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Properly addressing the envelope


momofkhm
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Middle DD's graduation is coming up and I will be sending an grad announcement to my brother.  But he lives with his girlfriend.  This has never come up before. They've only been living together for about 18 months, nothing "formal" has happened in that time.  Brother won't care, at all!  I don't know about girlfriend.  Mom and dad and oldest daughter all have met her and say she is really nice.  But I just want to do it "right".  Only one envelope so I can't address it to him on the outside and both first names on the inside.

 

Mr. brother last name

Ms. girlfriend her last name

street

city, state zip

 

Is that right?

 

 

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They need to be on the same line, first and last names, separated by an "&"

 

 

According to Emily Post:

 

Unmarried, living together:

 

Mr. John Kelly & Ms. Jane Johnson
Note: Use one line

 

 

 

ETA: This is for wedding announcements.  Graduation announcements can be less formal, I suppose.

 

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Middle DD's graduation is coming up and I will be sending an grad announcement to my brother.  But he lives with his girlfriend.  This has never come up before. They've only been living together for about 18 months, nothing "formal" has happened in that time.  Brother won't care, at all!  I don't know about girlfriend.  Mom and dad and oldest daughter all have met her and say she is really nice.  But I just want to do it "right".  Only one envelope so I can't address it to him on the outside and both first names on the inside.

 

Mr. brother last name

Ms. girlfriend her last name

street

city, state zip

 

Is that right?

 

Yes, that is correct.

 

It would also be correct to send each person his or her own announcement.

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I would put them on the same line, as Emily Post suggests, because they're being invited as a couple instead of two individuals who happen to share housing.

 

However, I don't think that this rule is so iron-clad it must be strictly hewed to in all situations. So long as you aren't outright snubbing the girlfriend, I'm sure however you address it will be fine.

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I would put them on the same line, as Emily Post suggests, because they're being invited as a couple instead of two individuals who happen to share housing.

 

However, I don't think that this rule is so iron-clad it must be strictly hewed to in all situations. So long as you aren't outright snubbing the girlfriend, I'm sure however you address it will be fine.

 

:iagree:

 

 

 

If they were two individuals who happen to share housing you would send two separate invitations. By addressing them both on one invitation you are recognizing they are a couple. 

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:iagree:

 

 

 

If they were two individuals who happen to share housing you would send two separate invitations. By addressing them both on one invitation you are recognizing they are a couple. 

 

But they are a "couple" without any sort of recognizable evidence to the same, other sharing the same address. They could just as easily *not* be a "couple" by the time of the graduation.

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They got mad because you wrote their names on the same line or separate lines?

They got mad because I used both their names and didn't pretend they were married. I think I used separate lines.

They were in their 40s and had been living together for a while. I guess it was offensive to use the separate names as it pointed out that they were not married.

It wasn't a big deal to me as I had a small number of people I could invite and it opened up two more spaces for my friends. Lol

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But they are a "couple" without any sort of recognizable evidence to the same, other sharing the same address. They could just as easily *not* be a "couple" by the time of the graduation.

 

They've been living together 18 months. I'm sure they were together before they moved in together. Forgive me, but a married couple could easily split up or start divorce proceedings before the graduation as well. Unless the OP thinks their relationship is about to fall apart, like, tomorrow she shouldn't borrow trouble, she should just assume they'll be together.

 

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You people are really disappointing me… I see no trend wherein this thread will be locked any time soon!  :D 

 

Looks like it is up to me then.

 

Not all married couples share the same last name.  My husband and I do not.  We recently received an invitation to a formal event that had my husband's name on the first line of the address, my name on the second.

 

And I am not offended. 

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They got mad because I used both their names and didn't pretend they were married. I think I used separate lines.

They were in their 40s and had been living together for a while. I guess it was offensive to use the separate names as it pointed out that they were not married.

It wasn't a big deal to me as I had a small number of people I could invite and it opened up two more spaces for my friends. Lol

 

They were offended because they are an unmarried couple and you invited them as such?

 

Whoa.

 

I think they must have been looking for an excuse not to go to your wedding.  I mean, did they think someone was going to see the invitation and say "Hey!  According to this invitation you are not married!" 

 

Invitation etiquette can be crazy.  When my best friend/roommate got married, my invitation (inner envelope) was to "Ms Lastname." I thought it was so formal and impersonal.  I was not offended by it.  I just thought it was weird. She said "that's what the book said to do."  Oh, OK then.  But i had not had a lot of experience with formal invitations at that point in my life.  When I got married I was very careful to address my husband's family correctly.   (Actually I think I asked him how it was to be done, as he had had more training in that sort of thing that I'd had.) 

 

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