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None of my kids can work independently


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I spend the majority of our summer break working on organizing and prepping curricula for the coming year. This was the ONLY way I had everything "together" enough to finish all of our curricula in a given year. I tear or cut workbook pages out of their binders, 3-hole punch everything, sort them by week, and file them by week into two huge 3-ring binders. Then during the school year, every Sunday afternoon I get out the next week's paperwork, put it into workbox folders by day for each child, and hand write assignments for subjects I don't or can't schedule far in advance (for us, that's math and writing). Everything else is scheduled well in advance, and already on each child's assignment sheet for the week.

 

When life happens, like when my kids both got the flu, we skip a few things but keep going with math and any subjects that involve reading. Even if you are sick, you can still read your science for this week - I'll give you a pass on the notebooking. But we've never been so sick that we couldn't do math and reading.

I only homeschool a single teenager (who has ADD like tendancies, so he's nowhere near independant), but I do this, too. There's no way I'd keep up if I didn't have my year mostly-mapped before we started...

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BTW, I agree about the busy boxes. They just seem to make extra mess. And sensory bins too. Great for creating mass destruction in as little time as possible.

 

I'm listening intently, because this is my life.

Agree with busy boxes! But sensory boxes work really well here and the kids know if they don't STRICTLY follow the rules, they are put away immediately. We have one large tub of dry rice with maybe a pound of red beans added, and one tub plus three trays of kinetic sand. Rice box has some measuring spoons/cups, sand has some sand toys/molds.

 

Best of luck to OP! I sit at the table and get one started, then move to a lesson with the other but remain available to the first. They each have a clipboard of workbook type pages that they are supposed to work on when I'm busy. I use audio books a lot to multi task.

 

Oh, and the 3yo is really starting to play well with the 9month old, so maybe you should just have another baby? 😀

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I think that some people are naturally more independent workers, some can achieve more independence, and some need almost constant supervision to produce quality work. Age is certainly a factor, too. You may need to examine your own expectations of your children, and see if they are accurate according to their personalities and maturity. Not every person fits into the same convenient mold.

Yes, this too. I will say though that my three students (all ADD/ADHD, two highly social, and all 4 kids are disrupt its) can work independently because we accommodate their needs and learning styles. And we have trained at it for several years. For example, one needs silence or white noise in order to stay focused and another needs sounds (constantly humming and chatting, fidgeting with things that are noisy) - I don't have these two work in the same space!

 

One of my kids is a great auditory learner, so I can put the headphones on him and turn on SOTW audio and give him a coloring page and he's set for 15-20 min of history independently (I come back to do review questions with him, narration, etc).

 

My kids tend to like games, so we use them a lot for math review, vocabulary (English and Latin), spelling/phonics, etc. That gets two entertaining each other AND studying.

 

One of my kids is very very social, and I allow her to personify/anthropormophize her school work in order to keep her more engaged while working alone (eg she's doing an activity with cuisenaire rods, and she's allowed to have the rods have conversations with each other - in fact that's how I modeled the activity for her).

 

A set rotation is helpful too. My kids know that after morning basket one does Alcumus (independent), the second plays with preschooler, and the third works semi-independently on BA while I get laundry going and am on retainer for his questions. Again, it takes time, willingness to change what isn't working, and careful observation of your kids' needs and abilities. And don't forget, materials/activities/curriculum that can be used independently.

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One last thing, then I will try to stay quiet. I keep chiming in because I remember having a 4th, 1st, preK4, and newborn and was so excited for the independent, Montessori-style things I had prepared for them! Then, we started school and I realized that not only did the 1st grader have trouble summarizing his self-directed reading, so did the 4th grader. The 4 year old kept trying to "play" with the baby. I found that if I left them to work on the the work mats (I had showed them how to take them down, set their activity on, and clean up after themselves) were always strewn about the room (with their activity materials!) and they were off playing something else when came back after 5 minutes. I tried combining them for things and the 4th grader was insulted to do baby things, the real baby was needing to be fed, and the two who are closest in age were always squabbling. One of my kids would just get up and walk out of the room - right in the middle of a page of work or even while I was talking! I thought there was no way these kids could work independently!

 

My point is, it takes time, but I bet you all can get there! Best wishes!

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Are you students at the right level of MM for them? Have you done placement tests? I am wondering if they might be either in a level too hard or a level too easy and therefore boring. I love and use Math Mammoth, but if your children aren't able to do any problems themselves I would guess that either they are at the wrong level or MM style is a bad fit and trying other programs would be wise.

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LOL Targhee you can obviously feel my pain!

One more thing I didn't notice before - you're after schooling! These kiddos have had to focus all day at school, by the time you try to work with them their focus energy is spent! HSing and after schooling are definitely different, because you get to start the day with you and your students fresh :-)
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Maybe have a "fun" educational subscription, abc mouse.com for youngest or time 4 learning, other computer educational things for others in the rotation? So when working with an older one, youngest gets to go on abc mouse and middle on time for learning or a documentary or salsa Spanish show. Rotate through the day.

 

I use a few take it to your seat books from Amazon. It takes a little effort to cut out ahead of time but I can set them out and it can be 5 min of constructive quiet.

 

We use a lot of books on tape.

 

My best strategy: if you interrupt it's time to do work. I use this for my teacher break though when I want no interruptions. It keeps the kids away while I record and drink coffee 😊

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One more thing I didn't notice before - you're after schooling! These kiddos have had to focus all day at school, by the time you try to work with them their focus energy is spent! HSing and after schooling are definitely different, because you get to start the day with you and your students fresh :-)

 

No---not after schooling. I get them all day, lucky me! They were in PS for a couple of years but I pulled them out.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Pick one habit that, if everyone did consistently, would revolutionize your days. (Play constructively while not doing a lesson...)

 

Communicate that you are going to be working on that.  Then lay out the ground rules for that to happen.  You can be here and not there.  You can get out these things, but not those.  You can do this, but not that.

 

 

Prioritize making that habit a permanent servant to your homeschool.  When that habit is rolling steady, pick up another.  Things will get better. You will get better at choosing needed habits, and keeping them. It helps to sometimes make a new whole-house rule. If we allow something when not in school, but not during lessons...an older child can understand that, but a young one might really struggle. It is sometimes easier to make an across-the-board rule.  

 

 

For older kiddos, do 75% of the math lesson with them, and then leave them to do the 25% alone.  Make sure that the last 25% is stuff they can do, and let them have a break when they are finished.  There is motivation to complete when it's tied to a break.

 

 

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