Ohdanigirl Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Thanks your responces. You have all given me much to think about, and I think it will help us to make amuch more informed decision with our son. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I think this sounds like a wonderful opportunity for your DS, and I would most certainly let him pursue it if that's what he wants. College will still be there later. An opportunity like this might not be. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Keep an open mind, let him be evaluated, and take it from there. If you say "no" now, he might always wonder. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Wow! What a wonderful opportunity for your son! As a mom, I think I would have mixed feelings, too. Hopefully some parents of elite class athletes can weigh in here. There are bound to be some on this forum. ETA maybe you should cross post to the general and high school boards to cast a wider net. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I personally know a man who was not told of a professional major sport "thing" (don't know right words, but basically, he could have had a position on the team) and it negatively afected their relationship for the rest of their lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohdanigirl Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I am in the "you are only young once" camp when it comes to these sorts of things. I don't even mind if hard-core academics take a back seat for a bit; he has the rest of his life to read Plato and The Epic of Gilgamesh. Obviously one needs to be prepared for alternative tracks (meaning a solid educational foundation is critical--I'm not saying to skip school!), but I would most certainly consider it. I also would absolutely let my kid know about and give input on it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Um_2_4 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Well, I guess I will go the opposite way from what I have read so far in the responses. DH's brother was also approached (overseas by the way) by a team at about 14 and evaluated and invited in. (He was really good my hubby said, hubby is the eldest and about 12 years older, so he was involved in what went on at the time). He advanced on to training and was poised to go pro. He traveled with the team and was kind of a "junior" member (there was an official title, I forget, and he did get paid some $$ during training, etc.) But there were LOTS of kids like this, not all could make that team. Some did go on to join that team, some went to other teams, some went home and then some , like DH's brother, got injured and never played again. DHs brother lost his motivation at 14 for any education. It was just so... I don't know.... hyped up to them how they were good enough for pro, so why bother kind of thing. He did go on to open a pizza shop and is doing ok, but you know your kid. The environment is not academically focused. Injuries happen. Nothing is guaranteed. I would want to see whatever is offered in writing. Is there a scholarship for college if they do not go on to join the team? Maybe now they put some safeguards for minors in place? How would he continue schooling?? Is a tutor provided? How many kids are in this program? what % go on to pro? I would have tons of questions. I would probably not keep it from him, but this would not be "all his decision". He is only 14 after all. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I in no way consider becoming a professional athlete an appropriate life plan for anyone. It seems, like show business, to flatter people into it, train them to be only good at that thing that matters (ignoring anything else), use them for public entertainment, chew them up, and spit them out -- usually unable to have any sort of normal life beyond the age of 25 (due to injury, poor development of non-related capacities, or entrance into substance abuse). Some people avoid this fate. Many do not. So, for my family, no matter how talented, any athlete in my family would not be encouraged or facilitated in going beyond having a blast at the recreational level of any sport. That's just me, and maybe it's off the target of 'level headed' but I think it's probably just an 'opportunity' to crash and burn while other people take advantage of him. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I would only do that if I or his dad could go with him AND if it's not a sport that is known for concussions. 14 is awfully young. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohdanigirl Posted April 1, 2015 Author Share Posted April 1, 2015 . 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 For our family, any path to professional sports would be through college. As a previous poster commented, I would be concerned that he would be pretty much used up by the system. They do not have his best interests as priorities. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I would absolutely allow him to be evaluated, if he wanted to do so. Like a previous poster stated, there will always be time and opportunity to go back to college. Who knows if he will even get selected? It's a potential fantastic opportunity, and if it doesn't work out still has another path to take. I'd discuss it with him, but I'd definitely not dismiss it. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmandaVT Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 What questions should I ask this guy when we meet? I'd ask about injury types and rates in the sport. I'm a football fan and think a lot about the head injuries they sustain in their sport. Lots of former players are coming out now saying how the concussions they received during their playing days are adversely affecting their lives in big ways a few years later. I'm not super familiar with it, but I would imagine hockey has a similar problem. I'd ask how most professional players in this sport get there. Draft, scouted out of college, scouted out of high school, etc. Ask what the process would be if he did accept training from this pro team. Would he need a manager? Am I a mean mom for wanting to keep this opportunity from my ds? Not mean at all! At 14, your DS has had 9 years of his time and dedication that he's invested in his sport. I think he's old enough to have a serious conversation with and old enough to be part of the decision making process. My only reference point is gymnastics - female gymnasts peak young, frequently before they're 18. They, even in the lower levels, are involved in some of the decision making process regarding their careers. When they dedicate all the time and effort into being elite in their sport, I feel, they've earned the effort to have input in their careers. That doesn't mean he gets carte blanche to do what he wants, but it means you can try to involve him as the serious athlete he is. Isn't college and then scouting just as good a path? Or will he be missing out on some magic thing I don't know about? That depends on the sport. Do most pros in his sport turn pro right from high school? I'm trying to figure out what sport it is. I'm guessing tennis or soccer, leaning soccer. :-) Some tennis pros do go to college first, James Blake comes to mind. He played for Harvard before turning pro if I remember correctly. I am pretty sure many tennis pros go straight to the tour from high school. I'd look into your son's sport and see what path most of the pros take to get there. Depending on how long of a career is likely for him, he could defer college until after he retires. Or if there are a number of colleges that have good teams and kids move on to the pros after college, that's a great option too. It sounds like an exciting opportunity! I wish you and your son the best of luck. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 That's an exciting prospect. No advice but I hope things work for the best for your family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I don't think 14 is "awfully young." DD did competitive gymnastics from the time she was 5 until just before she turned 10. One of her teammates (they trained together and even carpooled some when both girls were 7 and 8 or so) just competed for the U.S. in Jesolo, Italy last weekend. She is 14. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmandaVT Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I don't think 14 is "awfully young." DD did competitive gymnastics from the time she was 5 until just before she turned 10. One of her teammates (they trained together and even carpooled some when both girls were 7 and 8 or so) just competed for the U.S. in Jesolo, Italy last weekend. She is 14. Not to hijack, but was your DD's teammate VN? She has gorgeous gymnastics - I'm looking forward to her turning senior in a couple of years! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Not to hijack, but was your DD's teammate VN? She has gorgeous gymnastics - I'm looking forward to her turning senior in a couple of years! No, her teammate was Ragan Smith. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmandaVT Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Love her! The US has such a great crop of juniors coming up through the ranks. Can't wait for 2016! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplejackmama Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I in no way consider becoming a professional athlete an appropriate life plan for anyone. It seems, like show business, to flatter people into it, train them to be only good at that thing that matters (ignoring anything else), use them for public entertainment, chew them up, and spit them out -- usually unable to have any sort of normal life beyond the age of 25 (due to injury, poor development of non-related capacities, or entrance into substance abuse). Some people avoid this fate. Many do not. So, for my family, no matter how talented, any athlete in my family would not be encouraged or facilitated in going beyond having a blast at the recreational level of any sport. That's just me, and maybe it's off the target of 'level headed' but I think it's probably just an 'opportunity' to crash and burn while other people take advantage of him.Yikes! I think you are over generalizing. Big time. My brother played professional baseball and it turned out to be an incredible opportunity for him. He made enough money to provide a very comfortable future for him and his family. He now runs an inner city sports program for at-risk kids, and feels a huge sense of gratitude for this opportunity. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 One more thing to think about is how participation might affect his "amateur" status in case he ever wants to come back and play for a college in the U.S. Even if he does not get a scholarship, he would still have to be classified as an amateur to play on an NCAA Division I or II (I don't know about III) team. I have no idea how that would work, but weird things can adversely affect a player's amateurism (which is a word only to the NCAA). 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I would ask a lot more questions. I agree with the person who said to look at the current pros in that sport to see their path to the top. Is there a more traditional path that includes training in this country or in college? I would not say no outright. I would make sure that I knew every single detail about all of the possible opportunities that may be open to him. I might agree to have him go through this evaluation but also seek a second evaluation somewhere closer to you, as a kind of second opinion. I have a child who is on track to pursue a career in dance. Sometimes with a very talented child, giving them the chance to pursue their dreams fully means taking a non-traditional path. Although as parents we want to protect our children from the pitfalls of pursuing life as a professional athlete, I've come to believe that my child's talent and dreams are her own. She may meet many obstacles along the way, but I won't be one of them. I'd recommend, though, to make sure that he will get an education that will allow him to change gears if he doesn't end up making it to the top levels. Have a Plan B. Also consider whether you think your son has the discipline and maturity to live away from you at this age. It's an important piece of the puzzle. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohdanigirl Posted April 2, 2015 Author Share Posted April 2, 2015 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Yikes! I think you are over generalizing. Big time. My brother played professional baseball and it turned out to be an incredible opportunity for him. He made enough money to provide a very comfortable future for him and his family. He now runs an inner city sports program for at-risk kids, and feels a huge sense of gratitude for this opportunity. I'm definitely generalizing. I tend to think that whatever is 'likely' is actually what will probably happen, even though I also know that 'likely' only means 'half or more.' I'm really glad your brother had such a good result. I don't think good results are impossible, I'm sure they happen all the time -- I just think they are probably less likely than bad results, in the general category of 'all professional sports.' Maybe baseball is less of a problem than, say, football (it seems plausible, just given the nature of the sport). If I wanted to be less general, I'd (of course) need much more specific information, such as accurate current statistics on the actual sport being considered. Plus, elite levels of sport are also a lot of hard work towards a goal I don't understand very well. I don't get why it's a 'good thing' to get better and better at body skills that aren't actually that useful for everyday life (beyond basic fitness and good health). Some sports are artistic? Maybe? And I get that there are various real-and-actual benefits to being a good athlete... I just don't see the benefits increasing as the skills get super-refined (moving from 'great player for their age' to something 'better' than that) and the super-refining is really a lot of time, effort and money. The cost/benefit ratio doesn't pan out for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysteryJen Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 If this is soccer, you should definitely pursue it. It would be an amazing opportunity and experience. The soccer path in the US has problems for the elite men. College soccer (and the lack of money and support there) absolutely cannot compare to the tracks in other countries. Have a gift, love the sport? Pursue it. And my advice would be the same regarding dance, music, or theater. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 My reservation would be that "going pro" and being paid for it could impact the opportunity to receive a sports based scholarship later. If he is talented in a sport in which he might be a candidate for scholarship, that is something to consider. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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Miss Tick Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Perhaps you want to put a horizon on the enterprise, also. I listened to an interesting radio story about baseball players that go from high school into the farm system. After 10 years they are making 40% of what their non-sports playing powers are making. The story implied that a lot of the players aren't aware of the statistics - low likelihood of success at this point, and also don't know how to step away from the sport. I have no idea if this type of situation happens in the soccer world. I'm just thinking that if you decide to pursue it, it might be worthwhile spelling out amongst yourselves what a reasonable test period would be, along with evaluation criteria. Just a thought from the outside. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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