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Parents of Identical Twins:


Mandylubug
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Do they argue with you about looking alike? Mine seem to think everyone is insane and they think they look nothing alike.

 

I don't have twins, but this made me :lol: .  One of my boys is highly argumentative about how much he looks like his brothers...I can't imagine the level if he was an identical!

 

They also seem to be wading waters with new friends and some friends wanting to pick the "best" twin and put them against the other. Mean girl drama in our neighborhood has hit and trying to put twin against twin..

And this made me :cursing: .  UGH!

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One of the best things I read here many years ago was about teaching our children how to live in family. Most of their lives they will live in a family and they need to learn to be kind. Having different friends is different than being cut out with drama. It sounds like they both are being manipulated. If there was anything I would do differently it would have been to separate our family from the *drama team* before it got to horrible and counseling.  :grouphug:

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I have a friend who could tell hers apart in the dark. she's the only one who didn't think they looked alike.

Haha I can tell them apart by their voice, their laughs, their likes, even their handwriting. Now calling on the phone, that is another topic. I can't tell a difference over the phone hahaha I've tried multiple times and fail. There are moments throughout the weej when I will look at a twin and think wow you look like your sister today. I typically don't see their twinness, if that makes sense.

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One of the best things I read here many years ago was about teaching our children how to live in family. Most of their lives they will live in a family and they need to learn to be kind. Having different friends is different than being cut out with drama. It sounds like they both are being manipulated. If there was anything I would do differently it would have been to separate our family from the *drama team* before it got to horrible and counseling. :grouphug:

Yes, we have learned that twins draw attention. Even in social circles. It seems some girls gravitate to them and enjoy manipulating them. We learned of some manipulation from another little girl at co-op. It never had crossed my mind prior to watch for that. Their bond has been so special. I want them to grow into their own personality and person. However, I can't watch drama manipulate their bond either.

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That's too bad about the difficulties of developing positive friendships with others, while maintaining a good relationship with one's sibling. It's not always easy to do, even when you aren't twins. Sometimes the differences in personalities and interests make it easier to be friends with some people over others. This doesn't always indicate that young children are intentionally being manipulative. A child may not be able to think through the entire situation thoroughly enough to avoid making a blunder. 

 

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Haha I can tell them apart by their voice, their laughs, their likes, even their handwriting. 

 

 

I'm an identical twin mom.  I can also tell them apart by their voice and laughs.  That is interesting to me.

 

But, for your original question.  No, my twins look alike, and they know it.  Their Grandmothers cannot tell them apart, even though they see the twins frequently.

 

What bothers them is when random strangers come up and ask if they are twins.  Seriously, their looks are fairly identical.  Duh.  Figure it out.

 

And, they get tired of aquaintences coming up and saying, "Are you ______"  

 

And, they get REALLY tired of being asked which is oldest.  Because you know it just doesn't matter.

 

I'm sorry you are going through drama with friends. My twins are boys, maybe that helps them avoid drama.  

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Mine insist they don't look alike.  They do.  One has a slightly longer face, and the other is a fraction of an inch taller.  

 

One of mine really dislikes being a twin.  She hates that they seem to share friends.  She is not nearly as outgoing as her twin, and feels like everyone likes her sister better.  She seeks out activities that do not involve her sister.  That said, they do share some of their closest friends.  I've never seen them actually fight over friends.  

 

They don't really like the attention being a twin gets them either.  Although, sometimes it is even worse for us.  My oldest looks a lot like them, as does my niece.  They are all tall too. We can't enter a room unnoticed.  They all look like they are the same age, so I often get asked if they are quads or triplets, depending on who is with me.  

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My grandma is an identical twin and until she was an adult she thought she and her sister didn't look that much alike. Then they were in a store and Grandma thought she was walking toward her sister, she was walking toward a mirror.

 

In their 80s they still look very much alike but very different too. Looking back at pictures from their 20s and younger I can't tell them apart at all. My grandma always knows which person she is in the picture but I have no way of knowing if she's correct.

 

I knew a set of identical brothers in college. I thought they were spitting images of each other until I got to know them, then they looked nothing alike.

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Well, my twins are obviously NOT identical (DUH, but you'd be amazed how many times I get asked that, really, it's sad), but they argue over how much they do look alike! (they don't at all, 1 looks like DH, 1 looks like me, except both have the same hair color/thickness)

They like being twins and just recently were shocked to find out that not everyone has a twin. They thought DS11 and DD8 were twins. When we explained it a bit further (they knew they grew in my tummy together), they decided to hold twin classes so they could teach DS11 and DD8 how "to be twins".

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My boys are almost certainly identical and they *don't* look alike to me! I just asked them if they think they look alike and they cracked up and said, "No!"

 

But they've done things over the years to be different. One has long hair, the other short. One has been doing ballet since as soon as he could and it has shaped him in some ways so his body is sort of different. They have different expressions. I mean, when you're just the same, the little things become amplified.

 

In the last year, we've had a lot more experiences where someone who knows only one of them meets the other one and is floored by the resemblance. I think it's pretty funny how struck they are. I forget that they look just alike.

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I have girls 18 months apart so I have insight on the looking alike thing (they look nothing alike) but I have always emphasized to them the importance of their relationship, that friendships come and go but sisters are forever. And that they better not side with a friend against a sister.

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I'm 5'4, my brother is 6'2. We are 2 1/2 years apart. People have asked us if we are twins. Bizarre!!!

 

I always think of Danny Devito and Arnold Schwarznegger :)

 

I don't even think we look remotely alike but at a party with people who don't know me, will ask if he is my brother. So bizarre to me.

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I had friends in college who were identical twins. They dressed differently and had different hairstyles. They said that when they were together on a regular basis, they differentiated their looks, but when they were apart for a semester or so, they started looking more similar.

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My mom and her sister are identical twins. They are highly offended if anyone suggests it, though! :lol:  They have always insisted that they are fraternal twins, but it is obvious to anyone who looks at them that they are identical.

 

There was a nurse at our pediatrician's office that told the story that they were told all their life that they were fraternal twins....they just happened to look alike.

 

One Christmas for their present they got a DNA test.  Everyone voted on what they thought.  Turns out, they really were identical.  She said it was a pretty fun present.

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I have three children who are close in age, and I have been asked often if they are twins or triplets. Nope. They are not even biologically related. Even so, there was someone who constantly called them "the triplets" when they were preschool age :confused1: .

 

My best friend throughout middle school and high school was an identical twin. Before I knew her, I couldn't tell them apart. In fact, my first words to her were, "Which one are you?" After that, I never confused them. Even though they were identical and wore their hair the same way, they were just distinctly different from one another. They did not share the same group of friends; one was in advanced classes, and one was not; and they had different interests and hobbies. In all the years that we were friends, my best friend's twin never once hung out with our group or even sat at our lunch table. I don't think they made an effort to be different from one another -- they just were. I don't think that anyone that knew them even a little would ever mistake one for the other.

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3 of my brothers look alike. They are close in age, but not twins and they look very, very alike.

If you look at pictures of them as children they looked like the same person, at different stages of his life--its uncanny, like Mother had a single template for a male child so all her boys looked that way.

 

They were often confused one for the other and people would ask if they were twins/triplets depending on who was having a growth spurt when. Once they were school age relatives would have a hard time telling them apart. It didn't help that mother dressed them in similar clothing and that the younger 2 were always in the eldests hand me downs. My sister and I look very different.

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I'm 5'4, my brother is 6'2. We are 2 1/2 years apart. People have asked us if we are twins. Bizarre!!!

 

I always think of Danny Devito and Arnold Schwarznegger :)

 

I don't even think we look remotely alike but at a party with people who don't know me, will ask if he is my brother. So bizarre to me.

I knew twins in college who were 4'10" (girl) and 6'3" (boy) so it can happen! Though it does seem odd to leap to twins. Sometimes it's not a specific matching look so much as an expression or speech pattern that makes siblings obvious.

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I like to tease my b/g twins when they are dressed in matching shirts, "hey, you guys look like twins!" "Mo-oom!"

 

My younger went through a phase where she wanted me to change her birthdate so they could be triplets. This was complicated by the fact that we had just gone through a hassle to correct her birthdate on her birth certificate, so she didn't completely believe me when I said we couldn't do it.

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My dad is an identical twin, and they knew they looked alike! They have some stories from high school and college...

 

When my dad picks up a voicemail from himself (like he called the house phone and left a message for his wife), he thinks it's his brother.

 

Outside of their mother, I'm the only person I know who has never mistaken them. They don't look/sound alike to me. But my sibs/cousins? Even their wives, on occasion... They now look pretty different (weights/hair styles) but it's amazing how often one will be approached by people thinking he's the other one.

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No to the arguing. And even though one wears glasses, people still confuse them. It doesn't seem to bother them. I can easily tell them apart of course, but not other identical twins. So I can't really get too upset when people mess up my boys, even after years. Their fraternal triplet sister though is fantastic about telling other identicals apart.

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Mine know they look alike. There are enough people who see them regularly who still can't tell them apart that they would be foolish to deny it. They no longer usually dress alike, and they style their hair differently most days, but they still confer about haircuts and insist that their hair is cut exactly alike so if they want to look completely identical they can. 

 

I don't think they look that much alike anymore and can tell them apart in almost every circumstance- except tiny baby photos. I couldn't tell them apart very well before 5 months and I still can't tell them apart at that age unless I have a memory or marked the picture at the time. 

 

As for the mean-girl drama, we've had some of that. The worst was actually with another set of identical girl twins who should have known better. My twins have been pretty good about not falling for any of that if it's directed at the two of them. They like each other better than any potential friend! Our problem is more of getting the twins to let other kids into their circle.

 

Some people have always asked if their little sister is a triplet which blows my mind! She's 3 yrs younger, a head shorter, and 30lbs lighter! She looks similar to them but not identical! 

 

 

 

 

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Mine know they look alike. There are enough people who see them regularly who still can't tell them apart that they would be foolish to deny it. They no longer usually dress alike, and they style their hair differently most days, but they still confer about haircuts and insist that their hair is cut exactly alike so if they want to look completely identical they can. 

 

I don't think they look that much alike anymore and can tell them apart in almost every circumstance- except tiny baby photos. I couldn't tell them apart very well before 5 months and I still can't tell them apart at that age unless I have a memory or marked the picture at the time. 

 

As for the mean-girl drama, we've had some of that. The worst was actually with another set of identical girl twins who should have known better. My twins have been pretty good about not falling for any of that if it's directed at the two of them. They like each other better than any potential friend! Our problem is more of getting the twins to let other kids into their circle.

 

Some people have always asked if their little sister is a triplet which blows my mind! She's 3 yrs younger, a head shorter, and 30lbs lighter! She looks similar to them but not identical! 

 

My boys don't look like my twins, are both differing heights and weights and I am asked constantly if I had quadruplets. I don't get it either.

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I remember meeting an elderly friend of my mil.  She said that she had an identical twin sister and that when they were babies someone mixed them up during a bath, iirc.  So she's not sure if she is herself or her sister. She laughed about it, so I guess I can, too.   :lol:

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I remember meeting an elderly friend of my mil.  She said that she had an identical twin sister and that when they were babies someone mixed them up during a bath, iirc.  So she's not sure if she is herself or her sister. She laughed about it, so I guess I can, too.   :lol:

 

I was so worried about that when mine were little! I had several layers of protection in place to prevent it so I can be confident it never happened. I used to worry that if DH and I were killed in a crash or something that NOBODY would know who was who with the babies even up to when they were 1yr+ because none of our other relatives could tell them apart until they were much older and DS was so little and not really a reliable reporter. It seems a little crazy now, but I was sleep deprived. Even then I had a couple of times when I freaked out for a few minutes and thought I had no idea who was who. The first time, the EMS who transported them to a new hospital put them in the same bed with no ID bracelets on (feet were too little). I had no idea who was who for sure until I remembered one baby had a head shaved for an IV and the other didn't. :lol: Then it was obvious! The other time, when they were older and I was no longer painting their nails to tell them apart,  I couldn't find my identifying birth mark on one of them- it turned out when the baby gained weight, the birth mark moved! 

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I was so worried about that when mine were little! I had several layers of protection in place to prevent it so I can be confident it never happened. I used to worry that if DH and I were killed in a crash or something that NOBODY would know who was who with the babies even up to when they were 1yr+ because none of our other relatives could tell them apart until they were much older and DS was so little and not really a reliable reporter. It seems a little crazy now, but I was sleep deprived. Even then I had a couple of times when I freaked out for a few minutes and thought I had no idea who was who. The first time, the EMS who transported them to a new hospital put them in the same bed with no ID bracelets on (feet were too little). I had no idea who was who for sure until I remembered one baby had a head shaved for an IV and the other didn't. :lol: Then it was obvious! The other time, when they were older and I was no longer painting their nails to tell them apart,  I couldn't find my identifying birth mark on one of them- it turned out when the baby gained weight, the birth mark moved! 

 

I don't have twins, but I hear you on the sleep deprived.  One night when dd12 was only a few months old, dh brought her to me in the middle of the night so that I could nurse her, and I said, "How do I know it's my baby?"  I totally would have mixed up identical twins.

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I was so worried about that when mine were little! I had several layers of protection in place to prevent it so I can be confident it never happened. I used to worry that if DH and I were killed in a crash or something that NOBODY would know who was who with the babies even up to when they were 1yr+ because none of our other relatives could tell them apart until they were much older and DS was so little and not really a reliable reporter. It seems a little crazy now, but I was sleep deprived. Even then I had a couple of times when I freaked out for a few minutes and thought I had no idea who was who. The first time, the EMS who transported them to a new hospital put them in the same bed with no ID bracelets on (feet were too little). I had no idea who was who for sure until I remembered one baby had a head shaved for an IV and the other didn't. :lol: Then it was obvious! The other time, when they were older and I was no longer painting their nails to tell them apart,  I couldn't find my identifying birth mark on one of them- it turned out when the baby gained weight, the birth mark moved! 

 

We had custom made bracelets with their names on them that did not get taken off, even for baths. Ladies at the church nursery appreciated the bracelets, too. I do remember one freak out moment before we had bracelets but we had to sit together and talk it through to figure out which babe was who. We did finally reach a conclusion and was confident in our situation. After that, we assigned a color system. One girl always got the most feminine color. The other twin always wore the secondary feminine color. It worked for us but now that they are older, family members will ask "which one is pink girl" or "where is purple girl?"

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Do they argue with you about looking alike? Mine seem to think everyone is insane and they think they look nothing alike.

 

I was thinking about this.  They probably don't often see themselves together like other people do.  Have they stood next to each other in front of a mirror so that they can see what they look like together?  Maybe then it would be more clear to them why people think they look so much alike.

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I don't have twins, but I hear you on the sleep deprived. One night when dd12 was only a few months old, dh brought her to me in the middle of the night so that I could nurse her, and I said, "How do I know it's my baby?" I totally would have mixed up identical twins.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Back when dh was in the military, there were identical twins, slightly younger and lower in rank. It was truly impossible to tell them apart since they wore similar style clothing and the same military haircut. Rumors flew that occasionally they exchanged bases (they were stationed in neighboring bases about 2 hours distance). Dh always said he could not tell them apart and whoever reported for duty seemed to know what they were doing. He therefore stuck by the principle of "Don't ask, don't tell."

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Twin stories from our house:

1. We left ours with auntie for a couple hours when they were about one year old. We failed to tell them who was who. They both cried the whole time and she wished she knew their names for sure so she could console them better.

 

2. They once swapped places in a conversation with an elderly friend who is in the habit of talking at length about nothing in particular. One of them sent a text to the other informing him what the topic of conversation was about and they made the switch! (That was one of those, "You did what??!" moments from Mom!)

 

3. When given the vague command like "one of you take this trash out", they will naturally do best 2 out of 3 on rock, paper, scissors. They are 15 and settle many disputes this way.

 

4. The gal behind the counter at an ice cream stand asked if they were twins when she mistakenly tried to hand one the other's order. One of them shrugged and claimed he had never see that other guy. The poor girl was apologetic and the other workers behind her were laughing because it was obvious ds was pulling her leg. An older brother with them cleared the record.

 

5. We have several running family jokes about how we came to have 2 of them instead of just one. All in fun, we tell them we liked the one so well we photo copied him to make another. Or, we were so amazed the baby next to ours at the hospital looked so much like our baby we asked if we could take him home, too.

 

6. Their paternal grandmother always took great pains to know which was which as babies and tots. Grandpa finally admitted he had no idea. He does now, though. Their personalities are very telling.

 

7. When faced with a social situation they are unsure of, one might plunge into it with the glimmer of hope that if it turns out awkwardly people will think he was his twin.

 

It is really funny how twins can look sooooo much alike to other people but look soooo discernably different to their family and close friends.

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One of my girls had a strawberry on her tongue.  I swear it is probably the only way we kept them straight.  There were times that we would pry open mouths to make sure!  But after a while, little things begin to really stand out.  One of my girls had hair that wouldn't lay down at all, so in photos I always look for the one with crazy hair.  One has an ear that does not have a curl in the cartilage at the top.  Once they began to talk, however, it was very obvious who was who since one had a speech impediment and the other did not. Even after speech therapy, their accents are different most of the time.  

 

I cannot tell any of the THREE of my girls apart on the phone though.  And apparently they all sound like me..lol.  

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3 of my brothers look alike. They are close in age, but not twins and they look very, very alike.

If you look at pictures of them as children they looked like the same person, at different stages of his life--its uncanny, like Mother had a single template for a male child so all her boys looked that way.

 

They were often confused one for the other and people would ask if they were twins/triplets depending on who was having a growth spurt when. Once they were school age relatives would have a hard time telling them apart. It didn't help that mother dressed them in similar clothing and that the younger 2 were always in the eldests hand me downs. My sister and I look very different.

 

 

In photos, I can't always tell if I am looking at ds3 or ds10 at the same age. When ds3 was born I took one look and thought "there's ds10!"

 

I'll be interested to see if they still look so much alike as adults.

 

I have 3 girls, each 2 years apart who look very much alike.  And even more-so at the same age (ie. in pictures.)   I am ashamed to admit it - but at times a picture of one of them comes up on a screen saver - and I don't know who it is!  (The youngest started wearing glasses at 20 months though - so that helps....)    They often get called one of the other girls' names at places like church etc.  I'm curious how identical they might look at ages 18/16/14!

 

I just always say that there must be some very strong genes in our family.

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I have identical twin girls. They know they look alike and think it's funny when people can't tell them apart. My mom swears they look nothing alike, but I understand how people get confused. We have family members and church members who still cannot tell them apart. They've always been within 1/2 pound of each other in weight and 1/4 inch in height. Even at birth they were the exact same weight, length, and head circumference!

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There are twin girls at our church (not mine, but they are 15 and I've known them since they were 2). They swear they don't look anything alike. Lol. Now, arguably, one twin weighs about 10-15 pounds more than the other so they have that difference. They also have two different hair cuts, one with short and the other long (and always done in some way). They definitely have different personalities but they STILL look alike. It's obvious to me that they are identical twins (many in our church can't tell the difference between them). So, OP, you aren't alone. Other twins swear the same thing! :)

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Some people have always asked if their little sister is a triplet which blows my mind! She's 3 yrs younger, a head shorter, and 30lbs lighter! She looks similar to them but not identical!

Opposite here. We are never asked this, and dd is the triplet sister! She's a head taller and at least 20 lbs heavier. People always just assume she's s year older.

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Not a parent, but an identical twin.  We do look very much alike but we never argued about it. 

Most of our arguments were about putting on the same outfit while in completely different rooms and who had to go change.  We still do it now, it different homes and towns, we often arrive wearing the exact same thing.  But now we don't care. ;)

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