Shellydon Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 My 8 year old takes hours and hour to finish her 2nd grade work. She gets started around 9:00 am and it is often 6 or 7 at night before she wraps things up. If she paid attention to her work, she has about 1.5 or 2 hours worth of work to do. I have 4 children and expect her to do about 1/2 of her work independently. CLE Reading and Social Studies, Spelling. I help her with the rest. If I sit next to her, she is terribly distracted by all the noise of the other children coming to me for help. If I leave, she stares, dawdles etc until 3 hours have gone by and she hasn't done anything at all. I have given time limits, imposed consequences, moved her work space, given her fish oil. She says she can't concentrate or think and thus can't complete her work. Any suggestions? I can't dedicate 2 hours a day just to her, I have to help my other children as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coco_Clark Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Trying to say this very gently, but the unfortunate truth is that some kids really can't concentrate in a noisy room full of siblings and some kids really do need the hand-holding of a parent/teacher at their side. I'm not there, I don't know your daughter, she might not be one of those kids; but that IS a reality that you MAY have to accept. Is there truly not ANY way you could carve out an extra hour of one-on-one for this kiddo? I'm assuming the other children are all younger? Any nappers? Could you impose a quiet/naptime for everyone else? Are you totally opposed to TV time during her work? Could you move to an "outdoor classroom" so the others can be busy but not quite so at hand? Could you help her finish her work while you are making dinner? My 7 year old has independant work, but if he hasn't finished by 5, either from putting it off all day or needing help, then he sits at the counter and does so while I chop, sauté, ect. Cooking is passive enough that I can watch/support him while working. Or maybe dad can help with the "homework" in the evenings? It sounds like you've tried everything as far as helping her be more productive by herself, and I'm running pretty blank. Hopefully others are more helpful. It sounds like she does an hour with you and then an hour by herself. Is that right? I'm assuming she's not expected to do the whole hour in one sitting. Does she have a set time(s) she's supposed to be working or is she picking her own schedule and then putting it off all day? Are her independant subjects her strongest subjects? Because I'd make sure of that. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bethben Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 You eat a lot of chocolate and try not to pull your hair out. You dream about sending them to school and then realize they would never do anything at school and you would be helping them with all their homework every night that they should have done in school. You then realize you may as well bite the bullet and just homeschool them because at least you know what they're doing in school and you know how to help them. You think maybe coffee will help and then think it's not a good idea to give a 7 year old a coffee addiction. You know you're not one to run to prescribed medication but start to wonder, "What harm could there be?" You then think, "Maybe I need medication to calm me down from the severe frustration I feel and the need to say, Oh for Pete's sake! Just do your work!" Oh wait - you want solutions? I've got nothing. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 A child that age should only be doing short independent sessions in between direct teaching. So do some math together then work independently for 15 or 20 minutes max. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Try this. Spend 30 minutes with this child one on one. Use the TV, iPad or whatever to get this uninterrupted time. Get this kid up earlier than the others, feed her her lunch earlier and work while everyone else is eating....whatever you need to do, do it. See how much is accomplished. Try to do this twice a day. You may be shocked at how much she gets done when it is one on one. Of course, she does need to learn to work alone a bit. If it's work that she genuinely should need no assistance for, (handwriting, spelling, etc.) put her in a room alone with the door shut with headphones and classical music or nature sounds. However, don't make her do this for more than 30 minutes at a time. She doesn't need to feel that she's being punished for the distractibilty. (had another idea. Why not feed her her lunch 30 minutes before everyone else. Then feed the rest of the family lunch, and work with her while they are eating. After lunch, the other kids can spend 30 minute on screens while you continue working with the child. That would give you one hour of uninterrupted time) 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 The ages of your other kids would help us brainstorm some more ideas for you. That's one thing that's so great about this board; there's always lots of suggestions and ideas. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 A child that age should only be doing short independent sessions in between direct teaching. So do some math together then work independently for 15 or 20 minutes max. :iagree: And, some kids are not ready for that level of independence until 10-12yo. I have a houseful of kiddos too. You *have* to prioritize those littles who need 1-on-1 time. It's investing in their future independence. Right now all that is happening is teaching her how to cope under expectations that she cannot meet. If you have to cut her work down to 1.5hrs a day, do that. But, give her 15-20min of your attention, and then work with another child. Giver her another 15-20min and work with another child. Cycle through, giving her several short sessions. These sessions with her can be breaks or chore time for the other kids. Yes, this seriously cuts into housework and other things...HSing is my profession though, and those dust bunnies can wait...an 8yo cannot. Whittle each subject down to a 15-20min lesson. Do stuff orally to get through anything tedious quickly. Prioritize reading lessons, literature, copywork, and math. Do these together. Cut stuff that can be done easier/better when she's 10yo, and reading/writing well. Things to give her to do independently while her siblings work: Dover coloring books, word searches, audiobooks, watercolor paints, craft, watch a documentary. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 You have four children. If you spent two hours personally dedicated to each child's lessons per day, that's only an 8hr day for you. You are the one who should be working from (before) 9am to 6pm on school, not your second grader. I don't want to sound unsympathetic. I think we all know how hard it is to dedicate serious time to children's studies with a household that needs attention, chores to do, babies to tend. But this is what homeschooling is. As Coco Clark said, you don't have to do it all in one chunk, ignoring the rest of your family. You teach a little, and help your child through the practice problems, and stay nearby while she spends no more than 10-15 minutes per subject on independent work. Let her have a break or play an educational game while you do the same for a sibling. As Jean said, that's an appropriate way for young children to learn -- short time of teaching, followed by short and supervised independent work on the lesson that was just taught. Just keep rotating through, maintaining a quiet, disciplined atmosphere during school hours if that's what your children need. Take lots of breaks. Go outdoors frequently, to make sure everyone (including you) is getting fresh air and exercise. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 oh, one more thing. I found that younger kids who go off to play while I am schooling others frequently have a hard time coming back to schoolwork and getting focused. So I started using educational computer games for their interim. These games also make drudgery drill a little more interesting. So instead of writing spelling words, my kids play spellingcity.com for 20 minutes. They play math games on fun4thebrain.com. They can do a fun educational activity while I am working with another kid and not lose focus on schoolwork. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 The pp have given great advice. You need to find individual quiet time for her. I have my kids on staggered schedules to make it happen. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In The Great White North Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Jean in Newcastle, on 08 Apr 2015 - 12:48 PM, said: A child that age should only be doing short independent sessions in between direct teaching. So do some math together then work independently for 15 or 20 minutes max. :iagree: And, some kids are not ready for that level of independence until 10-12yo. Or until they leave for college. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Or until they leave for college. Maybe in rare cases? Even my ADD child could handle 20 min. of independent work before high school, though that might vary depending on subject to subject (ie. he got off track more easily with some work he saw as boring). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted April 8, 2015 Author Share Posted April 8, 2015 You have four children. If you spent two hours personally dedicated to each child's lessons per day, that's only an 8hr day for you. You are the one who should be working from (before) 9am to 6pm on school, not your second grader. I don't want to sound unsympathetic. I think we all know how hard it is to dedicate serious time to children's studies with a household that needs attention, chores to do, babies to tend. But this is what homeschooling is. As Coco Clark said, you don't have to do it all in one chunk, ignoring the rest of your family. You teach a little, and help your child through the practice problems, and stay nearby while she spends no more than 10-15 minutes per subject on independent work. Let her have a break or play an educational game while you do the same for a sibling. As Jean said, that's an appropriate way for young children to learn -- short time of teaching, followed by short and supervised independent work on the lesson that was just taught. Just keep rotating through, maintaining a quiet, disciplined atmosphere during school hours if that's what your children need. Take lots of breaks. Go outdoors frequently, to make sure everyone (including you) is getting fresh air and exercise. This is essentially our day. I put distractable DD in a room by herself, other kids are in a different area. I go to her and say "Do these 5 math review problems, you are good at these." I return to school room and help the olders and youngers for about 10 minutes. I return and she hasn't started. I sit with her for 15 minutes and we get 3 problems done while she constantly says "I can't concentrate." I assign some easy for her then go to help other kids. Return 10 minutes etc. I offer a run around the yard break roughly every 20-30 minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Or until they leave for college. :smilielol5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Headphones are a lifesaver. Either over the ear, or muffling earbuds. My kids prefer to work together at the table for company, but the sound really is distracting. I have a "brainwaves" station set up on Pandora which is sort of like spa music. I also have a Govi station (spanish guitar, pan pipes, that sort of thing) and a Japanese instrumental station. For those who can't really work with music, I have the Simply Rain App which supplies a soothing rainstorm with or without thunder. They find this less distracting than pure white or brown noise, but if you like that sort of thing, there is Simply Noise. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 If she is unable to learn and you are unable to teach her given the current circumstances, then I recommend: First, evaluate the circumstances. Are you teaching to her needs or yours? During the time when you are helping her and she says she cannot concentrate, are other children interrupting? Is she unable to concentrate even without interruption? What curricula are you using for the subject matter? Second, evaluate the child. If she cannot concentrate, then she can't. There may be therapies, medications, coping strategies or a combination of treatments that can help her. It is up to you to get her the help she needs so she can do her best. Each child is different. Even if 9 out of 10 can handle a certain curricula, school setting or teaching method, it doesn't mean that your child won't be the 1 who can't. FWIW, two of my ADHD kids do well with computer based instruction that prompts them regularly for input. Finally, unless you will be outsourcing or using online courses for the higher grades, now would be the time to get used to dedication 2 hours to each student. It may very well take that long. If each one is on a different level of math, and you are teaching or even assisting with self-study math program I would say plan 20-30 minutes per student just for math. If you do any discussion based lessons, count the time for those... Going back and forth to answer questions at some point gets very complicated. My kids do have independent work, but I've learned to recognize what they can't or won't do independently. I don't go back and forth for those subjects, I just call up a child and they get one on one time for their work and then I call up the next. Kids who are finished with what they can do alone can play, but not where it is a distraction to the working student. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Targhee Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 This is essentially our day. I put distractable DD in a room by herself, other kids are in a different area. I go to her and say "Do these 5 math review problems, you are good at these." I return to school room and help the olders and youngers for about 10 minutes. I return and she hasn't started. I sit with her for 15 minutes and we get 3 problems done while she constantly says "I can't concentrate." I assign some easy for her then go to help other kids. Return 10 minutes etc. I offer a run around the yard break roughly every 20-30 minutes. Sounds like she might feel like the work will never end, so why begin. Some kids don't (some adults dont!) make the correlation between "if I get this done, I can move on." Perhaps she does need quiet and little distraction, but may still feel isolated in a separate room? Or, she may be like my oldest (who has ADD) and has very little concept of time and very little control of where her attention takes her. If so, she needs specific help with these for years, alteration of your expectations, and outside help for YOU and her from someone who works with ADD kids. I do suggest you read a little more about ADD, because if it is that you child has it you will have much more success and a happier home and child the sooner you face it and start to work with this unique way of processing the world. Best wishes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 One other thing that jumped out at me. You mentioned she is distracted when the others come to you for help. I don't blame her, because that distracts me too! I've trained my (older than 8) kids to leave me alone when I'm teaching another child. Here are our rules: Don't come to me unless you have read the directions and have attempted to begin the lesson. "I don't get it" isn't a valid complaint. If you hit a snag and don't understand a problem, skip it and move to the next one. Don't come to me unless I see that you've attempted to work every problem on the page because sometimes the information you need to unlock the problem is further down. Bring me all of your problems at one time so I can give you undivided attention when it's your turn. If it isn't your turn, don't ask me, "Just one thing." While I was breaking them of the habit of constant interruptions during my teaching time, I told each of them to put his or her name on an index card. If I am busy teaching, they were allowed to hand me the index card as a placeholder so they knew they were next in line. The funny thing is, more often than not, the child would figure out the problem and come back to collect the card before I got around to helping her. It's a good idea to break them of the need for constant hand holding. For our sanity and for their ability to work independently. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 :iagree: I have ADHD and if one child comes to me with a question while I'm trying to work with another (particularly on math), my head explodes. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Here's a sample of what a 504 for ADHD looks like. It will show you typical accommodations and modifications she'd be given in school. http://www.slane.k12.or.us/files/2010_Examples_of_Program_Accomodations.pdf 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Almost forgot, this class has some good tips for improving focus: https://www.coursera.org/learn/learning-how-to-learn This class is excellent, but not always available: https://www.coursera.org/course/adhd 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellydon Posted April 8, 2015 Author Share Posted April 8, 2015 Thanks all. We'll figure something out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beaniemom Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 My ds is similar in that he will stare at the paper, play with his pencil and never get work done. We started recently having him in a seperate room and using a sand timer. I bought a 5 minute one and at first it was "I want you to do these 5 math problems before the time runs out. " we also had a reward system in place where if the problems were done when the timer was done he earned a stamp towards a prize. Each time we added to the number of problems to be done in the 5 minute time (within reason). We are soon going to try with a 10 minute timer. Maybe something similar would help your situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 The first place I always start is with breakfast and a drink of water. If dd doesn't eat a significant amount of protein for breakfast, she won't know what "th" sounds like even though she's known for two years. If she's eaten, and is still telling me weird stuff like that, we've had a semantics issue where I've said "go and have a drink of water" and she's heard "have a sip" instead of "drink a whole glass of water and do it now!" Sometimes this will mean having to drink half a glass of water every other page while she's doing her reading. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 If she can't do 5 problems on her own, have her try one problem then check in with you. Then two etc. Five just might be too long. It may be faster for both of you if she does the problems with you (but without your help) and then gets some educational game time while you work with some other children. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pen Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Very short sessions, very clear goals, ear plugs, break time following good concentration time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Do you school year round? How long has she been doing school from 9am until 6/7pm? She could just be completely burnt out and need a decent break to reset. When mine were that age I sat with them and we did school in 15-30 minute segments. It was broken up with something fun, active, or both. They are both doing well in public school middle and high school now so I didn't ruin them by allowing short segments of work and lots of breaks. I can look back now and be thankful I didn't push too fast or hard. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 A child that age should only be doing short independent sessions in between direct teaching. So do some math together then work independently for 15 or 20 minutes max. :iagree: consider starting her before other siblings as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smoore530 Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Headphones help my son as well. Soothing music that blocks out other noise. When I was a classroom teacher I had an ADD student that could get amazing amount of work done when he sat on a yoga ball and bounced away while working. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom28kds Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Headphones help my son as well. Soothing music that blocks out other noise. When I was a classroom teacher I had an ADD student that could get amazing amount of work done when he sat on a yoga ball and bounced away while working. I was going to add this same thing. I bought headphones for my kids for next year. I don't have the music ones. I bought the ones for ear protection like shooting. Blocks noise, $10 each. If they need them then they can put them on :) I have a son who struggles with focusing as well. I'm hoping this works for us :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Me to ds about that age, "What are you doing?". Ds, "thinking thoughts." :D It's painful to hear how we need to organize a thought thinkers world . The more you put in place and teach them how, the easier the rest of their lives will be. I wish I had done more sooner. I sat beside ds for many years while he worked. I gave him 4 problems of math on a page at a time. He enjoyed running laps outside around the house and eventually he discovered caffeine. :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverMoon Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 I'd keep her at your elbow for all of her work, even when you're helping other DC. Lather, rinse, repeat. Perhaps consider a bottom-up approach to getting your day started? I find it actually works better to kick-start the older kids and work one-on-one with the little kids first. When their seatwork is all wrapped up I turn my attention to the big ones. Honestly, my super distractable kid is still super distractable as a teenager. He takes coffee and focusing supplements daily to take the edge off. We have essentially "homeschooled" other special needs in our house quite successfully, but in hindsight I wish I had have taken this one in for evals and such much sooner. You can always drop the medicine if needed, but starting it when they are big and opinionated is not so easy. :laugh: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bookworm4 Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Headphones help my son as well. Soothing music that blocks out other noise. When I was a classroom teacher I had an ADD student that could get amazing amount of work done when he sat on a yoga ball and bounced away while working. Using an exercise ball during school work makes a big difference in how long my DD7 can concentrate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 The first place I always start is with breakfast and a drink of water. If dd doesn't eat a significant amount of protein for breakfast, she won't know what "th" sounds like even though she's known for two years. If she's eaten, and is still telling me weird stuff like that, we've had a semantics issue where I've said "go and have a drink of water" and she's heard "have a sip" instead of "drink a whole glass of water and do it now!" Sometimes this will mean having to drink half a glass of water every other page while she's doing her reading. If I did that with ds he then wouldn't be able to concentrate because he needs the toilet... ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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