Janie Grace Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Around here, parents who are "serious" about their kids' sports hire personal trainers... for their 4th and 5th graders (on up). The kids play their specific sport year round, go to expensive camps, etc. Of course I think everyone should be allowed to live by their own priorities (time, money, etc) and I understand people with money (and often not many children) wanting to help their little athletes be all they can be. But sometimes it really stinks for those of us who can just afford "regular" participation (including registration fee, fees for mandatory indoor practices before the official season begins, gear, etc). My kid didn't make a team we really thought he'd make. The kids who made it are the kids with personal trainers. It just... stinks. I'm sad and frustrated. :( 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I'm sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted June 13, 2015 Author Share Posted June 13, 2015 Thanks, guys. It makes me feel grouchy and judgy toward other parents (I want to shake them and tell them that their special snowflake is probably NOT going to be a professional athlete, so CHILL). But that's obviously not a mature or charitable response. I know I'm emotional because of my kid's disappointment. I appreciate being able to vent here! 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 That's so frustrating. The school teams here take all kids regardless if they are privileged special snowflakes or not. I don't know about non-school teams (some competitive sports starts in 7th here). There are kids who have personal trainers and all here, too. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 :grouphug: I'll be judgy right along with you. Ridiculous. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyGF Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I think people forget that kids "play" sports. Hugs. We live on the border of a wealthy area (I just saw an want ad for a pitching trainer for someone's fifth grader). My son isn't very, umm, coordinated, and we haven't pushed sports. My goal is that he feels confident playing with other kids. At the park on Thursday, when his friend didn't show up to play catch, he joined a bunch of the poorer kids to play kick ball. So even though he's nearly the worst on his baseball team, he is comfortable approaching kids he doesn't know to join in their pick up games. Emily 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Around here, parents who are "serious" about their kids' sports hire personal trainers... for their 4th and 5th graders (on up). The kids play their specific sport year round, go to expensive camps, etc. Here kids go to expensive camps because it is only slightly more than summer daycare. Kids in gym, tennis and golf have personal trainers from as young as 5. Not for swimming but the kids are at the pool doing competitive swimming with a coach three times a week minimum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Yup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Here kids go to expensive camps because it is only slightly more than summer daycare. Some of the special sports cams are less. Average cost compared to average cost of other daycare is about the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 We live in a similar area and I get it. I think a HUGE part of the problem is that as the kids get "older" (like late elementary school, which is NOT old :mad: ), the opportunities to play recreationally drop off sharply. There are fewer teams at all levels, and by junior high there are very few leagues that are for just for fun and exercise. We need to rebuild a network of leisure opportunities for older kids and teens that are about enjoying the sport, not dedicating your life to it. 31 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I'm sorry. It makes me appreciate living in a small town where there are not so many opportunities and no choices except the school team and casual community ed in the summer, and everyone is doing the same thing. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I don't know anything about your kid's sport or situation but we have seen this with baseball. I don't know if it is any consolation but it is interesting to see that as juniors and seniors in high school there does not seem to be much correlation between the ones with the private training and the ones who did not and their outcomes. My advice would be to keep playing in whatever capacity is affordable. We have seen lots of families that took the private training big money path devastated when there were no post high school opportunities and we have seen kids who played more recreationally have nice college offers. In the end it comes down to pure physical gifts, intangible "it" factor, and the sheer luck of being in the right place at the right time. I get where you are coming from. I've been there. Sorry! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Around here, there are two different baseball leagues for my son's age: the competitive expensive league and the laid back cheap league. :) We chose the laid back one and my son was able to play, it didn't cost us an arm and a leg, and he had fun. His coach was great, and the other families were extremely normal, well, most of them, lol. The other league is more expensive, and has the better, more intense players, that want to make it a career and such. Maybe there is something like that around where you live, where you could chose? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I'll be judgey too... that stinks. I'm sorry your kids didn't get on the team. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I'm sorry. :grouphug: Don't feel guilty about feeling a little judgmental. You are disappointed for your son, and you don't believe the playing field is even. I will say, though, that even many families who can afford personal trainers and expensive camps for their kids decide not to spend their money on those things. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnE-girl Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I'm totally judgey. They are kids, the vast majority of whom are not bound for the Olympics or professional teams. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysteryJen Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I am sorry. And you are right, the playing field is not even. Especially when kids are little. But I will say, the playing field starts to even out when you get in high school. Money can't buy love of the sport, talent, mental toughness, and the willingness to work hard. If your kid loves the sport, don't focus on unfairness, just keep working, keep playing and keep loving him. Everything will work out in the end. 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I'm sorry your DS didn't make the team he wanted. :grouphug: I don't understand the judgment against camps and private instruction if you can afford it and your kid is interested in it. How's it different from private music lessons or anything else? The baseball/sports camps here aren't more expensive than any of the other summer camps, except horse riding which is $$$. The baseball camp DS usually picks as his camp week is run by a local university's baseball coach and is cheaper than my DD's drama camp. (They and the local private high schools offer scholarships as well.) The camps are mostly fun. I don't notice a difference in DS's skills after a week. We won a private lesson at a fundraiser raffle for our (cheap) Little League. DS loved it, and he's practiced what the guy showed him on his own. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MotherGoose Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I'm not a sports mom (thank God), but think of it this way: because you can't afford private training, your kids get precious hours of their childhood back to just play and be kids, and when everyone is 40 it will be much more important that your kids had that childhood play time than personal training time. 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 That sucks. I also know that the camps you may be talking about are not run of the mill sports camps. Even the Sounders camp isn't that much compared to the elite training camps some people's kids go to. How's [private instruction] different from private music lessons or anything else? I don't think it's really the lessons, but the fact that tryouts are competitive at such a young age, and the competitiveness comes from money and not from dedication and hard work because the tryouts will test a lot of skills that most kids don't pick up on their own that young. I don't care who has lessons, private or not. I would share the OP's disappointment if the fact that some people had lessons meant that my kid couldn't be on any of the daily practice teams at nine, because she didn't make them. :( Money can't buy love of the sport, talent, mental toughness, and the willingness to work hard. No, but in this big high COL areas, there are hundreds of thousands of families and thousands and thousands of kids and there are more than enough with drive to fill two varsity teams compared to the smaller towns. So money and lifelong experience can make a difference. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplejackmama Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 You know I'm not even sure this is isolated to "wealthy" families. I think parents are so crazy they are going into debt up to their eyeballs to help insure their kid has a competitive edge. A mom (who has a son on the team) asked me why my boys don't play on the super elite, very expensive travel ball team. I explained we just couldn't afford it. Her face! I can't even describe her facial expressions, it was a look of shock that I would admit this. Then she was almost relieved to hear that it would be OK to tell your kids no. Parents are so weird. (Of which I'm sure I could be included but NOT for insane sports decisions) ;) 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I'm sorry your DS didn't make the team he wanted. :grouphug: I don't understand the judgment against camps and private instruction if you can afford it and your kid is interested in it. How's it different from private music lessons or anything else? The baseball/sports camps here aren't more expensive than any of the other summer camps, except horse riding which is $$$. The baseball camp DS usually picks as his camp week is run by a local university's baseball coach and is cheaper than my DD's drama camp. (They and the local private high schools offer scholarships as well.) The camps are mostly fun. I don't notice a difference in DS's skills after a week. We won a private lesson at a fundraiser raffle for our (cheap) Little League. DS loved it, and he's practiced what the guy showed him on his own. For things like music lessons, you don't have to hire a private teacher just to get good enough to be picked to take lessons. I can understand the frustration. When there's a limited number of slots for something and only kids from wealthy families get to do it, it's frustrating for everyone else. I think it's a problem with the system more than anything else. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 It's hard. My ODD is a competitive gymnast, but we can't really afford to send her to camps or get her privates. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Hi, my kid works with a personal trainer and is heavily involved in his sport of choice. He is not going to the olympics, my budget cannot afford it and while he does fine, his health is such that he is unable to get to the elite level. He even works to pay for more lessons. He has a personal trainer because he wants one. Since he was 6. Yes, six. I put him off as long as possible. I finally gave in. My son has his mind made up and wants this. He would prefer to attend a boarding school that has focus on training and he cried when he was 8 and I refused to send him to one out of state. Some kids are just weird like this. To be fair, I cannot stand the parents of 4, 5 and 6 year olds who put their child in a sport, pay for 5-6 hours a week of lessons to make sure their kid is the best at it and do not care about their child's interests or desires. It is to stroke the parents ego. I hate those parents. Hockey was the worse and I swear 99% of the dads suffered from little man syndrome. I am not a fan of how sports are moving towards competitive teams and ditching recreational levels. My son still enjoys playing other sports recreationally. It is insane that he cannot play for fun, because there are no rec leagues for his age. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Would anyone like to discuss the 16k to 20k cost for A to AAA travel ice hockey around here? Dallas Stars Elite (AAA) PeeWee: Association: $5,000 Team jerseys: $500 Team fees: approximately $1500 Travel expenses: $1600 per trip (2 people) for at least 6 or 7 out of state games and tournaments I'm sitting at a game right now. Lady next to me just informed me they spent 20 grand last season on their PeeWee A travel team. PeeWee = 11 - 12 yo Bantam = 12 - 13 yo You think you got expensive kid sport problems? Try being an ice hockey parent in the DFW area. I used to think I lucked out that my kid wasn't into horses like I was. AHAHAHA HAH.hah.ha. P.S. The figures above do not include private skate lessons, goalie lessons, skate clinics and camps, equipment, "open" ice time, nor does it include individual off ice training, or personal trainers. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I totally understand. My younger kids have struggled to find actual rec leagues. You know, for recreation. And our area is far from wealthy. I admit, I'm judging :p 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 For things like music lessons, you don't have to hire a private teacher just to get good enough to be picked to take lessons. I can understand the frustration. When there's a limited number of slots for something and only kids from wealthy families get to do it, it's frustrating for everyone else. I think it's a problem with the system more than anything else. When I was in high school, everyone was welcome in regular band. The kids who made honor band generally had been playing longer, practicing more, and taking private lessons. Our Little League takes everyone who registers before capacity is reached. The kids try out, but that's so the league can try to make the teams evenly matched. Maybe it's done differently elsewhere, but for most sports here there are open recreation league levels and (usually private) competitive travel teams. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 We have horses but ours are the backyard, $600 horses. In 4h some girls had $12-20,000 horses and professional trainers that rode the horses daily etc. Just hard to compete like that. I wish there wereore fun, low key rec programs. Our 11 year old foster son shows some talent but has never played any sports before so he is way behind the other kids. We also can't do the intensive schedules as he has parent visits,etc to go to. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I don't live in a wealthy area, but it's not much different. The only nice thing is they offer modified sports in high school so anyone can play that. Still might not be what someone really wanted when they try to make the JV or V teams. It's like this with everything. Musical instruments, hobbies, etc. It's like you can't just either do it for fun or be good. You have to be the best. *sigh* Heck, it wasn't any different when I was in school. I had no fat chance in hell joining anything in high school because my parents didn't get me into anything prior. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 I guess I really don't know where I stand on the matter. My kids play Little League. Cheap, no cuts, pretty laid back. I'm signing them up for a clinic this summer b/c I figure it'll improve their fitness and make the game even more enjoyable for them if they get tagged out at first less frequently. One is considering joining the middle school team next year (cuts unlikely) and one is considering trying out for the travel team (cuts almost certain.) If they do, they do. If they don't, they don't. But I don't feel bad for letting them do a clinic, regardless of which way they go. I am planning to get certified as a youth trainer in the next year, so I clearly value the concept of focused fitness improvement. I hope to contribute to their teams (whether LL, school, or travel) for the simple fun of it. But I hope I won't feel guilty for turning it into a profitable service down the line. Our area has a good number of rec options, so I shouldn't really feel like I'm hurting anyone by helping others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 Would anyone like to discuss the 16k to 20k cost for A to AAA travel ice hockey around here? Dallas Stars Elite (AAA) PeeWee: Association: $5,000 Team jerseys: $500 Team fees: approximately $1500 Travel expenses: $1600 per trip (2 people) for at least 6 or 7 out of state games and tournaments I'm sitting at a game right now. Lady next to me just informed me they spent 20 grand last season on their PeeWee A travel team. PeeWee = 11 - 12 yo Bantam = 12 - 13 yo You think you got expensive kid sport problems? Try being an ice hockey parent in the DFW area. I used to think I lucked out that my kid wasn't into horses like I was. AHAHAHA HAH.hah.ha. P.S. The figures above do not include private skate lessons, goalie lessons, skate clinics and camps, equipment, "open" ice time, not does it include individual off ice training, or personal trainers. I do not miss hockey, the cost is insane. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Many youth orchestras require a private teacher on top of whatever school or group instruction a student might have. It is a thing with everything. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted June 14, 2015 Author Share Posted June 14, 2015 That sucks. I also know that the camps you may be talking about are not run of the mill sports camps. Even the Sounders camp isn't that much compared to the elite training camps some people's kids go to. Yes, I'm not talking about inexpensive Rec Center camps or other reachable options. I am talking about one-on-one instruction with college coaches and sometimes even professional players. Overnight camps at pricey boarding schools for rich kids to practice their sport all summer. Lots and lots of money, lots and lots of opportunities to beat out the "regular" kids would also want a chance to play. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted June 14, 2015 Author Share Posted June 14, 2015 Thanks for the empathy, you guys. It was encouraging to read that by high school, kids with passion and talent (but not pricey lessons) CAN still compete. That helped me have vision to keep seeking opportunities for ds to play, and to do all I can to protect his love for the sport, even if he can't play at the "elite" level right now. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted June 14, 2015 Author Share Posted June 14, 2015 Hi, my kid works with a personal trainer and is heavily involved in his sport of choice. He is not going to the olympics, my budget cannot afford it and while he does fine, his health is such that he is unable to get to the elite level. He even works to pay for more lessons. He has a personal trainer because he wants one. Since he was 6. Yes, six. I put him off as long as possible. I finally gave in. My son has his mind made up and wants this. He would prefer to attend a boarding school that has focus on training and he cried when he was 8 and I refused to send him to one out of state. Some kids are just weird like this. I think your situation is truly remarkable. Kids like that are unique, and I'm all for supporting that kind of passion to the best of your ability. Dd has several friends who are at specialized boarding high schools (tennis, horseback riding). It's not our cup of tea to have our kids away from home before they are grown, but I do understand (I guess) letting a child who is that focused chase their dream. But I had no idea there were boarding schools for 8-year-olds!!! I marvel at Olympic athletes, and obviously they didn't get where they are by living a "normal life." So I'm not opposed to giving a gifted athlete the training they need to achieve greatness, if you can afford it. I guess what's annoying is that around here, every other person seems to think their kid is an Olympic (or professional) hopeful. And so there aren't many opportunities for those who just want to enjoy sport. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I am so sorry - sports can be very disappointing. The thing that has helped me through about a 1000 excruciating two hour tennis matches over the years is silently chanting, 'failure is good' .... 'losing is a gift.' I am not a sporty person, and it had been painful for me to have a competitive tennis player. But at 17, I can see what tennis has given him. Lots of experience winning, lots of experience losing, and countless opportunities to test himself. Many people never have a painful failure until they are adults, and they don't know how to recover. My son had lost more than almost any one I know - and won more too. It's absolutely not an even playing field. It can't be. There are always kids with more natural ability, more money to invest, etc. All of life is that way, so again, the hard things are opportunities for our children to grow as people. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Thanks for the empathy, you guys. It was encouraging to read that by high school, kids with passion and talent (but not pricey lessons) CAN still compete. That helped me have vision to keep seeking opportunities for ds to play, and to do all I can to protect his love for the sport, even if he can't play at the "elite" level right now. He definitely can compete! Look at the collegiate and professional baseball levels--the majority of those kids didn't grow up wealthy. :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 For things like music lessons, you don't have to hire a private teacher just to get good enough to be picked to take lessons. I can understand the frustration. When there's a limited number of slots for something and only kids from wealthy families get to do it, it's frustrating for everyone else. I think it's a problem with the system more than anything else. Yes, there are elite teachers and music schools where you do have to hire private teachers to be good enough to be picked to take lessons. It happens in everything and is just a part of life. There will always be people who have more talent, more opportunity, more passion, more money to invest, more access to better teachers/coaches, better location, put in more work, etc… Those who "make it" to the elite spots in (insert activity of choice) just happen to have the right combination of factors and have some luck/good fortune on top of that. It is a shame there are not more recreational, "for fun" programs around for kids. Wanted to add: I think it is wonderful when parents do whatever they can to help their child to follow their passion and I know parents who do seemingly crazy things for their kids (I could be included in this). It is frustrating when it is the parent's "passion" they are forcing their child to follow to the exclusion of activities the child might actually be interested in. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I do not miss hockey, the cost is insane. I'm getting closer to that point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nart Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Pay to Play. That is the problem with so many sports now. But if you look around sometime you can find cheaper sports in nearby areas. The local club soccer team charges 1900 dollars a year for U8 a year if you pay in one installment, if you want payments then you end up paying 2200. Then you also have to put down a 250 dollar volunteer deposit. Our family drives into a neighboring town to play in a Hispanic league where the costs are only league fees since most of the coaches don't charge anything. The practice fields are just city parks and there aren't lighted fields. It cost us 150 dollars for league fees for summer, fall, spring, and winter seasons and a uniform. The club teams end up recruiting kids in the Hispanic league because the kids are so good. ETA: It isn't 150 dollars per season, it was 150 dollars for the year. Plus two or three dollars a game we paid for the referee fees. The coach's wife collected that just before half time to give to the ref. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 What I've observed is how early it starts. For example, a co-worker's son was disappointed last year because he decided he'd like to play football and he was told he was too old to start. Third grade. Third. DH had been the poor kid around the kid's whose parents spent lots of money on the sport. He is convinced that spending money on the elite club leagues is ridiculous if you think your kid can go pro. If your kid is good enough to have a chance at pro, the rest of the team will be willing to cover the costs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 DH had been the poor kid around the kid's whose parents spent lots of money on the sport. He is convinced that spending money on the elite club leagues is ridiculous if you think your kid can go pro. If your kid is good enough to have a chance at pro, the rest of the team will be willing to cover the costs. Could you maybe explain the above? I read it a few times and I guess I'm confused by your meaning! I agree with your dh though. Elite club fees are a waste. We chose house hockey here (which still costs $1000 a season). But there really is no viable path to pro hockey here, no matter what level one plays at. That's due to a combination of factors, namely politics and corporate control of all youth hockey in this area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Hi, my kid works with a personal trainer and is heavily involved in his sport of choice. He is not going to the olympics, my budget cannot afford it and while he does fine, his health is such that he is unable to get to the elite level. He even works to pay for more lessons. He has a personal trainer because he wants one. Since he was 6. Yes, six. I put him off as long as possible. I finally gave in. Many kids would love that advantage. It's not like OP's kids or my kids don't get it because they don't want it. It's because we don't have the money. So your son gets on the team because you have more money. And yet it's supposed to be dedication and effort. But it's not. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Many kids would love that advantage. It's not like OP's kids or my kids don't get it because they don't want it. It's because we don't have the money. So your son gets on the team because you have more money. And yet it's supposed to be dedication and effort. But it's not. Don't be so quick to make such assumptions about her. Some people make some very difficult choices to spare the money for their kid's opportunities. You may choose other priorities and I totally get that. But the fact she has gotten lessons for her ds in no way equates him not putting effort into his sports. In fact, knowing her and her ds in real life, I know her son faces more challenges than most kids. You really have no clue about others' personal circumstances. 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nart Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Many kids would love that advantage. It's not like OP's kids or my kids don't get it because they don't want it. It's because we don't have the money. So your son gets on the team because you have more money. And yet it's supposed to be dedication and effort. But it's not. It is never fair in sports. One kid gets on the team because his parent has money. Another kid makes the team because he is the kid of a board member of that sports league. Another one gets on the team because he is the coach's kid. My friend's kid got on the team because he had portable lights and a pickup truck and was willing to set up portable lights so the team could practice in the winter after dark. Another kid is on the team because his dad or mom played a sport professionally or at a top college and they practice with their kid. One kid made the team because he is the best friend of the coach's kid. Another kid made the team because the coach looked at the parents of the kid and realized his mom is 5'11" and his dad is 6'5" and the kid has the genetic potential to be really tall and that would eventually benefit the team. ETA: I forgot one more- kids who have birthdays right after the cut-off for that sport, usually Jan.-March birthdays so they are the oldest kids (my kids have December birthdays, which really aren't good for many sports). The same can be said for college. Some people can pay full price for any college in the US and can pay for tutors. Someone has to pay full price and almost all colleges are NOT need blind. So my those kids have a huge advantage. It also isn't a fair competition if your parents are highly educated compared to kids whose parents never graduated high school. Life isn't fair. If the PP wants to pay for private coaching for her kid, good for her. It makes their family happy. If her kid makes the team over another kid, that's life. ETA: I wasn't referring to OP's kid, I was referring to the PP who pays for private training for her child even though it isn't for a spot on an elite team. In regards to OP, I really am sorry, it isn't an even playing field, especially when a team coach is the one conducting the private training. The coach is going to want to pick the kid whose parents lined his pockets. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 It is never fair in sports. One kid gets on the team because his parent has money. Another kid makes the team because he is the kid of a board member of that sports league. Another one gets on the team because he is the coach's kid. My friend's kid got on the team because he had portable lights and a pickup truck and was willing to set up portable lights so the team could practice in the winter after dark. Another kid is on the team because his dad or mom played a sport professionally or at a top college and they practice with their kid. One kid made the team because he is the best friend of the coach's kid. Another kid made the team because the coach looked at the parents of the kid and realized his mom is 5'11" and his dad is 6'5" and the kid has the genetic potential to be really tall and that would eventually benefit the team. The same can be said for college. Some people can pay full price for any college in the US and can pay for tutors. Someone has to pay full price and almost all colleges are NOT need blind. So my those kids have a huge advantage. It also isn't a fair competition if your parents are highly educated compared to kids whose parents never graduated high school. Life isn't fair. If the PP wants to pay for private coaching for her kid, good for her. It makes their family happy. If her kid makes the team over another kid, that's life. Isn't that a nice thing to say when someone's facing disadvantage. Would you say that to someone who's kid was sick? "Yeah, well some people die early, you know. Life's not fair." "Yeah, well you know 50% of pregnancies end in the first trimester. Life's not fair." "Oh, your child didn't get a scholarship because she's Asian and you went to college and scholarships go to first generation poor kids? Life's not fair you know." I mean come ON. What kind of post is that? We all know life isn't fair, but the definition of fair has to do with what we think ought to be. If all people are equal in rights and intrinsic worth, and if all children should be judged on sports merit and hard work (versus parental income) then it is natural to be upset that that is not the case. And indeed, there are many areas where you can join a lot of rec clubs and move from there into elite clubs, but many other areas don't have that pathway, and it sucks. It's not as though it couldn't be different for OP, if she lived in a different area. It totally could. Hence her complaint. "Life's not fair." Who says that but the extremely privileged? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
extendedforecast Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 YUCK. My neighbor pays 1400 a month for gymnastics lessons for her daughter. Crazy. I am sorry your son didn't get in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 Is there another, recreational type team, your DS can play on and that is a take all who want to play kind of team and not nuts about costs, dedication to living the sport, etc? I would go that route, so that your kid can just play and enjoy himself. I agree that the professional parents have about ruined childhood sports, and that's why, despite my kids being very athletic, we just play recreational sports. I will not buy into the nuttiness of professional kid sports. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.