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The Accidental Coach

Just when you think it's all figured out

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:grouphug:

We are going through something similar right now, except my dd is a junior. I wanted you to know that you're not alone. It's been tough, watching her suffer, the stress of not knowing what's the cause, dealing with the medical red tape, the disappointments, etc. This week I'm meeting with teachers about incompletes and possible alternate assignments. At her school, the AP test is not mandatory and she's opted not to take it. Unfortunately, she'll have to make all of this up in the Fall so her senior year will not be as expected and that, of course, affects her college plans.

 

I wish I had some advice but we're still in the midst of this crisis. I just keep telling myself that we'll get through it eventually. Hang in there.

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:grouphug:

We are going through something similar right now, except my dd is a junior. I wanted you to know that you're not alone. It's been tough, watching her suffer, the stress of not knowing what's the cause, dealing with the medical red tape, the disappointments, etc. This week I'm meeting with teachers about incompletes and possible alternate assignments. At her school, the AP test is not mandatory and she's opted not to take it. Unfortunately, she'll have to make all of this up in the Fall so her senior year will not be as expected and that, of course, affects her college plans.

 

I wish I had some advice but we're still in the midst of this crisis. I just keep telling myself that we'll get through it eventually. Hang in there.

 

I am so sorry that your family is experiencing something similar.  I hope your DD heals quickly and pray her situation can be amended with the least bit of turmoil possible.

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I honestly don't know how you all deal with this when your kids are in ps.  My 10th grader has had a horrible year in terms of being sick.  She has been sick so many times.  She just finished the brutal antibiotic treatment for an ulcer on Friday (one of the reasons she has been feeling so sick) and then tested positive for type A flu last night!  She did school on Monday, but I am guessing the rest of this week is a no-go.  (Her fever yesterday was 104.3.  TOday it is still 102.5.)  We keep getting farther and farther behind, but at least we have no deadlines other than my self-imposed ones.  I cannot imagine just how stressed she would be if she had firm, unflexible ones. 

 

I'm glad you have workable plans.  But, I'll tell you what, I am really starting to think this dd really should not go far away from home for college.  The thought of her having a yr like this at one of the schools she is most interested in , 28 hrs away.....I am assuming she would end up having to withdraw. :(

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:grouphug: My dd2 has had a horrific year of sickness, too.  She got sick in August of last year and was finally diagnosed in January with a chronic illness.  It has been so hard on her, and so hard for those of us who love and care for her.  It has really made me rethink almost everything about school and what is truly important.  I'm so thankful that we've been able to cut down to the bare minimum when necessary and just concentrate on her health.  I'm hoping that those of you with sick kids in school can find solutions that will allow you to do that too.

 

I will also add that it has been surreal dealing with her disappointment at the same time that our oldest dd has been getting college acceptances, so I can only imagine how your son is dealing with everything hitting at once.

 

Here's hoping for healthy days ahead for all our hive teens and rest for weary moms!

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:grouphug: My dd2 has had a horrific year of sickness, too.  She got sick in August of last year and was finally diagnosed in January with a chronic illness.  It has been so hard on her, and so hard for those of us who love and care for her.  It has really made me rethink almost everything about school and what is truly important.  I'm so thankful that we've been able to cut down to the bare minimum when necessary and just concentrate on her health.  I'm hoping that those of you with sick kids in school can find solutions that will allow you to do that too.

 

I will also add that it has been surreal dealing with her disappointment at the same time that our oldest dd has been getting college acceptances, so I can only imagine how your son is dealing with everything hitting at once.

 

Here's hoping for healthy days ahead for all our hive teens and rest for weary moms!

 

:grouphug:  Hugs for you and your DD.

 

I agree about the reassessment of what is important.  I know our perspectives and priorities are changing.

 

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19 days until graduation.

 

The counselor called and has a proposal she thinks will work.  She is going to request an incomplete for college comp.  This will give DS three extra weeks to complete the work.  She believes he will still be able to graduate with his class, keep his NHS standing, and graduate with honors (he is one of 12 to earn this distinction).  He will not receive a diploma and his final transcripts will be withheld until the incomplete is finished.

 

It will be tricky and she is not sure it will be accepted by the registrar but she is willing to try.  If it is accepted, DS will have to continue attending that class after graduation.  He will be the only senior in attendance in a class of 3.  The other two, who are juniors, will have completed the work and will be seat filling.

 

We'll know more by this evening.

 

So, will they let him have the extra 3 weeks? It must be so nerve wracking being right up against the graduation deadline. It sounds like your DS is a real trooper, though.

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So, will they let him have the extra 3 weeks? It must be so nerve wracking being right up against the graduation deadline. It sounds like your DS is a real trooper, though.

 

I don't know yet.  Evidently it's still being discussed by the registrar and the head of academics.  I'm going to contact the counselor again today.  It seems like things happen in spurts when it comes to the school.  :glare:   They want info from us ASAP but take their sweet time in returning calls or making decisions.

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Just heard back from the counselor. The incomplete has been denied for the time being; it will be granted if he has another hospitalization. They are suggesting he drop the class and register for something else that would satisfy the credit. Evidently DS told the counselor he doesn't want to drop so I guess it's forge ahead as he has been. That gives him 15 days to write two 5 page papers and a 15 page paper and finish catching up in AP Chem.

 

That sounds a bit ominous to me. The only saving grace is that the 15 page paper is an extension of the two shorter papers so no new research would need to be done. Just a lot of writing.

Is he normally a good, meticulous writer? I might point out that good enough is good enough. There is nothing wrong with a B or C if he'd normally be trying for an A.

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Just heard back from the counselor.  The incomplete has been denied for the time being; it will be granted if he has another hospitalization.   

 

That is ridiculous!! 

 

I'm sorry they aren't being more reasonable. 

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Well, a PowerPoint is just a fancy way of outlining. He could do the powerpoint, then dictate the paper from that (there are text to speech programs, Siri, etc.)

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Wow, I'm surprised they won't grant the incomplete. :confused1:

I like Janet's PowerPoint & dictation idea if that makes it easier for him.

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Just heard back from the counselor.  The incomplete has been denied for the time being; it will be granted if he has another hospitalization.  They are suggesting he drop the class and register for something else that would satisfy the credit.    Evidently DS told the counselor he doesn't want to drop so I guess it's forge ahead as he has been.  That gives him 15 days to write two 5 page papers and a 15 page paper and finish catching up in AP Chem.

 

That sounds a bit ominous to me.  The only saving grace is that the 15 page paper is an extension of the two shorter papers so no new research would need to be done.  Just a lot of writing.

 

Is he feeling better?  That is a heck of a load even for someone feeling good, but sounds completely overwhelming for someone feeling ill.  I'm sitting here thinking that these administrators must be used to robots, not human beings.  

 

My dd's fever went up to 105.7 today.  I don't care a flip about school at this point.  I just want her to be OK. I'm on the verge of succumbing to a panic attack.  The child should be the focus.  Not policies. I'm so sorry both you and he are having to deal with this stress on top of health issues.   I wonder how they would be reacting if it were their child.

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This is the point at which he should be standing at your elbow as you type exactly what he says about the topic.  Once he has told you what he wants to say, he can go back through the essay by himself to improve it to make it worthy of that 80%.  I remember doing that with my mom when I was a teen in order to get caught up after being sick for an extended time, and it worked reasonably well.  It would have been better if we'd had word processors back then instead of typewriters! 

.

 

 

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I just checked DS's email, as has become my nightly custom, just to make sure he hasn't missed anything important or forgot to pass along some bit of information.

 

I am glad I checked tonight.  He had a notice from one of his waitlist schools.  He has been accepted to Washington & Lee!!

 

That little email and the financial aid notification brought a smile to his face. 

 

Yay! 

 

Obviously his illness complicates things a bit but I am so happy for him to receive this info today. I am hoping the good news will carry him through the weekend.

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Is he feeling better? That is a heck of a load even for someone feeling good, but sounds completely overwhelming for someone feeling ill. I'm sitting here thinking that these administrators must be used to robots, not human beings.

 

My dd's fever went up to 105.7 today. I don't care a flip about school at this point. I just want her to be OK. I'm on the verge of succumbing to a panic attack. The child should be the focus. Not policies. I'm so sorry both you and he are having to deal with this stress on top of health issues. I wonder how they would be reacting if it were their child.

I hope today brings better news for your DD. I am sorry she is so sick.

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I don't understand schools that crack down so hard on sick kids. Our public high school would work with sick students so that they could finish their courses when better and help the student with colleges and scholarships if necessary. This policy is written about in great detail in the guidebook. I know several kids who were very sick during the school year for months and all of them were supported by the high school.

 

During the two weeks of AP exams and finals, a lot of students here miss classes so they can study (or sleep). If a student leaves during school, the code phrase used by the school nurses is "He has a very red throat." My son has had a few "red throats" this past month and it's been no biggie to miss school.

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I don't understand schools that crack down so hard on sick kids. Our public high school would work with sick students so that they could finish their courses when better and help the student with colleges and scholarships if necessary. This policy is written about in great detail in the guidebook. I know several kids who were very sick during the school year for months and all of them were supported by the high school.

 

During the two weeks of AP exams and finals, a lot of students here miss classes so they can study (or sleep). If a student leaves during school, the code phrase used by the school nurses is "He has a very red throat." My son has had a few "red throats" this past month and it's been no biggie to miss school.

 

I don't understand that level of inflexibility, either.

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My frustration is high and my patience is running out.  Today's visit with a GI was interesting.  He doesn't think the stomach issues (nausea and vomiting) are GI related but due to inner ear problems.  He asked all sorts of questions none of the other doctors have asked.  He was surprised that DS was referred to a GI and a Neuro before an ENT.  He was going to say something about the ER visits but bit his tongue and said he would help get things straightened out.

 

He looked through DS's med list and is recommending that a couple of them be DC'd and is prescribing a new one.  He is going to contact the pediatrician and discuss the case and make sure DS has an ENT visit as soon as possible.  He was sympathetic with DS's issues with the school as well and wrote a nice note telling them to stop sending DS home every time he vomits since it is not due to an infectious illness.  He thinks the new med (one used for vertigo) might alleviate the nausea.

 

Good news:  DS has gained 4 pounds.  This doctor told DS not to gain anymore weight if he can help it.  He says he is perfect right where he is; DS was a little on the heavy side before his illness.  His current weight puts him right in the middle of where he should be for his height.

 

With the school he missed last week he is now 4 days behind in physics, 2 days behind in Chem and still struggling to meet the writing deadlines.  One side effect of the new med is severe drowsiness.  That will not help the school situation but we are hoping it will help with the big picture and give him some relief.

 

12 days until graduation.  My optimism that he can pull this off is waning.  Does that make me a bad mom?  I know it doesn't but I don't see how the 5 and 15 page papers can be completed in 12 days (8 class days which include two AP exams).

 

I am going to hold on to this doctor's hope that the new med will help the nausea and that the ENT visit will bring new light.

 

Oh, I hope the ENT holds the answer!!!!

 

My optimism would be tested too.....just don't let it show anywhere other than here.  :tongue_smilie:   Fingers crossed for answers!

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gosh, that is so hard, and when he needs to focus his energy on getting better, he is having to deal with the school deadlines too.  The doctor sounds like he is on your side, though, so could you call him back and ask him to request an extension from the school, and would they consider giving him a few extra weeks to complete his work?  I would think that they would have to go by the doctor's recommendation?  Hang in there.

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I'm sending good thoughts that you'll get some helpful answers and that your son's health will improve.

 

What a difficult time this is; I hope that good times are coming soon.

 

Regards,

Kareni

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I'm hoping your Ds feels better with the new med and you can get some answers from the ENT.

 

For my Dd, the teachers have some leeway with homework, tests, and reporting. She'll get incompletes in her AP English and Adv. Pre-calc but when they need to be made up, the workload will be modified. They'll focus more on the tests and less or not at all on the daily assignments. In Anat & Physio class, the teacher is grading her based on the work she's already completed and exempting the rest since she's done more than 75% of the work. We are still waiting to hear about the other classes.

 

I mention this because maybe, in your son's case, they could reduce the number of papers he needs to write or the daily work for physics. That would allow him to focus on tests and the papers critical for learning the concepts so that he can graduate on time. You may have to really push the counselors, teachers, and administration. Their goal really should be to help your son succeed and graduate despite this life-changing medical event.

 

Having a sick child and the inflexibility of the school with upcoming graduation makes for a very stressful situation. Hang in there. :grouphug:

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Agree with Creekland. The invitee criteria should have been established well in advance. An incomplete for illness should not be affecting his candidacy. Do have him inquire.

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Did you ask if the ENT keeps a cancelation list? (People to call if someone cancels and an appointment becomes available.) Some offices do, but not all. It might be worth asking.

 

I did and she put our name on it.  I also think I'll call once or twice to check for cancellations.

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Well, small consolation you didnt find out publicly. I have known kids whose parents found out they were kicked out of NHS at the grad ceremony. (Usually they dont have their act together to get their tutoring hours done, as they dont realize how frequently the school library is closed, so fail to plan ahead..not only do they have to arrange to meet the student they are helping, they have to arrange an adult to sign that they did the tutoring session..and if they are attending only half day senior year, the chances get slim).

 

Would it be worth it to drive for an appt that is sooner?

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Is there any chance this is BPPV? Because specially trained physiotherapists can often fix that.

& hugs to you as you sort things out today

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I'm sorry you all are going through this.  I haven't been on the boards as much lately, and missed this thread.

 

It's so difficult when things don't go as hoped for our children.  I have found that unexpected changed plans usually evolve into new opportunities that you could not have even imagined before.  That doesn't usually help in the present though.

 

I think you should call your school office and ask why your son wasn't invited to the Honors ceremony!

 

I hope the ENT doc can see your son earlier.

 

Best wishes!!  :grouphug: :grouphug:

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I had to look up BPPV.  The new med he was prescribed earlier this week is the most common med for vertigo.  So far it hasn't help but it's only been 2 days. 

 

I called the school and asked.  The admin is in a meeting so I spoke with the secretary.  She took a message and said she'll call me this afternoon. 

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Back from the school-

Good news - he got an 85% on one of the 5 page papers(he currently has a 92% in the class).  She hasn't graded the second 5 page paper yet; the one he turned in yesterday.  15 pager is due Monday.  :(

 

Greater news - he was supposed to have received an invitation to the Honor's Assembly.  No one knows what happened.  My guess is it's tucked away on a teacher's desk somewhere.  He missed classes almost every day this week and last week either being sick or going to an appt. 

 

The Admin said she would print another and give it to DS tomorrow.  Well, he must have come down the hall right after I spoke with her because not 3 minutes later he came out of the school with the invitation.  :)

 

Last day of class is next Wednesday. 

 

 

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I am struggling with my emotions this week. Yesterday the tennis team had their senior night and pics are all over Facebook. I can't help but be angry, sad, frustrated as I see them. DS should have been celebrating too.

 

The Honors Convocation is Monday and invitations went out today. DS didn't get one. I want to go in to the school tomorrow and inquire as to why. DH thinks I should let it go. I really want to know why he has been passed over; he is trying so hard and is managing A's, even though he is still behind. I think I'll sleep on it and decide what to do in the morning. It just makes me so sad for him. Three and three quarters years worth of work and now he won't get the recognition he deserves.

 

I keep trying to tell myself that it's not important and that his health is our priority and I should count my blessings but it still hurts.

Back from the school-

Good news - he got an 85% on one of the 5 page papers(he currently has a 92% in the class). She hasn't graded the second 5 page paper yet; the one he turned in yesterday. 15 pager is due Monday. :(

 

Greater news - he was supposed to have received an invitation to the Honor's Assembly. No one knows what happened. My guess is it's tucked away on a teacher's desk somewhere. He missed classes almost every day this week and last week either being sick or going to an appt.

 

The Admin said she would print another and give it to DS tomorrow. Well, he must have come down the hall right after I spoke with her because not 3 minutes later he came out of the school with the invitation. :)

 

Last day of class is next Wednesday.

:crying: I must be emotional too because first I got teary eyed about Senior Night and then I got happy tears about the Honor's Assembly.

 

I am sorry about the problems your son and your family is going through.

 

:grouphug:

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Today's update:  He received a 90% on the 5 page paper.  It's on to the 15 page paper tomorrow and Sunday.  It's a combination of the three shorter papers (problem, two unrealistic or impossible solutions, and a best case scenario solution).  He can use the graded papers as a draft, make the necessary corrections, add in some segue paragraphs and update the bibliography. He also has to create a proposal and a detailed outline. 

 

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Love these latest updates on health and progress!!!  

 

Glad to hear the school/Honors deal was just a technical one!  I had hoped that was the case.

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So glad today was a better day and that the lack of Honors invitation was a simple mistake! I'm really impressed that he continues to get such good grades even when he's so sick. Great job!

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I'm sure it has been checked - but have they checked his renal function? Quite a different scenario, but a friend's child had nausea and vomiting for an extended time and it was found to be due to renal problems.

 

Hope you get some answers soon and that he recovers completely and quickly.

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or maybe everyone struggled with the last papers and his were comparatively good.

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Gotta find the humor in the little things.

 

DS worked all weekend on the big paper/binder project.  He wrote, rewrote, and printed all sorts of things.  The items in the binder include the graded drafts, the final papers, the grading rubrics, as well as the new works cited, bibliography, and his 18 page paper. I helped him gather everything together, three-hole punch it all, and get in the binder.  We called it good last night about 11:30pm.

 

The binder will not fit in his backpack with the rest of his things so he was carrying it this morning.  As he was walking out the door, I hear him yell "Mom, come get this."  Then I hear a thunk and a splash.  The thunk was the binder being tossed across the living room toward the computer room and the splash was something you don't want to know about.  He went upstairs to clean up while I took care of the rest of the mess.  When he came back down I asked him why he threw the binder.  He said "After that much work, I was not going to risk having it smell like twice-tasted Chex."

 

I know that's TMI but this is his life.  He is upstairs resting for a bit and trying to settle his stomach.  The binder is still in excellent shape and will be submitted as soon as he can get to school.

 

5 days of classes left; including the morning AP exams on Thursday and Friday. I hope he can get through those. 

 

7 days until graduation

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