because it was just too expensive for me. Still, it's enough to give him a bit of a buffer if something were to happen to me. My kids are young enough at this stage, though, that they'd just go to the public school. Were they high school age, then given that our district is all or nothing, things would be a bit more challenging. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Regarding the bolded - do you mean daily? You email him the daily list for each kid, or whatever? Interesting idea. But I make my plans by hand. ;) He could easily find my notebook, but making sense of it is another matter! I use a Google spreadsheet, and it is shared with him with editing privileges, so he could open it and see what I'd planned for DS in every subject for every week. I try to remember to put book titles in there and everything. So for the row for this week, he'd see which math pages, memory work, phonics, etc. should be done by the end of Friday. With only one elementary kid, I don't really have to plan day by day. For the upcoming year, I have all the books needed to start the year in a bag, and then further books grouped by month on a particular shelf--intended for my convenience, but it would be helpful for someone else trying to pick up where Ieft off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Dh knows what schools I think are okay. He knows that if I died since ds are on the cusp for their grade, it might be a good idea to send them down a grade depending. He knows that I would want them to wait at least a few months before going to school. Really, beyond that... I don't feel like I can do much. I mean, I'm not going to make up plans... that would be a bit morbid. Your friend's experience though does seem to be a reason to keep transcripts for any homeschooled high school kids up to date every single semester. We're not at that point, and I'm pretty decent about updating records every few months (even though they matter little at this age), but that does make me think... I would hate for ds to end up with most of a high school education and not be able to prove it because I'd been in some accident. What an... annoyance upon horror that would be for them. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ddcrook Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 My neighbor, who was a homeschooling mom, recently passed away unexpectedly. This was a very difficult situation that prompted my husband and I to talk about what we would do if one of us passes away. If my husband passed, I would just continue to homeschool. If I passed, my husband would quit working so he could homeschool the kids. Because of my neighbor's death, I am keenly aware that life is fragile. I want to keep my husband aware of the long term plans for each of my girls. I've also realized that I need to give my husband the names and numbers of the girls' doctors and a schedule of when he would need to make appointments. If my husband and I both pass away, the girls would go to his sister and I do not expect her to homeschool them. I have each child's standardized test scores in a file at the front of my filing cabinet so DH's sister can provide the scores to the school when she enrolls them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 My high schoolers could write their own transcripts and self educate to graduation wo any difficulty. My dh would probably just order kolbe or oak meadow and follow their plans for the younger kids. My older kids could fill him in on the blanks in the process, including transcripts, etc. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 We have a will that specifies who would take the kids if something happened to both of us. We both have life insurance that would have paid for help. When the kids were younger, the plan was to hire a tutor to at least finish out the year and make a decision beyond that. I did a lot of things in small groups with other families so those families would have known what my kids needed to do (history, science, lit club.) Math and other basics would have been ... "Here is the curriculum. This is what was done. This is what was left." I never did really detailed lesson plans for those "keep on chugging" subjects. Now that I have graduated two and only have 1 still in high school, I need to finish her transcript for this year, make an outline of what we expect to do the rest of the 4 years, knowing that options change. She is going to high school part-time, but may need to go full-time. The bigger issue is that I handle all of our finances ... I know where the money is, all the online passwords, how to get it, how to pay the bills, etc. I am working on getting all of this easily organized. (How big do they make those fire-proof safes?) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 We have life insurance on both of us. If either of us died, the kids would continue to be homeschooled by their current teacher. If both of us died, my oldest will get custody and she would probably keep the status quo as well, at least for the short term. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsWeasley Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 My partner and I have talked about it. In the case of my death, the kids would go to public school. They are young enough that we have no elaborate transcripts, but I know the school district has worked well with homeschoolers and I wouldn't expect any issues. If both my partner and I died, we would have problems. My partner and I cannot agree where the kids should go in case of our deaths. It eats at me, but I have no idea what will happen. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stm4him Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 I have thought about this a lot and part of my education plan in general is based on the fact that I want to be able to continue homeschooling if something were to happen to one of us. I have chosen materials at least up through middle school that my husband could have them do and all he would need to do is check their work (really just double check). He works from home anyway, so he would be around to supervise most of the time. If necessary, he could even hire a tutor to come in and check their work weekly or something. We used to have best friends with a large family (actually it was our pastor and his wife at the time) whom we asked to take our kids if anything happened to us because I don't think anyone in our family would homeschool them, but then their marriage kind of fell apart and so now we don't have anyone. There are two mom friends that I would really trust to homeschool my kids but their husbands are not quite as mature and they are not financially stable enough to take on the number of children we have (not that we are, either). So we are still praying and looking for who would be a good fit if something ever happened. I have chronic illness (not diagnosed with anything official yet) and my son has leukemia so I have realized over the last 2 1/2 years how fast things can change. I have chosen to use methods and materials that are almost completely student led or simple and straightforward enough that anyone should be able to step in in a checking work role. If we were both gone, I pray that those closest to us would know our desires and find a way for homeschooling to happen. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Our backup was always school. Husband was earning well when we were home educating, so the plan was private school. Leaving aside Calvin's LD (which we had well documented so that the files could be used to get accommodations if necessary) I tried to make sure that their basic skills (English and maths) were at least level with those of their schooled peers, so that they could go to school if necessary. We had life insurance so that my brother would be able to put them into private school or state school as he thought best if he took them over. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 We have one kid at home, a rising tenth grader. A file called "D's education" on dh's laptop contains her running transcript, detailed plans for next year, and ideas for her last two years of high school. If anything happened to me, dh would outsource dd's classes to the university (Arabic and math, at a minimum) and to online providers. My life insurance would cover the tuition. The document also lists different homeschool-friendly college consultants who could help navigate the college process, since all that info is in my head right now. She could be graduated and start college early, but I think that would be too much to deal with in a loss situation. If something should happen to both of us, dd would go live with my sister's family across town until she finished high school. Dsis is cool with our homeschooling plans. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luuknam Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 We're just starting out with homeschooling, so C would just go straight back to public school in the fall, and B would also have to go to school (he's never been in school). There is a private school in the area that might be a better fit for B than public school is, but I suspect that if I were to die my wife would just put him in public school, and only do something about it if there is a problem (for one, jumping through the financial aid hoops for private school is not something she'd probably want to do last minute). If she were to die, I'm not entirely sure what I'd do. We do have life insurance on both of us (though much less on me than on her, since life insurance companies don't like to give people without any income much life insurance), but I should probably worry about finishing my college degree with the money from my wife's life insurance if something were to happen to her, since her life insurance is not enough to just live off of indefinitely. So, not sure, but I'd have enough money to think about what to do. If we both die the kids go to my parents, which means going to NL, which means going to school in NL (homeschooling is not really an option in NL). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 DH and I have discussed it. The best option would be one of the Catholic schools. While none of them would be ideal (because all three children are classified as 2E), these schools would at least feed their souls and the smaller class sizes would make the transition a bit easier. The catholic schools here are very much a "community feel", so they would be well cared for there, academically and emotionally. DD13 would be an issue placing anywhere, considering she's entering high school at home this year. Some schools are nit-picky about accepting homeschool credits (I'm assuming this where the saying "all in or all out" comes from, when referring to homeschooling through high school - either do it all the way, or start high school in brick and mortar). On top of the credit issue, she is *quite* dyslexic. Her best option may be a private tutor for language skills/phonics, religion, and mathematics; since she enjoys history and science she would be more easily able to self-study those. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 If she were to die, I'm not entirely sure what I'd do. We do have life insurance on both of us (though much less on me than on her, since life insurance companies don't like to give people without any income much life insurance), but I should probably worry about finishing my college degree with the money from my wife's life insurance if something were to happen to her, since her life insurance is not enough to just live off of indefinitely. So, not sure, but I'd have enough money to think about what to do. If we both die the kids go to my parents, which means going to NL, which means going to school in NL (homeschooling is not really an option in NL). Huh. I didn't have a problem getting coverage at all even though I was not working when we bought our policies. I have the same coverage as my working husband, and my premiums are slightly cheaper. I could not get disability insurance, because there would be no income to replace. But life insurance? That sounds odd to me, but maybe it's a difference in state laws. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootAnn Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 We just made a passing reference to this last night. I won't share our tongue-in-cheek plans because they would probably offend people. Basically, we have no good options so we have to joke about it. Worse case is if both of us die together since the current will (made when we had only one child) sends everyone to DH's brother. Our kids would wilt & die in that house, but we don't have a better situation other than splitting them up. Homeschooling, while one of the worries, isn't the top one. If I die, DH would probably do the Kolbe transcript program for oldest/olders and hire a youngish, good looking governess/nanny to take care of the youngers with the insurance money. :lol: How big do they make those fire-proof safes? Just get more than one. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKT Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 My husband and I both have life insurance, so if he dies, the plan is that I will continue homeschooling as I have been all along, and then return to work once the kids are grown. If I die, my husband will have enough money to quit his job for a time to continue homeschooling (or, more likely, he would just shift to flexible contract work--he's in IT--instead of full-time work). Alternately, he would use my life insurance money to pay for private school for our kids. My husband knows what books I rely on to craft our homeschool plans (TWTM, for instance), so he knows he can use those as a reference to get his bearings, but I've made it clear that it's perfectly okay for him to put the kids in private school if he finds he's in over his head with homeschooling. (DH is 100% supportive of what I do as a homeschooling parent and we talk about philosophy/goals/progress all the time, but I'm definitely the one who actually steers the homeschooling ship in our house, doing all the work and teaching, keeping all the records, making all the decisions about curriculum, etc. Basically, our homeschooling arrangement is that he just trusts me just to do whatever I think is best. Because of this, I have a feeling it would be very overwhelming for him to try to step in and take over the homeschooling, especially in the wake of losing his wife, so if I were to pass away, I trust him to do whatever he feels he needs to in regards to our children's education. I suspect he would just put them in private school and I am perfectly fine with that.) If BOTH DH and I die, then our wills indicate that the kids will go to my sister and her husband, who will then be the recipients of our life insurance money. We absolutely do not expect either one of them to homeschool; instead, we trust them to make the best possible decision for our children's education, which will probably be private school or the public charter school their own children attend. Our insurance money would go towards the day-to-day costs of raising our kids and/or their school costs. (And honestly, if my kids were to suddenly be orphaned, the specifics of their education will probably not be their most pressing issue!) But my sister is very, very supportive of our homeschooling and she fully understands the educational issues that are important to me, so I think she and her husband would be able to provide a wonderful environment for my kids even if they had to attend school during the day. So, it's not fun to think about these things, but I definitely think it's important for homeschoolers to have these plans in place! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purpleowl Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 If I die, DH would most likely put the kids in school/daycare. There are a couple of private schools that he knows I would prefer for our kids over public schools. Both of the girls are accelerated, which I think would make things a little challenging to place them well in a school setting, but worst case scenario they'd be repeating what they've already learned. I'd never thought of using life insurance money to hire a private tutor who could continue homeschooling them. It's worth considering. My stuff is organized so that I know what's going on, and if somebody spent enough time looking through it they could probably get a pretty good idea. If DH dies, I'll probably end up needing to go back to work, though not immediately. I'd get the kids through to the start of another school year, then hopefully get a job at the private school where I used to teach, which has a great tuition benefit. If we both die, plan A is for the kids to go to my sister and her husband. They are not planning to homeschool (their kids are almost-3 and 1), but I think private school is likely, and I trust them to make decisions in my kids' best interests. If something should happen to them as well, plan B is for the kids to go to a couple that we're friends with, who currently have a 4yo and an almost-3yo, with one on the way; they're planning to homeschool, and even though I know they wouldn't do things exactly the same way we would, again I think they would make decisions in my kids' best interests. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Pre-divorce our plan would have been put ds in school. Ex would not have been able to homeschool and continue working. If both of us had died, then my parents would have raised ds and he would have been put into school as well. After-divorce we kind of had a plan. I had documentation and ds probably would have wanted to finish homeschooling. If he would have went to live with his dad, he would have probably had to go to public school. If he had went to my parents, he would have had more options. As it is, he's graduated and would probably move in with my parents or move to the dorms at college. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PollyOR Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Homeschool isn't important to DH. He would plop 13yo in public school without hesitation. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenneinCA Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 If something happened to me. My older kids would continue with their online and community college classes. My younger one would go to the local public school. The older kids have passed the CHSPE and could be considered graduated if necessary. If something happened to him. We would continue with the current set up. There is enough insurance to keep going for the next six years or so until the younger one graduates. If something happen to both of us. They would all go to my parents in Arizona. It is likely the older kids would be able to continue with community college and online classes. At least I hope so. My younger one would go to the local public school in Arizona. The alternative to this is to send all of them to my sister in law and her husband in Massachusetts but the kids have met these folks twice in their lives. That is why even though my parents are old and getting older, the plan is to send them there. The kids are getting older too and while they need support, the amount of care necessary in a hands on fashion is less. My oldest will turn 17 in October and has asked that she NOT be made guardian of her younger brothers so the grandparents it is. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted June 25, 2015 Author Share Posted June 25, 2015 Yes, my DS could interpret my notebook for DH. That wouldn't really be a problem. I'm confident DS could finish out whatever year he's working on, although it would be a much lighter version. What would likely happen, though, is that DH would have to decide whether he wants to stay in our current house or move closer to his parents. Part of that decision should be whether each local public high school would accept all of DS's credits. If I died before DS is a junior, I'm sure both DH and his mother would put DS in school. If DS is a junior or senior, I would hope that self-study/CC would be an acceptable option to them. But then there are the college apps ... no one would be able to navigate that if I am gone. :( So I guess public school would be his *only* option, unless I leave VERY thorough, specific information - probably including a draft counselor letter, school profile, etc. even before DS begins high school! :svengo: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luuknam Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Huh. I didn't have a problem getting coverage at all even though I was not working when we bought our policies. I have the same coverage as my working husband, and my premiums are slightly cheaper. I could not get disability insurance, because there would be no income to replace. But life insurance? That sounds odd to me, but maybe it's a difference in state laws. Maybe, or maybe it's because the life insurance is through my wife's work, although I thought we'd had the same issue with a previous insurance in Texas. Not sure. Also, we did not need physicals for this life insurance - if we wanted more we'd have needed to do a physical (plus spend more money on it, of course). IIRC, the life insurance on me is about 3/4 of my wife's annual salary; the life insurance on my wife is about 3x her annual salary, both of which were the max we could easily get. Apparently I'm worth 1/4 of what she's worth? :huh: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Maybe, or maybe it's because the life insurance is through my wife's work, although I thought we'd had the same issue with a previous insurance in Texas. Not sure. Also, we did not need physicals for this life insurance - if we wanted more we'd have needed to do a physical (plus spend more money on it, of course). IIRC, the life insurance on me is about 3/4 of my wife's annual salary; the life insurance on my wife is about 3x her annual salary, both of which were the max we could easily get. Apparently I'm worth 1/4 of what she's worth? :huh: Oh, I see. We just went to an agency and bought life insurance. We didn't want it tied to anyone's employment. I'm sure going through an employer would be different. Makes more sense to me now! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Yes. It's that important to us. If I went, we had insurance that would cover private school and maid service. If we both went, the guardian is a homeschooler, and we have instructions stored with our estate documents. It isn't as much as issue now with one in college and one just a few years from that, but we're glad we got it covered. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abba12 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 This is something which I have thought about before. I was also inspired by the Robinson curriculum story (I do not use that curric, but my in-laws did) where his wife actually did pass away, with 6(?) children being homeschooled. She had planned out the entire 12 year curriculum in advance, unsure if the resources would still be available when they needed them. (I suppose that makes sense in the decade they were in) and when she passed, the family were able to pick up where she left off. I'm aware new things are coming up all the time, and children differ, and flexibility is needed. But as much as I can, I am writing out a detailed curriculum plan (what, why and how) from pre-k to grade 10 (11/12 is a little different in Australia, and if we do end up homeschooling those years, it would be entirely student led anyway, we don't have transcripts or anything) I'm putting this plan online where my husband knows where it is, and I talk to him frequently about our curric choices. If something happened to me, I'm confident he could take over, with some help from his family who were also homeschoolers. If we both passed away, we have in our will left instruction for the children to be cared for by close family friends who homeschool. They don't do it quite the way I would, but they have had two children graduate university and another in a skilled career. I'm quite fortunate to be surrounded by like minded people and a husband absolutely dedicated to homeschooling who I know would continue on. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 I don't because really I'm it. If something happens to me than there is nobody else to do it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 I worry about this. I really do. I do ALL the school planning, including this next year, in which we will try school because my kids are asking to go. But they are going to charter schools, not the school down the street. The school down the street is NOT the best place for them, but if I were to die, DH would most likely not have a choice, he has to work and works hours that wouldn't allow him to provide transportation to them continuing at the charter school. I just pray this doesn't happen until they are all grown and doing ok on their own. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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