After 7+ years doing this, I just figured out...

[Rjmakmom]

I'm going through all this great curriculum that I've accumulated over the years, trying to decide what to sell. I have some good stuff! And year after year I swear that THIS is the year it will get used....and year after year it sits on that damned shelf.

And something occurred to me, while boxing up stuff....I do NOT enjoy homeschooling. I LOVE having my kids with me 24/7 and doing all the cool trips and experiences, but the actual slogging through curriculum...I just don't enjoy it. I did love the experience of teaching my kids to read- seeing the light finally come on when the letters started making sense...to this date, my greatest life accomplishment. But the daily battles of school work, busy work, helping, grading, etc...I just don't like it. If we had free online school options in MD like PA does, I'd be signed up so fast your head would spin.

 

Everything I wrote is the truth...and I feel guilty as hell admitting it.

 

I'll go put on my "Bad Homeschool Mom" dunce cap and sit in the corner now.

[bolt.]

If your curriculum (or most of the basic structures of basing education on curriculum) doesn't suit your teaching style, that's just as important as if your materials were unsuited to your children's ability to learn.

 

Change can be good. Try thinking outside the box: maybe you are unschoolers in disguise.

[The Girls' Mom]

I'll have to sit in the guilty corner with you.  I love having kids home.  I love curriculum shopping.  I love planning.  I really, really don't like teaching it.  When I handed my oldest her diploma, there was nothing but relief.  

This is why we shifted to nearly 100% independent work for my younger two during the last years of their high school.  We are all happier for it.  

[Junie]

I like the slogging through curriculum (much more than my dc), but I hate the trips and fun stuff that I want to plan but never actually do.

 

It's ok.  :grouphug:  Don't feel guilty about not liking some of the mundane tasks of teaching.

 

We all have different personalities.  Every job has parts that you like and parts that you don't like, and for each individual that is different, too.

[Rjmakmom]

I would LOVE to unschool- I just don't know what that is supposed to look like. Unless I cattle prod my kids, they don't do anything schooly. My 9yo is obsessed with all things Minecraft and will spend 7 hours in front of the computer watching youtube videos of Stampy Longnose. I timed it one day, thinking surely she would eventually become bored, stiff, tired of sitting...nope. 7 HOURS! 

[catz]

Oh - I do not like that part at all either.  I'm glad I get to experience my kids more and homeschooling has been great for my family in many ways.  But I'm a pretty lazy homeschooler.  I think that's ok.  I've designed our more regular school days to be more hands off for me and try to leave lots of padding so we can go do field trips and the like.  Whatever works for you!

[The Girls' Mom]

I would LOVE to unschool- I just don't know what that is supposed to look like. Unless I cattle prod my kids, they don't do anything schooly. My 9yo is obsessed with all things Minecraft and will spend 7 hours in front of the computer watching youtube videos of Stampy Longnose. I timed it one day, thinking surely she would eventually become bored, stiff, tired of sitting...nope. 7 HOURS! 

 

 

I'm an unschooler at heart.  I think if I had it to do from scratch, maybe I could.  But my kids got a healthy dose of public school before I pulled them out, and we are a tech heavy family.  Mine would DEFINITELY spend all their days vegging.  Well, one child would know everything about CSI and forensics, one would have us all big as barns from all the baking, and one would literally grow roots from her butt to her bed.  They don't generally see learning as fun.  

[Katy]

Don't feel guilty.  Seriously.  This is why I choose mostly self-teaching curriculum, and am just available for the fun, discover & discuss bits and the responsible record-keeping bit. I first found out about home school from Robinson Curriculum, and while I don't share his politics, and we tend towards different math, and I like to include some foreign language at all times, I LOVED his philosophy on self-teaching being the only teaching that matters.  I kept it, even when I joined here & heard horror stories about women teaching for more hours a day than children are typically in public school. I mostly assign and supervise after about third grade level materials, which is why I'm often online in the early morning and late at night.

[Slache]

Why on earth would you feel guilty? You don't like grading papers and struggling and boringness and having to work hard all. the. time. That's ok. It's actually quite normal. I might not be seasoned enough to offer advice, but please don't feel guilty. You're a good mom. That's all that matters.

[solascriptura]

I came to realize the same thing this past year. 

[MercyA]

You have no reason to feel guilty.  I don't homeschool because I love to teach.  I homeschool because it's the best option for my child.  It can be tedious, no doubt!  The fact that you love being with your kids 24/7 makes me think you're doing it right.   :)

[bethben]

I've realized very quickly that I don't like grading papers either.  So, my solution is to have my soon to be high schooler do a majority of his work with an online school.  He is mostly independent.  I've also decided that once the rest of my kids hit 6th grade, I am putting them into online schools for writing because that is my weakest subject.

 

My guilt mostly stems from the lack of field trips and "fun" stuff.  I'm good at going through the curriculum and even to a point enjoy it.  Field trips, crafts, projects...ARG!  So this year we moved and I found a charter school that has a homeschool day.  They do the field trips, the messy art, messy science, and all the stuff I never get to do with them.  I feel guilty about that!  I should not be so excited to have a free drop off program where I can have a day almost to myself right?

[purplejackmama]

I've also decided that once the rest of my kids hit 6th grade, I am putting them into online schools for writing because that is my weakest subject

Do you have an online school you really like for writing?

[Junie]

 I found a charter school that has a homeschool day.  They do the field trips, the messy art, messy science, and all the stuff I never get to do with them.  I feel guilty about that!  I should not be so excited to have a free drop off program where I can have a day almost to myself right?

 

That sounds fantastic!!  Messy?  Drop-off?!  FREE?!!!  I would be so there!

[bethben]

We use Potter's school for writing and those subjects that require more interaction from kids/teachers.  My 14 year old has done a Narnia English class and this year is doing an English 2 class along with Apologetics/ Logic.  They have classes starting in 4th (?) grade.  I think that's a bit young to start farming out subjects but when my next child reaches 6th grade, he will do some sort of writing program.  I have only good things to say about how my ds's writing has improved the two years he's done Potter's school.  They can be a little nitpicky at this age, but I figure if they learn to really look at their writing closely at this age, it can only serve them well later on.  For us, Potter's school is our affordable option for a private school.  

[bethben]

That sounds fantastic!!  Messy?  Drop-off?!  FREE?!!!  I would be so there!

 

Where we moved to, homeschooling is pretty mainstream.  If I told you all the options the numerous charter schools around here offer homeschoolers, it would make your head spin and you would soon be my new neighbor.  I'm not sure what's in it for them, but I will happily take part.  

[Kari C in SC]

I have just completed year 16 of homeschooling. Over the last couple of years, I have struggled with liking the trudge through curriculum. We put our daughter in one online class this past year and I am not thinking this is the way we will move toward with our youngest son. Our daughter will do 3 online classes next year and then dual enroll her senior year. Our youngest son will do 5th and 6th me and start some online classes in 7th. At the moment, I am content with this path and looking forward to have less instruction time with my kids and more just being their mom.

[Junie]

Where we moved to, homeschooling is pretty mainstream.  If I told you all the options the numerous charter schools around here offer homeschoolers, it would make your head spin and you would soon be my new neighbor.  I'm not sure what's in it for them, but I will happily take part.  

 

Will you help me pack? :)

[Cinder]

Well, I'm right there with you. I actually loved homeschooling my sons, researching curriculum, planning the weeks and years, actually going through the stuff with them. But both went off to "building school" as dd calls it (school in a building vs home) for high school, and now it's just dd and me, and I realize I no longer enjoy schooling. I've occasionally considered unschooling but I don't think I have the right personality to do it well.

[PrincessMommy]

I always enjoyed reading aloud - even when they were old enough to read themselves.  And, I enjoyed teaching when they were younger... but my last 2 had learning difficulties... it.was.a.chore.  It was a relief when I retired from homeschooling.  I miss having my kids around during the day (esp. now that most have left the nest), but I do not miss homeschooling... at all.

 

[Southern Ivy]

I'm going through all this great curriculum that I've accumulated over the years, trying to decide what to sell. I have some good stuff! And year after year I swear that THIS is the year it will get used....and year after year it sits on that damned shelf.

And something occurred to me, while boxing up stuff....I do NOT enjoy homeschooling. I LOVE having my kids with me 24/7 and doing all the cool trips and experiences, but the actual slogging through curriculum...I just don't enjoy it. I did love the experience of teaching my kids to read- seeing the light finally come on when the letters started making sense...to this date, my greatest life accomplishment. But the daily battles of school work, busy work, helping, grading, etc...I just don't like it. If we had free online school options in MD like PA does, I'd be signed up so fast your head would spin.

 

Everything I wrote is the truth...and I feel guilty as hell admitting it.

 

I'll go put on my "Bad Homeschool Mom" dunce cap and sit in the corner now.

 

That doesn't make you a bad homeschool mom. I am a PS teacher right now and I hate those things too! :) 

You can't love everything about every job. There's always something you won't like. 

[merry gardens]

I'm going through all this great curriculum that I've accumulated over the years, trying to decide what to sell. I have some good stuff! And year after year I swear that THIS is the year it will get used....and year after year it sits on that damned shelf.

And something occurred to me, while boxing up stuff....I do NOT enjoy homeschooling. I LOVE having my kids with me 24/7 and doing all the cool trips and experiences, but the actual slogging through curriculum...I just don't enjoy it. I did love the experience of teaching my kids to read- seeing the light finally come on when the letters started making sense...to this date, my greatest life accomplishment. But the daily battles of school work, busy work, helping, grading, etc...I just don't like it. If we had free online school options in MD like PA does, I'd be signed up so fast your head would spin.

 

Everything I wrote is the truth...and I feel guilty as hell admitting it.

 

I'll go put on my "Bad Homeschool Mom" dunce cap and sit in the corner now.

The "daily battles of school work" exist outside of homeschooling. If you're struggling to get your child to do work as a homeschooler, don't think that battle would just go away if the child were enrolled in school. Some people have "daily battles" to get their children out of bed and off to school, then after school the battle resumes as the parents try to get the child to do homework and turn it into the teacher. On-line learning sounds tempting, you write? There's work that needs to be done in order to pass the classes too. Homeschooling or not, some children need a great deal of help from their parents in order to get through school with passing grades.

 

You're not a bad homeschooling mom for not enjoying daily battles. That doesn't make you a bad mom at all! What kind of mom enjoys daily battles with their kids over school work? But the only part of the problem you described that's unique to homeschooling is grading. 

 

[Gentlemommy]

Well, I love the actual school part, I love curriculum, books, ideas, and planning...but really don't enjoy that I am with my kids 24/7.😳 I'm very (VERY) introverted, and their little kid energy and incessant needing/talking really drains me. I have to really work hard to be present and patient. It doesn't help that dh is gone a lot and I'm often the only adult here for weeks on end. My ideal world would be to have a solid three hours alone every day. And another person here to help with chauffeuring, errands, or watching the other kids while I drive one somewhere. 😳

[redsquirrel]

I have to say that it was a bit of a relief to send ds1 off to public high school. I love homeschooling, I love the teaching, I love everything about it.  But I was looking at 4 long hard years of high school. My plan was to pay a fortune and enroll him in as many online courses as possible. WTMA for writing and history, K12 for science and math, something else for Latin and Spanish. When he told me he wanted to try high school, I was actually relieved. That doesn't make me a bad mom, or even a bad homeschooler, it makes me someone who knows her limitations.

 

I have a few friends who enrolled their kids b/c homeschooling wasn't going well. The battles were defining their relationship and it was just awful. In all cases but 1 things got a whole lot better. It did relieve some pressure and made life for everyone a lot easier and peaceful.

 

Not everyone wants to be a homeschooler and that is ok! Not everyone wants to be a stay at home parent and that is ok as well. I would never, ever tell anyone that being a homeschooling parent is 'better' than sending your kids to school if you don't want to be a homeschooler, just like I would never say that being a stay at home parent is better.

 

And my kid has had a really good experience at high school. He is getting a more challenging education that I would have provided him on my own, and I think comparable to what he would have done in an online classroom. He has made some good friends and had some great teachers. He has also had to learn some really important skills. And while we do have to help him manage his homework it is very, very different from being the parent/teacher. Very different and much more enjoyable.

[JennyD]

FWIW, I absolutely love the teaching/facilitating/learning together part of homeschooling.  I so enjoy working through something, anything, with them.

 

But this?

 

 I LOVE having my kids with me 24/7 

 

 

Is ever so much harder for me.  So hats off to you, mama.  Too bad we can't average it all out between us somehow.  

[Mom-ninja.]

Tell you what, you come teach my youngest to read and I will grade your kids' work. I hate teaching reading. With a passion. It's like finger nails on a chalk board. 

 

Oh, I also hate to bake with my kids. Can't stand it. Lose my patience every time. 

 

I've also been known to lock myself in the room to get away from my kids. 

 

[Guest]

Don't feel guilty. Seriously. This is why I choose mostly self-teaching curriculum, and am just available for the fun, discover & discuss bits and the responsible record-keeping bit. I first found out about home school from Robinson Curriculum, and while I don't share his politics, and we tend towards different math, and I like to include some foreign language at all times, I LOVED his philosophy on self-teaching being the only teaching that matters. I kept it, even when I joined here & heard horror stories about women teaching for more hours a day than children are typically in public school. I mostly assign and supervise after about third grade level materials, which is why I'm often online in the early morning and late at night.

Wait. Katy? I want to know about this. Cause I looked up this curriculum (and I do recall seeing it before) and that dude is...unusual. Oh, hell, he's a kook, I think. OTOH, I have been very much wanting to "automate" what I'm doing more for DS10, so I am open if there's help for me in this Kook's curriculum. Can you carry out the curriculum even if you think he's a kook?

[redsquirrel]

Wait. Katy? I want to know about this. Cause I looked up this curriculum (and I do recall seeing it before) and that dude is...unusual. Oh, hell, he's a kook, I think. OTOH, I have been very much wanting to "automate" what I'm doing more for DS10, so I am open if there's help for me in this Kook's curriculum. Can you carry out the curriculum even if you think he's a kook?

 

He's a kook who wants you to mail him your urine.  Really. Look it up.

[kewb]

And this is why a use a curriculum that involves them teaching themselves. I am there to answer questions.

 

I wish I enjoyed teaching high school more or was a capable unschooler. If I didn't buy a curriculum my oldest would only study how to be an expert gamer and my youngest would study how to be the best instagrammer.

[Guest]

He's a kook who wants you to mail him your urine. Really. Look it up.

Will he be checking it for sugar?

[Joyofsixreboot]

I teach my kids because I want them to have a good education. I don't actually enjoy it. Well, it's not teaching I mind, it's students who won't find everything as interesting as I do. I would make a great homeschool student, LOL. My kids just want to do the least I will allow and go back to manga and crafting and YouTube.

[redsquirrel]

Will he be checking it for sugar?

 

He's never really said why he wants our precious bodily fluids

[Joyofsixreboot]

Wait. Katy? I want to know about this. Cause I looked up this curriculum (and I do recall seeing it before) and that dude is...unusual. Oh, hell, he's a kook, I think. OTOH, I have been very much wanting to "automate" what I'm doing more for DS10, so I am open if there's help for me in this Kook's curriculum. Can you carry out the curriculum even if you think he's a kook?

Not on the Robinson kook train, LOL, but I use CLE math, reading and LA because it is written to the kid. I just answer/explain as necessary. At about 5th/6th I farm out writing. I'm too picky. My 11 yo likes to do everything herself so just reads her history and science and I give her a quiz. The first grader though. ack!

[Guest]

Not on the Robinson kook train, LOL, but I use CLE math, reading and LA because it is written to the kid. I just answer/explain as necessary. At about 5th/6th I farm out writing. I'm too picky. My 11 yo likes to do everything herself so just reads her history and science and I give her a quiz. The first grader though. ack!

What I really wish I had was a History and a Science program that is set up like MUS. Watch the awesome teacher on the video, then do the lesson. Four-day-a-week format, with optional fifth day enrichment. Thirty lessons makes a level.

 

Math is the one thing I have felt we have optimally working over the past 13 years (it's been that long??) of homeschooling.

[solascriptura]

What I really wish I had was a History and a Science program that is set up like MUS. Watch the awesome teacher on the video, then do the lesson. Four-day-a-week format, with optional fifth day enrichment. Thirty lessons makes a level.

 

Math is the one thing I have felt we have optimally working over the past 13 years (it's been that long??) of homeschooling.

That's exactly what I want!  I use Veritas Press self-paced classes, but would like one for science too.  Anyone found one?