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The Accidental Coach

Just when you think it's all figured out

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Back home.  He's sleeping.  The toddler is sleeping.  I am just plain tuckered out.

 

I am making an easy dinner and then plan on grading papers and getting the rest of the semester planned out.

 

I would rather go crawl in bed with my son and just hold him for a while.  :crying:  Like I did when he was little.

 

Sorry you all are struggling so. 

 

Re the bolded

"I'll love you forever.

I'll like you for always.

As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." 

 

:leaving:

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I am so sorry.

 

It sounds like his body has no reserves left to draw on and is crying "uncle!"

 

I would be insisting on a homebound teacher and working with the school to do everything in their power to reduce unnecessary work so he can first, recover and second, finish the year consistent with his prior work.

 

Good luck.

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I am so sorry.

 

It sounds like his body has no reserves left to draw on and is crying "uncle!"

 

I would be insisting on a homebound teacher and working with the school to do everything in their power to reduce unnecessary work so he can first, recover and second, finish the year consistent with his prior work.

 

Good luck.

 

A homebound teacher is not likely to be super useful with AP classes if he plans to still take the tests for those.

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A homebound teacher is not likely to be super useful with AP classes if he plans to still take the tests for those.

Here, if you have a homebound teacher, you're not considered absent. That would be a good thing in this situation, IMO.

 

AP exams start soon...May 4th. Most classes are in review mode by now.

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AP exams may not even be on your radar.  But just in case they are...If your son is not able to take the AP exams as scheduled, the school should be able to request that the College Board permit your son to take the tests on the later, alternate testing date. 

 

Last year, my son had registered for AP exams, but when it became apparent that he would not be physically able to take the exams on the regular testing dates, the guidance counselor at our public school was able to send the AP exams back and have others sent for the alternate testing dates.

 

Good luck. I hope your son starts feeling better soon.

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AP exams may not even be on your radar.  But just in case they are...If your son is not able to take the AP exams as scheduled, the school should be able to request that the College Board permit your son to take the tests on the later, alternate testing date. 

 

Last year, my son had registered for AP exams, but when it became apparent that he would not be physically able to take the exams on the regular testing dates, the guidance counselor at our public school was able to send the AP exams back and have others sent for the alternate testing dates.

 

Good luck. I hope your son starts feeling better soon.

 

This would have been great advice but the school is already using the late test date for all of the AP classes.  The teachers were on strike for two weeks at the beginning of the school year and then we had 10 snow days.  The school petitioned to use the late test date so the students would have the extra 10 days of instruction.  All spring AP classes are still teaching concepts; review won't start for about a week or so. 

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Personally, I think things like school and AP exams should be the least of your concerns right now. Concentrate on getting your boy well again, and then worry about the rest. His health is more important than any exam, grade, or college admission.

 

I wouldn't rush to send him back to school. I like unsinkable's idea of a homebound program for a while, to give him ample time to make a complete recovery. It doesn't sound like this is a situation where he should only stay home for a few days and then go right back to school. It seems like he will need time at home to regain his health and energy.

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Do we call the universities and withdraw the applications?  Have him select one and ask for a deferral based on medical issues?

Have you heard back from the college admission offices yet about how they are going to handle it if your son needs to drop some of the classes?  Will these colleges grant a deferral if your son needs one?  If your son is still undecided about which college is his top choice, the answer to these questions may be the deciding factor.

 

Your son will have to pick a school by the end of next week.  I would have your son submit his acceptance and deposit and wait a little while longer before he asks for a deferral.  Hopefully, the doctors will get to the root of the problem soon and your son will be ready to go away to college this fall.

 

:grouphug:

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Not sure how I feel about this but we are headed to the city for a CT scan and an appt with a neurologist.

:grouphug:

 

I hope everything is OK.

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Not sure how I feel about this but we are headed to the city for a CT scan and an appt with a neurologist.

 

We will be thinking about both of you! I am glad they are taking action.  

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I am so glad you will get the CT results today and not need to think about it over the weekend. Praying for good results. 

 

If the CT scan doesn't reveal a cause, I have a weird suggestion. My college kid was sick for 3 years of high school (not as sick as your son), and one symptom was severe headaches. (One cause was an ulcer.) After she found relief for the other symptoms, the headaches remained. When we looked at the headaches separately, I suggested having her eyes checked. It turned out she was a little far-sighted. She always aced the vision screenings at her doctor visits, since those only screened for near-sightedness. She now wears glasses and the headaches are gone. 

 

I'm so sorry that your son is going through this. Does your son have the option to stay in the AP classes, but not take the AP tests? That would allow him to finish that work without the pressure of studying for the exams. Of course, he could take the exams without worrying about studying for the exams just to see how he does since the scores won't have any bearing on his college admission. Some students could do that and others couldn't. I hope he feels better soon.

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Not sure how I feel about this but we are headed to the city for a CT scan and an appt with a neurologist.

I hope you get some answers -- and that the problem is very minor and easy to treat and cure. :grouphug:

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Your suggestion is what we want to do but we don't know how to make that work.

 

Honest question (no snark intended) - what steps do you think we should take? He's less than 30 days from graduation.

 

He needs one of the three remaining credits to graduate. The other two (the APs) are extras.

 

I have a call in to his counselor to ask about options - homebound, dropping the other APs and just keeping the English course, suspending everything and picking up a semester in the fall, or whatever.

 

Do we call the universities and withdraw the applications? Have him select one and ask for a deferral based on medical issues?

I wish I knew what to suggest. I wouldn't withdraw anything yet. I think snowbeltmom's suggestions make a lot of sense regarding how to handle the college admission.

 

Once you get the medical diagnosis, you will have a better idea as to how to handle the current school situation. The great thing is that your ds is a very intelligent young man and no matter what happens with things like AP exams, he will still be very successful in college, even if the plans seem up in the air right now. Time will pass, he will get well, and hopefully soon all of these worries will be nothing more than a memory and everything will be back to normal.

 

There is nothing worse than when one of our kids is sick. :grouphug:

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Crud - I wish you had an easy answer.  Take care of your son - you two will make the decision that's right for him.  I am so sorry.  

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I'm so glad to hear the CT scan was clear! :hurray: I hope you are able to find out exactly what is going on, though.

 

If your ds has already been accepted at the colleges, perhaps they will be open to the idea of him not taking the AP exams as long as you can provide them with a medical excuse. Maybe you could call the "last choice" school and talk to them about it, to see what kind of reception you get and what types of questions they ask. That way, you will be better prepared to speak with your ds's first choice school.

 

I could be totally off-base about this, but it would seem that he would be better off trying to get a medical excuse and not taking the AP exams, than to take the exams without being fully prepared and possibly not scoring well.

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I'm so glad to hear the CT scan was clear! :hurray: I hope you are able to find out exactly what is going on, though.

 

If your ds has already been accepted at the colleges, perhaps they will be open to the idea of him not taking the AP exams as long as you can provide them with a medical excuse. Maybe you could call the "last choice" school and talk to them about it, to see what kind of reception you get and what types of questions they ask. That way, you will be better prepared to speak with your ds's first choice school.

 

I could be totally off-base about this, but it would seem that he would be better off trying to get a medical excuse and not taking the AP exams, than to take the exams without being fully prepared and possibly not scoring well.

 

Thank you

 

About the APs:  he won't submit them for college credit so the scores won't matter. The university will see the course on the transcript but he won't send the scores. The uni at the top of his list has already told him that he will be required to take these two particular classes on campus so the credits would just go into the general elective pool.  It's really no big deal.  The AP tests are required by the high school for full academic credit and for determining GPA and class standing.

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I'm glad the CT scan was mainly clear. Could the polyps be causing the headaches? I had a deviated septum that touched the side of my nose, and this caused bad daily headaches that stopped once I had it fixed surgically. 

 

I think your plan to call the colleges is a good one. If it sounds like it will be a problem to drop the extra 2 classes, remember the school can make him take the test, but they can't make him study. Will all new work stop in the classes when the review starts? Could he use the time when the class is reviewing to finish up his assignments? 

 

When you say your son wants to push through does that mean finish all 3 classes or just finish high school with the 1 class? I'm not sure I would pull rank or do anything too drastic yet. I'm hopeful the doctors will get to the cause of this illness and it will be a distant bad memory by the time college starts in the fall.  

 

I'm sorry the end of his high school career is turning out to be so stressful for a reason you never would have imagined.

 

 

 

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He's had 4 blood tests (including one at the ER)  and I am repeatedly told that everything is fine.  I have not heard of the anca panel but I will be sure to ask the ped when I hear from him today.

 

I wanted to return to this, with the clear disclaimer that I am in no way a medical professional: if they keep running the SAME blood test, all that is telling you is that everything is okay on that particular test. There are lots of different panels they can run. The reason I suggest the anca is that I have seen it pick up on autoimmune issues in my family. 

 

If the doctor disagrees with an anca panel, ask him what does he suggest other than waiting? What will he be doing in 3 months if issues continue? Does he realize it's been x amount of time already? Yes, it's in the chart, but it's not on the top of their mind the way it is on the top of yours. 

 

And if he still wants to wait? Time for a second opinion. 

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Thank you

 

About the APs:  he won't submit them for college credit so the scores won't matter. The university will see the course on the transcript but he won't send the scores. The uni at the top of his list has already told him that he will be required to take these two particular classes on campus so the credits would just go into the general elective pool.  It's really no big deal.  The AP tests are required by the high school for full academic credit and for determining GPA and class standing.

 

This sounds like a good piece of news actually. It won't matter if he gets a 1 or 2 on the test, and that shouldn't affect his grade/transcript as scores arrive too late to do that.  Any knowledge he is getting from the courses themselves will help him when he takes the classes in college later.

 

If he wants to continue to press on, I'd let him.  There's no particular reason to stand in his way.  He can always back off later if he changes his mind, but if you put an end to it, then you're the bad guy potentially for the rest of his life in his memory.

 

Best wishes as you contact colleges to see what they are choosing to do.

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I never thought this is how the end of his senior year would be and I don't know when to (or if I should) pull rank and make some executive decisions.

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug: Please know you all continue to be in my thoughts. 

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Since the high school won't get the scores until his final transcripts have been sent to the college, and all he has to do is SIT for the tests, have him just sit there for three hours. Christmas tree the answer doc. Open the cellophane on the FRQ but don't write anything. He won't be the only high school senior doing that same thing. Ask any AP grader and they will tell you they get blank documents. He just has to show up and pretend. Hell, he can even nap.

 

I am surprised about how long it takes for hospital/homebound. We can do that in two days, and I have been a part of that three times this year. Now, our homebound teachers just deliver things and proctor tests. I make up all the notes and assignments for the kids in my class and communicate with them by Skype and email.

 

I hope you get some answers.

 

Thank you

 

About the APs: he won't submit them for college credit so the scores won't matter. The university will see the course on the transcript but he won't send the scores. The uni at the top of his list has already told him that he will be required to take these two particular classes on campus so the credits would just go into the general elective pool. It's really no big deal. The AP tests are required by the high school for full academic credit and for determining GPA and class standing.

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The options are going to depend on how the recovery goes.

A. Take only AP exam for reqd course (and if not feeling well just do what he can and christmas tree the rest), take incomplete for the course and finish when able, whether that is in time for spring, summer, or fall grad. Drop the electives.

B. Take all AP exams. Take incompletes in everything and if health permits, put the energy into finishing the reqd course by spring grad. Finish what can be finished by end of summer school and drop the rest.

 

Is there any P.E. to make up?

 

Dont worry about dropping a course. My kid had to lighten his load and drop one class spring semester, and his guidance counselor told him it would not be viewed well by the college...but being a state school it was not a big deal. He took the class at college, and had a much better teacher, plus it gave him the time to get his personal things (like Eagle Project) done at end of senior year, things which were far more valuable than one elective. Your son's health is more valuable than an elective.

 

The one thing I have learned about high school is that nothing is easy emotionally. Lots of life stressor events are happening all around.

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I wanted to return to this, with the clear disclaimer that I am in no way a medical professional: if they keep running the SAME blood test, all that is telling you is that everything is okay on that particular test. There are lots of different panels they can run. The reason I suggest the anca is that I have seen it pick up on autoimmune issues in my family. 

 

If the doctor disagrees with an anca panel, ask him what does he suggest other than waiting? What will he be doing in 3 months if issues continue? Does he realize it's been x amount of time already? Yes, it's in the chart, but it's not on the top of their mind the way it is on the top of yours. 

 

And if he still wants to wait? Time for a second opinion. 

This is excellent advice for people who are dealing with medical mysteries and non-responsive healthcare providers!

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Sorry to hear it's going to be a long haul.   :grouphug:   Glad things still appear to be moving forward overall.

 

Hope all works out well with finishing the school year (and beyond).

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I haven't been able to post on the boards for several weeks (finally decided to try another browser - YAY), but I wanted to tell you that I am so sorry you and ds are going through this.  Hope ds gets his strength back, his recovery goes well and you can get a break from all the stress you've had lately.   :grouphug:  :grouphug:

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I am glad there are positives with your update - you both certainly deserve them!  I hope the next dr. appointments bring you some answers, he has been through a lot!!   :grouphug:

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Has he been tested for Lyme?  I am so sorry he is going through this.  Health issues are really difficult when you have to follow an institutional schedule.  It really throws a wrench in things. 

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I just want to add that you can have Lyme without ever seeing a tick, and I know of a few teenaged kids who were just knocked flat like that, repeated illnesses like you describe and then they were finally diagnosed with Lyme.  Just something else to check if they haven't already.

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I just want to add that you can have Lyme without ever seeing a tick, and I know of a few teenaged kids who were just knocked flat like that, repeated illnesses like you describe and then they were finally diagnosed with Lyme.  Just something else to check if they haven't already.

 

This happened to a young lady I know.  No tick in sight.

 

Extending well wishes for your son and family.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug:

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